** If you have read this far, shoot me a review and let me know what you think. Remember this story is rated M for Mature, and as always I own nothing from The Walking Dead. **
Alexandria
Her son had woken her before dawn. But thankfully he had drifted back to sleep while she fed him, and she had been able to slide him carefully back into his bed without waking him. Normally, RickyJo would have just gotten up for the day, but she had been feeling more tired than usual over the last week. She had tried making herself some strong coffee a few days before but the smell of it, which she usually loved, turned her stomach and sent her flying into the bathroom to empty its contents into the toilet. In fact, the very thought of the smell of coffee was enough to make her feel light headed again. So instead of rising early and sipping her coffee on the back porch in the quiet of the very early morning, she climbed back into bed. She snuggled in close to Merle, trying to absorb some of the body heat that always seemed to radiate from him when he slept. Minding her injured toes, she put one leg over him, and fell alseep with her head on his chest.
Merle woke up, pleasantly surprised to find that he was not waking up alone for once. For a moment he thought maybe he was just up early, but the clock said eight, so that meant RickyJo and the little critter were sleeping late. And the kid was still in his own bed, not hogging their bed with his bony little elbows and knees in Merle's back. Though he had to admit, RickyJo always got the worst of the bed sharing situtation. No matter how or where she lay, MJ was on her like white on rice. Once Merle had woken up and seen the kid sleeping on top of her head like a damn cat.
Reaching under the sheets, he found her knee and ran his hand up the length of her thigh. She had a little pair of soft cotton shorts on and nothing else. Whatever shirt she had on when they went to bed the night before must have gotten tossed when she got up in the night to feed the baby, because as he slid his hand up to her waist and around to rub her back, he felt nothing but the softness of her skin. And up near her shoulders, he traced the tiny circular scars that covered the tops of her shoulders and the back of her neck. Some of them had faded so much over time that they were barely visible. The ones on that decorated her stomach and cleavage were still angry and red looking like the marks on her face. It still hard to look at them without feeling anger and hatred for the man that had left them there and for a moment, he hugged her to him tightly, wishing he could have shielded her from everything that had happened.
Now she was starting to stir, yawning and rubbing at her eyes. With his hand under her chin, Merle tilted her head back so he could kiss her. She could feel him hard against the inside of her thigh and she rocked against him, grinding herself against his hip. Pulling away from his kiss, she rolled towards the edge of the bed and checked on her son to make sure he was still asleep. Not that he would know what he was looking at, but she still didn't think he needed to be watching his parents having sex. He was still fast alseep, so she rolled on her back and lifted her hips, pushing her shorts down to her knees and then kicking them off under the sheets. Following her example, Merle took his pants off and tossed them across the room towards the laundry basket.
He started to roll on top of her, but he felt her hands on his chest, pushing him back down onto his back. She flashed him a mischievous smile and disappeared under the sheets. A few seconds later he felt her mouth on him. There were many things about being in bed with RickyJo that were unique to her. But how passionate she was when she was giving out head was by far his favorite. Most girls would do it, and some would even do it without being told, but he had never really met one that seemed to enjoy it. Not like she did anyway.
First, she put her mouth everywhere, instead of just bobbing up and down on the end of his dick. And then there was that weird but amazing side to side thing she did with her tounge. She took her time with what she was doing too, instead of being in a rush to get him off so she could get off. Deciding she needed some air, she tossed off the sheets. The rush of cool air against the parts of him that were wet with her spit sent a delicious shiver up his back. And then her mouth was gone and she was swinging one leg over to straddle him, replacing her mouth with the only part of her that felt better wrapped around him.
She had already been aroused when she woke up, and it didn't take her long before she could feel herself release, the spasms rocking through her, making her bite down on her lip to keep from moaning too loudly. Pulling her down against his chest, Merle bent his knees, pumping into her hard and fast. Now she was holding on tight to his shoulders, and when he came, he could feel her walls tightening around him for the second time. They lay together for a moment. He liked the feel of her weight on top of him. Unlike other women that he couldn't wait to get away from, she never felt too heavy.
When she felt like she could breathe again, RickyJo rolled off him and onto her side, facing away from him. Merle rolled onto his side and put his arm around her, pulling her close and kissing her neck and shoulders. Having gotten over the fear that he might not want her near him after he was done a long time ago, RickyJo enjoyed the closeness and the feel of his knees tucked in behind hers, so much of their skin touching that she felt like they were almost one person. She was glad he had not wanted to leave to go off on some crazy job for the people here. And it struck her in that moment that she knew he never would. Because he didn't give one rats ass for anyone here except for her and her son. Merle could be a pain in the ass sometimes. Challenging, he's not being an ass he is just challenging. But she knew he was as good to her as he knew how to be. And it occured to her that maybe she had not been being very nice to him. Sneaking around with Daryl behind his back and all. And the truth was he had done nothing to deserve it.
Merle could feel her body tense up, and she swallowed hard a few times, then wiped at her eyes. He was hoping she might tell him what was bothering her, and also praying she wouldn't. He had a pretty good guess at what it was anyway. For now, he just held her tight against him.
"I did something really shitty," she finally spit out. He choked back the inappropriate jokes he wanted to make and thought about what he should say.
"What like fucking my little brother behind my back?," he asked in a tone he hoped wasn't going to start a fight. RickyJo knew he was bluffing. But his question startled her anyway. She knew he suspected what had happened, but if he had any proof, Daryl would have gotten a punch to the face before now. She made no move to get away from him or turn. If he got a look at her face, there would be no question anymore of what was going on.
"What do you think you know?," she asked.
"I know he ain't much for personal hygiene," Merle said, "and I can smell him on ya sometimes." Merle waited to see if she was going to try denying that. When she didn't he asked her what he had been wondering for some time. "Was it only that one time at the cabin, or have ya been fuckin' him on the regular?" RickyJo thought about what she wanted to say and then just decided to tell the truth. Anything he was imagining was probably a lot worse than what she was going to tell him anyway.
"It was at the cabin and once since we got here," she admitted, "the night of that stupid party." Now she waited for the rage to come. Merle had every right to be angry with her. But he didn't yell, he just asked her another question.
"You leavin' me for him then or what?," he asked. He was a little mad, but he certainly wasn't going to be stupid enough to leave her, even if she had been acting like a hillbilly tramp. That would be like repeating the dumb Daryl move that opened up the door for him to get her in the first place. She was his wife, sleeping in his bed. When it came to RickyJo, right now he had the alpha positon and he was not going to give his brother the pleasure of abdicating it willingly. She seemed shocked at his question.
"No," she told him firmly. Then she asked, "Are you going to leave me?"
"Nope," he said. She spun in his arms, cupping his face in her hands and kissing him. When she was done, she pulled back, still looking a little guilty. "Somethin' else to say there honey?," he asked her. If she had another secret, he was hoping it was that she had been sleeping around with that Tara chick that had the killer rack. Now that was something he could work with. Even that dumb blonde punching bag neighbor lady wasn't half bad looking.
"I think I'm pregnant," she said. Then she bit down on her lip when she saw his reaction. She hurried up and added the worst part, hoping it would be like ripping off a bandaid. "And I think it's Daryl's." Merle thought this over. If Daryl thought she was pregnant with his baby he was going to be hanging around here like her fucking shadow. Merle liked him better out doing recruting or whatever that homo liked to call it.
"I thought you said you only fucked him after that party?," he asked, "you lyin'?" She shook her head.
"No, it was just that one time, and at the cabin, but that was months ago. I am not that pregnant," she said.
"Well we been fucking every other day 'cept for that one," he insisted, "so if you are knocked up that baby is mine, same as MJ." RickyJo thought that over. He did have a point. She had only been with Daryl once, and some silly dream wasn't exactly proof of paternity. "Why you think it's his?," he asked. She felt stupid saying it was because of a dream.
"I just had a weird feeling after, like I knew," she said. It was kind of close to the truth.
"Don't tell that shit to Daryl," Merle told her firmly. She nodded. Even if she wanted to tell him, she wouldn't know where to start.
"You are not mad at me?," she asked. He shrugged. The truth was he was mostly relieved she wasn't leaving him. But he didn't want to tell her that. All these years, he had never been able to figure out why she wasted her time on him to begin with. Or Daryl, for that matter. She should have married that nigger she knew from college that ended up switching from running track over to football and going pro, and let him take care of her. Or found some weird genius scientist dude that wanted to talk to her about tomatoes all day. When she started in with the biology stuff, Merle couldn't even understand half of what she said. He didn't tell her any of this, and he probably never would. Instead he pulled her close and hugged her possesively against his chest.
"No," he said, "but I would 'preciate it if you could find it in yer heart to stop letting my brother put the fucking wood to ya." She laughed into his chest. He really had a way with words sometimes. "I didn't hear a yes Merle," he reminded her. She pulled back and looked at him with a sheepish grin on her face.
"I can try?," she offered. Merle wasn't sure he liked the sounds of that. He was glad she wasn't blowing smoke up his ass and making promises she couldn't keep, but the thought of her with his brother made him see red.
"Just remember," he warned her, lowering his voice, "You are my wife. And if I ever catch you with him, brother or not, I will beat his fucking ass so hard it will make what I did to that pussy Glen look like some pleasant dream to ya." She nodded. That seemed fair enough. And he knew that threatening Daryl was going to be more incentive to her to stay away from him than forcing her to make a bunch of stupid promises that she didn't mean would be. He wasn't stupid, the two of them had been close for years, and he wasn't going to be able to force her to stop caring. And he wasn't even sure he would want to even if he could. But he could make her think twice about jumping into bed with him again. "Say yes Merle," he told her. She gave him a big fake smile and batted her eyelashes at him.
"Yes Merle," she said. This seemed to appease him, because he rolled her back over so he could spoon in behind her again and hold her. This time he ran his hands over her stomach, which felt too flat to have a baby inside. No one was going to make him miss out on everything this time around. Before he could say anything else, there was a light tap at the door. Merle pulled the sheets up over them and called to the person to come in. It was Carl, holding his sister.
"I think she's hungry," he said, trying to look anywhere except at the two people on the bed that were clearly naked under the sheets. RickyJo gestured for him to bring the girl over. He handed her over awkwardly, then backed off. He paused in the doorway. "You guys better get up, everyone is waiting to talk to you about my dad." Merle groaned and covered his face with his arm. He was so sick of that dumbass cop. Shane had been pig too but at least he had some sense in his damn head. Merle had told that idiot to leave the girls alone and not to fucking get involved. Ten minutes later he had his gun out, beating that guy almost to death in front of everyone like a god damn lunatic. If everyone ended up having to turn their guns in because of him, Merle was going to give him the ass beating he had deserved years ago for cuffing him to that roof.
"We will be down in a minute," RickyJo told Carl. He nodded and backed out of the room quickly.
Rick woke up, feeling sore and tired from sleeping on a mattress on the floor. He had been confined to one of the vacant homes in the neighborhood, but he saw that at least he was just being trusted to stay there and not being guarded. Beth was up, sitting in one of the window sills, looking out into the early morning light. She had on a large thin t-shirt that belonged to him, and the way the light was shining into the window behind her, he could see the silhouette of her body through the thin fabric. Since she came back to the group from her time with that other group, he could see that she had changed. Except for the scars on her face, there were no obvious outward differences. It was more of a feeling he got from her. A hard edge to her that had not been there before. And when he made love to her now, all her little girl shyness was gone. She made every time feel like she thought it might be the last time.
Beth knew they were all coming soon. And that she should get up from her perch and get dressed before they got here. She knew the worst thing would be what their own group would have to say to Rick. Deanna probably wasn't going to do anything. Maybe she would make him give his gun back. Scold him a little. But she knew RickyJo had been gunning for him for a while now. After she had left with Merle, Rick had taken her place and started helping Shane lead the group. After Shane got killed, and they all got back together at Terminus, there had been some tension, with Rick feeling like he should be in charge. RickyJo had let him take the lead, mostly because she was still pretty messed up from her time living at Teminus. But as she had been gettting better and better, there had been more and more tension between them, which had almost broken out in violence when they were fighting about whether or not to come back to Alexandria with Aaron.
Lines had been clearly drawn in the sand. And Beth knew the numbers were not on Rick's side. Merle and Daryl had backed up RickyJo. And since Abraham was friends now with Merle, that meant she had him and Rosita. Tara and Eugene had backed her, and so had Michonne, though Michonne might have only taken her side because she agreed with her that time. Rick really only had her, plus Carol, Glen and Maggie. And he really only had Glen because he still hated Merle. Even Glen had not agreed about not coming here. Noah, Sasha and Bob had mostly stayed neutral. And that preacher guy, no one cared what he thought anyway. And from what Beth had seen at that ladies meeting, RickyJo seemed to have Deanna to back her up now too. Whatever she decided was going to happen to Rick for what he did yesterday was probably going to be the final word. And that scared the shit out of Beth.
She thought about the small baby that she knew had been growing inside her for quite some time. She had not told anyone yet. Not even Rick. If he thew a fit about whatever they told him, and wanted to leave, even she was not going to be able to go with him. He was going to have to keep a cool head and take whatever punishment was doled out, and Beth wasn't sure that was something he could do.
"What are you thinking about over there," he asked her softly from where he was lying on the mattress. Beth sighed.
"I was thinking maybe you ought to lay low for a while," she told him. He started in about how right he was again, like she knew he would. If he tried this approach with RickyJo it was not going to go well for him. Beth cut him off. "I'm pregnant," she said. He stopped talking and stared at her. Then he was on his feet, crossing the room to pull her into his arms. "RickyJo doesn't want you as the leader," she said into his chest. She could hear him sucking in his breath to start off on another tirade so she quickly cut him off. "It doesn't matter if she is right or wrong, she has the numbers," Beth said. And you should never have whipped that gun out in front of Deanna, that was just plain stupid. "You might need to swallow your pride for now and go along with her," Beth told him. Beth saw the girls with her at that meeting yesterday, they were all going to back her up, maybe even Maggie. And the guys would follow their lead. Beth was hoping Daryl would get back before this went down, he had a lot of influence over RickyJo. And unlike his brother, he did not have a personal vendetta against Rick.
"But I am right," he insisted, "these people are weak and they are leaving the town open to attack." Now Beth knew he needed a little tough love. Straight shooting as her daddy always liked to call it.
'It doesn't matter if you are right," she said, "because you made yourself look crazy yesterday. No no one is going to take what you say seriously." Beth turned to look back out the window. Speak of the devil, here she came down the street. She was by herself, which surprised Beth. She had thought the woman would bring at least Merle along to back her up. "Here she comes you better get dressed."
RickyJo sat down on the mattress and started nursing her son, waiting until Beth left before she started talking. Rick sat down across from her, crossing his legs indian style like they used to do in elementary school. RickyJo looked awfully relaxed for someone who was about to lay the hammer down on him. She stretched her shoulders out and covered her mouth to yawn.
"Sorry, excuse me," she said, yawning again.
"Tired?," Rick asked her. She nodded. That was going to lead in well to the first thing she had to say.
"We had a meeting this morning," she started, "and I am going to tell you the same thing I told them." Then she thought about that. "Actually I made up a more polite excuse for them. I am just going to tell you the truth." Rick nodded. This was actually sounding more interesting than he thought it would be. The truth was, he had never spent much alone time with RickyJo. She made him a little uncomfortable. She was the type of woman that he just did not understand.
"My personal life is a fucking mess," she admitted. "I am pregnant again and I don't even know who the father is for sure this time." Rick tried to control his expressions but her open admission had shocked him a little. She rested her head in her hand for a moment then went on. "I am in charge of the gardening and I take it very seriously. There isn't much point to securing this place if everyone inside it is going to starve." Rick nodded. He had not really thought about it that way but she did have a point. RickyJo was good at thinking long term, she always had been. She took another pause and switched MJ over to her other breast. "I have MJ to worry about too. I can't take on leading this group right now." She stopped and let that sink in. Rick now understood that the rest of the group had asked her to take over. They had lost faith in him.
"I told them if you agree to stay on, I would advise you like I used to do for Shane," she said. That took a lot for her to say, and Rick knew it. She had to put aside all the angry feelings she was still holding onto over what he did to Merle, try to forget about the bad decisions he had made, and think about what was best for the group. They needed to stay together to stay strong. If there was a divide between her and Rick, it would break the group. And they were stronger together. "But you actually have to take my advice, like Shane did," she added.
"I can work with that," Rick told her. He had never thought about taking RickyJo on as his right hand, mostly because he knew she didn't like him much. But if she was willing to work together for the good of the group, then he supposed he ought to give it a shot. "So what should we do about yesterday?," he asked her. If she wanted to give advice, she might as well start there.
"I am not sure," she said, "I was thinking you should just say sorry for taking the gun and make up some excuse, but Merle said we should take this opportunity and just tell them we all have guns and we are not turning them in." Then she added, "and Michonne is really mad at all of us for taking the guns and not telling her. Her and Merle got into it again." Rick laughed. Michonne and Merle were like oil and water. The two of them just did not mix.
"So they are mad about the gun, and not about Pete?," he asked. She shrugged.
"I don't think anyone cares about Pete," she said, "and he was choking Beth, so I think you got a free pass on that one. There's going to be a meeting tonight about what to do about him and about you having the gun. Deanna wants to talk to me first." She took a deep breath. She wasn't saying it to be mean, but she thought he needed to hear it. "You acting crazy with that gun yesterday is the exact reason Deanna doesn't want people running around with them. You kind of proved her point for her." Rick nodded, he felt she was being fair and not overly insulting. And he was finding that taking advice from RickyJo was not as bad as he thought it was going to be. She had not cussed at him or smacked at him with any available object, the way she did with Merle. And her points had been valid.
"You think I should give the gun back and apologize?," he asked. She nodded.
"I have an extra one I can give you to replace it," she offered. Then she explained her reasoning. "Deanna doesn't understand guns. She didn't grow up with them the way we did, and she has not had to leave these walls for a long time. It is going to take someone's life being saved with one before she will get on board." Rick had not thought about it that way. People who were not familiar with guns were often afraid of them.
"Maybe I could offer to give her a shooting lesson," he said, thinking out loud. RickyJo smiled. She was glad Rick finally seemed to be getting it. And while she didn't say it, she had a feeling Deanna would take the lesson if Rick was the instructor. She had seen the woman looking at him after he finally shaved that beard off.
"Now we are getting somewhere," RickyJo said. MJ got up and pushed away from his mother to go explore his new surroundings. He walked away a few steps and then turned to blow kisses at them, making RickyJo laugh. "Michonne taught him that," she said, "it is the cutest thing I have ever seen." Rick smiled, watching the woman with her son. It was funny to see that a woman who could be so serious and hard about some things, was still just as gentle and kind with her children as any other mother.
"He sure is a character," Rick admitted. RickyJo laughed at that, she knew it was a nice way of saying her kid was a bit of a brat, which he was. But just like his father, that was part of his charm. She was glad the talk between her and Rick was going so well.
"Since we are here anyway," she said, "I had a few other things I wanted to mention." Then she quickly added, "nothing to do with yesterday." Rick looked at her with his eyebrows raised. He was finding that he was more than a little curious to hear the rest of her opinions.
"Lay it on me," he told her.