w00t! Another organization fic, this one AxelRoxas. Seems like the Organization really strikes inspiration into a lot of people, me included.
This thought came to me as I was mushing strawberries for Easter. It's a lot of fun.
Disclaimer: Roxas, Axel, and KHII aren't mine. But I too can believe.
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There was something intensely satisfying about mashing up strawberries, Roxas decided. It was the closest thing to violence he had committed so far in the Organization, even though he had joined up almost two and a half weeks ago.
He dumped the strawberries into a large glass bowl, their green crowns just lopped off a couple minutes ago. With an inner smile, he slid off his two rings, pulled his checkered wristband further up his arm, and grabbed a strawberry.
It lay innocently in his palm, leaking juice from its wound on top. He put his other hand on top of it and squeezed it until it popped, lying quite dead now in his hand.
Roxas dropped it back into the bowl and grabbed another one. With its red colour and conical shape, it looked almost like a bisected heart.
He smashed it, juice staining the sleeve of his robe. Hah! What did he know about hearts? He had never had one, after all. And yet, this job was fun in a strange way.
One by one, the strawberries were killed and tossed into the bowl carelessly.
He stuck his hands in the bowl, grabbed a fistful of strawberries, and squeezed. The pieces of berry separated easily, staining his hands.
He could feel someone appear just behind him, but didn't turn to look.
Cloth-clad arms encircled his waist; he had gotten used to the intimate touches and caresses thrown around like spare change in the Organization.
"Hey Roxas, what're you doing?" a familiar voice asked. Axel.
"Smashing strawberries." he replied without emotion. He could feel Axel's grin somehow; he almost shivered when silky hair brushed his neck.
"Looks like fun. I was wondering who was doing all this good cooking." an ungloved hand reached out, the index finger dipping into the fruity mess.
Axel moved over to lean on the counter next to Roxas and lick his finger.
"Mm. No wonder Larxene likes you." he commented.
Roxas shrugged. Of all the Organization members, he was the only one who didn't bother trying to pretend to feel emotion. What was the point? There was no fooling himself.
He had been able to, once. He had actually believed they were wrong, that what he felt was true happiness or sorrow, rage or fear. But was just like anything else – you can think it enough to believe it, and that still doesn't make it true.
"Listen, Roxas-" Axel began.
"I know what you're going to ask," Roxas cut in, "and the answer is no."
Axel looked at him, surprised. Roxas stared back apathetically.
The redhead slid his eyes away.
"It's the closest we can get to feelings, Roxas. That childish naivety isn't going to save your soul."
"Neither will anything you choose to do with your life." Roxas shot back, pulling the bag of sugar closer and opening a cabinet to find the measuring cups.
"Got it memorized?" he added mockingly, measuring out a half cup of sugar and pouring it in with the strawberry mess.
Axel reached over and stuck his hands in the bowl, mixing the sugar and strawberries slowly.
"We're not supposed to exist. We literally are Nobodies." he murmured.
"And yet…even if that's true, that doesn't mean we should live our lives like that." he lifted his hands from the bowl and walked over to the sink, expertly turning it on with an elbow.
His words made sense.
"…and…what does it matter whether something's true or false, as long as you believe in it, right?" Roxas flinched. It almost sounded as if the redhead had read his mind.
"How…did you know?" he asked hesitantly.
Axel smirked.
"I've got a talent for reading people."
The blonde thought about his words. He had believed once…he had believed he was happy. That cold emptiness, the one he carried around with him all the time now hadn't been noticeable then.
"I'm not sure I can…believe, I mean…" he said awkwardly.
Roxas looked down at the strawberries. That's what he felt like, cold and dead and smashed into little pieces, mixed in with so many others. And yet, he still felt all alone.
Then, Axel's hands, cold and wet, touched the back of his neck. He closed his eyes and shivered this time. The damp hands slipped up into his hair, hot breath taking their place.
"I can help; I want to help." He whispered huskily.
Roxas felt behind him and found Axel's hips, his knees suddenly feeling weak.
"Ah…I…" he stammered out.
"Sssh…" the man whispered into his ear. "I'll convince you."
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Ama god, the angst >.> I've never written something quite this angsty before, but I think it turned out good. Sooooooooo… questions, comments, flames, so on and so forth? I like reviews of all kinds smilesmile