Coup d'Etat
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
(Leonard Cohen)
The stars merged together in a whirlwind of heat and light.
The groom's hand rested on hers and they both absorbed the starlight; a thousand stories were reflected on the walls of the cave.
All those stories seemed to be tracing the same plot: the story of how one becomes two and two is enough. The history of the world, of the universe, of every city, of every village, of every human.
The stalactites sang a never-ending song. The stalactites sang of love.
They sang about the freedom of desire, about death that no longer exists, of life, whatever it is. That thing kicking you in the teeth until you are bleeding and throbbing, and quite surprisingly, the same thing making you fall asleep hugged by strong, warm arms. Life that you lose when you decide the path of sacrifice for others. Life that allows you to love and be loved, until, one day like any other day, or perhaps more important, you disappear.
They sang about this, the stalactites, but Rikku could not do anything else besides hearing it.
Chapter 1 - looking at love with eyes of loneliness
Rikku's fingers tapped impatiently on the smooth surface of a huge wooden desk. A pile of documents rose up to her nose. The young albhed ran a hand through her hair. One of her colored beads - the only survivor of a change of look that had slowly taken hold over the years, and that had made her definitely more ... adult - was carefully woven into her golden hair; Rikku eagerly shook off her orange leather jacket and nervously tossed it to the ground. Under it she wore a small black tank-top, a very short tight-fitting orange skirt, and, on the huge belt the albhed crest of her family: Cidolphus. She looked different, serious. I hate these clothes ... I would like to stand here naked! All these useless sheets, and not even a lil' bit of action ... Tysh! Several puffs of impatience filled the office. Leaf-green eyes scanned the documents quickly, a pen signed land concessions and authorizations and all those pieces of paper: signatures for the Princess of the Albhed herself.
A light flashed: it was the small blue sphere that Rikku had on her desk. A fantastic communication system that she had developed two years ago for New Home (yeah, about that… Albhed were never that original with naming and branding).
"Yup?"
"Your Majesty, the reminder you asked me. In an hour we should leave for Besaid". The voice of her young personal assistant echoed in the room. Besaid! It was like a high school reunion that Rikku had no desire to attend. Hi Yuna, are you happy with your brand new came-back-from-the-sea-for-no-reason Tidus? What about you, Wakka? You couldn't be happier chasing that brat of yours around the former temple, right? Oh, me? Nothing special. I manage the whole community now, as you know. Of course, I'm happy! Locked up all the friggin' day in an iron box in the Bikanel desert, planning the next economic move and trying to earn respect from those old desert fighters who still see me as a child. I am shining! Brighter than the legendary golden chocobo!
Rikku grunted in irritation. Maybe she'd rather continue dislocating her wrist by signing papers. Or mayyyyybe she simply had to disappear and change name... Hehe!
Lulu's brat's fifth birthday… Why had she agreed to go there? Because you never see your friends, Rikku. I swear you sound like him. What have you become?
"A princess! Here's what! " the young woman exclaimed, answering herself and beating her hand on the desk.
"Your Majesty? Sometimes I swear you sound crazier than a Tomberry in heat! " the invisible voice exclaimed with a crystalline laugh. Rikku completely forgot her assistant was still waiting for her to reply. That girl... does she ever get tired of joking?
"Yes, Shiruba. I'll go pack my stuff right away," Rikku replied placing her forehead on the table and exhaling a big sigh which created a small condensation on the wooden surface. Rikku observed the wood with thoughtful eyes.
Besaid… Go back to Besaid. Do I really want to go there? I would feel guilty if I didn't. Everyone expects me to go. Everyone expects to laugh with the old, hyper-active dear lil' Rikku. What a hurricane, that girl, huh? Rikku thoughtfully touched the bead on her ear. Her very long blonde hair were shaken by the desert wind that came through the half-open window... A wave of melancholy washed over her. She was not like the others... Over the years something inside her had changed, deeply. Like a big sand storm that covers an old city and infests every corner with dust, even the pizzerias and the albhed coyote rotisseries… Everything was faded inside her.
She had a recurring dream: she looked at herself lying on a bed - it could have been in the suite of a Rin's travel agency, from the light seemed the Mi'hen Highroad one - she was naked. She approached her own body and as swift as the thief she was she began fishing within herself. Her hands sank beyond the pale skin envelope that defined who she was and she began searching, searching and searching... Sometimes the dream lasted a few minutes, sometimes she felt like she spent hours stirring the inside of her body as if she herself was a dark flan, and her other self was looking for a Star Curtain. She had never found anything there...
It had been a gradual process… After the defeat of Vegnagun the Gullwings had slowly disbanded. Her father had summoned her and declared his intention to pass command to her. She was now an adult. Gippal would be her right-hand man in operational management, but every decision was up to her, Rikku Cidolphus, Princess of the Albhed people. And that was how, almost without realizing it, Rikku had started to… cool down. The heat of her adolescence - the nervous dancing, the mad jokes, the uncontrollable laughter, the tongue sticking out and the sense of rebellion - all of that had faded. I'm still young… 22 years old! 22 years old and I feel so heavy, so old…
What should I wear to the party? I have nothing to wear. Damn…
Rikku sighed loudly.
"Shiruba!" she shouted "let's go shopping!"
Rikku spent the entire journey on the open roof of her personal airship (no, not the Celsius, Borther had that with him). She silently watched the seas of Spira go along and change colors, to unite in a single infinite patch of blue. It was wonderful, the how the peaceful green was thrown into the blue and the blue was stained with black in the deepest pits of that huge single ocean that they called the Zaon Sea. The name, someone had explained to her long ago - a low voice and a red kimono crept into her memories - the name came from an ancient Yevonite scroll. Zaon - not her favorite character, she had to admit - described his love for Lady Yunalesca by comparing it to the sea that enveloped the entire continent of the known lands of Spira... She had always liked that story, and it was one of the reasons why she could accept that there was still an echo today, a small testimony of the Yevonite past of Spira. The Zaon Sea was a sign of love. Not everything that was part of the past was to be forgotten...
"Your Majesty!" Shiruba ran towards her, shaking her out of her thoughts.
The girl had become her personal assistant because among all the candidates she had been the only one to contradict her. And so was her spirit: burning as a star. Her blond hair was cut into a messy, albhed bob. Rikku had a photograph of her mother with the same cut... she had lost it during the first pilgrimage, when the Guado attacked Home, taking everything away from her. Shiruba was a shortie, but active girl; a small, cute nose dominated her constant grinning expression.
"Your Majesty! We are in Besaid! Damn all this sea, huh?! Tell me what do they cook in Besaid!? I heard they eat octopus! I hate octopus! "
"Shiruba-"
"I don't know why they may have this thing for those squishy animals!"
"Shiruba,"
"They live underwater and maybe they are food for hypello, not for us, we are not blue-skinned, aren't we?"
"Shiruba!"
The little girl looked down at the ground and squinted "Yes, your majesty." She was embarrassed. Rikku felt for a short moment a pang of guilt; Shiruba knew she had to learn to control herself, if not now at least for diplomatic and delicate situations... Just like you used to, huh little Rikku? Always chatting, always talking nonsense to cheer others up... Rikku shook her head as if to chase away that inner voice of hers, her long hair moving fluidly in the wind.
"They eat a lot of damned octopus ..." she said to the girl.
Then she turned away and walked to the deck, followed by the hopping Shiruba who reminded her to choose a dress for the party and to contact Commander Gippal that afternoon for updates on the northern excavation issue. The girl seemed to have regained her enthusiasm. Rikku gave a small smile.
"Rikkuuu!" a couple of arms lifted her up and for a second all she saw was Tidus's blond hair trying to pierce her cornea. Tidus put her down. Rikku smiled warmly at him.
"Hey big boy! Hey Yunie! " Rikku greeted her cousin with a hug; she was beautiful as always, perhaps more. A cream-colored dress fell to her ankles and her hair was now longer than her classic cut. The eyes of different colors of the former summoner lit up with tenderness.
"Rikku... You look..." Yuna's eyes inspected her.
Tidus also walked around her with a half-surprised half-mocking face "... different".
Rikku smiled awkardly and looked down at her feet.
Tidus burst into laughter "This Rikku here doesn't speak anymore! There must be a manufacturing defect! "
"Hey!" Rikku gave him a punch on the arm "No crazy talk, I'm a princess now" the girl said with irony. The three of them burst out laughing.
"So, where's the party?" Rikku pointed to Shiruba as she trudged towards them in the sand, carrying several stacked boxes with her; albhed motifs of foliage and stripes decorated those elegant boxes containing gifts, toys for little Vidina.
A huge table covered the entire village of Besaid. Rikku thought to herself that after all it was not such a difficult task to gather all of Besaid at a table: even if after Sin the village had expanded, it still had only about twenty families. The birthday of the first post-Sin child was an event for everyone. Besaid's first baby after Sin… Vidina must have a lucky star. It is so warm here.
Rikku watched Lulu and Wakka play with the baby, illuminated by the light of a thousand decorative lanterns dangling on the table; those were held up by some sort of spell, they made the village magical, more magical than the whole Spira was. There was a smell of sandalwood and toasted almonds. They all seemed so happy. Lulu was telling the story of how Wakka had put the baby's shoes backwards, and how Vidina had been frolicking around all day without noticing. She looked like a different woman, Lulu, but she still was the same intelligent, strong and poised sorceress. Her aesthetic sense hadn't changed much - the contrary would have been shocking - but there was something in her face; a fullness, a color, a light in her fire-colored eyes... Rikku envied her enormously. Not that she wanted to become a mother, mind you! She could barely keep her holographic kyactus alive in that video game Brother had given her.
Who knows what Shiruba was doing on the airship?
Yuna sat down next to her.
"Rikku, why are you all alone here? Wakka has been asking me for hours to convince you to sing with him those old funny songs" Yuna looked at the man who caught her eye and mimed a microphone with a baguette to Rikku. Rikku laughed and shook her head no. Wakka, cheeks flushed due to the Calm Lands' wine, was pulled by Jash to dance as soon as he glared her. Rikku shook her head and looked at her hands.
"So, Yunie. Tomorrow it's the other big day. Not so excited to experience the cold of the Gagazet, again, tho"
Yuna smiled "I'm so happy for Kihmari! It's good that the two parties are so close together, right? So you can't escape! "
"Yunie ..."
"I know, I know, I know! Princess of the albhed and everything…" Yuna threw her hands in the air. Since when was she so sure of yourself? It must have been Tidus' return.
"... Rikku ..." Yuna's voice became more tempered, just like the Yuna the summoner, the sweet hope of Spira.
"Rikku are you happy?"
Rikku laughed out loud. Very. Very. Strong.
"SURE I'M HAPPY!"
Inner Rikku wore a melancholic expression. Was she happy? Everyone was so happy, she felt embarrassed not to be. Lulu had repeated to her several times during the evening how much she envied her. She was the only one of them who still traveled so much having adventures. Plus, she was in command of the albhed people! A leader! An independent and strong woman! Money, power, beauty. She was practically a celebrity as an ex-guardian, ex-spherehunter and princess, and she swore that she saw last week in Luka a couple of girls with just her haircut and an outfit very similar to hers. So why was she envying Lulu instead? Rikku frowned slightly.
Yuna gave her a sweet kiss on the cheek, then looked up to search Tidus with her eyes. He was confabulating something with the Aurochs. Yuna wrinkled her nose "Better go and stop his genius ideas before they become terribly stupid actions. But we're not done here!" She threatened her.
Rikku laughed and nodded. Yuna walked away. They haven't changed much. They are just… happy. Why do I feel like I'm watching them from the highest bell tower in Bevelle? I feel so ... alone.
A thick red jacket covered Rikku all the way to her ankles, but did not prevent her from shivering from the cold; she was still a girl from the desert. On her first pilgrimage, Rikku had suffered the Gagazet lil' happy climb more than anyone else. That cold was not like the freezing wind in the night desert either; it was something more, it went straight to your bones and stayed there. Rikku looked around and sipped her mandrake tea. Everyone was waiting for the arrival of Kimahri and his betrothed. That's right! A wedding! Kimahri's Wedding! In a cave! Rikku smiled to himself.
"I wonder… how a Ronso wedding ceremony is like" Lulu told her, in her usual calm tone. Rikku shrugged. A ronso woman came by to withdraw the empty cup from her hands. Rikku was sorry to lose the heat it gave off.
"Maybe they will fight with their horns until they light a fire..." said the albhed. Lulu laughed.
"You seem back to be yourself," the mage stated with interest. Rikku gave her a strange look. She had a long black fur coat, as elegant as goth. Yuna - wonderful in a swirl of pink feathers - was maternally fixing Tidus's hair and Wakka, in a long blue coat, held Vidina in his arms and showed him the stalactites.
"This jacket is reminiscent of Sir Auron's," in Lulu's tone there was a note of melancholy, "he is the only one missing today. Not that he would've come... "
"Of course he would," Rikku replied with blank eyes, "he knew I would pester him to death if he missed Kimahri's wedding."
Lulu nodded. She gave her another strange look, this time more ... soft. She pulled up her fur and started to walk away. Just as Lulu was moving towards Wakka and the little one, several Ronso entered the room; they were dressed in traditional clothing: long skirts of feathers and necklaces of all kinds, beautiful stones in the colors of the stars, and large shoulder pads to cover the tall blue-furred bodies.
Kimahri and his bride entered with them. Silence fell over the entire cave.
She was… beautiful. Rikku had never thought of using this adjective for a woman Ronso – that's racism, stupid Rikku, and from you! - but she was splendid. Several gray feathers framed her shoulders, and her long, ice-colored hair were gathered in braids and stoned with raw opals. She shone in the cave like nothing else. A series of intertwining fabrics covered her breasts and descended on her hips, opening into several strips of white organza, which revealed her shapely legs. Kimahri held her hand.
Few tears filled Rikku's eyes at the simple gesture.
The song of the Ronso filled the air while fumes and incense perfumed the cave with a woody and flowery smell. Rikku felt as if drawn into another dimension. The ronso language, usually so hard, had become an intriguing, slow, dark, passionate litany. Kimahri and his wife - Mersa was his name - stood in the center of the cave. All of them, almost naturally, surrounded them. The two began to sing and the walls began to glow with starlight, as they were alive, and joined the love song of the couple. The whole cave vibrated with a primal force that Rikku had never felt with such clarity. The words - she had no way of understand the meaning - drew very clear concepts; Rikku's heart tightened in the awareness of that love so clear and pure, of that eternal simplicity that was now reflected in the light of the stars that filled everything.
Rikku had never seen anything like it. Even tho… someone told her ... she didn't understand at the time, but that was what he meant, no doubt ...
"How do they shine so much? I've never seen something shine like this! "
Rikku raised her nose towards the light roads of the Macalania woods. The others were asleep, and Auron was on guard shift with her. Both were sitting with their backs against large logs, illuminated by the moon.
The legendary guardian chuckled, hidden by the collar of his red overcoat "You've never been to a ronso wedding, then."
Rikku turned to the man and a shining curiosity filled her eyes.
"Auron! What is a ronso wedding like?! Tell me Auron, tell me please! Kimahri is such a mopey guy, Aurooooon! He will never tell me!"
A tiny laugh shook Auron's low, vibrant voice. "If you are lucky enough, one day you will see it with your own eyes; you already have a mopey ronso friend, right?"
Rikku pouted, he rose an eyebrow.
"Do you think Kimahri would invite me?"
"Of course."
"And would you come, Auron?"
The guardian returned to his usual serious self. He didn't answer, just got up. "Stay here, I'll check the east side for a few miles."
Rikku nodded.
He wouldn't come.
The trembling tears in Rikku's eyes made the magic of the stars in the Gagazet cave a single milky sea on her corneas. Of course he wasn't coming to Kimahri's wedding. The light continued to dance on the cave walls. Rikku felt pierced by the sharpest nostalgia. It was like disconnecting abruptly from that flow of love, which had now kicked her out of the house, or maybe it was she who did it, took her things and ran away, away from that universal and primal clarity that the light of the cave presented them.
Kimahri took Mersa by the hand, and they absorbed all the light, which lingered for a few moments in their eyes before disappearing behind the pupils.
Now I know how it is, Auron.
End of Chapter 1
Hello there! I'm Evey Zonk and this is my first serious attempt at writing a fanfic in english (which is not my first language, so... yeah... I'm sorry if it's a bit wobbly!)
I hope you enjoy it tho!
I still don't know where the story will take me, I guess we shall see together! I hope someone outthere is reading me! Lemme know whatcha thinkin' about this! Much love and kisses,
Evey.