A/N: Happy B-day GypsyDaydreamer (March 21)!
This is the next part of the Demon Bride universe! No real warnings apply… perhaps cruelty to plants…
Thank you to The Anti Sparkle Society for the title… ;) Yes, I have societies providing titles now… ;)
It's not very long, I'm afraid, but I just wanted to focus on a few scenes and leave the rest for future chapters, if there are to be any… which is up to you, of course… I still hope it's a fun read!
Demon's In-laws
From the last chapter:
"So… you're hitched to a demon?" Speedy asked. He and Robin had broken away from the group who were celebrating that all of the criminals in Jump suddenly were either packing a bag or being very, very polite. They were sitting on the roof, legs dangling easily over the edge.
"Yup."
"And he's gonna knock you up?"
"For the last time; no. Not possible. Tell me you didn't miss biology too?"
"I didn't, but… well… just wanted to make sure."
"Why?"
"Because… well…"
"Falling for the black one, huh?"
"He won't let me not fall for him, damn it!" Speedy hissed.
Robin chuckled at the skirt-and-shirt-chaser-turned-prey.
"Go ask him if he has magical lube fingers too," he suggested, and saw the archer's eyes getting really round behind his mask.
"Magical WHAT?"
"And I don't know about Red, but Slade has this long, forked tongue…"
"Oh, god…"
"But I don't know if all demons have those. Maybe yours have a forked cock…" the teen hero smirked.
"If you're trying to sell him to me… you're succeeding…" the red-head muttered and pressed his thighs together.
"Great, maybe then we can commute together…" Robin grinned. "Wait until you see the Demon-realm…. I've only seen a few rooms so far, but wow…"
"Sounds great, but… well, you're actually married, then?"
"Yes, seems so."
"And Slade wanted to get to know your family and Earth?"
"Yes?"
"Well… so what about Batman?"
Robin turned cold, but he went completely frozen when a dark, raspy voice behind them asked,
"What about me?"
Robin actually jumped so badly that he fell off the roof. Hadn't it been for Speedy's reflexes, Slade might have become a widower.
"Hmmm… I don't need any detective skills here…" Batman said darkly. "That reaction practically screams that you've done something I won't like."
"How… how much did you hear?" Robin gasped, clutching his chest.
"Just the last part."
The younger heroes gave each other a 'thank god!' look.
"My love!" Slade burst through the rooftop door like it was paper and swept Robin up, burying his large head in the crook of the teen's neck and breathing deeply, almost sniffing. "I felt your distress, what happened?"
"Yes… what happened?" Batman's voice slithered down their spines like ice.
"Who are you? If you hurt him-!" the demon growled, growing a couple of inches or so in size.
"I think that is my line. Let my ward go."
"Your ward?"
"Slade," Robin cut in. "This is Br- Batman, the man who raised me after my parents died."
"Your father?" the demon looked stunned and shrunk to his more normal size again.
"Well, he's my guardian and my mentor-" Robin began awkwardly. The 'daddy-issue' had always been a bit of a weird topic between them.
"He raised you and taught you, in my world that makes him your father. I am very pleased to meet you," Slade smiled and reached his hand out in greeting.
Batman crossed his arms and glared.
"Who are you?"
"Forgive me. I'm Slade, Lord of the Demon Realm, but more so, I'm so lucky as to be your son's husband. I'm delighted to welcome you to the family."
Slade was surprised that the answer he got was a fist in his face, hard enough to crack his jaw. He staggered back as Robin threw himself between them.
"Batman! No!"
"You are obviously possessed. Why hasn't this been stopped? Where's Raven?" The Dark Knight barked the questions to Speedy, who had just been frozen, staring wide-eyed at the proceedings.
Raven, Speedy decided, should definitely be there, so he whipped out his communicator.
"Titans! To the roof! Now!"
Less than a minute later they were all there, including Red X, who dove into the fight to protect his Lord. Robin was trying his best as well, but he was like an actual robin trying to keep two eagles from fighting, and was mainly pushed out of the way.
Batman didn't even pause when the second demon joined the fight. Blue or black, it didn't matter to him.
"What's Batman doing here?" Beast Boy gaped.
"Well, a gigantic demon appeared over Jump, shouting things about punishment… I think that made the national news, at least…" Raven drawled.
"Is this a fight of joy?" Starfire asked, confused as she saw two people she considered friends fighting.
"STOP IT!" they heard Robin shout again as Batman had landed a vicious kick to Red X's middle, making the demon fold double.
"Shouldn't you do something? Isn't he like your boyfriend now?" Cyborg asked Speedy.
"Right," the archer shrugged. "Hey. Stop. Don't do that," he continued in a normal, rather dry, speaking tone.
Demons, however, had great hearing.
"My gem! I knew you loved m-Ooff!" another one of Batman's feet had found a target.
It was a very strange fight, because the Dark Knight shouldn't really be winning… it was just that the largest demon refused to fight back, he merely blocked the punches as well as he could. Red X did his best, but he was confused by the way that Robin seemed to try to stop him and the scary guy in the cape.
"Have we seen enough?" Cyborg asked after a while, when Robin came flying past, having been shoved out of the way once more.
"Yes," Raven nodded. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!"
The next moment Batman found himself helplessly floating in the air, wrapped in black energy.
"Finally! What the hell took you so long!" Robin barked.
"The entertainment value," Speedy smirked the moment before he was swept up by a very eager and loving demon.
"My gem! My precious, precious-"
"Put me down! Put me down right n-mmmnnm…?"
Robin grinned briefly at the scene, wondering if Speedy was indeed finding out about that possible forked tongue, because the kiss looked deep enough. He had more serious matters to think about, however, and rushed over to his own demon, who was actually down on one knee.
"Are you hurt?"
"I am healing as we speak. Your father is a champion fighter. Is this a tradition? What happens next?"
"It's not a tradition, he thinks… well, I have no idea what he thinks… that you're evil, probably… I'm glad you didn't fight back."
"Of course not," Slade said and stood up, wincing just slightly. "He's family."
Batman heard this.
"I'm not your family!"
"Well… yeah, you are," Robin told him firmly as he left his husband's side and came to stand before his mentor instead.
"You are possessed! There's some dark magic involved, and-"
Robin sighed and turned to his teammate. "Raven, could you take this? He won't listen to me."
"And he shouldn't," the demon child nodded. "Had you been possessed, you would act like you do… but, Batman, with all due respect, we checked for everything, both magical and other forms of mind-control, and there's nothing. They are married. In love."
"This is insane!" the JL-member snarled.
"That I agree with," Robin smiled faintly. "It's very insane and-"
"LET ME GO!"
Surprisingly the shout didn't come from Batman, but from Speedy.
"Dude, you guys have been kissing the whole time," Beast Boy snorted. "Don't start crying wolf now."
"I just want to be put down!" the human red-head pouted. The demon redhead leered but did as his 'gem' wanted and the alien redhead decided that she would help to smooth things over.
"The lord Slade is truly a great man," she explained to Batman, who found that there was one person on this planet that his glare didn't work on at all. "He has sworn to help protect this city, and he loves consort Robin."
"Consort?" Batman's glare turned on Robin instead, who winced.
"It's… a term… But, really, don't attack Slade, okay? He's not a bad guy!"
"If needed I will prove myself to you," the demon told his father-in-law.
Batman looked like he didn't know what to believe, but after a moment's silent contemplation he nodded curtly.
"Fine. Release me."
Raven did so, but only after a nod from Robin, and things were awkward for a while.
"Friends! We were preparing the eating of the snacks in the kitchen, should we not commence with the celebration?" Starfire wanted to know, breaking the silence.
"My brownies!" Cyborg exclaimed and left running.
"There's a party?" Robin asked.
"Dude, there's always cause for a party!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "Besides, we haven't had a single alarm all evening, not as much as a jaywalker!"
"Yeah, well, that's good news…" Robin chuckled and glanced at Batman. "Would you like to borrow Slade for a bit? I mean if you need a vacation?"
"It's only temporary," the Dark Knight snorted.
"Vacations usually are," Robin pointed out dryly.
"I will be proud to help your father at any time he requires any assistance at all," Slade told them, as he came up and embraced his consort. Robin noticed that Batman's eye twisted so badly he could see it through the mask, but he didn't mind. His mentor would have to get used to it, after all. So instead of pulling away he hugged the demon back briefly, before taking his hand and leading him down the stairs.
"No! I don't want to hold hands with you!" they heard Speedy snarl behind them as Red X had obviously wanted to mimic the gesture.
Robin thought things were more or less sorted, but after a while Batman came up to them, looking determined.
"I need to speak to your demon," the man growled out.
"He has a name, but I'm sure Slade wouldn't mind talking to you… Slade?" he asked his husband.
"Of course not," the demon lord nodded.
"Stay where I can keep an eye on you," Robin warned, sending his own version of the bat-glare in the Dark Knight's direction. The two men in his life nodded and went off to the other side of the room, which was vast enough so the Titans wouldn't hear what was being said. Especially over the racket Speedy and Red X were making.
"But my Gem, you have to tell me how I can woo you! Nothing I do seem to be enough! What is your heart's desire?"
"For you to fuck off," the archer snorted, crossing his arms as he sat moping in the sofa.
"I'd love to! Come!" the demon said and reached out to him.
"Err… dude? 'Fuck off' means 'go away'?" Beast Boy translated.
"Oh… I was hoping…"
"Yeah, it was really clear what you were hoping, Romeo…" the archer muttered, his face a little red.
"My name is Red X, my gem… I mean so little to you that you refuse to remember even that?" the poor guy looked positively heartbroken, and Robin almost wanted to tell Speedy that he at least owed him a pity-fuck for that.
"I know your name, it was an expression!" Speedy growled, making his demon perk up a little.
"I will get you a human wooing gift, I'll be right back!" Red X told him and created a portal in the air, through which he disappeared. The magical doorway closed after him.
"You're really hard on him," Robin chuckled, looking away from Slade and Batman. There seemed to be a very intense interrogation going on, but nothing about the discussion appeared to be particularly hostile at the moment.
"Yeah, well… I know me," Speedy shrugged.
"What do you mean? You know what you like?" Robin asked.
"No, I know what I'm like… I'm as stubborn as he is when it comes to stuff like this and… well… if they fold easily…"
"Ah…" Robin smirked. "Playing hard to get?"
"Someone has to," the archer smirked back.
At that moment another portal opened and Red X stepped through, smiling widely and carrying a small bunch of flowers.
"For you, my gem! Flowers seem to be a common wooing gift, and so I brought you Ghost Orchids, one of the rarest plants on this world!"
"Rarest?" Speedy said, staring at the delicate and hauntingly beautiful, pun intended, flowers. "You idiot! They are rare and you picked them!"
The demon looked like he wanted to bang his head against the nearest wall.
"I… I'm sorry… I just thought… I wanted to give you something special and… I…" he drew a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "I will return the flowers and heal them!" he was gone again the next instant.
"Well… he's trying…" Robin said.
"Yup. He really is," Speedy grinned.
"You're evil."
"It's just self protection," the archer shrugged. "I must make sure he really sees something in me… I mean, yes, I'm gorgeous and sexy, and clearly my sex-appeal spans dimensions, I'm not that surprised, really, but he might just be curious, after all."
"Wait…" Robin said slowly, studying his friend. "Aren't you 'just curious'? Why would you want him to feel something deeper… unless….?"
"Shut up, he's just hot!" Speedy snapped, just before the Black-skinned demon appeared once more, this time with other flowers in his hands.
"These are for you! I have asked many people and no one seemed to mind me picking them!"
"But… oh, what the hell… Thank you," Speedy sighed and took the carefully arranged bunch of flowers. "Let's go and… find a vase for them or something."
The rest of the Titans stared after the archer and the demon as they left and then Starfire cleared her throat.
"Please, those flowers… they were dandelions, yes?"
Robin only had time to nod shortly before a sound he didn't want to hear interrupted. The sound of a fist hitting flesh and bone.
"Batman! What the hell!" Robin snarled spinning around to see the Dark Knight shake the pain from his hand while Slade was clutching his nose.
"He just said he hoped he would be able to give me grandchildren soon!" the bat growled.
"Oh," Robin said. "Then just… hit him again."
The End
A/N: More? There have been quite a few wishes for this to be M-preg, so if you agree and have a booked b-day coming up, use it and it will come true… ;) If you agree but you weren't in time to book a b-day, then you can always help by suggesting things like birth-scenarios, pregnancy-stuff, gender, names, how the baby (or babies?) might look… stuff like that… it will help feed my plot-bunnies, and they are always hungry the little buggers… ;)