A/N: Happy B-day Queen'sJester (July 30)

This is a freestanding story and a BIT of a cliché, perhaps, but I hope you enjoy what makes it special… ;)

No warnings. Apart from the fact that Slade is not allowed to read this one.

Purrfect Spy

Slade might put great pride in naturally honed abilities but, as a meta-human, he didn't exactly mind the little extra 'push' his powers gave him. He was also interested in other's powers. He had dabbled in magic, constructed robotic henchmen and used alien technology, and he took every opportunity to study those with interesting abilities. Like the Teen Titans. Now, though he was only personally interested in one of them, ironically the one without powers, he knew a lot more about the others than he let on. And now, he might just have to use that knowledge, because he had been challenged.

Well. To be completely honest no one had exactly challenged him. The Titans had, however, improved their security system to the extent that it was now giving Slade trouble. And that, of course, was the challenge. He had found no way in for several weeks, not electronically or physically. When he had tried to combine the two by sending in a spy-robot, it had been melted by the new booby-trap system.

All this had finally led to Slade putting other projects aside just to ponder how to make Titans Tower his playground again, and he had come to the conclusion that he needed to do it from the inside. The alien might be stupid enough to give him the security passwords over the phone, but he reserved that as a second option… somehow his code disagreed with exploiting the retarded. So… other options.

He had tried and failed, putting the Titans, of course, on high alert, so he needed something he hadn't tried before… and it was when watching the team fight that he realized that, apart from Raven's ability to simply float through walls, which might be difficult to copy, there was another person on that team whose powers might provide the perfect disguise: Beast Boy.

He wasn't born with his powers, meaning it should be possible to reproduce them, and, it turned out, it was. To an extent. The vial of liquid would kill a normal human being; changing their DNA so quickly it would turn them into mush, but Slade had his healing ability, and he counted on that now. Heavily. It wouldn't be permanent, and it wouldn't mimic the teen's powers exactly; after all, the Titans would notice another green animal hanging around… but they might not notice a normal one. There was another difference; he would only be able to change into one animal, and only as long as the potion lasted, which, hopefully, would be the twenty-four hours he was counting on.

He was now positioned outside the Jump City bank, where a small explosive would go off any moment now, making the heroes come running. Or, as he counted on, driving. Even an animal couldn't just stroll into the building without, perhaps, facing the same fate as the spy bot, even though Slade was pretty sure the teens had installed some kind of safety systems so not to fry their little furry friends. Still, Slade would rather not take that chance. Instead he was going to hide under the seats in the car and ride all the way into the heart of the Tower. Inside he would find a computer, some blueprints or even just spy on the team, anything to get the information he needed to crack the new system.

Suddenly the alarm from the bank began to blare as people came rushing out in a panic, accompanied by smoke. Slade smirked. Soon…

It had taken a while to decide what kind of animal-gene he should use. Mammal, of course; he didn't want to mess with his DNA too much. It also needed to be small enough to be able to hide, but no so small that it wouldn't be able to jump up on desks. A monkey of some sort might have been ideal, but with the drawback that, if he was spotted, it would arouse more suspicion than a common animal. After a while only one option remained: cat. A stray cat wouldn't raise many eyebrows if he so strolled across their pizzas during dinner. A truly wild animal, Slade had considered a squirrel for example, would also have to act wild after all, and Slade planned to, if discovered, stay as close to the teens as possible.

The T-car appeared at that moment, screeching around a corner, but Slade waited. There would be time enough when the team had disappeared into the building and he wanted to make sure he had a clear path to the car. There. It stopped and they were out and, as he always did; Cyborg left the door ajar. It was a miracle that the car had only been stolen once. Slade smirked and downed the contents of the vial. The pain that followed was mind numbing, and, when it was over…

… it was dark and he couldn't move! Slade felt a rush of panic like he hadn't felt since he was a kid and broke his neighbor's window with a baseball. He fought what was holding him down, ensnaring him, and then he realized: his clothes. He had only worn jeans and a t-shirt, but he, apparently, should have thought to strip completely. Much calmer now, he managed to find his way out, but how much time had passed? He didn't know how long the transformation took, after all; this was the first time he had tried it. When he saw sunlight again it took a moment to get used to the new perspective. The world looked huge, which, to someone who was used to being six-four was a bit… daunting. No matter. He glanced down, noticing a pair of white paws with red tabby fur above them and hoped the whole transformation was a success and he didn't have an extra ear or something. He trotted up to the corner, feeling fine, and glanced around it. Good. The car was still there. Now, all it would take was-

"WOOF!"

Shit. Slade could feel his hair from his neck to the tip of his tail suddenly stand on end, which would have been an interesting observation if he hadn't been staring into the jaws of a gigantic pit bull mix. The cat's first impulse was to flee. Slade's first impulse was to kill. There was a bit of disagreement, but Slade was always good in an argument. He attacked.

After that, the dog would live with a permanent fear of cats for the rest of his days.

Huh… now I see why Robin even CONSIDERS taking me on… being small isn't always a disadvantage… I might have to look out for that young man… Slade thought to himself, and, at that precise moment, that young man picked him up.

"Hello there lil-OOOW!"

"Did it scratch you?" Cyborg asked.

"Not so much scratch as bury his claws in my bones," the teen answered between gritted teeth. "Shhh kitten, it's okay, we heard the fight… are you okay? Did you make that dog run away?"

"I think the dog needs our help more than the cat…" Raven droned.

"Yeah? Where did it go?" Robin asked and they all looked around, but the dog had disappeared.

"That cat is like the HULK!" Beast Boy grinned. "Can we keep him?"

"He might have an owner, but I don't want to just let him go with all this traffic around." Robin said slowly. "We'll check if he… or she… is chipped when we get back and Star, maybe you can do some flyers?"

"Oh yes indeed!" the alien smiled. "We will find your home for you, little friend!" she added and patted Slade on the head.

Slade, who had long since realized that things were going his way, had retracted his claws, but they almost went in again when someone lifted his tail.

"Yup, definitely a boy… not even fixed," Cyborg said.

"He kinda look homeless, I mean… well… he's kinda ugly, isn't he? I mean, missing an eye and all…" Beast Boy said, looking a bit guilty for it.

"Do not listen to the bad BB, you are certainly not ugly!" Starfire exclaimed and swooped the cat out of Robin's arms. "Oh, but you are very heavy."

"He's a big boy, and tough too, by the looks of it," Robin said almost proudly. "I bet he does well on the streets but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a better, safer life… Let's bring him home."

"What should we call him?" Beast Boy asked eagerly.

"Well… 'Hulk'?" Robin chuckled.

"Yeah! Go Hulk!" Cyborg whooped.

Slade, being petted and cooed at by Starfire, could only hope his plan would work, or people would have to die to calm his frustration.

In the car Slade managed to escape to Robin's lap, the lesser evil, he hoped, than Starfire. Why the girl was riding with them Slade didn't understand, couldn't she just fly? But all of them were crammed into the tin-can of death, being driven by the grim reaper himself, by the feel of it.

"I don't think Hulk likes car rides," Robin said, keeping a firm grip on the cat.

"Don't let him throw up in my baby!" Cy yelled.

"Well, maybe you should take the rest of the corners on all four wheels, then?" his leader suggested dryly. Slade gave him some silent praise for that one.

They parked deep under the Tower, and when they entered the elevator Slade, in Robin's arms, had a perfect view of the code the teen punched in. The mercenary tried not to grin, because that would, he assumed, look rather scary on a cat. That code was only one, though, and perhaps only worked on this particular panel… if the heroes were smart, that is. What Slade really wanted to see were blueprints over all the changes that had been done to the system, so he knew what to expect and how to deal with it. First, however, it seemed they were going to the sickbay.

"Well, he doesn't have any chip, sorry, no tattoos in his ear either," Cyborg said after running some kind of scanner all over Slade's body. "I must say this, though; Hulk suits him. I thought he was fat at first but he's just big and muscular."

"Well, let's check him over… I'm not a vet, but his ears looks clean," Robin said. "And his teeth are all there and white like a toothpaste commercial… no fleas, nice coat… Eyes, well.. eye, looking good. The wound looks old, it healed long ago… Heh, I think he's glaring at me. Don't you like being examined, Hulk?" Robin asked and scratched the cat's head. "Would you like some food? I think we have some tuna unless Starfire had it on her ice cream last night…"

Food sounded good to Slade. Genetically changing yourself made you hungry, apparently. Besides, he might finally get an opportunity to move around a bit on his own. He was carried all the way to the common room and kitchen, however, but then, at last, he was let down. He glanced up and realized that all eyes were on him, clearly wondering what the cat would do next. That was the problem. He was still Slade, and, although his body reacted like a cat's, that, apart from a few deeply rooted instincts, were as far as it went. Therefore, so he wouldn't raise any suspicion, he had to act like a cat. And what the hell would a cat do? Maybe he should have researched this, but it was too late now. He looked around and sniffed at the floor. This, he discovered, was very interesting, because his sense of smell was so much better. He decided to sneak around, because that's what cats did, he imagined, and 'explore' the room, and this, clearly, was what was expected of him, judging by the Titan's reactions.

He tried to slip away a few times during the evening, but someone was always keeping an eye on him and, apart from the tuna which was very good, Slade began to get frustrated. He had had a bit of fun when Starfire had tried to take a picture of him for the flyers, turning his head away just as she pushed the trigger, and simply walking away, tail in the air, when he had had enough. As entertaining as it might be to annoy the heroes, that didn't lessen his own frustration. And that wasn't all. His bladder was beginning to cause him some problems as well. He could, he supposed, just lift his tail against the closest wall, but one; that was below him, and two: he risked being thrown out on his furry butt if he did.

The closest bathroom was the first door in the hallway, that much he knew. He had visited the place enough times to find his way easily after all, even from this close to the floor. The door was slightly ajar and, as the heroes all seemed to be busy, he slipped into the hallway and pushed the door slightly more open with his paw.

"Oh, where has the kitty gone?" Starfire asked.

"I just saw him sneak into the bathroom," Robin chuckled.

"He needs to do the tinkling?"

"Nah, he's just curious, checking the place out," her leader grinned.

"You sure it's safe in there?" Cy asked.

"Let's go check on him," Beast Boy suggested, and, as a team, they went to go peek in on the kitty. As they open the door the kitty was crouching on the toilet seat, indeed 'tinkling'. Unfortunately, as surprised as the Titans were, the cat was even more so, and… slipped.

"Save the kitty!" Starfire exclaimed.

"He's a big cat, he won't drown in the toilet," Raven muttered.

Drowning he might not be, but his lower half was soaked. And smelly. Slade jumped out of the bowl and landed on the floor, tail twitching angrily.

"Did you guys see what I did? Because I think I have a virus," Cyborg said and tapped at his robotic eye.

"Like how smart is this cat?" Beast Boy wondered.

"Nah, I've seen them do this online, there's some kind of kit you can buy to train them to use the toilet," Robin let them know. "But that really settles it; he has an owner," he added almost a bit dejectedly.

"Okay, Rob, but for now, you better wash your cat," Cyborg said and slapped his leader's shoulder.

"My cat?"

"When he's covered in pee, he's yours, dude," Beast Boy nodded.

"Have fun," Raven said dryly.

"Star?" Robin asked pleadingly.

"I… I am most sorry, but Raven has done my nails up with the pretty glitter and-"

"Yeah, yeah, off you go," their leader sighed. "Looks like it's just going to be you and me, Hulk."

Don't you love it when that happens? Slade blinked slowly.

Robin sacrificed a towel, swept the cat up in it, thanking his lucky stars that it at least seemed calm, and took it to his own bathroom where he had shower cubicle to close them both in. He put the cat down in it and threw the towel in the hamper.

"Okay, you stay there. I have to find a shampoo I can use on you… how about apple?"

I'm a cat, I have no shampoo preferences… but yes, apple is nice. YOU use it, after all, Slade commented silently.

"There, none of us will like this, but just stay still and it will be over soon, alright?" Robin told the cat.

Apart from the first part I would like to use that assurance on YOU in a certain situation… Well… scratch the last part as well.

Robin took his top off. He knew he was going to get soaked, but at least he could save that much. His belt and boots also went on the pile. He hesitated about his gloves.

"Are you going to scratch me?" he asked, but the cat still looked calm, if a bit annoyed, so Robin slipped the gloves off too before getting in the cubicle and kneeling down.

You and me, naked in the shower… Well, I'm naked, you're only half way there, but it's not bad so far. Not quite what I imagined, though.

Robin winced a bit as he leaned over and Slade spotted an old greenish-yellow fist-sized bruise on the side f the teen's chest. A big fist. His. It had happened a couple of weeks ago. Things had gotten a bit out of hand and he hadn't been able to pull his punch in time.

I sometimes forget that you don't heal as quickly as I do… you fight so well that I overlook that you're just human, Slade realized and put a paw just below the bruise.

"Oh, don't worry about that, it was just a bad, bad, man," Robin chuckled. "I must let him win once in a while, you know… hey, did you just snort?"

"Meow?" Slade said innocently.

"Let's get this over with. Please don't scratch me."

Slade knew cats weren't supposed to like baths, so he did struggle a bit, but he kept his claws sheathed.

Soon it was over and he was being rubbed dry by a towel on the bathroom floor, something cat-Slade really liked, judging by the sound.

"Aw, you're purring," Robin smiled down at him. The teen then looked down at himself and grimaced. "I'm wet and covered in cat-hair. I better take a shower myself. You just sit here and dry will, you?" the teen said.

Oh, yes, I'm not moving, Slade, literally, purred, watching intently as the teen stripped. Yes, he felt a bit perverted doing that, but those feelings seldom bothered him much. Robin removing his mask was almost the most exciting part, well… his naked ass was on the top of that list, but still. Smiling, stunning blue eyes looked down at him as the teen bent down to pet him one more time before entering the shower. Slade thought it must be the cat's warped way of seeing colors that made them that blue, because they couldn't be that bright shade for real.

He was sitting calmly, enjoying the view through the clear glass of the cubicle and thinking that it might all have been worth it anyway, even if he only would get a single code. He couldn't help but think that he was in the wrong body, however… Then he caught a glimpse of his own reflection, and noticed a floor-to-ceiling mirror.

Vain, my boy? Well.. you have the right to be, Slade mused and studied his own image. As he already knew he was a red tabby, and he briefly wondered in the orange color was some kind of celestial joke. His paws was while, as he had already seen, and so was his chin, his muzzle and, above a very pink nose, a white, pointy stripe led up the bridge of his nose as well. All in all, apart from the missing eye, he was a bit too cute, the man reckoned. He turned his attention back to the much more interesting sight of Robin, instead. That show was almost at an end though, and after drying off Robin put on a pair of boxer-briefs and a new mask before letting Slade out of the bathroom. The cat looked around, spotted the computer buzzing in a corner and perked up.

"I think we better get to bed, you never know when the alarm sets off again," Robin told him and yawned. Slade had preferred to be left alone with the computer, but instead he curled up on the foot of the bed and pretended to fall asleep.

"Wow, you were really tired, weren't you?" the teen chuckled and got in bed as well. "Night Hulk."

Slade didn't answer. He was a cat, after all.

Listening to the teen's breathing, he could hear exactly when Robin fell asleep. He waited a bit longer to make sure the hero was really under, and then softly jumped off the bed and onto the desk-chair. As soon as he touched the mouse, the screen lit up, and it seemed Robin must have been working on something before the bank-alarm, because some files were open. Slade eyed them, but they were just case-files, nothing that interested him. Instead he began the painstakingly work of navigating through the Titan's system using only his paws. The mouse was a pain so he mostly stuck to the keyboard when he could, pressing individual keys with his claws. All the time he kept an ear turned towards the bed, but the breathing never shifted, not even when the teen rolled over and mumbled something in his sleep.

Slade didn't care how it looked this time; as he found what he was looking for he grinned. The files were mostly encrypted so he simply mailed them to himself to work on later… when he had hands, preferably. He had seen enough to get the gist of what had been done, however, and although the work was impressive, he knew he would find the weak points in it. He couldn't wait to get started, he-

His thoughts were cut off when he suddenly yawned. He couldn't remember when he had ever been this tired before. Had this something to do with the cat's physique as well? He quickly made sure the computer was as he found it, and returned to the bed. He wouldn't be able to leave in his cat-form, not during the night anyway, so he might as well take a nap.

Robin slept badly for the last part of the night. Every time he moved, there was the cat, stretching out, taking up half the bed, it seemed. He didn't understand why physicists were so interested in the Higgs boson, when they should be looking into the mass of a cat compared to the space it took up sleeping. Robin was sure some black holes or something were involved. He managed to get back to sleep every time, though, and then opened his eyes to the first rays of sunlight shining through the window. He sat up, blinked his eyes clear and reached for his private cell phone.

"Speedy?" he asked as a voice answered.

"Yeah? Must be early in Jump… so what's up?" his friend, who was the one Robin really opened up to, answered.

"I just wanted to make sure it was real…" Robin said slowly, still rubbing his eyes.

"What was?"

"Roy, you know the dream I have sometimes, where there's a naked man in my bed…?"

The End.

A/N: yup, that potion-thingy didn't last as long as Slade thought it was. Silly man. He should have checked the math. ;) I hoped you enjoyed Slade as a cat. I know the cat-thing itself has been done many times, but I just couldn't think of a more suitable animal… as per the reasoning Slade does in the story… dogs can't use their paws as a cat can and are not as agile either… If you can think of a better mammal, let me know… ;)

As for the cat's look, I decided that it was time for my other cat-boy, Ramses, to get some spotlight, as my Cornish Rex Exit plays the part of "Bunny" in the Terms universe… ;) Ramses, though, I have to admit, may be big, but it's not muscles… *cough*