Neither Lily nor Remus told anyone about what had happened that night. Embarrassed about the entire situation, they side-stepped each other for the next two days, waiting desperately for Christmas vacation. When it finally did come, they all headed for home, thankful for two weeks of no school work. At the same time, the students all feared for their safety outside of Hogwarts. A much larger than average number of students had signed up to stay at school for the holidays. So far, no one had been killed while at school.
Sirius had, not surprisingly, gone home with James to Godric's Hollow. By the end of the two weeks, Sirius was ready to kill either James Potter or Lily Evans, or maybe both. Even with the news of three more attacks, one on Christmas day, James only wanted to talk about Evans. If he had to hear about "those green eyes" one more time, he was sure he would spill the contents of his stomach all over his best friend. Even Abigail Potter, James' mother, was beginning to make small comments hinting that James should move his interest to a different girl. When he returned to Hogwarts, Sirius had every intention of spending much more time with Moony and getting much more information from Dorcas Meadowes.
When they returned to school, however, Lupin was strangely withdrawn. He seemed awfully nervous around James and even more around Evans. Something was the matter.
"Yeah," Dorcas nodded. "They've been rather awkward in Arithmancy lately." She curled her long legs under her on the floor of the Gryffindor Common Room. She had spread notes from all off her classes all around and was organizing them. Sirius sat in an armchair near her. They were whispering since Lily was studying with Gwen near the fireplace.
"Do you know if anything has happened?" he asked, glancing over at Lily's bent head.
Dorcas shook her head, placing pieces of parchment in the Charms pile. "She was awfully concerned when he didn't show up for his Arithmancy Exam last term. Since then, they've been odd with each other."
"Odd how?" Sirius handed Dorcas an escaping paper he had caught with his foot.
They smiled at each other as she took it. "I don't know," she said. "They just seem really uncomfortable around each other. They're really polite and everything, but they don't really talk any more." She consolidated all of her piles into one. "I'm going to go read," she stood. "Good luck with your mystery."
"It's your mystery too, remember," Sirius said, smiling slightly.
Dorcas chuckled. "I guess it is." And with that she walked to the girl's stairs.
Sirius watched her walk away for a few seconds, considering whether he should just ask Lily what was going on with Remus. He stood; ready to do just this, when Remus entered through the portrait hole. He took one frightened look at Lily and immediately headed for the stairs. Deciding this was a better option, Sirius caught up with his friend at the base of the staircase.
"Hey Moony," he smiled. "How does a late night romp through the castle sound?"
Remus shook his head. "Naw, why don't the three of you go, I'm awfully tired."
"Tired?" Sirius asked as they reached the middle of the stairs. "Or do you just not want to hang out with James?"
"Why wouldn't I want to hang out with James?" he asked rather quickly.
Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. You just seem a little nervous around him lately."
Remus walked up the stairs faster and reaching the top he shrugged. "How am I nervous?"
"Just nervous mate," he clapped a hand on his thin shoulder. "Apparently the same way you're acting around Evans."
A look of pure terror crossed Remus' face and he grabbed Sirius' arm, pulling him into the dormitory. Remus' scared golden eyes scanned the room.
"Merlin Moony," Sirius laughed. "You're acting pretty nervous right now. You remind me of Georgiana Harl.."
"Who told you?" he snapped, eyes blazing.
"Told me what?" Sirius was beginning to really worry about what had happened to Moony. He placed a hand on his shoulder. "You okay, mate?"
"About Lily and me?" Remus demanded.
"Dorcas said you've just been odd around her. That's all." Sirius' forehead tightened in worry as he stared at his friend.
"Who told you?" he repeated, his face screwed up in an expression of anger and fear.
"Told me what?" Sirius shrugged. "I have no idea what you are talking about."
Remus sat down hard on his bed. Nervously, he pushed a thin piece of hair back, his eyes pleading with Sirius. "About her kissing me."
"WHAT?" Sirius exploded in surprise and then froze. "YOU KISSED HER?"
"NO!" Remus shook his head furiously. "She kissed me. It wasn't me. I told her about my "furry little problem" and she just………kissed me."
Sirius had absolutely no idea what to think. He sat on his bed, gaping. "James is going to kill you, mate," he said. Then, loyally, he added, "I'm going to kill you."
"Sirius," Remus was rubbing his forehead vigorously. "I didn't mean for it to happen. Honestly, I had no idea she was going to do that. I didn't want her to. She just did it."
Sirius looked hard at Remus, tortured soul that he was, and frowned. "You know I have to tell him."
Remus nodded sadly. "I figured you'd say that. I'll tell him myself. Just promise you'll be there when I do."
Sirius smiled slightly at the prospect of how James was going to react. He nodded curtly and rubbed his strong chin in disbelief. So, Dorcas Meadowes had been right.
Remus nervously ran his hands up and down his thighs as he waited for James to enter the dormitory with Sirius. Merlin, he had no idea how he was going to say this. Damn Sirius. His nerves finally forced him to stand and pace around the small room. He began imagining how he would give James this information. He'd have to preface it with the fact that he didn't have feelings for Lily; that he hadn't wanted this to happen. Oh shite, James was going to kill him. With that thought, he sat back down, playing with his hands to release the excess energy he was holding.
Suddenly the door opened and there was Sirius and James. Sirius with a somewhat apprehensive look on his face and James looking altogether confused. Remus stood immediately
"Alright, Moony?" he asked, his brow furrowed behind his glasses.
He glanced at Sirius who gestured for him to spill the beans.
"Before I say anything," he began slowly. "I need you to know that I never wanted this to happen. I never did anything to make it happen. It just sort of did."
"What?" James shrugged nonchalantly, sitting on his bed.
Remus continued. "So, the Wednesday before we left on holiday I had just come back from the shack, remember, you three had decided to romp through the forest some more."
James smiled, glancing over at Sirius standing next to his bed, and nodded.
"Well, I came back, and Lily was in the common room." Remus was wringing his hands now and biting his lip. "So, we started talking, you know, and she wanted to know why I had missed the Arithmancy exam."
James had perked up at the mention of Lily and was perched expectantly on the edge of his bed. Remus looked nervously at him and then at Sirius for support.
"So I told her."
"Did you tell her about the rest of us?" James pounced. "Does she know about the map?"
Remus shook his head.
James shrugged. "Then it doesn't really matter, does it? I mean, as long as Evans will keep quiet about it. That's your business if you want to tell her." Then smiling, he added, "actually, now I have something else to talk to her about. Thanks mate."
Remus had turned a faint shade of green. "There's more," he said, and exhaled.
James' face changed and he looked at Remus with his lips pouted in incomprehension.
"She…she…well…" Remus looked back to Sirius who shrugged at him. "She kissed me."
James immediately shot up and within seconds, had Remus pinned to the floor. Sirius grabbed him before the punches began. "Relax mate," he whispered.
"You bastard," James spit, his eyes filled with incalculable anger. "You know how I feel about her."
"I swear man," Remus stood slowly. "I didn't do anything. She kissed me."
"But you let it happen," James growled, fighting against Sirius' longer arms. "You didn't push her away and say; 'What about James?' did you?"
Remus backed up against the nearest bed, Peter's, and shook his head
"You complete arsehole!" he screamed. "You back-stabbing, betraying, disloyal bastard, how could you do that?"
Remus looked at Sirius for support, who was struggling to keep James restrained.
"It's not his fault, James," he said. "Evans kissed him, not the other way around."
James ignored him and glared at Remus like some angry animal.
"Let me go," he finally spat.
"You going to hit him?" Sirius asked.
"No," James said under his breath.
"Honestly?"
"Yeah," James nodded. Sirius let go of him and James roughly ran his hand through his black hair. The furious scowl seemingly immovable from his face, he stormed out of the dormitory.
"We need to talk," Lily approached Remus in the library. He had begun studying down there since he and James had stopped talking three days before.
He nodded in agreement.
An angry "SHHH," made Lily turn her head. Madam Pince was standing there shaking her head at them.
"Come on," Lily whispered. She waited as Remus gathered his things. When he had finished, she lead him to an empty classroom down the corridor.
"So," he smiled awkwardly, leaning against a desk. "Let me guess, this about that night before holidays?"
Lily chuckled uncomfortably. "Listen Remus, I don't know why I reacted like that. I mean, honestly, I never thought I would…. kiss you. It just sort of happened. And I felt awful afterwards." Then, she shook her head, "Not that anyone should feel awful after kissing you. It wasn't you. I just…I just shouldn't have done it."
Remus smiled and then nodded in complete understanding. "It did feel weird."
"Does Potter know?" she asked quietly.
Remus smiled, rather sarcastically. "Oh, he knows. He's not exactly happy with me right about now."
"I'm sorry Remus," she said, dropping her head. "I didn't mean for this to happen. I just wanted you to know that it was totally okay for you to be... what you are; that you're still a "really stand-up bloke." I couldn't think of any other way to convey that. I wish now that I could have."
"It's alright Lily," he said. "James will get over it. The only thing I'm worried about is whether or not this will make things permanently awkward between us."
"I really hope not," Lily bit her lip. "I really like talking to you, Remus, I don't want anything to change, and it won't unless… you do."
He shook his head. "Not at all."
Lily broke out into a real smile, pink gums and all.