UPDATE: I just realized what an awful amount of errors this story has, thus will correct them…or at least try…
EDIT: I started this like 7 years ago…so many things changed…but I'll leave this silly intro just cause the hell of it
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I don't own shaman king ¬¬; do you?
This is a yaoi story involving Hao and Lyserg, don't like, don't read, or if ya want to flame me, fine for me then ^_^ I'm crazy and sometimes insults can make my day XP!!
I dedicate this fic to my dearest friend: Opacho (Cheshire) ^_^thank you Opacho-chan for Everything!!!
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BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE
Chapter 1: Mixed Feelings
"Years pass so fast, sometimes you don't even notice them, seconds are invisible to almost everybody, they are just whispers of time that are there, and at the same time aren´t... they're like my feelings. Yes, my feelings are disordered, almost always I'm feeling lonely and depressed, nobody with me, hatred takes my mind which takes me to you. Yes, you are the cause of my grief, you took my happiness away, you broke my heart in pieces, you threw me into a dark endless void, still you are the only reason for me to live. You are so important in my life now. I only care about you and nobody else, I always want to know what are you doing, I always want to follow your shadow, and I need to know you're there to feel okay. You are my reason to be, Hao Asakura"
The British boy closed his diary. He was all alone in his room; he always made sure his fairy friend was asleep before he wrote on his secret notebook. Lyserg sighed while holding the closed notebook in his hands. He didn't understand the urge to write such things, but one thing was certain: everything he wrote came from the deepest part of his heart, so deep he sometimes really didn't know he felt that. Lyserg stared at the cover of his diary, then he opened it and started reading some of the first pages:
"Today the rain is so strong; I feel I can't continue walking. My problems are like a tremendous storm that surrounds me, and I'm so vulnerable without any shelter, or company to aid me. In the midst of my pain, you, Asakura Hao, appear like the worst of my nightmares. I wish I could suffocate you with my own hands, to see your blood spilling my clothes, to hear your last breath...on the other hand, I want to embrace you, to protect you, to know you'll always be there, to know you'll never abandon me. Diary, I better stop writing today for I'm scaring myself with my writing."
Lyserg turned the page and continued reading: "I don't know if this is true, hope is not: I think Hao Asakura is my only reason to live now. Why am I saying such things? Here are some answers I came up with: He murdered my parents, this made me want to take revenge against him, after that,...what's next? To live alone? No way! So when I'm done with Hao, I won't have any reason to continue at least that's how I feel"
Lysergs's emerald eyes shone strangely, his life was so so complicated. "Hao Asakura, are you thinking about me?" finally the English boy asked to the stars, waiting for an answer.
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The long haired shaman stared at the fire interestedly. He rested his head on his hand; a warm breeze came and stroked his hair gently. Hao closed his eyes, remembering that day, eight years ago, in the distant England. Hao was just six years old; he was already picking members for his group. The young shaman felt shamanic power from a mansion nearby, and headed to it. He found a married couple, and asked them to join his group, but they refused, so the kid just burned everything, killing both (the fact the man had threatened him with a gun did help though). He felt so disappointed everybody acted like that. Suddenly, a little boy entered, Hao was sure about one thing: he was their son. Lyserg reclaimed Hao for what he had done, and even tried to attack him... foolish! But Hao liked his bravery and seeing he was only a kid, he didn't harm the child.
"I should have taken him" he thought out loud "I'm sure he would had become a fine member"
Hao stared deeper at the fire, thinking on the English boy, about how lonely he how wrong he had done abandoning him in that place. "But is with the X-laws. heh, poor lad"
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Lyserg placed his diary away, and prepared to sleep. He put his green pajamas on and threw himself heavily on his bed. He covered Morphin with his blanket because it was getting colder. Lyserg pulled out his diary from under his pillow and hugged it hardly. "You don't have any idea how much I hate you I can't really hate you". Lysergs's feeling were really a puzzle he himself wasn't able to solve yet. The person he despised most was the person he needed to know was all right.
"How ironic!" and said this, he closed his cute green eyes, trying to sleep at least for that night.
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Hao Asakura lay back, crossing his hands behind his head. "What a day.I'm always bored, I wish something interesting happens someday" The long haired shaman closed his eyes slowly, before they were completely closed, he saw an image of Lyserg, but didn't pay attention since he was tired and sleepy already.
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The sun greeted the cute British boy, he yawned loudly waking up his loyal fairy friend. "Oh good morning" greeted Lyserg with a warm smile. Morphin returned the smile and flew under the desk, bringing Lyserg his slippers. Lyserg put them on; he headed to the window, pulled the white curtains apart, and smelled the morning's fresh air. The blue sky looked wonderful illuminated by the sunlight. The birds were gathering on an oak to start their chorus. The city was starting to live as always. Lyserg dreamed someday he could wake up with Hao and greet this repetitive but beautiful sight, then he let a long sigh go " would never happen." then closed the window and headed to the bathroom.
Morphin prepared the bathtub with hot water and bubbles, Lyserg took off his clothes and sank slowly in the hot liquid. How he'd love to be with Hao! But at the same would try to kill him. "I better stop thinking nonsense!" he said, rubbing his arms with soap. "Oh Morphin could you hand me the shampoo, please?" The little fairy grabbed the bottle with difficulty and finally poured some shampoo on her master's hair. Lyserg finally finished rinsing his green hair, covered himself in a towel and threw himself heavily on the couch.
"Oh, today I got to go shopping with Marco, though it gets so boring sometimes." The English boy dressed with his X-laws uniform and left his room, after hiding his secret diary.
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Hao bathed himself on a hot water spring in a cave hidden in the mountains. He poured a mixture of herbs on his hair (that was the secret formula for his well-groomed hair) and expanded it all over. "It's so relaxing.a hot bath in the morning" Hao said to himself, when done, he came out of the water and dried himself under the sun. "Yes, so relaxing."
The powerful shaman put on his clothes and decided to take a walk across the spoiled city, to decide which departmental store or mall he would destroy first(he was that bored...) . "Mmm. that shopping store at the mall for that's the most annoying of all" said this, the long haired shaman summoned his spirit and they parted to the city.
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"Marco, wait for me!" said a panting Lyserg running awkwardly after the blonde X-law.
"What a slow wimp! Hurry up! Our princess is starving! And she wants some new clothes too!"
"You don't need to go so fast" continued Lyserg, trying to recover his breath. Marco shot a furious glance to the boy, Lyserg was scared and stopped walking "Marco-sama" he was barely able to say.
"Were you trying to say our princess doesn't deserve the best?"
"No Marco-sama, forgive my weakness and selfish thoughts" apologized the emerald eyed boy.
Marco stared at Lyserg. He watched Lyserg from head to toe, steadily, Lyserg felt uncomfortable. "Ok... after all only our princess is flawless" and continued his rush into the store.
Lyserg pulled the shopping cart while Marco stuffed many things in it, he thought it may burst. After a while the cart was so heavy as the maiden's iron cage (box whatever) Lyserg thought his wits were going out from his body. When they arrived to the counter, Marco took out a great amount of money, the boy just observed in awe. After shopping, they walked silently through the mall, Marco eating an ice cream and the British boy carrying all the stuff. "Oh wow! Look at that gun! Hey Lyserg stay here, while I go and check out that baby!" Marco rushed into the hunter's store while Lyserg sat clumsily and started counting the infinite lights on the ceiling.
Suddenly, someone caught his eyes. Yes it was HIM. His worst nightmare, that dirty, soulless demon... that bittersweet dream.
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Hao walked through the people calmly. He looked at all that human mess. "When I build my kingdom, this will sure end." Hao finally stood in front of the hunter's store. "Should I...or should I wait? Mmm what a foolish decision! After all I'll burn all this garbage." Hao raised his hand slowly, he was about to summon his fire spirit and burn the sucking store.
"STOP!" screamed Lyserg holding Hao's hand. Hao turned his head a bit surprised; he didn't expect anyone to stop him.
"You? What the hell are you doing here?" asked the strongest shaman in amusement.
"Of course stopping you, Hao Asakura! I'll kill you with my own hands I swear!"
Hao frowned and pulled Lyserg, the britsh boy fell on the floor with a thud. "No, Stop!"
Too late. In less than ten seconds, the store was surrounded by flames. All the people started running out of the mall in a fuss, screaming and stumbling over each other. Lyserg watched in horror as Hao headed slowly to him.
"How could you stop me anyways" he said smiling. Lyserg lowered his face, he felt so vulnerable. Hao stared at him; he grabbed Lyserg by his back and helped him get on his feet. Lyserg was shocked with this, his face turned red and hot; he couldn't believe what Hao was doing. "Now calm down."
"Don't you touch me again!" shot Lyserg pushing Hao harshly away. "Uh, what's wrong? Are you still holding a grudge at me for that incident? Heh, don 't be pathetic"
Lyserg threw himself over Hao "SHUT UP!" and tried to hit him, but the clever shaman evaded Lysergs's punch, but fell under Lyserg. Lyserg blushed when he realized he was over Hao. their faces so close, he was breathing the same air as his arch enemy, their lips were almost touching, and Hao's eyes darker than ever looked so deep. The two shamans stayed like that for some time, nobody watching them thanks to the burning flames on the surroundings.
Hao got lost in Lysergs's emerald eyes, they shone like stars, and his cheeks were pinkish, which made Lyserg look so cute. He smelled so fresh and his body over him felt warmer than fire itself.a different sensation. Hao placed his hands gently on Lysergs's chest, and pushed him softly off him. Lyserg stood up, reluctantly, the next minute they remained watching themselves in silence, until Marco came running and screaming from the store still on fire.
"Waah! My uniform! It's all burned!" Marco shoved the ashes off his white coat, then his blue eyes set on Hao. "You little bastard! You caused this didn't you? Wait until our princess punishes you."
"Shut up, that girl can't even scratch me." defended Hao, then turned his dark eyes on Lyserg. Lysergs's hands started shaking, he himself wasn't sure why. Hao noticed this, he was confused as well, and Lyserg looked so tender and cute all of a sudden.
The long haired shaman walked near Lyserg and cupped his hands around Lysergs's. Lyserg blushed again, his ears were burning, he couldn't believe Hao was actually touching his hands, but the next thing he couldn't believe, was that Hao pressed his lips with Lysergs's. Marco watched in horror, had Lyserg betrayed the X-laws? Lyserg closed his eyes accepting Hao, but the kiss didn't last long. After three or four seconds Hao left Lyserg and disappeared in flames.
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End of chapter 1, changed some details here and there….