Jane knew she had been attracted to men before. Well, she was pretty sure she had, although who exactly she'd been attracted to escaped her memory right now. She remembered having crushes on boys and being crushed by girls. The other girls at school were always so mean, were always so different to her, with their shiny hair and soft lips and firm tits that Jane definitely hadn't spent too much time thinking about. They crushed Jane with barely a thought, and Jane wondered what it would be like to be one of them, to feel like she fit in, to feel like she fit in her own skin. The boys were much easier, much nicer to her, and she liked some of them in a casual, maybe-later kind of way.

But while she liked thinking about Casey, she hadn't really liked talking to Casey or writing to Casey or kissing Casey or having sex with Casey. It wasn't that any of those things were bad or terrible, they just weren't exciting or promising. The thought of him didn't make her breath catch, didn't have her waiting at the airport. She liked the idea of Casey, but when she thought of the kind of person she'd like to be with, it was someone she liked talking to. Someone she found interesting, someone she could listen to rattle off species of venomous snakes from South Africa and their distributions through said country. Someone who could listen to her complain about her Ma and know she meant it good naturedly. Someone who could handle her brothers, who took her side instead of theirs. Someone who needed Jane to protect them sometimes, instead of wanting to protect Jane, making her feel weak and small. Someone who could make a decent cup of coffee, someone who would take on her brother's baby for the night without a second thought. Someone who would go to doctor's appointments and awards ceremonies with her. Someone blunt and forthright. Someone loyal and true.

So she broke up with Casey, because he deserved all those things as well. From someone that wasn't her. Because while Jane was sure she'd been attracted to men before, any attraction she'd had towards Casey paled sharply in contrast to the way Jane's heart beat sped up at the very idea of seeing Maura, even though she saw her everyday. It didn't hold a candle to the way Jane felt when Maura gave her that smile she only ever gave Jane. Jane had figured it out a while ago because she was a detective, even if there were somethings left undetected she always had to solve a case. In this case it was why she'd rather hang out with Maura than her boyfriend, and why she liked watching Maura's mouth so much. Maura was pretty; hell, she was gorgeous. But a lot of women were gorgeous and Jane didn't spend half her night thinking about the way she'd made them laugh, the way they looked when they laughed. Before she'd met Maura, sure, on occasion. But not since. Jane knew she'd had crushes before, but only Maura could truly crush her. They were so close that if Maura knew and Maura didn't want her, she'd be utterly broken, crushed under one of those elegant stilettoes. So she kept it to herself, even though she knew Maura knew something was wrong.

Maura let herself in. They never needed to knock, not at each other's homes and when Maura made it to the bedroom, Jane was only half asleep. Jane rolled over when Maura slid under the covers and let herself hold Maura selfishly, fiercely, protectively for a little while, Maura soft and complacent and grateful, and it killed Jane how grateful Maura was to be held, not knowing that Jane had twisted their relationship, that Jane might be attracted to her. Maura couldn't lie, but Jane felt like her whole life was a lie. Like she'd been lying to herself, and worse, Maura. And Maura just lay there, grateful for even the smallest mote of affection anyone could spare her.

"What's wrong," Maura asked finally. "Is it Casey?"

"It's you. Casey was everything I could want in a man. But I didn't want him." Jane knew Maura didn't like to extrapolate from missing data, but she knew she'd supplied enough clues for Maura to know. "And you're the only person I actually like. You're the only person I can stand to spend more than a few hours a week with. You're the only person I can see myself living with. We have everything I didn't have with Casey."

"Not everything," Maura said quietly. "There's certain things I don't have."

Jane paused, aware that her thumbs were rubbing over Maura's forearms.

"What if that wasn't a deal-breaker?" Jane asked, holding her breath. Maura rolled over, examined Jane in the dim light from the window.

"Are we having a sleepover, or is this your way of saying you're attracted to me?" Maura asked, but her voice was light and knowing, and she leant in to test her hypothesis.

Jane had been attracted to men before. She was pretty sure that at some point she'd found at least one man slightly attractive. But with Maura sleeping angelically in her arms, it was very hard to remember who, or why. When she thought about the type of person she wanted to be with, the only possible answer was Maura, as it had been all along. But now Maura knew, and she didn't mind - quite the opposite, in fact, and Jane could finally stop holding back all of the affection that she deserved. Jane brushed some hair out of Maura's face to look at her in the moonlight and pressed a kiss to her temple. She was pale and ethereal in the moonlight, and Jane had never seen anyone quite so attractive.

One shot