Chapter 11
BPOV
Edward: Cute toes
I could feel the heat on my cheeks as I read his message. I wasn't sure what had compelled me to send him the picture of my pedicure, but for whatever reason, I'd wanted to include him.
"Who was that? Was it Edward?"
I rolled my eyes. My mom had come to spend the weekend with me while my dad was out of town on business. It didn't happen often that she ventured into the city, so she'd treated me to a pedicure and now we were out to dinner. I was thankful for the company, even if she was nosey as hell at times.
Right now, my heart and my head were constantly at war. Having him back within my grasp was difficult. There was a part of me that wanted to just pick up our friendship where we'd left off. I wanted to see where all of this would go, but I knew that wasn't possible. Not yet.
"If you have to know, yes, Mother, it was Edward."
"It makes me happy that you two are talking again."
"I don't know if I'd call it talking," I muttered
Mom leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. She raised an eyebrow in my direction. "Well, whatever it is, you don't sound too happy about it."
Squeezing my eyes shut for a moment, I took a deep breath before opening them again. "I am. I mean, I think I am? I'm just really confused, is what it is."
"About what?"
"He hurt me. A lot. And now, even though we've talked, even though he basically laid everything out for me, I just don't know how to let him in this time. If he hurts me again, if he doesn't let me in, then what do I do?"
"Did you ever really let him in before?"
I sat back, my eyes wide with shock. "What?"
"You keep wanting him to let you into his life, but did you ever let him fully let him into yours?"
I stared down at my plate, pushing my food around. "I feel like I did."
"Tell me one thing he knows about you that only I know and no one else does."
"Mom—"
I could feel her stare burning into me. "Isabella."
Lifting my head, I glared at her. "I don't know, okay?" I shot back.
"So, he doesn't know that you lost your virginity to Tyler Crowley on prom night and then regretted it?"
"Mom!" I nearly shouted. "No, he doesn't know that. It never came up."
"Why not? That seems like something best friends would discuss. How are you supposed to have anything with this man if you're both keeping each other at arm's length? You said he laid it all out when you talked, right?"
"Yeah…"
She reached across the table, grasping my hand. "Well, maybe it's time you laid it all out for him, too. If you don't give him a chance, Bella, this is all you two will ever be. And to me, that seems like a waste."
"So, what am I supposed to do, Mom? I'm scared."
"You can still go slow. But, I don't know, what do you kids call it now? Hang out with him, go to the movies, but most importantly, talk to him. Maybe Netflix and chill?" She waggled her eyebrows.
Once again, I rolled my eyes. "We're definitely not there yet."
—SB—
I sat in my bed, staring down at my phone. My mom had left late the next night, but her words were still echoing through my mind. Had I really never let him in? Had we both been closed off to each other?
Bella: Are you awake?
It was a few minutes before his reply came.
Edward: Yeah, sorry, just got out of the shower and saw your message.
My cheeks bloomed pink. The last thing I needed right now was the image of a wet, naked Edward.
Bella: How was your weekend?
Edward: Not bad, had dinner with Esme and Carlisle. How was yours?
Bella: My mom was in town for a couple days. We got pedicures and grabbed dinner.
Edward: That explains the cute toes.
I took a deep breath before I wrote out my next message. My mom was right. It had been weeks since Edward and I had talked face to face. I knew now that he wouldn't push me. The ball was completely in my court. That meant if I never budged, this was where we would stay—in some sort of weird limbo.
Bella: I was wondering if you were free on Friday?
Edward: I get off around 7 that night, will that work?
Bella: Sure. I was thinking maybe we could see the new Batman movie, if you're up for that?
Edward: Definitely up for it.
Bella: Okay, great. Well, have a good night.
Edward: Sweet dreams.
I flopped back onto my pillow, staring at the ceiling. If I was being honest, I was terrified, but my belly was also full of butterflies at the thought of seeing him.
How the hell was I going to make it all the way to Friday?
—SB—
Just like I thought it would, the week passed by slowly. But Friday eventually came and I'd been staring at the clock the whole day. I willed its hands to move, but they just ticked by, second by second.
It was only a little after one when I returned from lunch and sat down at my desk. As I powered my computer back up, my phone pinged with an incoming text.
Edward: I was wondering if you'd want to meet me at the shop when you get off work? We could head to the theater once I'm done.
There were those damn butterflies again, flapping their wings and making me feel like I was about to puke.
Bella: Okay. It won't be a problem?
Edward: All the other guys' girls show up and hang out from time to time.
Edward: Sorry. What I meant is that it's fine. It won't be a problem.
I swallowed thickly, reading his message over and over. How I hoped we'd be able to get to that point one day, where I would be his girl.
My leg bounced nervously as I typed my reply.
Bella: okay. I'll see you around five forty-five.
Once again, I looked up at the clock on the wall. Damn that stupid thing for moving so slowly.
How are we feeling? How do you think this interaction is going to go after last time?