A/N: Happy b-day iloveromance156 (June 16)
If you have been waiting for more Demon Bride, wait no longer, here it is! It's part one of two, but it's a long ass-part with no horrible cliffy at the end, so you won't hate me so much by the end, I hope…
Warnings: this is AU and OOC, and even more so because it's also M-Preg! So be afraid, be very afraid!
Demon Parents, Part One: Having a Cow
It had been a month since Batman had first found out about Robin's new civil status and it had been an incredibly dull month for the Titans. They had all believed that the criminals of Jump City would reemerge after the demon lord's little scare, but, as Slade had enforced his claim of protector of Jump a few times since then, the city was ridiculously peaceful. Which was good, of course… unless you were an adrenaline junkie.
The only fun thing for Robin had been to watch 'the wooing of Speedy' but that had only taken another week and then, one morning, the archer had half walked, half hobbled, to the breakfast table with a very wide silly grin on his face. That grin hadn't quite faded yet. The redhead was still slightly ashamed of the fact that he had given in, though, so that was always a source of entertainment.
Other than that, life has begun to settle into sort of an everyday normal routine, which was a strange concept when you were married to another species. Slade had a kingdom to run, after all, and Red X also had his own duties to perform, outside of Speedy's bedroom. Robin had convinced Slade that he didn't need the black demon to be his 'chamber-maid', at least not in this realm. In the demon realm, however, whenever Slade wasn't there, Robin felt much better having the winged demon close, not for his protection, but to simply explain the customs there and what the heck he was looking at.
To be able to come and go as they pleased Slade and Red X had erected permanent portals from Robin's and Speedy's chambers and the teens could pop through as well, any time they felt like it. There was even a portal, down in the basement, leading to Wayne Manor, which Robin absolutely loved, because that meant he could visit Alfred at any time. Bruce had also mellowed down just a tiny bit after the portal was installed as he saw it, rightfully, as a sign that Slade trusted him and didn't actually want to take his ward away.
The couples mostly spent their days separately, the Titans focusing on charity work while the criminals kept their heads down. Speedy, who felt more at home in Jump now and even closer to Robin, had decided to stay, and only used yet another portal to take him to Steel City when he was needed. When your best friend also was hooked up with a demon, you had a lot to talk about, after all. Like the current topic.
"And god, his tongue! Forked or not, it's damn long and thick!" Speedy said as he was lifting weights in the gym, working on his pride and joy; his arms. Robin was sure his friend secretly had named each individual arm muscle.
The black-haired Titan was working on his acrobatics, doing flips, handstands and cartwheels on a long mat. He had been feeling a bit out of sorts lately, with no real missions or crimes to solve.
He now landed neatly on his feet and smirked at his redheaded friend for a second before his eyes grew big and he slapped a hand over his mouth, rushing to the next door bathroom.
"Hey, I feel offended here! You talk about details all the time!" Speedy shouted after him before following. "Hey, bro, are you okay?"
Robin was not okay. He was heaving his guts out. After his stomach was empty, however, he wiped his mouth and, a bit wobbly, got to his feet.
"That was… weird…" he mumbled.
"Um, sorry to tell you, but I think it's a bug… I've been feeling a bit sick for a few days too. Haven't thrown up, but…" the archer suddenly stopped talking and pushed Robin out of the way. A few minutes later two miserable friends looked at each other.
"Well… if the whole house is going down with the stomach flu at least it's a good time to do it…" Robin muttered. "We better warn the others… over the intercom."
"Yeah. Oh… do you think demons can get it? Or maybe this is some kind of demon flu?" Speedy said, his imagination running wild. "What if it's deadly to demons? Or us?"
"It's just a bug," Robin smiled tiredly, "but sure, we better warn them as well… on the other hand, they, if anyone, should have already been infected by now. Ughh... I'm not sure my marriage can withstand a double marathon puking-session this early in…"
"Yeah, takes some of the mystery out of it, doesn't it?" Speedy smirked. "Well, at least it's only coming from one end yet."
"Oh, god, spare me…" Robin groaned.
The poor sick boys decided that shared misery probably was half the misery, and, after warning the others to stay away, they isolated themselves in what had become Robin and Slade's 'apartment': a few rooms which gave the couple a bit more privacy. Speedy and Red X still shared the archer's guest room, but they, on the other hand, had just recently become an item.
As for now the teens were crawled up on the sofa in front of the TV, sipping water and watching random shows, waiting for their lovers to call back. Robin had introduced Slade and Red X to cell phones, and magic had provided one hell of a long distance service, but whenever the demon lord had an audience he turned the phone off. He did check it very regularly, though, and Robin knew it would only be a matter of time before-
"Love ! Where are you?" Two worried demons burst through the door from the hallway where the portal was located. Red X had his wings out and flaring and Slade was bigger than he really should be indoors, both things a sign of worry.
"Don't come too close, we might be contagious!" Robin called out, but the next moment he was swiped up into strong arms and sniffed all over.
"Let me go, dumb ass, do you want to get sick?" Speedy shouted at his own worrier.
"We won't get sick, not even from the common cold, nor the black death," Slade soothed them.
"How about the other way around?" Robin asked, feeling slightly guilty about it.
"No, my love you don't need to fear. And, as you are sick, we'll take care of you."
The heroes glanced at each other and smirked but then Robin sighed.
"We'd love to take full advantage of that, trust me, but as for me, I'm just tired right now. I just want to sit here and vegetate."
The demon's looks were blank but then Red X carefully cleared his throat. "I'm not sure, My Lord, but I think he wants to turn into a potato."
"Is this a symptom? Is there any way to stop it?" Slade exclaimed, looking horrified.
"Slade, angel, it's a figure of speech. It means I just want to relax. A 'couch potato' is someone who prefers to just sit in front of the TV instead of working out or doing other, more productive, things," the hero explained. He had learned to go into detail whenever the demon didn't know what something meant, and Slade always remembered. "I promise I don't plan to turn into a big lump."
The demons drew a collective sigh of relief but then began to fuss again.
"Would you like us to get you anything? Blankets? Food?" Red X asked.
"I wouldn't mind blankets and some pillows actually…" Robin said. "But food… no, not yet."
"Do you know what's wrong with you? You smell a bit… off," Slade said and then looked apologetic. "I didn't mean to offend you."
"No offence taken, I'm sure we can't smell our best," Robin grinned. "It's probably just the flu; we'll be up and about in a few days. But, umm…"
"Yes?"
"Well, there's a big risk that the others will get it as well, and if they do… could you maybe… demon about Jump a little bit again?"
"I thought you forbade me from ever getting involved with your work again?" Slade said, still looking confused whenever that subject was brought up. The demon lord just couldn't understand what was so bad about what he had done, and Robin couldn't explain it either, because it was really a good thing… but it had put him out of work.
"Yes, but if we're all sick… maybe just this once?" the hero said. "But only if the other's get it too!"
"Well, we've been having breakfast with them as usual, so I'd say it's only a matter of time…" Speedy muttered. "Red, seriously, put me down now?"
"My Lord is right, you do smell off…" Red X told him.
"What's with all the sniffing?" the archer demanded to know. "Stop smelling me!"
"But that's one of our primary ways to identify disease and other bodily changes," Slade explained. "It's very efficient, but your physicians have only begun to look into it."
"It's not that you smell bad or anything," Red hurriedly explained as his 'boyfriend' had his 'no sex' face on. "In fact you smell pretty good. But different."
"He's right. You should really smell worse, especially as you claim that this is contagious," Slade told them.
"Well, that's good then, I guess…" Robin said carefully.
"Yeah…" Speedy agreed. "So… what happened to our blankets?"
The teens began to feel better and better, and as the night came they were both pretty sure they were out of the woods. Unfortunately, the next morning proved them wrong.
They again met at the apartment for some mutual sympathy and lounging in front of the TV. Robin called up Cyborg after a while, to see how things were going.
"None of us are sick, at least for real… but you know how it is when there's a bug going around, you just feel sick anyway," the metal teen shrugged.
"Um, yeah, sorry, but we kinda had to tell you," Robin shrugged.
"Nah, if you four had just disappeared, the rest of us would just assume there was a sex marathon going on," Cyborg grinned.
"Yes… well... that would have been better…?" his leader muttered.
"So, how are you feeling, then?"
"I don't know… better but tired," Robin sighed. "Hopefully we'll be back by tomorrow."
But the next day it happened again. And the day after. Almost a week in and Robin was close to just going to the hospital. Again he and Speedy was slumped together on the couch, comparing notes.
"Does Slade sniff you a lot now?" the redhead asked.
"Yeah. He never really used to do that this often before, not so I noticed, anyway… but he claims I smell good… don't know if he's lying…"
"That's what Red says… that I smell good… they are just weird. Maybe being sick turns us into demon cat-nip."
"Yeah. Up for eating anything?"
"I think so… something… salty."
"Yes. Definitely salty," Robin nodded.
"Do you think this will go on for much longer? I mean, it's like every morning!"
"And sometimes during the day…"
"Yeah, but it's worse in the mornings isn't it?" the archer asked.
"Yeah. I'm glad no one else caught it."
"It's like, instead of the 'twenty four hour flu', we got the 'morning-flu'…" Speedy sighed.
"Heh… yeah… like morning sickn-" Robin suddenly stopped talking and stared at his friend. Speedy's eyes had also gone almost impossibly big and round.
"No…" the redhead said. "We couldn't? Right? You said so yourself, it's not possible!"
"It's not. It's absolutely not, but… oh! Maybe it's like… like… pseudo-pregnancy! Like our bodies are confused because of… demon stuff, and thinks they are knocked up?"
"I love how very scientific you get when hysterical…" Speedy snickered nervously. "Demon stuff?"
"I'm not hysterical!" Robin exclaimed somewhat hysterically.
"Me neither!" Speedy confirmed in the same tone of voice.
"Good!"
"Good!"
"Call them!"
"Alright!" Robin took a deep breath and reached for the phone. "Alright. Because it's just ridiculous anyway, so… Okay… it's ringing…"
"Slade, Demon Lord, how may I help you?" a voice answered in the other end.
"Slade, you stupid, blue nitwit, I'm the only one with your number! I told you to just answer 'hello' or something!" Robin barked into the phone.
"Well, I got a phone salesman once…" the demon said, sounding hurt. "Starfire told me about the importance of being polite over the telephone."
"Get your ass here now!" the teen snapped. After an elbow in his side he added, "And Red's too!"
"I suppose that, by that, you mean for all of us come to you and not just our as-"
"That's right! Right NOW!"
"On our way."
It didn't take many moments for the two demons to barge in just like they had the other day.
"Love! Are you worse? What happened?"
"Everybody calm down!" Robin yelled, clearly ignoring his own order. "Slade, Red, sit!"
The demon's behinds hit the floor so fast the room shook.
"I think he meant in a chair or something…" Speedy said. "But never mind," he added after a glance at Robin.
"Okay… Okay… we… we have just realized something and although it's impossible… we have to rule it out, alright?" Robin said, and the demons nodded. "So no one will get excited or freak out or anything, but… how do a demon pregnancy test work?"
The demons got excited and freaked out. But only for about half an hour, because Slade was a demon lord, after all and could control himself. A bit.
"Are you sure?" he asked Robin for the millionth time, and, as usual, the teen gave the same answer.
"No. I'm not. How do we test it?"
Finally Slade took a long deep breath and grabbed the arm of Red, who seemed to be having a conversation with both himself and with Speedy at the same time.
"Fetch Healer Green."
"Yes, My Lord!" the winged creature said and half ran, half flew through the room, knocking things off the walls.
The heroes had long since sank down onto the couch again and were now just staring at each other tiredly.
"The healer-guy is going to tell us that there's nothing to worry about and then everything will go back to normal…" Robin said.
"You promise?"
"Yes."
"Well, there's nothing to worry about," Healer Green, who turned out to be one of those voluptuous demon-women, said after running softly glowing hands over the two teen's stomachs. Her name matched her looks, or the other way around, because everything about the woman was moss green, from skin and hair to eyes and she was dressed in matching robes.
"Oh, good," Robin grinned.
"You are both about three weeks along, and everything is normal."
"Th… th…" Speedy stuttered.
"A-along?" Robin gasped.
"I'm going to be a father!" Red X said and fainted dead.
"Pfft. Winged demons. Always so sensitive," the healer snorted. The thud of Red hitting the floor was immediately followed by a much louder one, however. "And so, it seems, are demon lords," she added thoughtfully. Her eyes returned to the expecting mothers on the couch. They were out cold too. "Your parents, children, are very interesting…" the woman hummed calmly, sitting down to wait.
Robin woke up to someone holding him tenderly and whispering random words of affection in his ear. Then the peace was shattered by a yell of rage.
"YOU BASTARD!" the scream was followed by the sound of flesh hitting flesh, in this case fist hitting cheek. It wasn't Robin who had yelled, however.
"But… my gem, I-"
"You. Knocked. Me. Up. And three weeks? You did it our first time, too?"
"Well, some are just that goo- aaarrggg…"
"Speedy… Speedy, stop strangling Red," Robin muttered tiredly.
"I'll get to you next, you said it wasn't possible!" the archer growled, but let go. "How is this possible!"
"Demons are magical creatures, after all, and, in bonding with them, so, to some extent, becomes the human," Healer Green suddenly spoke up. "Now, demon/human offspring is not that uncommon, I can feel one in this very dwelling."
"Yes, but Raven had a human mother," Robin pointed out. "Look, there are males and females, and two males and two females can't have kids together!"
"Says who?" the Healer said, sounding curious.
"I… I… NATURE?" Robin exclaimed.
"Ah, but even on earth species change their gender, some with age, some if the situation requires them to. Some life forms only need one member to procreate, some are both male and female, some-"
"Yes, yes, but we're not fish or slugs, we're mammals!" Robin tried to explain. "We're both mammals, so why-"
"Demons aren't mammals."
"Wha- wait, what?" Robin blinked.
"We are not mammals, we are demons. We may look and generally act like mammals but that's mostly because it's convenient. Our genetic and magical cores are nothing like yours."
"Mine has wings," Speedy pointed out dumbly.
"So… wait… you are saying that by sleeping with us, Slade and Red made us into demons… and we're turning into women!"
"Not sleeping, bonding," the woman repeated.
"Hey, I wasn't trying to bond, I just wanted some wild, crazy demon-sex!" the archer exclaimed.
"Well, bonded you did," the woman shrugged.
"Of course we did," Red X snorted. "I courted you."
"Oh, god, I knew accepting those stupid flowers would be bad…" Speedy groaned.
"So, we're… pregnant?" Robin tried to clear up.
"Yes," the woman nodded. "But to clear up what you said before: your gender hasn't changed completely, just enough, so you won't lose your… 'maleness' any more than you already have. Also, you are not demons, you will not be able to use magic, your genes have only changed enough to complement the genes of your bonded… make you match better, if you will."
"Love, I know this might seem like a bit too much, but I kept telling you it could happen," Slade said.
"I thought you were just being thick," Robin muttered.
"Well, I wasn't sure, of course, your arguments seemed quite persuasive, but you just have to keep hoping… and keep trying…" the demon leered.
"Okay… Okay…" Speedy said and stood up. "This was fun and all, ha-ha… so… yeah… I want an abortion!"
The room got quiet and in the end Red was the one to speak first.
"You… want to end the pregnancy?"
"Yes! Yes, of course I do!" the archer exclaimed, looking hysterical. "Please tell me there's a way to do that, Healer!"
"It's possible, yes," the woman said softly. "But it is something that you need to think about."
"No! No thinking! Just do it!" Speedy ordered her.
"Not for at least twenty four hours. Take some time. Talk with your bonded."
"Yes, Speedy," Slade said calmly. "You just need some time. Look at Robin, he's shocked, but he's happy, aren't you, love?"
"Actually… I think I want an abortion too…" Robin mumbled.
"So, how is this going to help?" Speedy muttered and glared down at the assortment of snacks on the table. It was two hours later and the friends had locked themselves in the room to talk.
"I don't know, the girls brought it," Robin sighed. "There's ice cream too, if-
"Oh! Ice cream!" the redhead exclaimed and set off for the kitchen.
Soon the teens were sitting facing each other in the opposite corners of the sofa, with one tub of ice cream and a spoon each.
"Well, it helps a bit…" Robin admitted.
"But what do we do when we run out of ice cream?" Speedy asked.
"I don't know… panic again?"
"Yeah…"
"Yeah…"
"So…" the redhead began after swallowing a particularly large scoop of the cold treat. "Let's talk about this, then…"
"Yes, I guess we have to," Robin groaned.
"Slade looked pretty heartbroken when he left…" the archer said.
"So did Red X," Robin had to point out.
"I know! I know, but… having a kid? Me? I'm a guy, and I'm… ME… come on, you can't tell me that's not crazy!"
"I'm not," Robin shrugged. "I'm married to a demon, remember? Crazy is like… normal."
"But I'm not parent material!"
"Who is?"
"Come on, like you said, you're married and you love each other and you're good with kids and-"
"Why are you trying to talk me into keeping the baby?" Robin snapped.
Speedy looked down into his ice cream and dug around in it furiously for a while before answering. "Because I don't want to go through this alone."
The teens just looked at each other for a while.
"It's probably not going to be pleasant…" Robin said slowly.
"Oh, really?" Speedy said sarcastically. "Hey, we don't even know how they are going to come out, do we?"
"They might have two heads or something… oh, please, don't let mine have two heads…" Robin mumbled.
"What if mine has wings? Can you imagine trying to catch a flying baby?"
"You might have to regurgitate food like a bird," Robin grinned.
"Oh, EEEW! Hey, then I hope yours will be born with pointed teeth and you have to breast feed it…"
"Do you think Slade knows how to change diapers?" Robin asked randomly.
"Slade? I'd be lucky if Red and I can figure out which end to put them on!"
"So, it's all stupid and we should have the abortions, right?" Robin nodded.
"Absolutely. We are in no way fit or ready to be parents."
"You're right."
"So…" Speedy said and took a deep breath. "Should be go out and tell the dads to be that they better start a college fund?"
"Lets," Robin grinned nervously.
The decision caused a great roar of approval from the demons, and the rest of the Titans, although still a bit shell-shocked, joined in.
"I think it's time to tell the grandfather-to-be," Slade beamed. He had refused to let go of Robin since the teen announced that they had both decided to keep the children.
"Do we have to?" Robin groaned.
"I…" Slade hesitated. "We don't? Is it common to keep something like this from the family on Earth?"
"No… no, we have to."
"Good, because it would be difficult to explain to him what the celebration was for if we didn't," the demon lord nodded.
"Celebration?" Robin asked.
"Yes, oh, that reminds me… Red X, summon Wintergreen! There will be a Conception Feast tonight! Everyone's invited, of course," he said, gesturing to the room. "And Red X, Speedy, you are now officially family, and shall celebrate beside us."
"Talk about promotion," Red X grinned.
"I am still your Lord," Slade warned him.
"Yes, Sir," the black demon nodded quickly.
"Conception Feast? Really? It really has to be called that?" Robin complained.
"It has always been called that," Slade beamed. "Now… let's go see Dad."
Robin hoped that Bruce wouldn't be home, but he was. He met them in his private study and Alfred joined them with a large tea tray. The old man had, rather unexpectedly, taken to the demon, but Robin wasn't sure if that affection would survive the news.
"Okay, everybody, just… sit down, okay?" the teen said.
"In chairs," Slade specified.
"What's this?" the Dark Knight asked with a chuckle. "Don't tell me you're pregnant?"
"Um…" Robin said.
"I'm confused, does that mean we can't tell him?" Slade asked.
A large tea tray hit the floor.
"Will he be safe? Will he even survive? He's a boy, you bastard! Promise me he will be safe!" Batman had the larger demon pressed up against a wall, and Slade, Robin noticed, looked scared.
"I swear on my own life that he will be!" the lord eventually managed to say through the grip the human man had around his throat. "Male pregnancies with demons have happened before. They are no more dangerous than female ones."
"Some women die!"
"Every Healer in my realm will be available for them both, I-"
"Them both? Robin and the child?"
"No, Bruce, umm… Speedy is knocked up too," Robin admitted. "We're… well, we're both keeping the babies."
"There's an alternative?" the man asked.
"Yes… at least for a few more weeks…" Robin nodded. "Then the baby becomes more sentient, it's magic so strongly connected to my body that anything else but a natural abortion would probably kill me."
"You've talked more with Healer Green, I hear," Slade nodded approvingly.
"Yes, after we kicked you out of the room and before we made up our minds…" Robin smiled.
"So you can still abort it, but you won't?" Bruce clarified.
"That's right," Robin said and met the man's eyes dead on.
After what felt like an eternity, the man nodded. "Good."
"Good? Really?"
"Yes. Because it's your decision. Because you have a choice. Whatever you would have chosen would have been good, because it was up to you," the man said, calmly and then swallowed. "So… I'm going to be a grandfather? At my age? I feel old."
Robin laughed and flew into the man's arms and then into Alfred's. He looked up at the old butler and bit his lip.
"Al? Ummm… how do you feel about all this?"
"I'm bringing down Master Bruce's cot this afternoon!" the man said, beaming. "Don't think you can rattle these old bones for long, Master Richard, I've seen too much. Congratulations!"
"Oh, Alfred!" Robin cried and hugged the man tighter. "But you're not bringing anything down from the attic today, we're all going to a party!"
"Yes, the Con-" Slade began, but the teen gave him a look. "The… Feast…" he finished lamely.
"When is this feast?" Bruce said. "I have a few phone calls to make. Someone in all this is getting away all too easily."
Bruce wouldn't explain what he meant by that, but it became pretty clear when he, in full Batman uniform, walked through the portal into the Tower that evening, closely followed by Green Arrow.
"Oh, SHIT," Speedy whispered.
"Who is that man? I'll protect you!" Red X exclaimed and, wings flaring, stood in front of his lover.
"No, he's not a threat," the human redhead explain, "He's… Red X, meet my guardian and mentor. Green Arrow."
"Ah, Speedy's father, welcome," Slade rumbled.
"Alright, what's going on, who are the black and the blue guy?" the green-clad hero asked.
"I'm Cyborg," the metal teen smirked.
"You know who I meant! The one with the braid," the blond snorted.
"You haven't told him?" Robin asked Bruce.
"I haven't told him anything," Batman smirked.
"You evil, evil man…" Speedy groaned.
"Roy Harper! Explain yourself! What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself into now?" Green Arrow barked.
Fifteen minute later the man was pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Oookay, let's see if I got this straight… Robin marries a demon, the blue one, the black one comes along, decides he likes you, manages to get you in bed, which, I'm afraid, was probably easy, and knocked you up?"
"Yes. And I'm offended at the easy-part." Speedy muttered.
"Me as well, it took quite a lot of work," Red X agreed.
Oliver Queen just stood there for a few moments and then burst out in a roar of laughter.
"What's so damn funny?" Speedy muttered.
"Roy, I love you, but, really… this couldn't have happened to a more deserving young man," Oliver chuckled.
"Excuse me?" the redhead gasped.
"I've been waiting for you drag home little Speedys, I just didn't expect you to be the one to pop them out," the man still laughed, clutching his stomach. "And don't say I warned you… all those embarrassing talks… well, young mister Casanova, looks like there is such a thing as karma after all, doesn't it?"
"Now I remember why I'm not home much…" the redhead muttered.
"Still, what was your name, Demon?" the older archer asked, suddenly stern.
"Red X… Sir…" Red answered, swallowing nervously.
"You are going to take perfect care of my ward and what I will consider my grandchild or you will find yourself with an exploding arrow in your gut, do I make myself clear?"
"Y-yes Sir!"
"Then I'm sure we'll all get along." the man said and then looked around, rubbing his hands. "Soo… I heard there was a party?"
"I like him," Slade announced approvingly. "And I like his beard."
The Titans had all been invited to the demon realm before, but this was the first time for Batman and Alfred, and, of course, Green Arrow. They were clearly taken aback a bit by the mere size of the halls as well as the colorful inhabitants. Robin had begun to be able to separate different species, but as they all could mix with each other if so inclined, it wasn't always easy. He tried to learn all he could, though, as he felt he was obliged to. Besides, it was fascinating. Red X and Slade helped, but it wasn't always easy to teach someone about your own society, as the most baffling things to a stranger might seem so common to you that you might not even see the need to mention it… like that boulders lying about was probably not a good place to sit as it usually was stone-demons taking a nap. Or that the demons, like humans, also kept pets.
"Hi Felix," Robin grinned as a cat-like creature, its shoulders reaching over the teen's knees, ambled up to them.
"Felix! Buddy!" Beast Boy exclaimed and immediately turned into the cat's copy: very lean with a forked tail and angular head. The hero's coat was green with black stripes and spots however, where the animal's was dark blue.
"Whoever designed that one couldn't make up his mind," Oliver snorted. "Stripes or spots? Let's have both!"
"Do humans design their pets?" Red X asked. "Because ours are born that way."
"He was joking. He's not funny," Speedy muttered.
"Oh, I am… and as I am your future father-in-law, Red, you might want to laugh at my jokes," the blond man smirked.
"Oh… heh…heh…?" the demon managed.
"It was a joke."
"HA-HA-HA!" Red laughed now, rather hysterically.
"Oh, save me from nervous suitors…" the JL-member groaned. "But speaking of that, I hope you plan to make an honest man of my ward? Robin and this Slade are married, why not you?"
"HAH-HAH-HA-"
"That wasn't a joke."
"Oh," the demon glanced as Speedy, who was completely red in the face. "Well, I… uhhh… of course I intended to… ummm…"
"We'll have the ceremony at dinner!" Slade decided. "The occasion is perfect, after all."
"What, we don't get a say?" Speedy asked.
"You don't want to marry me?" Red X wailed.
"Of course I do, idiot!" Speedy snapped, and then noticed that everyone was staring at him. "I mean… ummm… I'm not going to let you get off easy now, right? Leaving me with the kid, and-"
"Kids."
"You're not knocking me up again! From now on it's magical condom all the way!"
"No, but, you know... my species… we always get clutches."
"Clutches?"
"There were seven of us in mine."
"SEVEN! I'M GOING TO GET SEVEN KIDS?"
"Nah, not likely."
"Good!"
"My mom was practically infertile... I mean, single digit clutches? That's nothing!"
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" the young archer yelled and attacked his future husband.
"Speedy! ROY! Calm down!" Robin barked and, with the help of his husband, managed to separate them. "Roy, remember what Healer Green said? The demon genes will adapt to ours, so the kid, or kids, we have won't kill us. Mine won't be as massive as Slade probably was as a baby, and you won't have like twenty! Okay, so maybe you can expect twins or something, but there's no need to panic over that, is there?"
"No, twins run in my family as well," Slade told them.
"Angel, you are very close to getting neutered…" Robin growled.
"My gem, my precious, brilliant, beautiful gem, please don't be mad at me?" Red X begged his lover, from a safe distance of course.
"You are going to marry me, you are going to cater to my every need while I'm pregnant, and by god, you will learn how to change diapers. In fact, if you are anywhere near a dirty diaper, it will be your turn to change it, is that understood?"
"Yes, my gem."
"You realize that I'm going to take full advantage just to boss you around and be a total man-bitch?" Speedy clarified.
"Yes, my gem. And you have every right to."
"Good. As long as that's clear." And then they kissed.
"Those kids are going to have SO much ADHD…" Robin muttered.
In the great hall tables had been set up, with Robin and Slade at the high seats and Speedy and Red X next to them. Robin saw that Batman tried very hard not to gape, but Green Arrow did so freely.
"Woooow… check that chick out…" Robin heard him and followed his line of vision.
"That's our Healer, you don't go anywhere near her!" the teen hissed.
"Sorry for drooling," the blond grinned.
"She's one and a half head taller than you are!"
"And I don't mind at all…"
"I'm telling Black Canary!"
"Oh, damn. Spoil sport," the man muttered.
"Remember, do anything funny with her and you might end up pregnant. I mean, who knows?" Robin grinned, and, but the look of the man's face he knew he had killed any inkling of an idea to flirt with the woman or any other demon.
Slade rose and welcomed everybody, before continuing.
"Tonight I welcome Red X to my family." the black demon rose and bowed. "I also welcome Speedy to my family," Slade continued, and, after a nudge, the archer rose and bowed as well, looking nervous. "I now pronounce them wedded, and, as Speedy is expecting, just like my consort is, they are, of course, already bonded. Wish them well."
A roar of congratulations rose up and the couple bowed once more before sitting down.
"Congrats Mr. and Mr. X," Robin grinned.
"What, wait? That was it?" Speedy said.
"I know, caught me by surprise too," Robin chuckled.
"But… no one said 'I do'?" the archer half objected.
"Lord Slade pronounced us married, my gem," Red X said patiently, "did you think it mattered what we said?"
"Um… yes? But, okay, okay, at least I didn't have to write any vows…"
The food, as usual, was delicious. Robin was stopped from sipping some juice, though, and looked up at Slade questionably.
"You are allergic, remember?" the demon smiled.
"Aller-? Oh, there's alcohol in it? Speedy, stay away from the yellow stuff!" Robin called to his friend. "Humans shouldn't drink anything alcoholic while pregnant," he explained to the demons, who promised to make sure to show them what was safe to drink.
After the dinner Robin was mingling with the others. He happened to bump into Slade's female cousin again, and, as the last time, she was holding her baby boy, who looked like he had grown a bit.
"Hi again! Um, sorry, but I don't think Slade told me your name last time?"
"I'm Yrlia," the woman smiled, her name sounding very strange to the teen, with a rolling 'r'. It was pretty though. "And this is Urli." she said, nodding at the blue-skinned baby, the same color she had, maybe a little lighter. She had black hair, though, while his was copper, and grey eyes where his was completely black.
"Hi Urli," Robin cooed, trying to imitate the sound. The baby made a bubbly sound back. "Um, may I ask…? I'm sorry if this is personal, but why does he only have four fingers on each hand? You have five, and so does Slade…?"
"Oh, those are from his father," the woman said and nodded across the room.
"Who?" Robin asked, as there were quite a few people over there.
"The one in the white robe," she smiled and nodded again. Robin gaped a bit. The man, no, more like creature, in the white robe had huge, curved horns, and, under the robe, cloven hoofs were shown. His face, as he was half turned towards them, was wide and the eyes set far apart. He also had a wide mouth, which, as he spotted his wife and child, lit up in an even broader smile. He waved his hand, which only had three, thick fingers, and nodded. All the reservations Robin had had towards him immediately died as he saw that loving smile.
"He's very handsome," he said, actually being honest. The smile had changed it all.
"Oh, Robin… I'm so glad you see him as I do," Yrlia smiled. "On, and I'm also happy you have a brood-brother."
"A what now?" Robin asked.
"A brood-brother. Speedy. It's not uncommon for friends to become pregnant at the same time. They help each other out. You will probably find that your hormones are in synch."
"Oh, perfect, I thought that only happened to girls…" Robin sighed. "But then again, I thought getting pregnant only happened to girls too."
"Well, if a male demon wants to carry young, he usually change his gender, that is a bit easier," the woman said, sounding like she thought Robin was a bit silly for not doing that.
"Humans are stuck in theirs, I'm afraid," Robin shrugged.
"Oh, you are? Poor things!" Yrlia exclaimed. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know."
"Oh, don't worry about it, I'm learning about demon biology as well… the hard way," the teen grinned.
"There's my beautiful Queen," Slade rumbled as he came up to them, pulling Robin into an embrace.
"Consort, angel," Robin grinned.
"Angel?" Yrlia asked with a chuckle. "Slade? No offence my dear Lord and cousin."
"A pet-name I'm trying out. I quite like it," Robin snickered.
"And I gladly endure it," Slade sighed with a smile. "I can feel you are getting tired."
"You can? But I told you to-"
"Yes. I know. To put up shields so I wouldn't feel anything short of real danger," Slade nodded, "but I lowered them today."
"Why have shields like that at all?" the demon woman asked.
"Robin is a warrior, and, as such, he frequently trains. He got tired of me crashing through the doors for every little bruise."
"A warrior?" Yrlia almost gaped, looking at the teen's small size, especially in comparison to herself. "You must be good."
"One of the best," Robin grinned.
Tired as he was, Robin insisted on making one last round to make sure his friends were okay. They were. Batman was channeling Bruce, who was very good at socializing after all, and they met up with Red X, Speedy and Raven. The young woman had been very scared of coming here the first time, although she hadn't said as much. Robin had known though, and he had also known why; she had been afraid of being shunned, or even hated, for who her father was. The opposite had been true, though, and she had been welcomed almost even more than Robin had been. Now, every time she came here, she all but glowed.
"Hey, Rae, having a good time?" Robin grinned, and burst out laughing at the expression on the woman's face. "Come on, you don't have to look guilty! You're allowed to, you know!"
"Yes, Robin, I know," the empath sighed and rolled her eyes before smiling a little.
"Raven, little sister, you should smile more often," Slade said and bent over to kiss the now blushing girl's hair. The demon lord had already adopted her into his family officially on her first visit, as they actually was related, although distantly. "Now... how can we have you smile more? Ah, I know! A husband!"
"A what?" she squeaked, looking stunned.
"Yes! Nothing like marital bliss," the demon smiled. "Now… who to pick… Beast Boy perhaps? He seems to look at you a lot."
"No!"
"No? Why? Such a powerful ability he has, that would be a true gift to any child of yours."
"Um… BB is a bit too… childish for Rae," Robin whispered.
"Ah… I see. Yes. Maturity, then… Well, as a princess you have to marry well, so if not abilities, then maybe power? And mature… Ah, how about Bruce?"
The look on the woman's face this time was very curious as her pale blue-grey skin went completely pink. Robin gaped. Could it be that she…? Nooo…? He glanced over at Batman who stood quite some way from them, talking to a group of colorful demons. No…? Really? On the other hand, the dark, moody sullen, quiet Goth being drawn to a dark, moody, sullen and quiet man… stranger things had happened. He was married to one, after all.
"Um, angel? You are not marrying any more of my friends tonight, alright? Not unless anyone asks," Robin told his husband sternly.
"Very well. But look around, Raven. Any man, or woman, you want, and I'll do my best to make it happen," Slade nodded.
"Th-thank you," Raven groaned, but if she was thanking Slade or Robin was unclear.
"Wintergreen will provide rooms for everybody, let's go make sure you get some rest now," Slade said and began to usher Robin out of the Hall. "Red X, Speedy might be tired too."
"Oh, of course," the black demon jumped a bit and took his new husband's hand.
"Don't forget it's your wedding night!" Robin called after them, making the demon leer and the archer look slightly apprehensive.
The next morning Robin was again reminded that he was pregnant, but at least now he had someone to curse at while being sick.
"Will it help if I lowered my shields so I could feel your discomfort?" Slade asked. Robin was a second away from telling him to but then shook his head.
"Would just lead to the both of us being sick," he sighed.
Speedy, however, as they moment later, had had no second thoughts about that, because both he and Red X looked a bit green. The archer also now sported a light green tear-drop formed gem on his forehead.
"Pretty," Robin grinned.
"At least it makes him sick when I am," the redhead muttered.
"Don't you think that's a bit mean? I mean… not very, just a bit?"
"Maybe… but he hasn't learned about shields yet. Seems like he flunked out of school or something," Speedy sighed.
"Hey, I heard that! I'm only two hundred and forty two, you know! I'm just not that powerful yet!" the demon objected.
"You're… wow… how old?" his husband gaped.
"He's practically a kid. I'm two thousand five hundred and three," Slade snorted. The humans gaped, and, after a while, the demons seemed to notice. "It's… not too old, is it?" Slade asked.
"Ummm… most humans don't live to be a hundred," Robin told them. "So… um… it's pretty overwhelming…"
"And speaking about pretty, you'll still be pretty when I'm fifty? That's not fair!" Speedy said to Red X.
"As you bonded with us you will age with us," Slade shrugged.
The heroes looked at each other.
"So… we might live for… hundreds of years?"
"Thousands, I'm not gonna die young!" Red snorted.
"Wait… if demons live that long… aren't you terribly over populated?" Robin asked.
"Our realm is vast, close to infinite, and we also travel to other worlds, like Earth. Also, once you have lived for six to ten-thousand years you tend to long for something else and move on," Slade explained.
"Or, if you are a really evil son of a bitch, you'll become a history teacher," Red X muttered.
"Also, we don't have hundreds of children, we're like humans-, we usually stick to what we can handle… well… most species do…" the demon said and gave Red X a look.
"Hey, we winged demons love kids, okay?" the black one defended himself. "Besides, we are kill-ass parents… we almost never misplace any chicks!"
"Chicks?" Speedy groaned.
"Babies. We'll call them babies," Red X, who might have learned something, amended. "Besides, they will be half human, so…"
"And if you 'misplace' ours…" the archer growled.
"I won't! I promise!"
"Good."
"Let's go back to the Tower, I need a morning nap," Robin admitted.
"The teleports aren't dangerous, are they?" Speedy asked.
"No, they are as safe as stepping through a regular doorway," Slade promised.
"Good, because I really need a nap too."
"One thing that's driving me crazy is that I'm not sure what I can do!" Speedy complained to Robin a day later. They were, as had become their habit by now, again crawled up in the sofa. "I mean, can I work out? What if there's an alarm? What can I eat? What can't I eat? What should I eat?" the redhead snorted in irritation.
"I know, I've been doing all this research on human pregnancies, but I'm not sure what applies and not," Robin nodded. "At least Healer Green has promised to look into the matter for us…"
"I think I just might go with 'no fun'... that's the safest route, I think. If it looks like fun; don't do it."
"Heh, yeah, right, for nine months?" Robin asked.
"Or less. Or more," the archer grunted. "We don't even know that!"
"We can't just stay in a bubble all this time, we have work to do, and human mothers-to-be can exercise, so why not us? Sure, no sparring with hits to the stomach, perhaps, but come on, we can go for a run or something right?"
"Yeah, sure we can… although… do we have to right now?" Speedy asked, wriggling his toes under the blanket.
"Nah… not right now…" Robin agreed with a lazy smile.
"We're gonna get so fat…" Speedy chuckled.
"Yes, seemed I lied to Slade. I'm gonna turn into a big lump after all," Robin chuckled as well. Then they looked at each other, and, as one, threw their blankets off.
"Ten laps and some weights?" Speedy said.
"Sounds good to me," Robin nodded.
"Dude, finally! We thought you were nesting in there!" Beast Boy exclaimed as Robin and Speedy walked into the kitchen an hour later, newly showered after their workout.
"Yeah, sorry about that… we kinda needed some time to… brood…" Robin grinned.
"Hey, we're not blaming you here," Cy said and held up his hands. "I'd lock myself in a room too, if it was me."
"It can be you. Want us to introduce you to someone?"
"Hell, no!" the teen grinned.
"Yes, well, the offer still stands," Robin grinned back. "Okay, team, so what's on the agenda for today?"
"Well, the major villains might have more or less left town, but that doesn't mean people stop being people… the police asked for help on a suspected homicide," Cyborg told them.
"Finally! I mean… sorry, but I really need something to take my mind off a certain bun in the oven," Robin shrugged apologetically.
"Just try to be less enthusiastic on the crime scene, will you?" Raven said dryly.
Before they knew it the second month of pregnancy was upon them, and, finally, Healer Green had made an appearance to, hopefully, explain some things. The two sets of future parents sat nervously in the sofa while the woman stood in front of them.
"You may begin asking your questions," she said.
"How long are we going to be pregnant?" Robin asked.
"For you, I am pretty sure it will be nine month or around there," the Healer said. "Speedy, on the other hand will lay his eggs in about five months from now.
"EGGS?" the archer exclaimed.
"Winged, remember?" Red whispered, fluttering one of his own a little.
"Umm… But I won't have… eggs?" Robin asked, to be sure.
"No, you will birth a fully formed baby. With winged demons, their bones are so brittle before they are born that they need the shell for extra protection," the woman explain. "Also, they have big lungs to be able to take up large amounts of oxygen while flying, and they can breathe through the egg, making sure their lungs are more developed once they hatch."
"And… how long before they hatch, then?" Robin asked as Speedy seemed a bit too stunned to think of any questions.
"Three months, so, all in all, nine months as well."
"About the birthing-part…" Speedy asked. "Or egg-laying part… ummm… how big are we talking here? Please say chicken-size? Please, please, please?"
"About ostrich, but longer, is the norm among demons. Your body will adapt to be able to handle it."
"That's… that's… oh, god, that's BIG!" Speedy gaped.
"As I said, your body will adapt. It is already doing so. Really, I don't understand why you worry; your children will not kill you," the Healer snorted.
"Um… how big will the baby be?" Robin asked and the woman rolled her eyes.
"What did I just tell you, boy?"
"That I'll be able to handle it, but, come on! I think you really give us too much credit here!"
"Shhh…" Slade said and pulled him close. "Trust her. If she's wrong, I'll personally behead her."
"Yeah, that makes me feel so much better…" the teen muttered.
"I might need to add that it won't be painless," the Healer now said, looking a bit nervous.
"A-HA!" Speedy exclaimed and pointed accusingly at her. "Off with her head!"
"Speedy, shut up, no one is beheading anyone. We know it will hurt, but come on! We're guys!" Robin snorted. "We can handle it."
The demon woman looked like she wanted to say something but then, very firmly, closed her lips again.
"So, okay… how about sex?" the archer asked. "I mean… can we have some? Later, that is?"
"As long as you are comfortable. Your body will protect your young," Healer Green said.
"Okay, so when can we find out if it's a boy or a girl, then?" Robin asked. "Um, if you want to find out?" he asked Slade. Now, however, the demons looked a bit blank.
"Boy or girl?" Slade said. "Before they are born?"
"Um, yeah? They can see it quite early now, can't they?" Robin asked.
"Well, I guess it depends on when they decide what they want to be…" Slade said and scratched his beard.
Robin laughed and turned to the Healer.
"Please explain to my husband that it's not up to the baby?" he grinned.
"Of course it's up to the baby; it's the baby's gender," Healer Green said.
"Um… what?" Robin gaped, and Speedy looked equally confused.
"Some children decide in the womb, some later, up to a year after birth. And then Demons generally can change their sex one more time during puberty," the woman explained. "And, with more difficulty, later in life if it's necessary."
"Umm… but… but… Urli is a boy? Right?"
"Yes, my family line tends to make up our minds early," Slade said and sounded like it was something to be proud of. "But, as the Healer says, he can still change his mind in his teens if he chooses to."
"That must be… confusing…" Speedy mumbled.
"So the kid might be born without any gender? At all? What the hell do we name it in that case?" the black haired teen asked. "Or do the babies decide their names as well?"
"Of course not, don't be silly, they can't talk, after all…" Slade chuckled. "But the parents usually ask them anyway… it's only polite."
"Fine… well… that's just short of eight months away, so I'll deal with that weirdness when I get to it," Robin decided. "What else can we expect during the pregnancy then? Something we should worry about?"
"Oh, I think you will be just fine," the Healer said. "After all, you're guys." Something about her tone of voice and her smile made Robin swallow.
"If you are so worried about what your kids might look like, why don't you just take Red along and visit with some of his people?" Robin asked as Speedy had been ranting about something silly like beaks for a while.
"Can't. He's kinda… persona non grata." Speedy complained. "He's a thief, his title is Soul Thief, and-"
"Soul Thief?" Robin said, looking worried. "I know he 'stole' me, but-"
"It's not as bad as that, I mean, Slade isn't the devil, now is he? It's just an honorary title, of sorts, for someone who can steal anything. "Shadow Thief" is another one. Apparently this is a big deal in some other clans, but the winged demons look down on it, so he broke with his family in his teens… even now, working for Slade, he doesn't want to go back."
"Oh… well… he doesn't look weird, even with wings… how the heck does he fold them like that, anyway? They just look like some cape or something when he's not flying."
"Well, they are boneless, sort off. He expands and move them with magic… in bed they make a rather nice extra blanket…"
"Um… yeaaah… I'm glad mine doesn't have big flaps of skin on his back…" Robin grinned teasingly.
"Well, yours is blue, what if your kid comes out striped? Or pink? Really, really Barbie-pink?"
"Baby demon tanning lotion. I'm sure there has to be some," Robin snickered. "And you? A ginger and a black-skinned demon? Hello zebra-babies!"
"Zebra babies with red hair… oh, god, they are going to get teased at school, aren't they?"
"Not f Slade and Red X show up at the PTA-meetings," Robin smirked.
"Oh, god, can you picture that?"
"I demand that," Robin nodded. "My kid might be half demon, but I'll be damned if I'll let him miss out on his right to an education. Or she. Or it. And Slade is soooo going to help out."
"Robin? Umm… what about the other thing they told us… that we are going to live longer?" Speedy asked next, suddenly serious. "Have you thought about that?"
"Yeah… it's scary. I mean, being with Slade is great, but we're going to lose everyone else. I'm so glad I'll have you, though," Robin said softly.
"Likewise."
"I think that maybe, sooner or later, I'll move to the Demon realm," Robin continued.
"Really?"
"Yeah… I mean, it will be easier there… or I wouldn't be able to make any new friends, knowing I'll just have to watch them grow old and die… making demon friends, who will live as long as we will… that makes more sense, right?"
"Yeah… it does… Have you told the others?"
"No, and I won't, not until it becomes obvious, I think… I've asked them to accept enough, it feels like… I don't want to risk drifting further apart from them."
"Then I won't say anything either. We should talk to our boys though, because they might let it slip."
"Yup…" Robin nodded. He sighed and then raised his head. "No, enough depressing thoughts! Let's go catch some bad guys!"
"You mean like a litterer?"
"That will do!" Robin grinned. Come on, let's get the gang together!"
"Um. Robin? Forgive me, but would you not awaken, please?" Starfire said softly and her leader groggily opened his eyes.
"Huh?"
"Aren't we gonna go catch some baddies, man?" Cyborg asked.
"Yeah, dude, you two storm in here, all 'get your things together, we're going on patrol!' and when we come back, you both are asleep on the couch!" Beast Boy said sounding upset. "And I was about to beat Cy on the new level!"
"Were not, squirt," Cy snorted. "But seriously, you got one boot on and then took a nap?"
"Ummm…" Robin said and glanced at Speedy sheepishly, getting the same kind of look back. "Sorry?"
"Bro, we have to check if narcolepsy is a pregnancy symptom," Speedy muttered.
"Actually we should… but not now. We said we'd patrol and we'll patrol!" Robin said decisively and stood up. He sat down again very quickly. "Just as soon as my head stops spinning."
"When I said 'patrol' did I say anything about the mall?" Robin asked Speedy a little later.
"Nope."
"And did I say anything about the kid department store in particular?"
"Nope."
"So how did we end up here?"
"Those two," the archer said grimly and nodded at Starfire and Raven, who were making awing noises over little socks. Well, Starfire mostly, but the empath wasn't far behind.
"Okay, let's make a promise to each other that we won't end up like them, alright?" Robin said.
"Promise. Oh, look! How tiny are those jeans?"
"Awww!" Robin smiled before slapping a hand over his mouth. "Fuck!"
"Don't swear in front of my kids," Speedy snapped but then grinned. "Look at all this stuff, do you think we're going to need all this?"
"If we do I think I might have to find a job…" Robin muttered. "Is this for carrying the kid around in?"
"Yeah, I think you kinda strap it to your chest or something?" the archer said, looking at the instructions. "I'll just need pieces of string for mine… gonna walk around with them like a bunch of balloons."
"Even if they do have wings they probably won't be able to fly right away. Have you even asked Red about that?"
"Nope… there are just so many questions that I tend to forget about them when I meet them and then we have sex and I fall asleep. What a life," the redhead sighed.
"Yeah, it's great, isn't it?" Robin grinned. "God, have you seen the price of this stroller? Now I know what to go with that big-ass diamond I we got as a wedding present…"
"Uuugh, I can't really see myself as the stroller-type…" Speedy muttered.
"I can't see myself as the pink changing table kinda of guy," Robin snorted and turned away from it. "I really hope it's a boy."
"You're allowed to do that?"
"What?"
"Well… I was thinking about that the other day, and I kinda feel guilty… I mean I'd love boys too, just because I have no effing idea what to do with a girl… Ewww… that sounded so wrong… but, you know… hair? Dresses? The talk? It's so much easier with boys! But if I get all girls, it's not like I get disappointed! I'll panic, but… you know…"
"I get it, and I wouldn't mind a girl either… Slade would have to do her hair, though; he has long hair so he should know how…" Robin mused.
"Heh, I'd like to see that…"
"Me too. Check this out… and overnight bag!"
"Wow, it's big enough to tent in," Speedy chuckled.
"Yes, well, if all these things have to fit…" Robin said, gesturing to the whole store.
They all left a while later, Robin and Speedy guiltily having bought a pair of booties each, and being very embarrassed about it.
"It's worse than buying condoms…" the archer complained.
"How would you know? If you had bought some, you wouldn't be in this situation," Robin smirked.
"Right back at you, bro."
"Right. Sorry."
The rest of the team, especially Starfire, was ladled with quite a lot of little boxes, but wouldn't tell them what she had bought, as it was to be a surprise.
"Thanks, Star, but remember, it's early days yet… let's save some for when they get here, alright?" Robin smiled.
"Get it away from us!" Robin roared.
"But… it's pizza?" Beast Boy said, sounding confused. "You said you wanted-?"
"GET IT AWAY!" Speedy agreed very loudly. "Are you trying to kill us!"
"Oh, god, the stink…" Robin groaned, sliding a window open.
"What's worse?" Cyborg asked. "The cheese? The salami? The olives?"
"The bread," they both answered as one.
"Bread?
"Yeah, I can't even stand the thought of- excuse me," Robin said and ran out.
"Me too," Speedy said and joined him, hand over mouth.
A second later Slade and Red rushed through the door, but that sight was so common for the Titans now that they didn't even raise one eyebrow between them.
"What did you do?" Red yelled.
"They smelled bread, and that was, apparently, not good," Cyborg sighed.
"Rid the house of it! Right now!" Slade demanded.
"Working on it, Sir!" Beast Boy mumbled, his mouth full of pizza.
"Thank you. And you, why aren't you helping?" the demon asked, glaring at the rest of the team.
"We'll get right to it," Cyborg muttered.
"Isn't it strange that they both suddenly hate bread?" Raven asked.
"No, brood-brothers or sisters usually have the same likes and dislikes," Slade explained. "It helps, trust me."
"Yeah, well… have to take your word for it on that one," Cyborg said. "Shouldn't you go make sure that they are alright?"
The two demons seemed to listen to something no one else could hear and then smiled.
"There're asleep."
"I think I'm showing," Speedy said in the middle of the second month. He was lifting his shirt up and stroking his stomach.
"Huh? Oh, god, yes you are!" Robin said, looking up from the 3D puzzle Slade had given him to keep him occupied. "Wow… can I feel?"
"Okay… feels all lumpy though… is it supposed to?"
"How should I know?" Robin asked as he gingerly touched his friend's skin. "But I suppose, since you are having eggs?"
"Looks like I've just gotten a bigger six-pack," the archer grinned.
"More like a botched six-pack job," Robin grinned but then began to blink tears away.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Speedy asked, as his brood-brother's emotions got to him as well.
"I wanna show too!" the leader of the Titans sobbed. "It's not fair that it's only you!"
"I don't want to get fat when you're not!" Speedy began to blubber as well.
When it was all over the two of them were really grateful that no one had been around to see them.
The last of the second month and the beginning of third had Slade and Red X acting strange, insisting on eating large amounts of raw meat, for example. They were also touchier around strangers, and Robin had to absolutely forbid the demons to go into the city before they could control themselves. Apparently it was some sort of 'getting ready to defend the young'-thing, and it was driving the poor Titans mad. What was worse, tough was that their leader and their team-mate weren't that predictable either.
"You can't all be hormonal at the same time!" Cyborg exclaimed.
"Who's hormonal!" Robin barked back. "Slade, kill him! No, wait! Slade, you idiot, don't listen to me, I'm hormonal!"
All in all, life in the Tower was often a bit loud, and poor Raven fled to the demon realm on occasion just to be able to meditate in peace. Speedy and Robin spent time there as well, but they both seemed drawn to the sun for some reason, and, even more so, to Starfire's cooking.
"I love these purple things," Speedy mumbled around a mouthful.
"Mmm… green wriggly things for me…" Robin almost moaned in delight. "Star, is there any more?"
"My friends… those treats were for Silky," the alien said, coming as close to complaining as she could.
"We're not wasting anything like this on the worm," the archer snorted. "Make some more? Please?" he asked.
"Please?" Robin echoed.
The nausea has finally given up, but the need to pee was now disturbing the teen's nights instead.
"I'm thinking of just getting a cushioned toilet-seat and sleep there," Speedy told Robin.
"I had Slade carry me last night. I was just so tired," his friend replied and yawned. "Nap?"
"Nap."
"Come on then, fatso," Robin grinned.
"Hey, you're one to talk," Speedy grinned. The archer was much bigger than Robin but the black haired teen's stomach had begun to swell as well. No more lean six-pack action down there anymore. Speedy had had to switch to roomier t-shirts though, both having put their uniforms on the shelf for now, and his stomach looked, frankly, kinda weird.
"Come on lumps, let's go take a nap," the archer told his unborn babies and patted the bumps. It was rather hard to tell how many there were and they did move around a little, but it was clear that there was more than two. Speedy, who of course was the one who felt them them best, thought there were four. Robin had voted for eight, just to tease his friend.
"Don't be mean to them, they can't help if they are lumpy," Robin snickered. "Have you thought of names yet, by the way?"
"Nah… I suggested Huey, Dewey, and Louie the other day, but Red actually thought it was a good idea."
"But if there are four?"
"Huey, Dewey, and Louie… and Bob."
"Yeah… I'm calling child services," Robin snickered.
"You then? 'Slade Junior', perhaps? 'Francis Prince of the Demon Realm'?"
"Don't think so, no," the Titan leader snorted. "But at least I only have to come up with one."
"You don't know that yet, do you?" Red smirked.
"Nah… feels like one," Robin shrugged. "Maybe we should ask about magic ultra sounds or something?"
"Already did. Healer Green was all like 'wait and see'."
"I don't like her."
"Know the feel. Anyway, apparently magical babies are sensitive to being prodded and stuff, unless it's family…. and come on, I'm not gonna let Red do it."
"No, not after what he did to the coffee maker," Robin nodded. "I miss that coffee maker."
"Well, we still have the big burn-mark on the wall after it?" the redhead said.
"Yes, there is that… well, he's better with electronic things now. Slade just snorts at them. I tried to get him to surf the web, but then I found him editing demon articles on Wikipedia… He got upset when he got suspended for trolling."
"At least he didn't create a Facebook account to post pics of your stomach around the clock," Speedy shrugged.
"Nah, I would have had to chop off his hands if he did. Magical lube fingers or not," Robin sighed.
"Speaking of those, have they gotten any use lately?"
"Hell, no, I feel as sexy as a smashed squid, and I'm tired to. He can touch himself," Robin muttered.
"Same here. But I'll give him a BJ now and then as long as he brings me ice cream."
"Yes, well, of course," Robin shrugged. "He'd probably destroy the planet or something if I didn't."
"Can't have that."
"No, not until I find out how this season of Dexter ends." Robin nodded, having his priorities straight.
The fourth month brought hunger. Insatiable hunger. Robin felt like he was snacking around the clock and it still wasn't enough. His stomach, or as the others called it; his 'baby bump' grew steadily, while Speedy's was keeping well ahead. When the fifth months began the archer complained that he couldn't see his feet anymore.
"Your feet? How the hell find your dick to pee?" Robin snickered.
"I. Sit. Down, " the redhead muttered. "Oh, god, one more month of this… I deserve a fucking medal!"
"Mmm… fucking…" Robin purred.
"Stop being horny! It's not natural!" his friend snapped.
"I just am! I feel absolutely great, and- Oh!"
"What?"
"Oh… I… I think… I think the baby just moved!" Robin got up, wearing a slightly flared mommy-shirt, and hurried to the portal. "Wintergreen?" he called, just sticking his head inside, and the strange demon servant just appeared around the corner like he always did.
"Yes, My Lord?"
"Oh, I'm Robin, how many times…oh, well, would you tell Slade that if he wants to feel his scion move, he should drop what he's doing and come to the common room.
Robin and Speedy had barely made it into the room themselves before Slade showed up.
"The child?" he asked, out of breath.
"Felt him kick, yeah!" Robin grinned. "Or she… or them… screw it, he still feels like a boy!"
"May I?" the demon asked, like he suddenly needed permission.
"You put him there, so yeah," Robin grinned. There were a few minutes of waiting, and then the tiniest of flutter against the demon's palm made his face crack into a very toothy smile.
"That's my boy," he purred.
"Hey, you can't be doing it too; we're putting gender pressure on him!" Robin laughed. Next in line to feel was… everybody.
"I wish I could feel mine…" Speedy sighed.
"Well, you can feel them move a bit… it's just that they are like… packed better," Robin tried to comfort him. "Remember? The membranes which will become the shell are really thick. Besides, they will develop a lot once they are… umm… laid, as well."
"Red told me that it's good that you can't feel them, because… not all eggs hatch," the archer said silently.
"Don't say that! That's just for those who get like a dozen! Yours will hatch!" Robin exclaimed and hugged his friend as hard as he dared.
"You sure?"
"What, you don't think Red had enough spunk for four?" Robin grinned, making Speedy laugh.
"You're right, it would be his fault, right?" the archer smirked.
"Hey!" the soul thief, who had just joined the group, snorted. "Mine is obviously enough, but if Slade's only was enough for one…"
His Lord growled.
"Joke! Just a little joke! See, Robin's laughing!" Red said hurriedly.
"Why couldn't I have knocked you up?" Speedy muttered to his husband.
"Because you're human?" the demon answered.
"Good."
"Good? Really?"
"Yes, because that means we've found the demon version of safe sex," the archer leered. "I'm exclusively on top from not on."
"Hey, Slade…?" Robin asked, arching an eyebrow at his demon.
"No."
The end of the sixth month, and the time for Speedy to deliver, was spent with the archer not moving much at all. Robin was feeling more than a little heavy as well, and joined him on the couch more often than not. Raven visited regularly as well, and spent most of her time talking with the kids.
"Yes, your parents are very silly, but don't worry, the rest of us will keep an eye on you," the woman claimed talking to Speedy's stomach.
"They did not just say that!" the redhead objected. "Okay that you can feel their magic, but you can't talk to them!"
"Ignore your mum, he's jealous," the woman said. "And no, don't worry, you won't be omelets. You mum just likes to say that when he can't get up from the sofa."
"No, that was your daddy, when he discovered that your mum is as loose as cute little nineteen-year old after a year in prison," Speedy said sweetly, patting his stomach.
"To. Much. Information," Raven groaned. "I think I need to go pour something hot into my ears for a while," she added. "Just one more thing… they are getting restless…"
"Who isn't?" the redhead muttered. "Thanks Rae. See you later."
After the woman left Robin cleared his throat and looked embarrassed.
"Umm… so… is it true? Are you really… ummm… changing… down there?"
"Yeah, and the lumps have gotten harder lately so I think it's time soon."
"Um, but… what about… taking care of business? I mean, if you're…"
"Have you seen me eating lately?" the teen muttered sullenly.
Robin blinked. He was usually very good at making observations, but this he had missed completely.
"No… no, just drinking a lot of juice…"
"Exactly."
"Oh. But… aren't you hungry?"
"Nope. Four days ago all that just turned off and then… well… as I said… pretty boy in prison..."
"Oh. I wonder if that will happen to me as well…"
"You better hope it does! Your baby's head will be almost as big as one of my eggs after all."
"Yeah… I'm thinking no more sex after this…" Robin muttered.
"I'm thinking no more bottoming after this," Speedy smirked and then glanced at his friend who was squirming a bit on the couch. "And you're thinking of sex right now, aren't you?"
"…yes…"
"How can you STILL be horny!"
"It's not my fault!"
"Fine, go make your booty-call and tell Red to get here as well… Feels like I need him."
"What? Are… are you?"
"No, but just get him here, okay?" Speedy snapped.
Robin opened his mouth, not used to that tone from his brood-brother, but then got up.
"Okay… I'll get him right now."
He didn't have to, however, because Red just came in, closely followed by a frowning Slade.
"I didn't give you permission to leave right in the-" the white-haired demon begun, but the black one didn't even hear him, he just rushed up to his husband and sniffed him. Robin thought that would be it, but instead Red spun around, flared his wings and snarled.
"Get out!" the demon hissed.
"What? Why? Is… it is, isn't it? It's happening?" Robin said, frozen to the spot.
"GET OUT!"
"But… Speedy? Don't you want us to… help? Healer Green, call Healer Green!" Robin panicked.
"Out, Robin! We'll manage," Speedy barked.
"They need to be left alone," Slade said and grabbed Robin's arm, hauling him out of there.
"I thought I'd be in there with him!" Robin yelled pacing the floor in the common room as fast as he could. "They are all alone! How could they throw us out?"
"Speedy probably didn't think he would feel like that," Raven said calmingly. "In times like this our baser instincts take over. They needed to protect their eggs. Against everyone."
"Robin, could you please stop waddling?" Beast Boy complained. "It's making things worse!"
At that moment a double roar-like scream tore through the Tower.
"No, that's what making it worse!" Robin cried. "What the hell was Red X thinking, why hasn't he been able to raise the shields?"
"I think many women wish their men could feel the pain," Raven actually smirked a bit.
"It helps him to know what Speedy needs and when he needs it. It's not quite as bad for him. I've heard," Slade told them and looked pale.
"Why are you all green in the face," Robin snorted. "Your shield works!"
"For now, yes. Mostly." Slade said and looked away.
"What? It will stop?" Robin gaped. "I don't want you to be in pain!" he then exclaimed and threw himself into the demons arms, as much as he now could. Slade sat down in the sofa and held his young husband close.
"Shhh… everything will be alright…" the big, scary demon whispered, kissing Robin's hair. It would almost be comical, but none of the Titans felt like grinning; they actually felt like they needed a hug too.
"Should we call Green Arrow?" Beast Boy asked.
"No, he might rush in there. We'll wait until it's over," Cyborg decided, as his leader hadn't seemed to have heard the question.
An hour later and everything was quiet. Robin was biting his nails by now, half way to making his fingers bleed. Suddenly the door opened and Red popped his head around it.
"Robin can come in now. Only Robin. We're taking this slow."
Shaking the teen got on his feet. He had faced monsters and criminals and certain death… but this was the scariest thing he'd ever done.
"S-Speedy?" he whispered as he stepped inside. There was a weird smell in the room, not an awful one, but very musky, with a hint of blood. Robin instinctively put a hand on his own stomach as to protect it.
"I'm here," the archer said from the sofa, sounding tired. Only now did Robin realize that his friend had given birth in his and Slade's apartment. If they didn't feel like moving, he and his husband would probably have to move into a guestroom for a while, because he doubted Red would let an alpha-demon like Slade in here without a fight before the hormones had died down.
"So… where are they?" Robin asked, coming closer. "How many?"
"There're right here. All four. Just like I said," the archer said in the softest tone Robin had ever heard him use. He came closer and there, wrapped up in a blanket in Speedy's lap, lay four large, shiny eggs.
"Oh… wow…" Robin mumbled, kneeling by the sofa. He instinctually felt that making himself small would calm the nerves of the nervous daddy-demon who was pacing the room and flaring his wings, obviously convinced that Robin would attack at any moment. "Hello little eggs…" he whispered.
"Didn't feel so damn little…" Speedy muttered, and Robin recognized him again.
"How… how was it?" he asked, more for his own sake than for Speedy's.
"Hm? Oh, it was fine… no problem…." the redhead claimed, busy gazing down at his eggs.
"It didn't sound fine," Robin insisted.
"Hmmm? Oh… Oh, I guess it kinda hurt a bit… Aren't they beautiful, though? My little babies…"
Robin chuckled, realizing that his friend was on some kind of hormone high and was already putting the pain behind him. "Yes, they are. Why are they different colors, though?"
"Red said it depends on what you were eating during the days the shells began to form, and there's nothing to worry about."
"I see… so that one is tomato-sauce, then?" Robin grinned and pointed to the most distinctive egg, which was covered in red splotches.
"Don't mock my eggs," Speedy grinned, but Robin could sense just a bit of bite behind the words. This was obviously not the time.
"They are absolutely gorgeous," the Titan said soothingly. "Is there anything you need? Anything medical? The Healer? Anything at all?"
The new mother looked down at his kneeling friend with a burning intensity in his eyes. "Food. Lots and lots of food."
To Be Continued
A/N: Three months to go for Robin, but you will only have to wait for a little over one month; 28'th of July. Yes, it might seem like a long time, but that's why I didn't leave you with a cliffie! Nice, huh?
I'd like to profoundly thank my facebook Ducklings for helping me with ideas and even whole lines/situations in this story! There are so many things inspired and borrowed from you that I can't really thank you all my name because that would take half an page of "and the inspiration for that came from…. and that word came from…" you know who you are and I hope no one takes offence at not being mentioned by name for once? *hopeful look*
There's, somewhere in that group, a poll about the number of babies Robin will have as well as the gender, and it's NOT written yet, so you can still have a say…;)