The Return of the Fight Merchant
"Dammit Sano!" growled Yahiko, his voice syncopated by the jolting of the galloping horse.
"Shut it, sprog," Sanosuke son of Sanothorn snapped back, adjusting his grip on the back of Yahiko's gi. "You're too small to ride a horse by yourself, and we've got to get to Gondor before it's overrun by a horde of ninjas fresh out of Mordor."
"I thought you said the walking trees beat those ninjas," Yahiko retorted, yelling to be heard over the rumble of hoofbeats. An army of pirate horsemen -- and one pirate horsewoman, unbeknownst to them -- surrounded them on all sides.
"A different horde of ninjas, idiot," Sano growled, cuffing Yahiko on the back of the head.
"Dammit Sano!"
"Shut it."
o-o-o
"Well, Milady Kaoru," Kenshin said, "we could go in through the main gates guarded by a thousand ninjas, or we could follow Shishio up this deathtrap-narrow flight of stairs and through a cave infested with giant spiders, or we could give up and go home."
"Ugh, spiders." Kaoru grimaced in disgust. "Eh, whatever. Lead on, Shishio."
"Yesss, my Preciousss."
o-o-o
Sanosuke son of Sanothorn gazed out over the walls of Gondor at the massed horde of ninjas that blackened the plain below. "No problem," Sano said cockily as he cracked his knuckles.
"We're doomed." Okina, King of Gondor, turned away from the vista and closed his eyes. "The cherry-blossom tree in the citadel at the top of the city lost all its blossoms yesterday," he continued, "and my son Aoshi lies near death, injured in battle." He paused, considering. "Y'know, Shinomori Aoshi is a little mentally unstable. I think I'll kill him off myself, just to be safe." He strolled off, whistling a jaunty tune.
"Hey, Sano," Yahiko called from his seat on top of the parapet. Being so short -- he was a hobbit, after all -- this was the only way he could see over the wall. "Aren't you worried about that prophecy that says the ninja captain cannot be killed by mortal man?"
"Nah." Sano waved it off. "Shura came with us. She'll finish him off."
o-o-o
They had lived for a week on bugs and rainwater. Nothing grew on the flanks of Mount Hiei except for thorn bushes, and the place was swarming with ninjas. To make matters worse, Kaoru had become despondent, the golden ribbon a physical weight in the front of her gi, dragging her down as they struggled onward. Kenshin helped her as much as he could. He knew he couldn't carry the ribbon -- it was Kaoru's ribbon, after all -- but he could carry her, and so carry her he did.
o-o-o
"That was easy," Sano quipped, brushing dust off his hands. The plains of Gondor lay drenched in the blood of a thousand ninjas, and the streets were lined with makeshift stretchers and cots containing the moaning multitude of injured. Yahiko and Misao, and Shura too if Sano hadn't been mistaken, had been carried off to the clinic to be bandaged up. Typical kids, he thought. Always getting into scrapes. He looked back out over the battlements. "Though I wonder where they got ahold of those elephants," he mused.
A distant plume of smoke caught his eye, rising above the barely-visible peak of Mount Hiei. "Huh. I wonder how Kenshin and the Little Miss are doing." Sano watched the smoke for a little while longer, then shrugged and wandered inside. It had been a long day, and he was hungry.
o-o-o
"Milady Kaoru! Milady Kaoru!" Kenshin shouted desperately, running up the steep and rocky trail as fast as he could manage in his starved and exhausted state. A snarl alerted him just too late to the pursuit. "Aah-oof!" Shishio Makoto landed on top of him with tremendous force, banging Kenshin's head into a rock before scrambling onward up the trail. Toward Kaoru.
"Milady Kaoru!" Kenshin wailed, struggling to hands and knees. He had to protect her. Just a little further. He made it to the top of the trail and sprawled onto the ground.
Kaoru stood at the far edge of a cliffside arena, gazing down into the flames that roared and gouted beyond its edge. In her hand was the golden ribbon, seeming to glow in the light of the fires.
"Throw it in, Milady Kaoru! Throw it in!" Kenshin urged her.
But Kaoru stood, wavering, as if fighting a battle within herself. The ribbon. The ribbon of power. The One Ribbon to Rule Them All. She'd carried it for so long. Could she just throw it away now? She reached up and pulled her own length of indigo silk from her hair, letting it flutter away in the wind of the flames.
"Milady Kaoru, no!"
Kaoru reached up and gathered up her hair, the golden ribbon in one hand. And then she vanished.
Shishio Makoto charged forward out of the shadows, hitting out at the air and grappling with something invisible, as if he were putting on a kabuki show.
Kenshin watched, speechless with shock, as the bandage-swathed wraith clawed at his Lady, his snarls audible above the roar of the flames. "Milady Kaoru..." he whispered.
"Ow!" came a sudden yelp, in Kaoru's voice. "Why are you biting me, you idiot? The ribbon's in my hair!"
"Bleh," Shishio said. "You taste worse than Kenshin."
"What? Ow!"
And suddenly she was visible again, falling to her hands and knees as Shishio held the golden ribbon triumphantly aloft, dancing and capering on the edge of the abyss. "Ha ha ha ha ha whoops--" His footing slipped and he plunged over the edge, the ribbon still in his hand. The last sound they heard was Shishio's eerie laughter, mingled with the roar of flames.
Kenshin rushed forward to cradle Kaoru in his arms. "Oh, Milady Kaoru, your poor hair. Here, let me--" He reached up and undid his own hair tie, letting all that gorgeous red hair fall around his shoulders, and tenderly retied Kaoru's ponytail.
"It's... over," Kaoru said softly. Her eyes were clear once more, clear of the madness of the Ribbon. "It's over." She smiled. "Come on Kenshin, let's go home."
They stood to leave, but immediately staggered as a powerful earthquake shook Mount Hiei.
"The power of the ribbon..." Kenshin said.
"What are you talking about? That was just an earthquake."
"Yes, but..." Kenshin pointed at the path ahead of them. The quake had triggered a landslide, covering the trail with an impassable pile of debris.
The two exhausted hobbits sank to their knees, huddling together for comfort as Mount Hiei shook itself apart around them.
"So this is it," said Kenshin. "We're going to die."
Kaoru looked at him. He wasn't very tall. And it certainly could not be described as a nice day. So she said nothing.
Some time later, a small owl landed on the hillside next to them, cocked its head to look at them sideways, and flew away.
"So much for the deus ex machina," Kaoru commented. "How did Saitou get out of this?"
"What? Oh." Kenshin looked around, then pointed. "There's another trail over there."
"Okay. Come on, Kenshin. Let's go back to Tokyo together."
"Hai, Milady Kaoru." And the two set off, hand in hand, down the flanks of Mount Hiei.
-- Owari --