The Destruction of Old Voldy (take 1)
Authors Note: This is the one that started it all. Courtesy of LiAnn (who's account this is woot)
Bear with me, I now present to you my many adventures in the magical world of J.K. Rowling (accompanied by Harry Potter himself, mind you.) Consider it another birthday present.
It just so happens that my summer wasn't quite as dreadful as I thought it'd be. Incidentally, I was lounging in my room one June evening, basking in my gluttony, when what do you know! Harry Potter was hovering right outside my window!
Appalled, I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. Could this really be the Harry Potter? The one in storybooks that I longed for to be real for all these years? Surely not.
But it was.
So, to his surprise, I jumped on his broom and told him to take off (!)
"What! Who are you? Why have you jumped on my broom, you silly girl?" he asked me in disbelief.
"You were outside my window, you blasted minx," said I, pinching his cheek.
Unable to withstand my sauciness, he shrugged and took off.
How delighted I was, sitting on a broomstick. And behind Harry Potter. Those green eyes, that black hair--what a babe (and he knew it, the git.)
Diagon Alley was visable after what seemed like two hours, six minutes and twenty-two seconds (an approximation, I promise.) After landing, he brought me to the Three Broomsticks.
"So, why did you arrive out my window?" I questioned as I drank my butterbeer (good stuff.)
"Oh I dunno, I just thought I'd stir up my summer, eh?" and he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Oh yes." I left that particular subject at that.
After a few more rounds of butterbeer, I was feeling tipsy.
"I'm drunk. That's crap," I sniggered.
"Let's go find that Voldemort bloke and give 'im the ol' one-two!" Harry exclaimed.
"Right, then," and we were off.
Lord Voldemort, widely acclaimed dark wizard and enemy of that bashful boy whom i was running around with, was at the moment enjoying a scrumptious soak in the bath. Harry and I had set off directly to seek him out. Wasted as we were, we had no idea of the consequences.
We made only two stops (which were of course to shag it up ) and in no time, we had reached our objective.
And so it goes, we discovered old Voldy in a tub and he was so frightened by our drunken state that he died of shock on-the-spot.
This tale of mine shall surely live on until the end of time. How Harry Potter and his saucy saucy companion shook things up for themselves and the Dark Lord. Harry Potter still makes regular trips to my bedroom and we shall live happily ever after. So shall Margie (for she shall later be involved with that beast, RONALD WEASLEY!)
The End.