NOTE: check to make sure you are logged in if you want a reply to a review! With the new layout it seems that's easy to miss, because I've gotten more "guest" reviews than usual (that's what anonymous reviews are called now, it seems) and I got the feeling a few of them thought they were logged in and that I could see who they were.. .;)

A/N: Happy b-day MyLittleBird (July 12)!

This is a freestanding story inspired by the lyrics to "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" by Cutting Crew, and some parts from the lyrics will appear in the story, so those are not mine. ;) This is also somewhat inspired by something Pri-TheBishounenPuppeteer wrote to me a while back, something about Robin's morals which I will probably expand more on in future stories…

This is SHORT but it's because it's an experimental exploration of a single idea, and, as such, it's very important, at least for me… It could be seen as a prologue to a non-existing story, but works very well as a one-shot too.

No warnings.

Final Mistake

The rain and wind, uncharacteristically cold for Jump City, whipped the lone figure on the rooftop as he was standing staring out across the bay toward the lit-up, warm, Titans Tower. Robin shivered and pulled his cape tighter around himself. He had to go back sometime. They would soon become worried. He had trouble facing his friends, however, especially after last night.

"You'll catch your death out here," a man's voice rang out behind him.

"It's just rain, Slade," Robin told the man, who came up to place his hands on the teen's shoulders. Robin twisted away from the touch.

"Any regrets?" the man asked, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

It had begun months ago, and Robin wasn't even sure with what. A look, perhaps. He remembered an intentional miss from the man's side, a punch sweeping just past his face as he was pinned against a wall, helpless. He had always had questions about Slade, but after that incident he started asking the right ones. Started looking for the right answers. At first he wasn't sure if he wanted to; he didn't want to make it complicated. He was a good guy, Slade was a bad guy, and they fought. That was the world as he liked it, black and white… orange and red. But it seemed the world had changed, the rules had changed, and all without his permission. Maybe without Slade's too, come to think of it. It have become a maelstrom, and like debris caught in one, with time they got near the centre, closer and closer to each other, the world around them spinning faster and faster and then- a kiss.

The hero wanted to say that it was all Slade's fault, that he had initiated it; that Robin himself was only a… victim. But it wasn't true. Because Robin was never a victim, and if he hadn't wanted it, he wouldn't have let it happen. There had been plenty of time to turn away. That night, weeks ago now, but it seemed like years, they had just… met. There was no agenda, there had been no agreement; they were just both suddenly on the same roof. And neither one of them wanted to leave. Slade had taken his mask off, so maybe the man did make the first move after all. His face had still been in the shadows, though, so Robin had come closer, like a moth to the flame, in search of just some answers, finally. He found a few of them that night, but those only created more questions.

Robin had been the one to touch first. The side of Slade's face. Without his gloves. Just to make sure that he was real. And then… Maybe Robin's fingers had been gripping the man's hair, maybe the teen had stood on his toes… but he also remembered the man's arms around him, his hand in his own hair, and then his fingers trailing the edge of Robin's mask.

That had broken the spell. Robin had fled. He wasn't ready to give that much of himself yet, far from ready for the trust that would take. But Slade could wait. Patiently he did just that and the hero couldn't help himself: he came back. Again and again they met. Robin began to trust and he began to crave what Slade offered. Not safety or love or compassion, but danger, and heat and lust. And, because this was the first time, Robin thought those feelings, inspiring a burst of rebellion inside him, were… love. And so, last night…

It had been hot. Not only between them, but the actual weather too, the heat breaking into the thunderstorm they were now standing in the aftermath of. Robin hadn't known it would be 'the night' but he had felt the buildup lately, how reluctantly they both parted after only kisses and caresses. So… Slade had done everything right… he had gone slow, almost like he was holding up a sign saying 'you can stop me anytime' but, at the same time he kept offering a little more, and a little more, and Robin couldn't say no. He didn't want to say no. He wanted Slade. Even as the man peeled his mask away, even as his hands pulled the last piece of clothing from the teen's body, even as he spread his legs, leaving him completely open and vulnerable… Robin didn't want to say no for a second. Slade made it all so easy. So… right.

But afterwards… When the hero had returned home, seen the unknowing smiles on his friend's faces, heard their happy greetings… it was then that he had realized that there was a reason he was keeping this from them. A very simple reason. It wasn't right. It was wrong.

Robin took a deep breath, his lungs filling with the humid, chill air, as the rain kept trying to make the world a clean place again. "Last night… it was a mistake. I should never… I should have just… walked away."

"You wanted it as much as I did," the man snorted.

Robin spun around to face him, discovering that the man had left his mask off, which, actually, made things so much more difficult. "Yes! Yes, I did! I wanted to sleep with you! That doesn't mean it was right!"

"Are you trying to tell me you are disappointed?" the man smirked.

"No."

"Then, what you are complaining about is that you've had satisfying sex? Poor you."

"It's not that it's just… I should never have succumbed to-"

"You should never had lowered yourself so much as to sleep with me?" the man's tone was very dry, almost cold.

Robin looked up at him, trying to read some sort of emotion in that cold eye and stony face, any kind of emotion would do. But there was nothing. "Exactly. I am a hero. I shouldn't fall prey to my own desires, what I want personally comes second."

"And that's the way it has to be?"

"Yes."

"You're wrong."

"No. No, I'm not. And what are you complaining about, Slade? You got what you wanted too! What did you expect? To date me? Oh, let me introduce you to Batman and my friends, that will go well, and then, why don't we move in together? How about a cute little house in the suburbs? You can set up a man-hunt office in the basement, and I can teach the neighborhood kids about looking both ways before crossing the street."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Am I? Then what is it? You want to fuck me a few more times, is that it?" Robin asked. He wasn't even very upset anymore, just resigned. "So that's what I get from you? A few more nights? I'm just another name on your list, Slade, you are not interested in giving anything here, just taking. So no. It was a mistake. We both know it. Let's just… let's just leave it behind us."

"Martyr."

"What?"

"You sacrifice what you want, what you need, for some cause? It doesn't suit you, Robin."

"It's funny you should say that, Slade," the teen mumbled.

"Why?"

"Because that is who I am. I don't know who you think I am, who you think I should be, but I am not so sure I would like that person."

"You don't have to give up-"

"Yes! I do! And if you think that you are the biggest thing I have ever had to give up, you're delusional! You, Slade, are a… crush, if even that!"

The man in front of him straightened up and Robin could see him tensing, reminding him of the moment before he would attack in a fight. The teen just sighed and shook his head before he continued.

"Your view of me… it's not right, Slade, it's not real. I'll remember last night for the rest of my life, but that is all we can have. I have to go back."

"Kiss me."

"What?"

"Kiss me. One last time and then tell me you want to go back," the man challenged him. "I won't let you go until you do."

Robin's shoulders fell a little and he nodded, taking the few steps up to the man that separated them. Slade's hands pulled him close, their soaked bodies pressed against each other, finding a tiny bit of warmth. The hero raised his chin, and, as the man leaned down, Robin closed his eyes and parted his lips just slightly.

The man's lips felt warm as they brushed his once, twice before the kiss deepened. Their tongues touched, played, teased, before Robin opened his mouth a little wider, yielding, letting the man in. Their arms were wound tightly, almost desperately, around each other, and the hero could feel himself slipping, his body going lax against the man, surrendering to him in an eagerness to just be his, just belong, just stay there with him forever, just let Robin, the hero, die in those arms tonight, discard him and his morals and then, truly, finally, live.

The teen gasped for breath as the kiss ended. He clutched at the man, his lover, and then kissed him again, just a peck, this time.

"Slade… I'm… I'm going back."

The End

A/N: so what Pri was talking about was how it must be more difficult for Robin to chose Slade, at least if the man is who he is… I agree… so, for once, Robin made the … ummm… 'right' choice…? ;) The song was also so full of regret and disbelief, I felt, there's a line saying "Who would've thought that a boy like me could come to this?" which really struck a chord inside me… the song, in fact, is rather perfect for the ending of "Terms of Endearment" but, then again, we all know that Robin is just fine in that universe now… ;)

I'd love to hear your thoughts!