Chapter 14

EPOV

My mind drifted as I stared at her. Sometimes it seemed surreal that she was back in my life. It had been two weeks since things had changed and I still couldn't stop thinking about it.

The way her lips had felt against mine, soft and giving, yet so firm. The way we melded together lit a flame inside my belly, and nothing had yet to put it out.

We hadn't shared many kisses since then, only a few heated, yet chaste ones. And if I was being honest, they drove me to want more. Things I had only imagined with her, but was too scared to even attempt. I wanted to know what it felt like to sit on the couch with her in my lap, making out like horny teenagers. My mind wandered to the place where I imagined what she would feel like underneath me, or how her breasts would feel against my palms.

No one—and I meant literally no one—had ever sparked anything in me like Bella did. But I wouldn't—I couldn't—rush us. There was too much at stake. I loved her, and taking our time was more important at this point. If we did this right, if we got to truly know each other, hopefully, we'd have a lifetime together to discover all the intimate parts of each other.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Her voice brought me back to her living room.

My tongue poked out, wetting my lips. "It's really hard for me to look at you and not want to kiss you."

Her cheeks heated to the most beautiful shade of pink. I loved how I could cause that sort of reaction in her. Her gaze flickered from my eyes to my lips and then…lower.

I felt myself harden at her perusal, swallowing thickly. I cleared my throat, bringing us both to the here and now. Admittedly, it felt good knowing that maybe she was having similar feelings to mine. But as I'd said, neither of us was ready for that step.

So, instead, I changed direction. "Um, I wanted to ask you a question."

"Yes?" Her voice was husky, sending a warm rush of desire through me.

I took a deep breath, attempting to stay on track. "What's something you enjoy doing?"

Her eyebrows raised. "Kissing you." She smirked.

I chuckled. This was a far cry from our yelling match that we'd had on the sidewalk just a couple of weeks back. "Apparently I should have been more specific."

She rolled her eyes, propped her cute feet up on her coffee table beside mine. "Forgive me for trying to get you to kiss me after that line you laid on me a moment ago. Now you've got me all…bothered."

I laughed loudly at her choice of wording before turning my body and slipping two fingers under her chin. I pressed my lips to hers, and she let out a quiet moan before adding more pressure to the kiss. She moved to her knees so that she was hovering above me. Her fingers threaded through my hair, pulling gently. My own hands slipped to her waist, digging into the flesh I found there.

My fingers traveled higher, until they rested just beneath her breasts, my lips never leaving hers. How easy it would be—

"Edward," she breathed against my lips.

"Shit." I panted, our breaths mingling together. "We need to stop."

"I'm sorry," she murmured.

"I'm not. It's just, I feel like we deserve more, Bella. Everything got so fucked up the last time, and like hell am I gonna mess this up again."

She lowered herself, sitting on her feet. "No, you're right. It's just hard."

"Yeah, it's really hard."

"Edward." She glared at me, but there was a smile on her lips.

I sat back, pulling her against me. "Before you attacked me, I asked you a question. What's something that you like to do?"

"I don't know. I guess I like to cook?"

"Are you passionate about it?"

"I don't know." She huffed, catching on to where I was going. "I'm good at it. People seem to like what I make."

I didn't like the fact she felt as though there was nothing to her, especially when I knew it wasn't true. She hadn't discovered her passions yet. That's all it was. And sure, maybe my love of drawing came from not knowing how to get my thoughts out, but over time, it had grown. It morphed into something I was good at, something I had a passion for. It was still a way for me to cope, but now, I used it to make others happy as well.

"You've never cooked for me."

She looked up at me, scrunching her nose. "Well, you never asked, did you?"

I pinched her hip, making her squirm and let out a squeal. "No, I guess I never did. Bella, will you cook for me?" I pushed out my bottom lip in a pout.

"Fine, but we have to go to the store. I have nothing here."

I stood, pulling her to her feet. "Lead the way."

—SB—

"So, are you a meat and potatoes kind of guy?" She grabbed a shopping cart from the corral. "Pasta? Chicken? I've only ever really seen you eat pizza and burgers."

I shrugged. "My grandma used to make homemade pizza. It was the only thing I'd eat when I went to live with her. I guess I branched out as I got older. I'll be honest, I haven't really ever had a good steak."

"Then steak it is. And garlic mashed potatoes."

"You've got my mouth watering now."

She became quiet as we made our way around the store, and I was worried I might've said something to upset her. But for the life of me, I couldn't think of any part of our conversation that would have made her mad. "Hey, Bella, are you okay?" I figured there was no better way to find out than asking.

"I'm fine, why?"

I shoved my hands in my pockets as we continued to walk. "You haven't really said anything for the last couple of minutes."

"I guess I've been trying to think up a way to ask you something."

"You could always just, you know, ask."

We stopped in the middle of an aisle with no one else around. It was later in the evening, so thankfully, the place was pretty empty. "It's not as if you've been forthcoming in the past. I get nervous to ask things, afraid you'll shut down."

That I could understand. I was pretty well known for walking away when I felt uncomfortable, but I knew I couldn't do that with her anymore. "I can't promise I'll give you an answer, but I can promise that I won't hide from you, okay? Ask me what you want, baby."

"Why did you live with your grandma?"

"Um." I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I knew what Carlisle had said. I should tell her the whole truth, but it didn't have to be overnight. If I wasn't ready, it was okay. It didn't mean I couldn't be honest with her, though. "My mom…she should have never been a mom. It just—it wasn't a good situation."

"I'm sorry."

I shrugged, playing it off as if it weren't a big deal. "My grandma was great."

"I'm glad you had her, then. Okay, so we need to go get potatoes now, and we probably should have some sort of vegetable or salad with this."

And that was it. She didn't press me for more. She accepted my answer and we went back to normal. It was exactly what I needed to know: she'd listen, but she wouldn't pity me. It gave me more confidence to know one day I'd be able to tell her everything.

—SB—

"Oh, my God, Bella." I dropped my fork onto my plate.

"Is that a good or bad 'oh, my God?'"

"So fucking good. I've never had a meal like that." And I seriously hadn't. The steak was perfectly tender—it had nearly melted in my mouth—and the potatoes were buttery, not overly seasoned with garlic. It was perfection.

Once again, her cheeks flushed pink. "Thank you. No one has ever really made a big deal over it."

"Well, they're all insane. Fuckin' perfection, baby."

"I, um, I really like that, you know."

"What?"

"When you call me baby. It makes me feel special. It makes me want to cook you a thousand meals just to see your reaction and to hear you say it."

My heart warmed at her words. I wasn't sure I had ever made someone feel like that before. "You are special, Bella. And I won't stop you, but, baby, you don't need to cook for me to hear it."

With the way she smiled at me, I hoped I'd get to tell her what she meant to me for the rest of our lives.

What are your thoughts?

He's slowly, on his terms starting to let her in. Its a scary thing to let someone see the real you.