Chapter 8

BPOV

I pulled into my parents' driveway and rested my head against the seat.

I'd spoken to James. I told him I wasn't being fair to either of us. I cared about him—and I really did—but it wasn't enough. I shouldn't have agreed to marry him when I wasn't completely in love with him. He deserved someone who could fully give themselves to him. That person wasn't me.

But it was as if he didn't hear me. Instead of getting upset, he held my hand and told me that maybe I just needed to think about things. He said I should pack a bag and go away for the weekend, and if I was still unsure, we'd talk more.

What the hell was there to talk about? I was done.

A weekend away wasn't going to fix it. My mind was already made up. The realization that I didn't love him wasn't a new one. The only thing that had changed was that I didn't want to settle any longer.

Despite that, I packed my bag and drove the four-hour drive from Seattle to my parents' house in Forks. The only person who could help me right now was my mom.

—SB—

I grabbed my bag from the backseat and headed to the front door.

"Mama?" I called out as I walked in.

"Bella?" My mom rushed into the foyer, a look of confusion written on her face. "Baby, what are you doing here?"

"Gee, it's good to see you, too."

Hands on hips, she leveled me with a stare that only mothers knew how to use. "You know exactly what I mean, Isabella. It's not as if you show up here out of the blue often." She looked me up and down, inspecting me, making sure I wasn't missing limbs or something.

"I had some free time, so I thought I'd visit you and Daddy." I raised my eyebrows, giving her a sheepish grin.

"Uh huh," she drawled. "Where's your ring?"

I chewed on my bottom lip, fidgeting in my spot. "In my jewelry box in my apartment?"

"Come on," she said with a sigh. "Leave your bag there and let's go have a drink. I feel like we need a little girl talk."

—SB—

"Here." She unscrewed the cap, placing the beer in front of me before taking a long pull from her own. "Talk."

Taking a sip from my bottle, I exhaled. "I don't love James. I never did. Sure, I care about him a lot, but it's just not enough."

She rested her hand on my shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "I could have told you that."

"What the hell?" I nearly shouted. "You were going to let me marry someone you knew I didn't love?"

"Let you?" She laughed. "Last I checked, you were a twenty-five-year-old woman and capable of making your own decisions. It's not that I hadn't planned to talk to you. I want you to be happy, but, baby, the only one who has any power over your choices now is you. Not me or your father. Now, will you tell me what finally brought about this change of heart?"

I sat there quietly for a few moments, picking at the label on my beer bottle. "Edward showed up at my apartment," I murmured.

"Edward Cullen?"

I looked up at her, rolling my eyes. "I don't know any other Edward's, Mother," I snapped. Cringing slightly at my tone, I apologized. "Sorry."

"At the speed you're telling this story Bella, I'm going to go gray."

"You dye your hair; you're already gray."

"My point exactly." She held out her hand in front of her, signifying for me to go on.

"One of his jobs, he's a waiter at Outlier. He was there working when we all went to celebrate the engagement. He showed up at my apartment a while after that, and he was so angry, Mom. But I don't think it was directed at me. It seemed like he was angry with himself, you know?"

She hummed softly, nodding. "Of course he'd be upset with himself. He loves you."

I held my hands up in front of me. "Wait, what?"

She shrugged. "I only saw you two together a few times when we visited, but the way he looked at you, it was like he was ready to jump in front of a bullet for you. It was intense, to say the least. I was pretty surprised when you told me what happened between you two."

I shook my head. "No, he never looked at me that way."

"You must be blind."

"Mom, I told him I loved him. He told me he couldn't love me and then everything just…stopped. No more texts or calls, all these girls paraded in front of me. And now he shows up, yelling at me, telling me he loves me, that he wants to fight for me? It makes no damn sense."

"Did you hear what you just said? He said he couldn't love you, not that he didn't. Those are two very different words. It sounds like he didn't handle any of it very well, but men, they're not always the smartest when they're scared. Have you asked him why he couldn't then but now he can? That alone might give you some answers you're looking for."

"He's always been so closed off, but the little things he gave me about himself and the times when he did open up, I think about them occasionally, and God, I love him so much. But how am I supposed to trust him? What if I put my heart out there and he breaks it all over again?"

She placed her hand over mine. "That's a hard question to answer, honey. But you won't find any answers wondering over it. I think the only thing you can do now is talk to him. And if you don't like his answers, even if it hurts, you'll have your answer."

"Thanks, Mom."

"I love you, baby. I'm always here for you. Now, your father is going to be home soon and I think he'd really appreciate a home-cooked meal from you. He suffers through my cooking enough."

—SB—

After dinner, I told my parents I was heading up to my old room. As the door clicked shut, I pulled my phone from my pocket, I stared at the blank screen for a while before opening up my texts. I scrolled through all the recent ones from him that I'd read but hadn't replied to.

The last one had made me smile.

"Trusting me with bigger jobs lately." He'd written. And attached was a picture of one of the most beautiful tattoos I had ever seen. He really was so talented.

Bella: Can we talk? Face to face?

I hovered over the send button for what felt like an eternity before I finally found my balls and sent it.

His reply was fast.

Edward: "Yes, when?"

Bella: I'm away until Sunday night, maybe Monday?

Edward: Is after six okay?

Bella: Yeah, that's fine. Meet me at that cafe across from Outlier.

Edward: I'll be there.

I took a deep breath as I placed my phone down on the dresser. I prayed I was making the right decision.

How are we feeling, loves? What do you think of Renee? How do you think their meet up is going to go?