Alexandria
All the things she should have said were hanging on her lips as she listened to the sound of Daryl's motorcycle getting further and further away. She wished she could write them all down on little pieces of paper and let them float away in the wind. That she thought she might be pregnant. And if she was she was sure it was his. That she had been dreaming every night about the beach in Mexico. She should have told him she loved him. And needed him. She should have begged him to stay. But instead she said nothing, not even goodbye. She had stood on the sidwalk holding her son and just watched him leave. Now RickyJo had a sinking feeling in her stomach. And her heart was beating in her chest like a wild flapping bird. If something bad happened to him out there it was going to be all her fault for letting him leave.
She held her son and hugged him tight. When she looked down the street, she saw the church. RickyJo had never really been to church. Her grandfather had not been a religious man. While he had never come out and explained it all, she knew enough to know that his father had been fanatically religious and had used that as an excuse to beat his children regularly. But the church seemed to be drawing her. RickyJo needed a quiet place to sit and think and some advice and comforting words from someone not directly involved in her situation. She walked inside the small building. It looked nice and it was quiet and cool inside. She let MJ get down so he could explore and then she walked up towards the front of the room.
She wasn't really sure what to do so she sat down in one of the chairs. Her son was spooked by the big empty room and he came running over to climb up in her lap. MJ was pawing at her shirt so she pulled it down to nurse him. Then she started trying to sort out her thoughts and emotions. Father Gabriel walked out of his office and saw the woman sitting there. He knew everyone seemed to like her fine, but RickyJo made him very uncomfortable. She always had her breasts out and made no attempt to cover them when she fed her baby. Even being in the lord's house didn't seem to affect her. And she had so many tattoos, it was clear she had lived a very sinful life. And everyone knew she had sex with both Daryl and his brother. Here she was trying to tempt even him into having lustful thoughts. Well it wasn't going to work. Since she wasn't going to leave on her own, he figured he better find out what she wanted.
Merle had been with the contruction crew all morning. Things were going much smoother now that Abraham was in charge. The guy before him had not been all bad, but like all these people he was jumpy and scared of the biters. Merle had not been able to believe that they had been so quick to abandon one of their own people. That kind of bullshit would not have been acceptable even in Woodbury. That Tobin guy had at least had the balls to man up and step down as leader. Merle had been surprised about that. Most men he knew would not have given up a position of power so easily.
Things had been going well all morning, and the team had gotten so much done they decided to break and go back home for lunch. Merle was glad since he wanted to go back home and check on RickyJo. She had been acting a little off lately. He couldn't put his finger on it, but she just seemed sad. He had also noticed that she and Daryl had not been speaking to each other. This made him nervous because it meant that they had been fighting, which meant that they had something to fight about.
Merle walked towards the house and went up the stairs and into the living room. Jessie from next door was sitting on the couch, holding his son. And RickyJo had her head in the woman's lap, just sobbing her eyes out. Merle assumed this was because Daryl left. His brother had stopped by the site on his way out. Merle kneeled down.
"He will be okay," he told RickyJo,"Daryl can take care of Daryl." He was surprised when Jessie spoke up.
"Thats not what shes upset about," the woman said. Merle leaned back on his heel and looked at her. She had his attention.
"Just let it be Jessie," RickyJo told her.
"No," Jessie said. "RickyJo went to see that preacher. Gabriel. She wanted someone to talk to. And that horrible little man said all kinds of nasty things to her." Now Merle was getting pissed off.
"What in the hell did he say to you," he asked RickyJo. She tried to mop up her face a little.
"Nothing just forget it," she said. She had already told Jessie and she didn't want to have to repeat the horrible things again. And Merle was just going to get mad and then do something crazy. Jessie spoke up again.
"He told her god was punishing her for being a fornicator and a sinner. He said god took her family because she didn't deserve them after she had been eating human flesh. And he told her she was a lustful woman for having her baby out of wedlock. He said she brought everything that happened to her down on herself for living in sin," Jessie said. She was so mad about what the man had said she was ready to punch his face in herself. This poor woman had been raped and held hostage by cannibals and had her face slashed and had to give birth in a prison cell and thats what that man was going to say to her. From what Jessie had seen, RickyJo was a kind and generous person. She was a wonderful and caring mother. That man was a disgusting prude who needed his head examined. Who even cared these days if someone had a baby before they got married. That was like straight out of the 1950's.
Merle looked at Jessie and then at RickyJo's red splotchy face. She was leaning back on the couch now, and MJ had crawled over and was hugging her around the neck. Wrapping her arms around him, she hugged him tightly. Merle got up and stalked out of the house. Apparently there was someone around here that needed a talking to. Who did that asshole preacher think he was, talking to his wife like that. That fucking guy let his entire congregation die outside because he was too scared to open a door. If RickyJo had been there she would have done everything she could to save every single one of those people. And then to imply that she was a whore. She was a fucking virgin until she was twenty six years old for christ sake.
Father Gabriel looked up to see Merle in the doorway of the church. The man did not look happy. He started thinking about the things he had said earlier to this man's wife. She must have gone back and told him. This was not going to go well.
"What can I do for you?," Gabriel asked the man. Merle walked in, getting closer and closer to the man. Then he spoke to him very quietly.
"What in the fuck you say to my wife?," Merle asked him. The man didn't answer. He just kept backing up and stammering like an idiot. This guy was really a pussy of the worst kind. He had the balls to talk all that shit to RickyJo but he wasn't going to say shit now. Merle pulled his arm back. First he had meant to punch the asshole out but then he changed his mind and slapped him hard across the face like the little bitch he was. The man fell to the floor like the little pussy he was, crying and sniveling. Then he started scrambling towards the door. Merle followed him until he was in the doorway at the top of the steps and then he gave the fucker a hard kick in the ass, sending him flying out the door and down the steps when he skidded out on the pavement.
There were some people across the street and one of them screamed. Then they ran off yelling for Deanna. Merle didn't care. He waited until the man tried to get up and kicked him again. Michonne and Sasha came running down the street from the direction the people had taken off in. Merle figured he was only going to get one more good hit before they got there so he grabbed the man by the front of his shirt and dragged him up off the ground.
"You don't talk to RickyJo, you don't even look at her," he told the man, "you fucking understand me?" The man nodded like a bobblehead. Merle let him go and then cocked his arm back and punched his fucking face in. The man hit the ground like a sack of flour. Michonne was coming at him so Merle stepped back and held his hands up. No way did he want to get kicked in the balls again by that bitch.
"What the hell are you doing?," Michonne yelled at him.
"Fucker deserved it," he told her, "said a bunch of shitty things to RickyJo. Told her it was her fault she got raped because she was acting like a slut." Sasha was on the ground checking Father Gabriel's pulse.
"Are you serious?," she asked.
"You think I made that shit up?," Merle spit at her. Michonne just shook her head. If Gabriel had said all that he had been on the recieving end of a well deserved ass beating as far as she was concerned. And she doubted Merle would make something like that up. Now Deanna and a bunch of her moron groupies were running down the street.
"What is going on here?," Deanna asked.
"They were fighting," Michonne told her, pointing to the two men. Merle was surprised Michonne seemed to be covering for him a little. He figured she would be the first one to throw him under the bus. "Its all under control," Michonne added. Then she turned to Merle. "Go home and stay there," she said firmly.
"Got to go back to work," he told her. She gave him an evil look.
"Then go back to work," she said, "and stay away from Father Gabriel." Merle shrugged and headed off down the street. He had said all he cared to say to the man already. Gabriel was starting to come to so Sasha and Michonne dragged him up onto his feet and put their shoulders under him. They started walking him down to the infirmary. Deanna followed them.
"This kind of behavior is not acceptable," Deanna told Michonne.
"It won't happen again," Michonne assured her. Deanna seemed content with that, and she set off to go back to whatever she had been doing before the excitement. Once she was out of earshot Sasha spoke to Michonne.
"You bet it won't happen again," she said. She guessed Gabriel was going to be pissing a little in his pants if he even looked at RickyJo again. Michonne wondered what had gotten into him in the first place. She and RickyJo had saved the man back at the church. And RickyJo had never been anything but nice to him. In fact, she had stuck up for him when other members of the group had been saying he wasn't pulling his weight. So why would he say such horrible things to her. Michonne wasn't sure but you could bet she had some questions for the man once he was awake.
Carl and Sammie had not been given jobs. They were expected to go to school in the afternoon but other than that they were free to do as they pleased. Sammie loved the horse that RickyJo had caught and they had spent most of the morning riding double on it all over town. Carl liked the horse, but not as much as he liked having Sammie close to him and being able to put his arms around her. When RickyJo saw them holding hands she had pulled the boy aside and had a few words with him. Carl still thought about what she had said to him. He wasn't sure if he understood all of it. She had told him she knew he liked Sammie, but he needed to remember that she had been through a terrible ordeal and that he needed to be considerate and gentle with her. He would never hurt Sammie, so the talk had confused him. He had been thinking on it for a few days and had finally guessed that she must have been talking about sex.
Neither of Carl's parents had ever talked to him about sex, but he had the general idea of what it was. And he had gotten a pretty good idea of what it looked like when he snuck a few peeks at the people that were having it back when they had been on the road. There were a few things he didn't understand. Like why Rosita and Maggie did not get pregnant after they had it. And why RickyJo wasn't pregnant again. He thought sex was how babies were made. And he sure did not understand why anyone would want to put their mouths on someone else's private parts. That was just disgusting. If this had still been normal life, Carl might have been able to get his answers from the internet, but with things as they were, he was left with a lot of unanswered questions.
Sammie knew what sex was. Those men had made her have it with them and it had been terrible and very very painful. At first, she was terrified for any of the women in the group that might have looked like they were thinking about having it. But she noticed they did not look scared. When she got brave enough to get a peek, she saw they did not look like they were being hurt either. If it was that terrible, she didn't think they would want to keep doing it. And she was starting to have some feelings she didn't understand. A few nights a week she would wake up from dreams with her face flushed and a throbbing feeling between her legs, wanting something and not knowing what it was.
She liked Carl and it made her feel good when he hugged her or held her hand. And when he had been riding behind her on the horse with his arms around her, she had liked that too. Carl was her friend. She trusted him and knew he would never hurt her the way those men had hurt her. Several times she had tried to talk to him about her feelings, but she didn't know where to start. They were sitting out in the back of the safe zone where there weren't any houses. The horse was grazing on grass and poking through the garden, looking for choice tidbits to nibble on. It was nice not to have to worry about the walkers, but they had been such a constant in her life for so long, Sammie almost missed them. And she was worried if she got too comfortable here, she might forget how to defend herself. Or she might stop constantly listening for them, which could get her killed just as easily.
"Want to climb over the wall and go exploring?," she asked Carl. That sounded good to Carl.
"You got your gun?," he asked her. Sammie nodded and pulled up her pantleg to show it to him. She kept it strapped to her ankle the way RickyJo had showed her.
"Got yours?," she asked. Carl nodded. He had his on an ankle holster as well. He didn't like it as much as the old holster he had used to keep it on his hip, but he knew here they had to hide the guns. "Lets go then," Sammie said. They both headed for the wall, finding it very easy to climb over and down the other side. Running around outside the walls was fun, and exciting. They saw a walker, so Sammie kicked its knee out and once it was down, Carl smashed its head in with a big rock. Then Sammie was wishing she had brought her empty pack with her. There was a while patch of wild raspberries that were ripe only a few feet away. Carl took off his hat and turned it upside down, smiling at her and they set off to pick the berries.
About a half hour later, they were sitting by a creek they found. Taking their shoes off, they dipped their feet in the cool water, eating the berries they had picked. It wasn't so scary out here. In fact, Sammie felt free out here. Back at the safe zone there were too many rules. Out here you could do whatever you wanted.
"Do you think we could make it out here if we had too?," Sammie asked Carl. He thought this over.
"I think we could if we were together," he answered. Then he reached over and took Sammie's hand. She smiled at him. Carl felt emboldened by her warm response. There was something he had been thinking about asking her for some time. He had learned from watching Daryl with RickyJo that if you didn't tell a girl how you felt, someone else might, and then she might decide she liked them better than you. When they had been on the road it had not seemed as important, but now that they were living in a community, where there were other boys around, he felt like he needed to stake his claim. "Sammie," he asked, "do you want to be my girlfriend?" Sammie did not need much time to think about that.
"Yes," she told him without hesitation. Now she was glad that she had not brought it up. It made her feel special that he had asked her instead of the other way around. But now they really weren't sure what they were supposed to do. They say there awkwardly for a moment, and then Sammie spoke up. "Do you think we should kiss now?," she asked. Carl thought for a brief instant and then nodded his head vigorously. He really did want to kiss her. Sammie brushed herself off and then turned her head towards him, tilting it slightly and closing her eyes. Carl looked at her. Her fingers and lips were stained from the berries. There was a lightly colored patch of freckles across the bridge of her nose that he had not noticed before. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail but a few stands had come loose and they were hanging down around her face. Carl took a deep breath and leaned in, closing his eyes when he got close. Their noses bumped and then his lips were pressed against hers. It felt a little weird, but not entirely unpleasant. They stayed that way for a few seconds and then he pulled his head back. Sammie opened her eyes and looked at him. Then they both started laughing.
"I think we better go back before everyone starts looking for us," she suggested.