Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: Omg...one more chapter and this story is done! Thank you all for being so supportive and reviewing and reading, many of you for the second time around. Much love to all of you!
I need you

Like water in my lungs

-Brand New

February 2

DADA

For once, I'm not sitting with Fred. Alicia and I are sitting together, while the boys are somewhere hiding the back. Fred occasionally tries to speak to me, but it's a mission made in vain.

This is more than one of our petty little squabbles. I can tell there's something beyond the surface that Fred has failed to explain. The only problem is, I have no clue what that is. Alicia has tried to get the scoop from George, but he says he doesn't want to "get involved." Right. Thanks a lot George.

Looks like I'll be spending Valentine's Day alone.

Cheers to forty pounds of chocolate and really sappy love songs. Anyone up for a self-pity session?

February 14

Great Hall

Happy Single's Awareness Day! I never realized how lonely Valentine's Day could be, unless you were wallowing in the filth of your own misery. All right, so maybe I'm not that far gone, but it sure feels like it.

I've had to endure the squeals and giggles of overzealous, love-struck airheads, in addition to "oohing" and "ahhing" over bouquet after bouquet. I've barely seen Fred. Knowing my pathetic luck, he's probably off, holed up in some broom closet, shagging some stupid sixth year. Oh, how I wouldn't be surprised.

I've been thinking lately…and maybe you can call me crazy…but maybe it would be better if we separated. Granted, this preposterous statement is just like declaring your undying love for Professor Snape, but I'm starting to feel like this relationship is turning more into a burden than a story book romance.

Yes, I know this wasn't some sort of Hollywood affair to begin with, but I'd never expected it would take so much effort and work just to prevent a fight. I love him, Merlin knows I do.

But how much am I supposed to take? How much heartache am I supposed to endure before I totally and completely crack? I was never one of those girls that sat around and pouted because some dumb bloke didn't kiss her goodnight. I never spent my time chasing after boys, because I knew they were a dime a dozen.

As useful as a dirty tissue. But then Fred came along and he flipped everything upside down. It's like being an atheist your entire life and then suddenly, you get into this horrible car accident, where the only thing saving your neck was a sliver of skin.

And then you sort of have to believe in God, or some sort of religion or faith, don't you? Ugh, what the bleeding day am I thinking? Will someone just shut me up? How can Fred stand me. Jesus.

February 20

Potions

Received a letter from Mum and Dad this morning. They wished me luck with my NEWTS, even though they're like months away. The usual boring garbage. Not that I don't love them dearly. I really do. However, sometimes, I'd like for once that they stopped worrying about my grades and my schoolwork and actually care about my well being.

More often than never, I feel as though my role as a daughter is to be some kind of trophy. I've got to be perfect, act perfect, appear perfect, even if I have to sacrifice my own happiness to remain living in my plastic world. Blah. What a horrible person I am, trashing my own parents. I should half expect a lightening bolt to rip through the sky and smash onto my head. Too bad life doesn't have a fast forward button.

As soon as class started, Fred ran over to George and Lee. The three of them are holed up in the back, no doubt goofing off and mocking Professor Snape. Alicia volunteered to partner up with me, now that her beloved George was whisked away by my idiot boyfriend (?).

She knows I'm rather upset over this whole Fred mess and for the past hour and a half, has attempted to divert my attention. However, seeing as how I don't care which member of WOW!, the wizarding world's newest boy band, is the cutest, I feel like I am being tortured by Satan himself.

If I die before class ends, you'll know why.

February 21

Dorms

Oh joy. I'm still alive.

March 2

Common Room

Awoke this morning to the most unusual and pathetic racket. After showering and changing, I headed downstairs and was greeted by Katie and Lee, who both appeared very distraught. Katie, given her pink cheeks and clenched jaw, threatened to spontaneously combust at any given moment. Lee was bellowing some incoherent jumble at the top of his lungs, waving his hands about like a mime on fire.

George was attempting to reason with Lee in this strangely soothing voice, while Alicia was rolling her eyes and pretending to examine her nail beds. Fred was standing off to the side, watching everyone with an expression of extreme boredom. However, seeing our current situation, I pretended he was invisible.

I stood at the bottom of the stairs, watching the scene unfold. Drowned in utter confusion, I was just about to go ask what all the fuss was about, when Lee snatched Katie in his arms and kissed her senseless.

George snorted and signaled to Alicia, then the couple journeyed hand in hand to breakfast. Katie and Lee continued to snog each other like rabbits during mating season. I started to head for the door, when I felt a pair of watching eyes.

Sure enough, it was my dear Frederick. We locked eyes and he opened his mouth to say something, then snapped it shut. Feeling hopelessly foolish, I proceeded with my mission to the Great Hall, though I was quite tempted to talk to the idiot. Concerning Fred, breakfast was rather chilly, if you know what I mean. He sat across from me but didn't speak to me at all, except to say, "Give me the butter."

What a tosser.

March 10

Dorms

For some reason, Dumbledore's gone. Some important business with the Ministry, no doubt. I have no idea. Potter and Co. (aka Hermione and Ron), probably are more knowledgeable about it than anyone in the house.

The twins and their faithful sidekick, Lee, have taken it upon themselves to use this to their advantage. The usual torture that Umbridge willingly deserves has been thrust into overdrive. Not that I'm complaining or anything.

Surprisingly, even the teachers have failed to notice this flagrant violation of Hogwarts conduct. Just today, when the twins swapped all her normal ink with disappearing ink, Umbridge brought the complaint to McGonagall.

It was quite a pain for the old wart, because whenever she tried to write up a detention, the ink would vanish about six minutes later. Umbridge was quite shocked and horrified when McG suggested that it should be blamed on Miss Toad's carelessness and not the misconduct of Fred or George.

Cheers.

March 15

DADA

Fred's finally began to speak to me again. I think all the badgering from Lee, George and the girls had a little something to do with it. He pulled me aside before dinner. I was about to object and sprint for dear life with Katie.

However, in the moment I truly and desperately needed my dearest friend, she had vanished into thin air. Some friend. Anyway, the first five minutes of our conversation consisted of awkward silence and head scratching (on Fred's part). Fred kind of shuffled/scuffed his sneaker-clad feet against the floor, then sheepishly met my apprehensive gaze.

"I hate fighting with you," he simply admitted.

I nodded, feeling myself relax a considerable amount.

"Then why do we always manage to get into these situations?"

He shrugged and I couldn't expect him to answer. Frankly, I didn't know the truth either. A lapse of noiseless time passed and I studied his face, praying that whatever he had to say was the reward of reconciliation.

It's kind of frightening, really, to know that your entire world can fall apart due to the absence of one person. He sighed, which was laced in neither regret nor frustration.

"Missed you."

His words were short but I could already feel the muscles in my heart contract and expand, contract and expand, anticipating the next sentence. He knew it too. He hadn't even touched me and he'd already had me hooked.

I hadn't even nibbled at the bait and I was ready to be reeled in. I reached out to brush my hand across his cheek like a blind man searching for a steady support beam. However, to my surprise, he backed away.

"Angie. Look. I've been thinking about this…and I think, with recent and near future circumstances, we should break up."

I simply couldn't believe it. I stood there, my heart exploding, my mind racing and my eyes stinging all at once. The power of his words was like your face connecting with the side of a speeding train. I was absolutely speechless and the blood in my veins immediately froze with terror and horror.

I wanted him to crack his infamous smirk and tell me it was all a big joke, I wanted someone to pop out from the shadows and reveal that I was on some hidden camera show. I wanted more than anything to be thrown back into sixth year, when I was still in denial about my affections for Fred….I wanted….I wanted more than the moment could give.

I mean, it was totally and utterly ridiculous. He finally has the nerve to start talking to me and only to give me the big kiss off. The final goodbye. The nice to know you, it was fun while it lasted speech.

So I studied his face and I failed to witness any hidden tears, I failed to witness a trembling mouth, I failed to view all the gross exaggerations of regret and pity and woe that I'd hoped he was unable to control.

"Don't tell me you mean that," I finally whispered.

My voice was raggedy and low, as though I'd just completed a rather exhausting and demanding Quidditch match.

He shrugged and with the gesture, he'd allowed to loosen the noose around his emotions. He appeared as though he was about to puke, his cream colored face even paler, the scattering of freckles standing out like neon lights against the bleak and dreary darkness of a quiet city skyline.

And I wished at that moment that I could throw manners and regularity and patience out the window; I wished that I could throw a fit and scream and ask why. However, I remained glued to my spot, gaping like a large mouth bass. And we all know how attractive those suckers look!

"Angel, love…it's got to be this way. I can't…it's just better this way. If things end like this. I'll always love you, you know that, yeah? You're the only girl I've ever loved…even when you're out there, some famous Quidditch star, and you've forgotten all about me, you'll still have my heart."

I was so confused and enraged at his solemn mood. He made it sound as though this would be the last time I'd see him!

We still had months before graduation and I didn't start college until the fall! So why was he acting as though tomorrow would be his own funeral?

I put my hands on his shoulders and shook him a little bit.

"Fred, what in the blazes are you talking about? You make it sound like I'm moving to Africa! For Pete's sake, you know I love you, too. So why are we calling it quits?"

My hands fell to his waist and he sighed once more, then gently placed a hand on either side of my face. Our lips were centimeters away and I wanted nothing more than to collide that rosy mouth against my own.

"Angelina….this is the hardest decision I've ever had to make. You are a dime a dozen. And I'm the biggest idiot in the world for letting you go. But I've learned that one day, I've got to grow up. I can't be selfish. And you know what, I've realized that I can't make everything go my way. So I've gathered enough false courage and I'm going to walk away from you. And you're going to walk away from me. And I'm going to kick myself in the head, but at least I'll know I did the right thing. Don't make me take it back."

I probably would have cried at that moment, but I was all cried out. I removed my hands from his waist and entangled them into his hair.

Would it be possible to burn his image into my brain, to memorize every inch of my beautiful partner in crime? I put my cheek against his own and he flinched, trying so very hard to remain stock-still.

Fight it, I wanted to say. Fight it with all your might…and give in.

"Love, why are you doing this to me?" I hoarsely whispered, my lips brushing against his ear.

He swallowed and didn't respond. Maybe he was all out of words, just like I was all out of saline. He quickly pressed his mouth to my forehead, then recoiled away.

"It's all for the best, you'll see," he wearily advised.

I was the fire and he was the ice. Here I was, attempting to salvage the twisted crumbs of this beautiful yet demolished train wreck and he was passive and apathetic, battling his emotions and battling the intensity that threatened to consume his words and his thoughts.

So like the desperate lunatic I was, I lunged for his lips and allowed all my passionate fury to surface in my kiss. He tried to detach himself from me but I wouldn't let him. And he finally gave in, his arms wrapping around my waist, just like they always should, and for a split second, I truly assumed that I'd achieved victory.

But he pulled away and the bittersweet illusion was shattered.

"Angel, no. Stop," he huskily ordered.

And I stood there, dumbfound.

I could only gape, as though I'd been slapped in the face.

"Damnit…I told you not to make me regret this…I told you," he icily spat out.

His eyes swept to the floor and I moved away, feeling cheap and used, run down and drained like old batteries. He looked at me and I looked at him. And without another word, he turned on his heel and swiftly stormed towards the dorms, the foggy dimness of the hallways swallowing him whole.

And surprisingly, contradicting my earlier observation, I started to finally cry.