October 8

Care of Magical Creatures

Fred has stopped speaking to me, with the exception of the casual "hello" in the hallway or across the breakfast table. I haven't talked to Kates or Alicia about all of this, so they're totally stumped as to Fred's icy treatment. I can't say I've been as affectionate with him as usual, either. I keep seeing Loo Stalker, or shall I say, Hayden in the hallways now, pathetically prancing after Fred as though any minute he'll turn around and confess his undying love for her.

Kates mentioned that she saw Hayden trying to hold Fred's hand as she walked to Muggle Studies, but Fred shrugged her off. This is the only good news of my day, so far.

Fred keeps polite conversation with her, though I can tell he wish she'd just leave him alone. I hate her. Honestly, I've never really hated anyone in my entire life. But I can say that I hate Hayden whatever her last name is. I mean, why couldn't she just accept the fact that Fred didn't want her?

I hate myself, as well, for putting Fred and myself through this. I want to tell him that I'm sorry but I don't know how….And he probably wouldn't listen to me either. Yesterday, I tried to talk to him during potions and he pretended that George was calling him and walked away.

Classes have been going the same as usual. I occasionally let my mind wander off but I'm still intent on getting ace grades as usual….

Hermione, Harry and Ron, I guess, are trying to start up some kind of DADA lessons outside of class. They're supposed to be meeting about it during the Hogsmeade visit, which is tomorrow. It should be interesting to say the least. I think it's a splendid idea, seeing as how Umbridge is firmly against actual hands-on teaching. We've been reading the stupid book for the past month.

Fred's in deep discussion with Lee….I keep trying to catch his eye and at least smile, but he won't even glance in my direction. This is so messed up. Just a few days ago I had this great bloke of a boyfriend that didn't hesitate to admit he was totally, crazy in love with me. And now he won't even look at me.

In the mean time, I can only think…when did falling in love get so bloody complicated?

October 9

Dorms

Today proved yet to be another surprise. I woke up pretty late, around eleven and was greeted with an empty dorm room. After showering and dressing, I headed downstairs and found Katie lounging around with Lee. She immediately tossed me a muffin from her pocket (before picking off the lint, of course), and informed me that I'd just missed breakfast. We were to report to the Great Hall at twelve-thirty, if we had decided to go to Hogsmeade.

Fred was no where to be found and I was only reminded of the stupid drama brewing between us. Honestly, I sometimes wonder what the point is, to love and be loved at all. It only leaves you vulnerable and weak, naked in the spotlight of unwanted attention, stripped down to the bare bones. You love and you lose, you remember and forget, and at the end of the day you're supposed to be completely recovered from all of this?

When Fred and I are together and everything is all right between us, it's heaven. It's perfect. It's the epitome of what every girl wants in a boyfriend. It's what every romantic comedy is spawned from. But when Fred and I are fighting, it's horrible. I feel so lost and so small, like a little child in a darkened street corner.

It's no secret that I'm a perfectionist. Everything has to be in its place and everything has to work out in my benefit. Without this routine organization, I crumble and I fall apart. Whenever we hit a rocky patch, I crumble; my world crashing to my feet.

I used to be one of those arrogant girls that was consumed with a damned sense of foolish pride, boasting and bragging that a girl should never let a guy drag her down or take over her thoughts. But that was when I was still in denial about my feelings for Fred and I was only spewing out words of scorn in hopes of erasing these emotions from my heart.

Now we're older, maybe wiser and I've come to realize that love is precious and you really should hold onto it too tight, or it will float away back to the cloud it came from. But what if I've been holding on too tight?

Katie was reading some fashion magazine and trying to make me take some ridiculous quiz, but when she noticed I wasn't paying attention to her, she had a hint about what was bugging me.

"It's about you and Fred, isn't it?" she demanded.

We were located on the couch positioned in nearly the center of the room. Lee had wandered off to go find George and the common room was relatively quiet.

I nodded, a little embarrassed and a little tired of discussing and analyzing the subject.

"Of course. What else would it be?" I wryly responded.

She sighed, tossing the fashion magazine over her shoulder and nearly knocking out a second year. Of course, we both were too busy with the current situation at hand to rush over and apologize.

"What happened?"

I still hadn't gotten around to informing her about our fall-out. I'm not entirely sure why, either. But I suppose it's because if I had told her and Alicia, it would have made everything more real…and maybe make it seem more childish. You see how crazy my mind works sometimes?

I guess when you fall in love; you're bound to go crazy for awhile….

I sighed; intently studying my Levis for a moment then met her eyes.

"Fred told me that he cheated on me when he was drunk, with Loo Stalker and I freaked out and slapped him. And then he got mad at me because I said I wanted to take a break and stopped speaking to me. It's just a mess Kates, a huge mess. I want to talk to him again but another part of me just wants to strangle him for kissing that girl," I somberly explained.

Katie's eyes widened so much, I thought they would explode out of her head.

"He cheated on you? With Loo Stalker? Ugh, that's low…"

She stopped herself and paused. I snorted.

"Tell me about it," I muttered.

"But Angie, then again, he was drunk. It's not like he willingly did it. It was an accident. Granted, an accident that's pretty hard to forget, but it's excusable," she gently reasoned.

I pondered this over for a moment. True, Fred had been wasted and therefore, committed an act that he normally wouldn't even have dreamed about. But it still hurt…the wound still stung with a smug stinging sensation that's level of intensity would not decrease.

Was I then, guilty of overreacting? But why should I feel guilty when I hadn't done anything at all? I wasn't one to like rocking the boat when it came to just about anything.

It is pretty valid that I have a shorter tolerance for patience than others do but I sincerely tried to do anything in my power to maintain the stability of the relationship between Fred and myself. I guess I felt a tad bit guilty because it was like…what had I done to make him go out and kiss the other girl?

"Do you think I unnecessary freaked out?"

She instantly shook her head, laughing a little.

"No way. You had every right to be angry! If Lee had done something like, I definitely wouldn't have turned the other cheek," she firmly stated.

"Then what the bloody hell should I do, Katie? Honestly, I'm just so confused. Fred won't even look at me so how am I supposed to talk to him?" I shrilly demanded.

Katie laughed.

"Um, look who you're talking to! Aren't I the one that hooked you two up in the first place? Don't you worry your pretty little head, I'll talk to Lee and Leesh and we'll make that idiot talk to you, even if we have to handcuff him to the chair."

I chuckled in spite of my demeanor and nodded.

"You're right. If you and Leesh can't cook something up, then I really am screwed," I replied, with half-hearted teasing.

When there was ten minutes to twelve-thirty, Katie and I headed down to the Great Hall. I figured I'd only need a scarf, since it was relatively mild out and the sweater I was wearing would be sufficient. We met up with George, Alicia and Lee. To my surprise, Fred was there as well. And to make matters worse…he looked even cuter than ever. He was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a burgundy sweater with a scoop neck, which somehow complimented his features. His hair was windblown and wild, his cheeks glowing with a hue similar to a tomato.

We locked eyes and I could feel the regret and anxiety that he radiated. He attempted to offer me a shaky smile, his lips curling ever so slowly into the expression and I only stared at him for a moment, utterly entranced and then swept my attention away.

I later found out from Lee that Fred had been taking out some of his frustration on the Qudditch pitch and was messing about with the bludgers. In the mean time, Katie's eyes darted back and forth between the both of us like lightening during a storm. George kept trying to make jokes in attempt to clear the thick tension but the puns were forced.

After McGonagall had taken a quick head count, we all followed her to the carriages. The girls and I grabbed a carriage and the boys went into a separate one behind us. During the ride, I retold the story concerning Fred and his drunken kiss to Alicia, who gasped with horror.

She pretty much gave me the same advice as Katie and the two promised that during our trip, they wouldn't cease to conjure up plans of reuniting us. We got to Hogsmeade a little before 12:50. We all were to meet back at The Three Broomsticks around 5:30, just in time to get back to the castle and make it to dinner.

The guys wanted to immediately head to Zonko's and Katie preferred to go shopping, so we split up. Since none of us had lunch, we decided to all meet up at Kebler's around 1:30. Kebler's is this cute little sandwich shop, a few yards down the block from Honey Dukes.

Katie dragged us to Simply Enchanting, which is this pricey designer store for women, which recently opened up. The store mainly sells fancy dress robes, the kind a socialite would wear to some fancy ball or dinner party. In addition to dress robes, they sell dress shoes, matching purses, hair accessories and elegant cloaks/capes. She really wanted to buy this purse that basically was her life's savings but I talked her out of it. Honestly, you let Katie loose in a store and she goes out of her mind. It's like a little kid in a candy store.

Next, we went to Quills, Parchment and Things. Katie bought a new set of quills and Alicia purchased a new bottle of ink.

After zipping down to Honey Dukes, we headed to Kebler's. I stepped inside; Katie announced that she'd forgotten her bag at Quills, Parchment and Things. Before I could protest, Alicia had sprinted after her, shouting something about thinking she'd left money behind. Katie told me to snatch a seat so without really thinking too much of it, I went inside anyway.

I found a table for six in the back. The restaurant was pretty crowded, due to the fact many people were barreling in for lunch. I was ordering our drinks when the boys rambled in, in a furry of laughter and jesting. The only one with a bag was George.

Fred appeared to be in a better mood than before. At the sight of me, I swear I caught Lee give off a devious grin. I couldn't really make out what they were saying but before I could blink, George and Lee had excused themselves from Fred and were practically running out the door.

So that had been Katie and Alicia's brilliant plan. Leave Fred and myself alone, in hopes of settling our quarrel.

Fred looked at me and hesitated. I sighed and waved him over, twiddling with the paper place mat in front of me. He stiffly plopped down in a vacant chair across from me, his hair, as usual, covering his eyes. He deeply exhaled, and brushed a few strands of hair out of his eyes.

God, that always gets me. I almost indulged in the reflex of brushing his hair out of his eyes for him.

"Hey," I blankly greeted.

He shifted around in his seat; meeting my eyes for a moment and then letting his vision intently scour the area.

"Where's Katie and Alicia?"

"Katie left her bag at Quills, Parchment and Things and went back to get it. Alicia went too," I informed with a monotone.

Fred raised an eyebrow, allowing a small smirk cross his mouth.

"Funny. Lee said he had his wallet at Zonko's and George went with him," he suspiciously observed.

I smiled.

"I have the feeling we're being set up, don't you?"

He chuckled for a split second.

"I was just thinking the same thing," he admitted.

We both exchanged a smile and then an awkward moment of silence descended upon us. I looked at him and for some reason, blurted out the first thing that popped into my head.

"This is stupid."

Fred looked startled.

"What is?"

I blushed sheepishly.

"This, I mean, fighting. You know I hate fighting with you," I began.

He looked relieved and put his hands on the table.

"Look, Angie. I feel like an idiot for getting pissed off. I just was frustrated that you didn't believe my apology. Because I'd never hurt you intentionally, you know that right? And if I ever do again, by all means, slap me even harder," he offered, tossing out a good-natured grin.

I laughed, placing my right hand over his.

"Fred, a part of me immediately believed that you were sorry. But another part of me just was so shocked and hurt by what you did, that no matter what you said, I could only think that you'd kissed another girl. One of my enemies, to add to it."

He sighed, directing a scowl towards himself.

"I know, I know. It was a big mistake. Something really daft and I wish I could take back. I'm sorry, Angie. I really am. I've been missing you so much…I feel…"

He hesitantly paused and nervously ran a hand through his hair, shooting me a bashful half-smile.

"I guess I've just felt lost without you."

Before he could continue, I briskly hunched over the table and kissed him with all my might. When I pulled back, he chuckled to himself and I tossed out a glimmering smile, feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

"I missed you too," I whispered.

He cocked an eyebrow, grinning devilishly, that old seductively mischievous sparkle flickering with intensity.

"I guess this means we're together again? Like, officially?" he optimistically guessed.

I nodded.

"I hereby retract my statement of separating. Officially," I teased, though serious.

He grinned even broader and grabbed both sides of my face, pulling me to his lips once again.

"Let's make up for lost time, shall we?"

A few minutes later, the gang scurried inside and upon witnessing Fred and my happy dispositions; they let out an enthusiastic cheer. After chatting and finishing our lunch, we headed down to The Hog's Head for the meeting that Hermione and Ron had organized.

The Hog's Head was rather dirty and dusty, compared to The Three Broomsticks. A lot of dodgy looking people were milling about, if you ask me. The boys of course, absolutely fell in love with the setting. What is it with boys and dirt? I guess I'll never know.

Anyway, there was a pretty good turnout. A lot more than I expected. Some of the people were Dean Thomas, Lavender Brown, Cho Chang and Neville Longbottom. The twin's sister, Ginny, showed up as well.

The bar tender nearly had a seizure when Fred strolled up and ordered twenty-five butter beers. Of course, everyone had to pay for his or her own but Fred insisted that he buy mine. I think he was still generating ways to make up for his past, explosive reaction to my declaration of separation.

The entire meeting was basically about Harry giving DADA lessons. Real lessons, mind you. This is of course because Umbridge is a giant toad and is unwilling to teach us anything useful. Everyone seemed rather intent to get started with this as soon as possible, until Hermione dropped the bombshell. She claims that You-Know-Who is back!Great, so in addition to attempting to maintain a relationship with the guy who potentially could be my soul mate and studying my arse off for NEWTS, I have to profusely worry about some wack-job wizard planning on taking over the wizarding world.

Does this get any better or what?

Some people were a little skeptical, especially this annoying blond Hufflepuff boy. I think his name is something Smith. Despite the fact that Harry has informed all of us that he, himself, has seen You-Know-Who with his very own eyes last year, Smith kept jabbering on and appeared to give off the air that he believed that Harry was lying.

I mean, it's no secret that Harry is probably the most talented wizard at Hogwarts. Whereas Hermione is the smartest, Harry really is a natural at magic. I mean, I don't know anyone besides him that can produce a Patronus.

Ron and Fred got particularly fussy when Smith used the word "weasel" during one of his verbal aggressions against Harry. I know I wouldn't have cared if Fred had delivered a sucker punch to Smith's face. I mean honestly, why was he there if he was going to waste the entire time by challenging Harry's motives and accomplishments?

We finally decided that we'd meet once a week in an unused classroom. Obviously, I mentioned a few times that the meetings could not interfere with Quidditch practice. Hermione made everyone sign a sort of attendance sheet and heavily suggested that we don't mention this to anyone. Especially Umbridge.

The gang, (Katie, Lee, George, Fred and Alicia) and myself had no problem signing it. Smith and one of his other Hufflepuff friends were quite antsy when the parchment came to them. I have a hunch that they don't entirely agree with these meetings. I hope that they don't blab about it to anyone.

By the time we'd gotten out of The Hog's Head, it was 3. We had about two hours and thirty minutes to wander around before we had to report to The Three Broomsticks. The boys went off together again and then the three of us girls ended up bumping into them in this popular Quidditch shop. Pretty soon, it was time to meet up at The Three Broomsticks. We all got back just in time for dinner.

After dinner, I headed down to the library to finish up an adequate amount of homework. Fred lumbered down with me. We had picked a spot in the back, behind a few bookshelves. Five other people were scattered about, chatting quietly to one another and frantically scribbling down answers. Fred wasn't really doing homework. He'd brought down this Potions essay that was due three days ago, which I kept badgering him to finish.

He'd written two paragraphs then ceased, so he could fiddle around with something to do with his joke item "business." Most likely inventory count and prices and such. I was translating the last sentence of my Ancient Runes homework but my mind was somewhere else. It was a comment that Hermione had said during the meeting.

"Because Lord Voldemort is back!"

When she'd said it, it had struck me but hadn't really sunk in. Now it was like a sledgehammer to the chest. I knew it shouldn't be something to lose sleep over, seeing as how Hogwarts is like the safest place anyone could be if there ever was an attack. Well, not counting the whole Sirius Black thing. But he's supposedly not such a bad guy, anyway? Right? Haha oh brother.

Anyway, I dropped my quill and gazed up at Fred, who was in deep concentration over a price list.

"Fred?" I quietly wondered.

He didn't look up but I knew he was listening.

"Yes, love?" he sweetly answered, scratching out something on the parchment.

I bit my lip, uneasy.

"Do-do you really think that...You-Know-Who is back? I mean, I believe Harry. I do. I'm just…I don't know. I've heard and read about all the horrible stuff that happened and my parents have told their memories of the experience as well. Is it silly to be worried so soon?"

This really got his attention. He set down his quill and stared back at me, the frown of concentration replaced with a frown of brooding calm.

"No, I wouldn't say it's silly to be worried, love. But I think there's really nothing to worry about, yet. Honestly, don't think too much about it or you'll waste all your time focusing on something unclear and unsure as dense fog. And you know, we're in Hogwarts. We're safe. We really are."

Usually, it's rare for Fred Weasley to have poignant words of wisdom. But when he does, it's a great comfort and relief. It's strange to hear such adult-like lamentations gurgle from the mouth of a nearly seventeen year old who still gets a kick out of pulling pranks on people.

I nodded, forcing out a smile.

"I suppose you're right. Ironic, isn't it that Fred Weasley sounds like such a grown-up?"

He chuckled and shook his head, those dazzling blue eyes of his burning with fervent energy.

"Ironic but actually true. And anyway, fortunately I'm not an adult yet."

I laughed and he was silent for a moment. I studied him and his expression turned intensely somber.

"Besides, if anything ever….did happen, I wouldn't let anyone even touch you. I swear, if anyone hurt you…I'd lose it," he affirmed.

I was deeply touched by his words and like a bumbling idiot; I could only give him an endearing smile, stunned once again by his vocalization of emotions.

An hour and a half later, we were slowly heading back to the common room, hand in hand. I had to walk a little faster than my own usual speed to catch up with his long, lanky strides. His fingers gripped my hand with renewed possession and secure affection, our shoulders gently knocking every now and again. And I looked up at him with eyes drunk with bewildermentand infatuation and felt like the luckiest girl on the planet.

"You amaze me, you know that?" I airily whispered.

He flashed me a proud grin and brushed his lips against my forehead.

"What can I say, I'm just one of a kind," he arrogantly jested.

And though it wasn't a proclamation of eternal love or the sincere words of warmth he'd said in the library, the boyish teasing was a natural part of Fred's nature and it was good enough for me.