Chapter 6: Goodbye

I had finally grown accustom to being awake at three a.m. to tend to the cry of the poor baby. I had finally grown accustom to constantly picking the baby up in my arms whenever he cried. I had finally grown accustom to the sweet giggles that he made, and the small spit bubbles he blew. Although there was so much responsibility that went along with little Nick, I enjoyed having him around, and I especially enjoyed that Jack was beside me the entire way.

Nick stayed with me and my mother for about three days, and today was the day of the funeral. That morning when I woke up it was a gloomy day outside. The wind could be heard brushing through the dead vines, and the gray clouds could be seen outside my bedroom window. I quickly got up and dressed, most appropriately in a black dress. I picked Nick up from his cradle and walked down stairs to feed him. I set him on the couch along with a rattle to keep him busy and went to go fine some baby food from the cabinet. As I rummaged through the many jars there was a soft knock at the door.

I picked up Nick from the couch and went to open the door. To my surprise, outside stood Elli and Jeff, but it was no happy surprise indeed. As I looked upon the face of my old friend her eyes were red and puffy, her porcelain cheeks stained with tears, and a small frown was formed by her lips. I could tell by the look in her eyes that all she wanted to do right now was hold her baby. I handed Nick over to his rightful mother and she gently cradled him in her arms, the tears now streaming from her eyes.

"Oh Nick, my sweet little Nicky. Grandma Ma is gone… and she's never coming back," Elli cried as I welcomed her and Jeff into the house. Elli seated herself on the couch, holding Nick close to her heart. "She's gone…" I went to go put on some hot water for some tea. Although I had many questions to ask, this moment was not the right one to ask them all. Jeff put him arm around his wife and cuddled her near.

After a few minutes of quiet sobs, the teapot let off a soft whistle. I grabbed two cups from the cabinet and made some tea for all three of us. I returned to the main room and handed Jeff a cup first. Elli placed Nick upon the floor and let him play with his toys, and I handed her a cup of steaming tea.

"Thank you very much for everything you have done Karen. You don't know how much I appreciate it. I'm sorry I just burst in here…" she said to me, as she attempted to take a sip of tea, her hands were still a little shaky.

"It was no problem. I'm very sorry to hear about your grandmother…" I really wasn't sure what else to say. As we sat in the main room, with the gloomy clouds outside and the wind blowing against the door, Elli told me about what happened. A little later, my mother walked in the door, also comforting Elli with open arms. My heart felt like it was going to break any second. So much grief in one day, so many tears that had been shed. What was truly happening here?

"I'm sorry, but I must go be alone for a little while. I will see you all at the funeral," I said and picked up my coat before walking out the door. The wind chilled my bare arms as I wrapped the coat around my back. I didn't know where I was going, but I just couldn't stand to hear any more of death.

As I walked down the road, I found that for some odd reason, all I wanted to do right now was talk to Jack. I wandered into his farm slowly, my breathe causing steam in front of my eyes. I went up to the main door and soft knocked. Soon enough the door opened.

"Karen, what's wrong?" Jack said, holding open arms for me to fall into. I didn't cry, not one tear, he just held me in his arms in the cold until I finally calmed down enough to talk. We walked into his house, the warmth from his furnace hitting my face in a big gust. I sat down on the couch and Jack got a cup of cocoa.

"Elli's grandma died. She came back this morning and got Nick. Today is the day of the funeral… and I'm already a mess," I said to him quite calmly, my eyes staring coldly at the ground.

"Don't worry Karen, it will all be fine," He said to me… and for some reason… I believed him. Over these past few days Jack and I had become very close. He had come over every day to help me take care of Nick, and to help around with the house, since lately Kai was spending more and more time with Popuri, mostly arranging their wedding. But yes, Jack truly was a life saver, he was my shoulder to lean on, and without him, I don't think I would have made it through this past week. I spent two hours at Jack's house, mostly just talking. It was finally time for the funeral.

"Come on Karen… we got to go," Jack said to me, offering his hand to help me up from the couch. I looked in the mirror and pulled my hair behind my shoulders. I pulled on my coat and me and Jack walked hand in hand down to the church. We were the second to arrive, the first was my mother. She stood like a stone staring down at the coffin that contained her husband… my dad. I dropped his hand and told him to wait there, and I walked over to my mother's side.

"He really wasn't a bad man… you know that don't you Karen? My mom said to me. I couldn't answer, cuz I really didn't know. "He never meant to truly hurt you he just lost his temper sometimes. When you were first born he went around the whole town telling everyone that he had the best daughter ever. When you were a baby he use to sing you to sleep every night. It was just over the years, with the vineyard going down the whole, he started to drink… but Karen, he never wanted to hurt you, he loved you, he just didn't remember how to show you that." I broke down. I hadn't cried all day. I had convinced myself that I didn't care about him, and that I was glad he was gone, but now after hearing what my mother had to say, I knew that was only a cover up to hide my feeling.

"I know he loved me…" I cried into my mother's shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me. I released my grip around her and for a while we both stood looking upon the coffin. Eventually people started to arrive, and to my surprise, almost everyone in town came. Everyone came up to me and my mother, expressing their sympathy, and then going off to one of the pews to converse.

"Karen" A voice called from behind me. I turned around to see one of my best friends in the world. Ann. "Karen, I'm very sorry about your father. I'm so glad you came back, I missed you."

"Ann, you always were my best friend," I said to her, and she wrapped her arms around me, and then also retreated to a pew with her father. Finally the pastor came and the service began. I was seated in the second row, behind me mother, and Jack seated beside me. He tried every way possible to comfort me as he took my hand in his, but I still felt cold inside.

As I looked around at everyone, I couldn't help but feel cold. Everywhere I looked in the small church there was grief. Elli stood in the back row with her young son in her arms, still crying over the death of her own grandmother. My mother, the tears still streaming down he face as the pastor read from the bible. Even Kai, who stood next to his soon to be wife, looked sad amongst the crowd. He blankly stared at the coffin, and I could tell that he too was filled with grief. This whole place was grief.

At the end of the service every person took turns going by the coffin and saying a final word. I watched every person go by, murmuring something, and then passing. I was the last to go. I walked cautiously up to the coffin and placed my hand on it. It was cold… death.

"Goodbye Dad…"