Yeah, yeah, I'm back. And I took a few months. Big whoop. Stop complaining or I'll kill you all in your sleep with an ice pick.
Okay, seriously now, I'm sorry for the delay. Let's just say I got caught up in another story I'm doing. Or maybe it's because I only got four reviews for Bender's Fanfic as opposed to the seventeen I got for Peter's Fanfic! Seriously, people, was there something worse about my last one?
Anyway, I've got to get back to America's Answer and Oyaji. Still, we've got about a month left of school, so I should be starting on those soon enough. I have not abandoned my other Ranma fics. You'll see updates, don't worry.
And now, here's my next Adult Swim fic. Good job to those of you who guessed, it's Meatwad's Fanfic:
Hell yeah. I finally got me some time on Frylock's computer. Dat's right, bitch. Now I get to write whatever the hell I want. I'm da goddamned king o' de computer. You better believe it, bitch. Damn, ass, bitch-
"Meatwad, you better not be writing swear words on my computer!"
Oh, oh, shoot, I'm sorry, Frylock! Damn, Frylock so uptight! I never get'ta have fun around here. Anyway, our story begins in Japan. At least I think it Japan. I tried callin' em' once, but dey kept saying stuff about Ohio, or somethin'. I coulda' swore I called Japan! Whatever. Dis boy, who lived in Japan, was outside his house, breakin' blocks. I gotta learn me how to break stuff like dat. I'm sick'o Master Shake hittin' me with dat back scratcher! I wanna hit him back and make him break!
Oh, yeah, I forgot. Well, he was outside, doing stuff, when some girl came out. She ain't his wife yet, like the one I've got. Wait a minute, my wife left me! I guess he got it better than me. And she came out with this pot of stuff that she liked to call food. O'course, it was just plain crap. And she tried to get him to eat it, like when Frylock tries to get me to eat dem damn green things!
"Hell no!" he said. And damn right. If I were him, I'd be like good ole' MC Pee Pants, and tell her I don't want no (elephant sound) green crap. I want me some (school bell)-ing candy! And when I say I want (door knock)-ing candy, you'd better get in (horse sound)-ing gear, and bring me some (owl hoot)-ing candy! And if you bring me any more o' dis crap, I'll etch it in your mother-(pop)-ing butt with a letter opener! How hard can it (chirp chirp)-ing be? CAN-mother(drum roll)-ing-DY! I guess dat's da price I pay for living wit' dis (phone ring)-ing moron-
"Meatwad! Knock it off!"
Oh, all right! Geez, dey never nice to me. Well back to da story. Dat girl didn't like that he wouldn't eat her stuff, and she threw the whole pot at him. He jumped outta' the way and made a face at her. But then she threw a big hammer at him. And he fell into the pond, and he got all wet-DAMN! Dat boy change into a girl! He got red hair, an' all dat…heh! I wonder if he read Vogue, like Frylock do! Cause when a boy read Vogue, he become a girl! Heheheheheh! Damn, I funny. So dat boy got mad at da girl. And dey started fightin'. He kept callin' her names and stuff, and she kept on throwing more o' dat green crap at him. And every now and den, he get hit with the stuff. Dat boy sure is dumb. He got a dumb family, and he live in a dumb town. But hell, I dumb too. I don't even know where the heck my doo doo come out. And when it come out, I just eat it.
Anyway, dat's when all the other people showed up. I think dey his friends. Or maybe dey not. Hell, he got more friends den I do. All I got are an apple, a paper towel roll, and some dumb box with an Afro. My friends suck!
(Funky 70's beat starts up)
Well, boy. If you gonna diss me, diss me to mah face!
Boxy, please, don't take it like dat-
Well how you want me to take it? Huh, boy? You done insultin' me, and you can't even write! Your story just plain dumb, boy!
Hey, I'm tryin' my best! And how you supposed to write better? You a box!
I can write way better than that, boy! Listen here: This boy from Japan, see. And when he hit cold water, he turn into one foxy chick! He a she! And she go and make a nice night on the town, oh yeah…
Okay, Boxy, I think dat's enough. Yeesh. I try to write somethin', and everybody get in my way. Oh yeah. Da boy's friends, dey showed up. And dey all mad at him because o'some reason or another. And they beat da crap outta' him. And I mean a LOT. Dey really knock him dead. And when one final kick sends him flyin' into da sky, past airplanes and all dat, he says to himself: "My life sucks." Shut up, boy! At least you got a brain dat works! And you don't have to eat sand every day! (Hears noise from the hall) Uh oh…
(Shake walks in, waving a fondue fork) "Who ate my lobster caviar? Did you do it, you little freak? Get over here!"
Okay, me and my wife gotta get outta' here now!
-Epilogue-
Ranma walked up the road back to the dojo, nursing his several dozen injuries.
"Jerks! I didn't do anything! Why'd they all have to gang up on me like that?"
As he passed a dump, he looked over and noticed something.
"Huh?
Laying in an open box next to the dumpster was an enormous, fresh sandwich, stacked with everything Ranma liked: meats, cheeses, vegetables, and condiments of all kinds. And, for some reason, the bread was red, and had devil horns and a tail. Of course, he didn't care to notice that.
"Sweet! Free sandwich! Things are finally going my way!"
As he picked it up, he sensed an annoying presence closing in, and stepped out of the way just in time to watch Genma slip by, miss the sandwich, and fall crashing into the dumpster, the door slamming over him.
"Forget it, Oyaji! This is MY sandwich!" And with that, ignoring the sudden buildup of clouds, the lightning strikes, the word 'DEATH' appearing on the walls all around him, the insane laugh that suddenly resonated, and all other notes of impending doom, he brought it to his face, and took a bite.
Well, I hope you all enjoyed this one! Once again, sorry for taking a while to get around to it. Give me more reviews, and you just might see quicker updates!
I just decided something. In one of my next fics, the Mooninites will invade Nerima. I hope you all like the sound of that. Well, I've got to go. Adult Swim will be showing Saved By the Bell episodes for two weeks, and we don't wanna miss that, do we? Of course not. Happy trails.