Chapter 15

EPOV

I sat up in bed, panting as I tried to catch my breath. It had been years since I'd had a dream like that. I shut my eyes tightly, hoping the images would fade, but they didn't. They were burned into my brain, and I didn't know how long it would take for them to subside, if ever.

It wasn't as if I ever forgot the nightmare, it just wasn't always at the forefront of my mind. His face wasn't always staring at me on a day-to-day basis anymore. But it would be for the foreseeable future until I could shove it away again.

I glanced at the clock. It was only four in the morning, Goddammit. I sat up as I threw the covers off of me, pressing my feet against the cold wood flooring. Resting my elbows on my knees, I held my head in my hands, pulling at my hair. I was sick of this. I was sick of being controlled by someone who didn't deserve to lick the shit off of my shoes.

"Fuck!" I yelled. "God fucking dammit." I could feel the tears trailing down my cheeks. Here I was, thinking being with Bella would be some sort of cure-all. As if she could slay the monsters that lived under my bed. But she couldn't. And to be honest, I wasn't sure anything could.

Roughly, I wiped at my face before I rose to my feet, walking into the kitchen.A this point, trying to go back to sleep was pointless. I turned on the coffee pot—since it wasn't due to start for another four fucking hours. All I wanted to do was hide, but I didn't have that option, not with rent and all of my other bills due. I didn't have the luxury of stopping.

So, instead, I dragged my ass to do everything I would have rushed to do if I'd woken up when my alarm went off. This was going to be a long fucking day.

—SB—

"Whoa, you look like you've been hit by a bus, my man."

I didn't answer, instead I just glared in Peter's direction—which in hindsight was a bad idea.

His eyes heated as his jaw clenched. "You've got appointments today, Cullen. If this attitude stays, Seth, Paul, and Sam are all available. You got me? We're buddies, but I won't have you disrespecting me or my customers."

"It won't be a problem."

"Listen, if you fuck up somehow with a customer, fine. We all have. But you fuck up because of a shitty mood? That's where we'll have a problem. We'll always be buds, but you won't have a job with me."

I rubbed the back of my neck, taking a deep breath. I wished I had the balls to just come out and say what was bothering me. But it terrified me to think of what would happen if I released it. What havoc would it cause for me? So, instead I swallowed it down, taking his chastisement. "I got it, man."

He gave me a quick nod. "Good. Now, go help Paul set up."

—SB—

I was finishing cleaning up my station when Seth came over, clapping me on the shoulder. "Hey, you got a visitor."

"All right, thanks, man."

As I walked up front, I saw her. Her back was to me as she occupied herself with the art hung on the walls. I stood there for a moment, taking in the sight of her. I'd put on my best face all day—I wasn't rude, I chatted with people when I was spoken to, but otherwise, I kept to myself. But seeing her long chocolate hair hanging down her back, completely oblivious to my presence, lifted some of my sour mood for a moment.

"Hey," I said as I walked up behind her, tentatively touching her waist.

She startled slightly before turning around. "Hey." She smiled, but it faded slightly as she took in my appearance.

"What are you doing here?" I flinched at the way my words came out.

"Oh, um." She stumbled over her own words, and I felt terrible that I was so obviously making her nervous. "I was on my lunch break and I thought I'd drop by and bring you something as well. Sorry, I didn't—"

I slipped my hand down to hers, twining our fingers together. "No, that sounds great. I just gotta check with Peter first."

"Check what with Peter?" he asked as he walked up front.

"Oh, am I good to take a break? Bella brought me lunch."

"Everything cleaned up?"

"Yeah."

"Then you're good, man. Nice seeing you, Bella." He winked, and she smiled, a light blush on her cheeks. It was enough to stir up something inside of me I didn't like.

"Come on," I grunted, dragging her back to the office.

She unpacked our lunches, handing me mine and taking a seat. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," I barked, taking an angry bite from my burger.

"I'm not doing this."

"Not doing what?"

"I'm not going to sit here and backtrack with you. I asked if you're okay when you're obviously not, so if you don't want to talk to me, I'm not staying here to have you treat me like trash."

"Fine, go back up front and flirt with Peter some more."

Her eyes narrowed, and if she could have, I was sure she would've breathed flames and burned me to a crisp in that moment. "Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are? I wasn't flirting with anyone, and even if I was, you have no claim on me. I don't remember you asking for us to be exclusive, do you? You can either apologize to me and give me a reason for you being such a shithead, or I can go and you can call me when your head isn't up your ass."

I let out a rough breath, my fingers gripping at my hair. Esme was always reminding me to not be an asshole, and here I was, doing exactly that. "Sorry," I mumbled. "I didn't sleep well last night and I've been an asshole all day. But you didn't deserve that."

"No, I didn't. Do you need to talk?"

I swallowed thickly, looking at her. I didn't deserve her. No one else would have let me speak to them the way I spoke to her, hand me my ass, and then ask me if I wanted to talk. She was everything I needed. "Bad dreams, nightmares, really. I don't want to…"

She reached out, resting her hand on my forearm, rubbing circles with her thumb. "You don't have to tell me what they were about. I won't lie and tell you I don't wish you would confide in me, because I do. But I promise you I won't push you."

I nodded. "Thanks."

I loved this girl more than I was probably capable of. One day I'd tell her everything. I'd give her all of me. Every damn dark piece of my soul was already hers anyway, she just didn't know it.

We finished our lunch in comfortable silence, and as she packed up her things to go, something she said earlier popped into my mind. "Hey, Bella?"

She looked over at me. "Hm?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?" It sounded so juvenile when I said it out loud, but I refused to let her leave without knowing she was mine.

She grinned, biting her lip. "Okay."

"Okay, great." I chuckled nervously as I stood with her, walking her up front.

Before she pushed the door open, she turned back to me. She gripped me by my shirt, pulling me in for a passionate kiss. The whole shop erupted with hoots and hollers, and I was having a hard time catching my breath as we broke apart.

"Bye, guys." She waved over my shoulder before she walked out the door, leaving me dumbfounded and with a stupid grin on my face.

"Edward's got a girl." Peter chuckled.

"Shut up, man." But the words fell flat since I was standing there, still smiling like a loon. Maybe this day wasn't a complete waste after all.