A/N: I mentioned it in my group, but this chapter is one of the most important. If you can read between the lines in some parts, you'll really start to understand Edward. Also, Friday is my birthday, so I decided to give you another chapter that day!

Chapter 5

EPOV

—

"Yo, Ed." Peter slapped me on the shoulder. "Put the broom away and come talk to me in my office."

"Yeah, sure, man."

Propping the broom against the wall, I followed him into the back room where his office was and shut the door behind me.

"Have a seat." He gestured to the chair beside his desk. "First, I wanna put you at ease; you're doing a great job. We're all happy with the work you've done. That being said, I've got a client for you. A girl came in, wants some ink, but it's kind of a touchy subject."

"Okay…I'm listening."

"Well, she specifically asked for you."

I cocked an eyebrow, feeling taken aback. I still basically just swept up around the shop and made sure everyone was stocked up on what they needed. They'd let me do a few touch ups and small pieces, but that was it. So, yeah, I was confused. "Me?"

Peter laughed and shrugged. "She said she liked your eyes, so I showed her your sketchbook and the few little things we've let you do. She was hooked after that. But then, she asked to speak to me privately and gave me permission to talk to you about it as well." His face turned serious and I knew this was going to be big. "She's a sexual assault survivor, and her assaulter just got put away for life. She's trying to move on, trying to start over. But she wants something to remind her when it gets rough that she's made it through all her worst days thus far and she can keep going."

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart. In reality, this was why I went into this line of work. Sure, I knew I'd tattoo people who were doing it on a whim with no meaning behind it. But I also knew I could help people overcome things—celebrate where they had been and where they were going.

I looked down at my forearm, my gaze landing on the date of when I'd had a sexual encounter on my terms. It was nothing more than a kiss when I was fifteen, and mostly it was to prove to myself that I could kiss someone. But I'd told Bella and anyone else who asked that it was the day I'd lost my virginity. But in actuality, it was an inconspicuous reminder to myself that anything I did sexually was my choice. I could say no at any point, I could stop, and the same went for my partner. No meant no.

When I was younger—from around six, until I was eight—I hadn't been given a choice.

For as long as I could remember, my mom had dated the same guy on and off. I didn't remember ever having much of a relationship with him until mom asked him to move in. That was when things got fucked up, and he showed what a truly sick bastard he was.

Sure, Esme's and my biological father might have been an alcoholic who went around knocking up random women, but really, he wasn't a bad guy. Well, at least in the grand scheme of things, he wasn't.

At least our dad never pretended like he loved me.

He never snuck into my room at night and told me he loved me so much, or that he wished he was my real daddy.

He never told me that night time, when mommy was asleep, was our time to play games. He never—

There was a pain deep in my stomach and bile rose in my throat as my skin grew clammy. I couldn't go there, not right now, not at work.

All I knew was that if it weren't for Esme and my grandma, I might have not made it through as well as I did.

"Ed?" Peter called, bringing me back to the present. His expression was full of concern. "You okay, man?"

I wiped my damp palms off on my jeans, clearing my throat and searching for the strength to speak. My voice was rough as I started. "I mean, are you sure I'm the right fit? She wouldn't prefer Charlotte? I know she requested me, but I don't want to make her uncomfortable."

"Pretty sure she thought you were cute." He chuckled. "Besides, if she asked for you, you gotta trust that she knows herself."

I rolled my eyes at the cute comment. "Well, I've got a girl, so it doesn't matter if she thinks I'm cute."

"You got a girl? Since when?" He leveled me with a disbelieving look.

"I'm working on it, okay?"

He grinned at me. "Right. So, you up for the challenge or not? You do a good job on this, we'll start throwing you bigger pieces."

I glanced down at my arm one more time before looking back up at him. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm up for it."

—SB—

I walked into my apartment, throwing my keys down and letting the door slam shut. There obviously wasn't time to fall apart at work, nor would I ever want them to see it happen. Now that I was home though, I was exhausted from keeping it together the rest of the night. And I was angry as well. I was furious at him for creating the person I was today. And I was angry with myself for not being able to function like a normal human being.

I had problems trusting people. I'd never been in a successful, long-term relationship. And the one time I'd come close with Bella, it scared the shit out of me because I just didn't feel like I was enough. Like I wasn't a whole man. I did everything I could to sabotage our friendship, and she'd moved on, which was what I thought I wanted.

But once I found out Bella was getting married, it was as if my world flipped upside down. As if I was losing another part of me, the best part of me.

And I was tired of feeling like I was broken into pieces. It was as if no matter how hard I tried, none of them would fit back into place.

Maybe I'd never truly be whole, but I was sure I could be a hell of a lot closer with her beside me. Because when I'd had her with me before, I'd never felt more like me than I did then.

I whipped out my phone, pulling up Bella's number. I owed her a huge apology if I ever wanted her to talk to me again. And in reality, I knew an apology probably wasn't even good enough.

Edward: Bella, I know it's not enough, and there's no excuse for it, but I'm sorry about the last text I sent you. You deserve to be treated better than that. Really, I need to apologize for everything I've done so far. I don't expect you to forgive me, and I'll understand if you don't.

I wasn't expecting a reply, so I threw my phone down before getting up and wandering into the kitchen. I had no appetite, but I knew I still needed to eat something.

Just as I pulled some leftover Chinese out of the fridge, I heard my phone ding from the other room. I all but ran to check it.

Bella: Thank you for the apology.

A smile spread across my lips. Maybe it wasn't a proclamation of love, but it was something. It was some sort of start.

I pulled up Esme's number, typing out a text to her.

Edward: Apologized to Bella for being an asshole. She said thanks for the apology. Now what do I do?

Esme: Well, she didn't tell you to fuck off, so I guess that's something. Don't hound her. Send her a text every few days, ask her how she is. Things like that. But if she doesn't respond, leave her alone.

Edward: Do I respond this time? I don't know what the hell I'm doing, Es.

Esme: You could probably thank her for forgiving you and tell her Goodnight. Something simple and not over the top. Most importantly, DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.

Edward: Got it, keep it simple, no assholeness. Thanks, sis.

Esme: Do you think you'll ever tell her?

Edward:If I get the chance, yeah, one day I might.