Chapter 02

Half-Asleep

by

ensngre

"Naruto… you don't look too well," Neji said, concern obvious in his deep voice. He had been one of the first to know of the arranged marriage between his cousin and the blonde boy he'd fought so many times beside. Neji, like many others, had been called out for duty when the last years of the Fourth World War was on-going. Being merely ten years old, he didn't amount to much. He and his team, along with their instructor, had moved from camp to camp in the war – being reinforcement and support was a duty with no rest.

He had heard stories, many incredible and many more impossible ones. One of the pros of being transferred so much, was the vast amount of information they got in contact with. He was fascinated with the stories, even though he knew that most of them was only created to heighten the morality of the forces. The stories, or legends, had varied greatly from camp to camp, but there was some that were vaguely alike – like the stories about the victories that the three Sannin's had brought the Leaf, or of a group named the Sanjuusou that consisted of war-veterans, that had greatly benefitted the later outcome of the war. Like the name proposed, the legendary team consisted of three persons. Few stories was told about the actual members of that team (or group, if you will), but rather the admirable feats that they had accomplished.

One day, he and his team had been assigned to one of the most creditable camps the Leaf's had – which was under the supreme-command of the ingenious Orochimaru of the Three – and which had been given the code-name Salamander. It wasn't large, in fact it was a camp only slightly beyond the normal size – it contained roughly about 175 shinobis. Some argued that it was their close teamwork that made them the best of the best. They had completed about 30 medium-large-scale assaults, which had required about 75 of the forces. Death-rates were far below normal, only having lost 40 brave soldiers in half-a-year. It was an honor to become a part of Salamander's wheel.

The stories about the incredibly powerful snake-sannin had only been a little intimidating in comparasion to actually having met the man. He was frighetening, seniority and the incredible pressure he radiated had been giving him the shivers. Neji had been sincerely happy that he had been an ally, not an enemy. It was shortly after he met the legendary Sanjuusou's, the admired, respected and heroic Konoha Shinobis that could replace fear in the hearts of everyone in the bloodshedded battlefield with courage in an instant.

"You think so? Neji…" Naruto half-answered the statement, appearing to be looking through the layers of air and clouds out to space, from where he lay on the grass in one of the beautiful green parks of Konoha. He, like the best upcoming strategist of the Leaf, Shikamaru, liked to watch the sky. From time to time. But only when he was sorrowful. He had done that a few times in the War, Neji had seen.

Neji sighed. He couldn't do a thing to make the situation better for his blonde friend – Hinata-sama had already occupied Hiashi-sama with complaints about the marriage (he hadn't gotten a free moment in weeks, and for that, Neji was glad – it served him right, that old-timer), it was impossible to actually cheer him up, so he didn't try that – and for the matter regarding his younger cousin, well… it wouldn't do to force them to see each other, or to try to talk some sense into either of them. None knew what had really happened between them, as they were quite secretive about it. So Neji couldn't do anything other than reminiscence.

A few days after he and his team had been instated in the Salamander-camp, the shinobis had started talk about the Sanjuusou's. Apparently, they had been on a mission that had started before him coming there, and the members of the camp had been starting to take bets on when they would re-arrive and in which shape they would be in. This was surprising to him, because even though they were supposed to be a legendary group, no-one he'd ever met in that terrible war had been making bets on mission-related situations. It was simply too disrespectful, it was against all the unwritten rules he had come to learn in the half-year/year he had been enlisted.

But none seemed to take offence from it – because, he noticed, no-one ever even questioned whether or not the mission would be successful. It was just a matter of time before they arrived back to camp, for them.

They did come back to camp, not unharmed, but no serious wounds had appeared on either three of them. The shortest one, in fact, had none at all. His clothes was ripped in some places, indicating that he'd been hit. But there were no wounds, or even scars. That puzzled him. What puzzled him even more, had been the age of the three. They were supposed to be legendary, for fucks sake! War-heroes, war-veterans, he had heard! Two of them didn't look to be older than himself, and the third one was around 13, he had guessed. They were children.

But when they came sauntering, cheers was heard, and they were lifted up by the Salamander's and carried around, exactly like war-heroes. And the mood before, which was unusually high, was carried into even greater heights. If Neji would've been mad, he would've said they were happy. And that itched him off, because no-one – not you, your friends or even your enemy – no-one was supposed to be happy in times like these. It was just wrong, and it had disgusted him at first.

He had picked up that the mission was to take down a low-sized enemy-camp, which was about 75-100 members (if he hadn't totally forgotten the lessons at the academy). And they had succeeded. That was unheard of, it was ridicilous; three men, boys, against a whole low-sized camp? He couldn't believe it even if he saw it. He had tried to gather courage to go ask one of the boys if this was true, and somehow had managed to – he had asked the blonde-haired little boy, and he had only gotten a tiny little smile for an answer. And as destiny had decided to be kind to him, he had stayed in the Salamander for the rest of the war, and had enjoyed peace ever since.

"Naruto…" ((mmm…)) "Hey, Naruto… you gotta get up, man…" ((…mmppphhhh…)) "Okay, if you don't move your sorry ass out of your bed RIGHT FUCKEN NOW, I'll fucken make Kuroari trap you and make you a bloody MESS!" Naruto, sensing danger, shot up from his bead, sitting right up.

Or at least he tried to.

Kankuro was positioned on top of him, and held his hands around his throat, trying to strangle him. And he was pretty damn well succeeding, too. "Ka… Kankuro…" Naruto managed to get out. "Y… You… You'll strangle me." He tried to gasp for air.

"Yeah, that's EXACTLY what I'm trying to do here! What, you thought I didn't have the guts to kill you, just because you're Hokage-sama's SON, you bastard!" Naruto tried to answer. He really did. Tried as best he could.

He got out one word. A strained, "no…" Then he had a flashback.

/Marriage, hmm? No wonder she's mad. He sighed, and closed his eyes. I should worry more about myself… Kankuro's going to explode when he hears about this, he thought, letting out a snicker at the thought of an angry face-painted Sand-puppeteer. Bah… he doesn't have the guts to kill the Fourth's son./

…Damnit. "I-I mean, yes, I did," he said, after having been able to force the puppeteers hands off of his throat for a little while. He thought it might've relieved the puppeteer, but it didn't. On the contrary, he made it even worse; the grip on his throat just increased… Will this be the end! He thought to himself (and to any higher entity that might hear him). Fortunately for him, the grim reaper didn't want his shitty soul that day.

Because in came Temari storming, storming to his aid! His very own guardian angel. He thought he spotted a pair of white wings and a halo on her – but it was probably due to the excess of blood that had flowed into his head. He didn't reconsider that option, though, and started saying a prayer that should've sounded something like O, pure-white angel, have thee come to take thy away from the almighty lords kingdom?, but it didn't come out that way, as the blood still hadn't made it's way through the head. It sounded more like random… sputterings, mumblings… well, that's irrelevant.

Fuck, having a murderous, vicious puppeteer on top of you first thing in the morning isn't an ideal waking-up. There ain't no justice in this world no more.

"So, how's your day been, Naruto?" Itachi asked him, biting on an apple, generally looking disinterested. Which he was most of the time.

"Well, excluding the assassination-attempt on me by a hot-headed freak in face-paint, and excluding all the nagging I've got from most of the population of this village because word came out yesterday that I'm going out with a Hyuuga far younger than myself, it's… it's been great." Naruto sighed. "Oh, and I almost forgot to exclude one particular sparring-match between me and my father, w-h-i-c-h I completely and utterly LOST." Naruto banged his head in the table simultaneously with the last word, that was located somewhere deep in the Uchiha-compound, in the head-familys house.

Sasuke leaned forward to his elder brother, and whispered into his ear. "I think we shouldn't ask him those things." Itachi answered, whispering too.

"…why not?"

Sasuke sighed. His brother and Naruto were equally dumb on that point; not being able to read other people. Itachi could understand Naruto if he wanted to and concentrated enough on it – but it seemed as though he didn't really care at that moment. "Because," lowering his voice further, "when he's like this, he's suicidal."

Itachi seemed to ponder, eyes looking slightly up and eyebrows knitted, and then took on his normal, neutral expression. "So? … Sasuke, don't tell me you don't think we can stop him. Let's just play around with him, for now."

Sasuke just stared at his older brother, not believing he would joke about something like that. "No. We won't. You quit." Itachi sighed, admitting defeat, and put down his half-eaten apple on the table, and laid down. Sasuke glared at him with crossed arms, and said, "and eat up the apple." Itachi snorted, but obeyed.

"You really have no guilt when it comes to Sasuke, do you?" Naruto asked his companion on the left of him, walking down the road leading to the biggest hot-spring area in the neighborhood. Itachi had proposed going there, just to be away from his little brother. He could be a real nag at times.

He shrugged. "Should I have? Little brother's are made for torturing," the long-haired pigtailed man answered, keeping a steady view of the road ahead, ignoring the whisperings and looks of awe the citizens were giving the two. Tucking his two hands in his pockets, he yawned.

"Well, dumping the responsibility of being heir on him and saying that it'd be best if he consulted Fugaku-sama because his skills of taking over the clan is lacking, making it impossible for him to follow us because of his enormous ambition… it's not really nice, is it?" He tried to explain, pitying his other friend who they had left behind. Sorry that I abandoned you, Sasuke, he thought with irony. He liked to torture him, too, so he understood Itachi a little.

"Sasuke is more suited for it than I ever was." Itachi said, waving casually at a group of ten-year-old girls, making them swoon. Three enemies eliminated. Good work, myself, feeling proud. "Not to forget that I get to keep you all for myself, of course," he deliberately spurted out loudly when walking up next to a group of enthusiastical Itachi-fans, making them stiffen and open their eyes wide; effectively dealing a deadly dose of an unreachable himself to them.

Naruto laughed, as soon they passed them. "How many victims have you faulted this week, Itachi?"

"Don't call them victims. They're prey," he corrected his blonde friend. "It's 57. I suppose I should thank you for the last six, as always. I'll invite you to dinner sometime, mother has been asking for you lately."

"Oh, that'd be nice. Mikoto-san's cooking are the best!" Naruto excluded, feeling a bit cheery. Tapping Itachi slightly on the shoulder to get his attention, he said: "Tell her that I'd be more than happy to join you," smiling, and then turning left with his companion, entering the hot-spring Meitou.

After they had taken off their clothes and wrapped their waists with towels, they headed to the baths.

Itachi wasn't perverted. And he wasn't interested in girls (or guys for that matter), but he refused to visit a hot-spring that was gender-split. Always public baths, joined ones. Naruto figured it was one of those annoying things you just had to do, had to obey, no matter how unnecessary or brain-squashing they were. Like locking your door three times, repeatedly saying goodnight, can't eat without the chopsticks on the top of the bowl… things like that. Naruto wasn't a pervert either, not like his ex-teacher… wherever that erotic-obsessed hermit was.

"Pff, what's a snooty brat like you doing here?" A female voice said. Anko… of all places… "Peeping on women beyond your reach, you pathetic worm?"

"None o' your business, and no," he answered the purple-haired kunoichi, who was located in the hot-spring, glaring at him. Sitting down: "Now, let's see… if my memory serves me right, Orochimaru-sensei didn't taught you to summon the gate of Rashomon. Is that correct? Gotta check, you know, in case I gotta save his ass, and you're unable to." He snickered. It was so obvious to anyone that he was prepared for these arguments.

Anko fumed, but before she could retort, a red-haired girl snapped. "Shut up, fuckers, you're ruining my day off."

"SHUT IT, TAYUYA!" The two other exclaimed.

Anko spoke up directly afterwards. "You've got nothing on us; can't even touch us, snotnosed brat!"

"And your opinion doesn't even MATTER! I can't believe Orochimaru-sensei gave you that shitty old flute, but I guess it suits you, you fucking maniac," Naruto said, getting worked up, looking ready to devour ANYTHING thrown in his way.

Now, any normal person wouldn't argue the least with Tayuya of Orochimaru's Five. And any sane, let alone life-loving, peacemaking person wouldn't call her a maniac. "Wh-what did you say, you damn bastard! My three Doki's, my flute and the Genbusou Kyoku could kick your fancy asses over to the fucking Mist's!" She held her hands against his throat, trying to strangle him. He gasped for air, like he had done in the morning with the puppeteer, but this was far worser.

Then a skinny sick-looking arm shoot out from the water below, and grabbed Tayuya's left arm. She stiffened up. Then another creepy arm shoot out from the water too, and grabbed Naruto's right arm, which was trying to stop the maniac's left arm from killing him. He stiffened, and he felt dread. Not the kind of dread Tayuya or Kankuro could inflict in him; this got him horrified. His eyes searched for help from Tayuya, but he noticed that she, too, had that same look of helplessness in her. There was no way fingers could be that cold, not in a fucking hot-spring!

They slowly turned their sights to where the source of the arms was. All they saw was the pair of arms, and bubbles rising to the surface. Then the water got darker and darker, freaking the two out. But they couldn't move; they couldn't even scream, they were that terrified. Then… out of the water… a head ascended…

Naruto screamed; they both screamed. "AAAAAH, Hayate is going to kill us, kill us, he's going to eat us!" Hayate looked… well, like Hayate.

"You're scaring the sharks," and coughed. "Will you…" Cough, "stop fighting?" … Cough.

They looked like they were about to cry, and nodded eagerly. He then appeared to be thinking for about two seconds, then let go. They quickly swam/waded to Anko, who along with Itachi just had sat there observing, and fell into her arms, sobbing.

Naruto: "Hayate, he…" Sniff.

Tayuya: "He, he…" Sniff, sniff.

Both: "He tried to kill us, Anko-senpaaai!" And they burst out crying on her chest.

Which peeved her off.

"Get off, get off!" She mentioned. "These two big babies of mine isn't for you to use as pillows to run to whenever something scary happens, you no-talent kids!" She pushed them away, and hit them both in the face simultaneously. "What kinds of ninjas are you?" But to be honest, Hayate was pretty creepy, and scared even her.

Naruto, as Tayuya, was tending his broken nose. "Gat dammit, jo didit havv to hitt so haad." Naruto wiped his mouth free from blood that had flowed down from his air-intake, studied the crimson fluid and said: "Haven't seen you around lately, Hayate. And I thank the gods for that…" He mumbled the last part out.

Hayate came up behind him, lay his hands on the blonde's shoulders, and rested his head on the right hand. "The journey to the hot-and-dangerous-without-water-land will be long." Lifted up his head and brought a hand to his mouth and coughed, then returned to the previous settlement. Closing his eyes.

After awhile, Itachi, which had been quite anonymously so-far, deemed the sick shinobi to be asleep, much to the dismay of his blonde brother-in-arms.

"…so tell me why I'm here again," Naruto said, feeling tired and not really eager to having been called to the meeting. He moaned.

"What are you, deaf? Didn't you hear what he said the first time?" Namiashi Raido let out, feeling irritated. Raido was a creature that had been created solely to tease and mock Uzumaki Naruto. He had decided that from the first moment he saw him – he was so. fucking. fun. to make fun of. He was hilarious, a real gift from above, Raido used to think.

But no-one thought like him. Naruto wasn't a funny guy.

"Three words, son; Chuunin-exam, you, examiner, next week, the Sand." His glare pointed at his son sharpened to that of a lethal spear. "And you better be there."

Naruto couldn't take his father seriously. He had never done that; it was absurd. All his old man seemed to be doing, was screwing around. Screwing around too much. With things that didn't really matter. And he thought he was funny, too. Naruto had a hard time figuring out when his father joked or not – despite having lived with him for the good part of his life. He was hard to read – but then again, Naruto didn't understand most people.

So, when he excluded coldly that "he'd better be there", Naruto wasn't too sure whether to take that to heart, or if it was another lame… whatever you could call it. But he answered, all right, in a way that just couldn't be misinterpreted. "I understand, Hokage-sama."

Then, after the meeting was adjourned, he heard the Hokage complain about a "sick'n'weird peep" not showing up.

But Naruto knew elsewise. You didn't notice him, did you? Father… And chuckled his way out.

Authors notes
I decided to stop being lazy and actually check the reviews. I've had this chapter finished for months, so here it is. Don't know when the next chapter is going to come out, but I won't abandon it. :) Thanks for all the positive reactions.