Chapter 14: The Plan and Shoe Polish
A/N: Uhh… well, half of this was written awhile ago. The other half is recent. Hopefully, my style of writing hasn't changed TOO much since the last time I wrote a chapter. I think it's become more serious, but I guess your reactions will tell. Please leave a review telling me what you think. I don't know if I should continue this story, discontinue it, or give it up for adoption, so I'd really appreciate your views. I can also be reached via livejournal. The url is green-loofa.livejournal .com/ minus the spaces. I love comments, and I'll friend all so feel free to! ) Anyway, on with the long awaited chapter 14. XD
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Snape had spreadsheets of paper arranged all across his office. To the common observer at first glance, it'd appear that he was simply planning a school event. However, it was his plans for a certain Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger.
"Hmmm.. in order for this plan to work, I'd have to remove that lovely pain spell… damn. I really liked that spell." Snape muttered to no one in particular, "alright. Fine, I'll remove it.. now all I have to arrange is getting everyone in this exact position for the plan…"
Suddenly Dumbledore burst into Snape's office. "Why hello Severus! And what may I ask are these plans for?" He asked cheerfully, fully aware of what they were.
"Um… they're my plans for.. ummm… er…" Snape started.
"Increased inter-house relations?" Dumbledore inquired.
"Uh, yeah! That's it… inter-house relations… of course.. yeah.." Snape replied absentmindedly.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Is there anything I can do to assist you Severus?" He asked.
"No! I mean.. ummm… arghh! You bastard! You probably know exactly what I'm doing." Snape replied.
"Of course I do Severus. This behavior is conniving and deceitful… and I SUPPORT IT!" Dumbledore beamed, "it really is an excellent plan. I shall help you get everyone in place for your plan."
"R-really!" Snape exclaimed, "Excellent!"
Dumbledore raised an eyebrow but chose not to comment. Snape sure was enthusiastic these days. Oh well. It was better than his evil depressing un-fun self. He still recalled the last time when he proposed to put a huge pink banner in the Slytherin dorms. How dare Sevvie refuse! Oh well. It was all in the past. He noticed that Snape was looking at him expectantly so he cleared his throat and said, "Alright then. When do you require this plan to be in action?"
"Um. How about tomorrow evening? Might as well do all these things at once rather than gradually." Snape replied.
"An excellent idea." Dumbledore agreed, "but I think you should release them now so they don't have quite as much to deal with. You see, Miss Brown and Miss Patil along with a few other Gryffindors thought it'd be good if they took a few…controversial pictures of the pair and they are sure going to have a lot to deal with come tomorrow morning. I assure that you shall be thoroughly amused or grossed-out but I urge you to remove it."
"You mean you knew it was me?" Snape exclaimed.
Dumbledore nodded with a dismissive wave of his hand, "Of course. I have a general idea of everything that goes on within the walls of Hogwarts. I've been quite enjoying the humourous displays of Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger."
"Hahahaha." Snape laughed dryly, voice dripping with sarcasm, "try being on the receiving end of it."
"Well Severus, there's a reason why you're picked on." Dumbledore stated.
"And what may I ask is that? My charming good looks?" Snape responded.
"No, the way you react. The more you react, the more you're picked on." Dumbledore explained as if it were obvious.
Snape looked as though he'd reached an epiphany, "Oh!…. I see."
Dumbledore chuckled, "Well, I'll leave you to retire for the night now my dear friend."
"Likewise." Snape replied.
Meanwhile, Draco and Hermione slept, unaware that there would be yet again, more chaos the next day.
In the dark of a dark room, voices muttered. "Woah. This picture looks totally hot!"
"…Eww…"
"This one is mostly of Hermione's hair."
"Make me doubles of that one!"
"Hey! Let's make a banner with these pictures to wallpaper the Great Hall!"
"This is just disgusting."
Hermione woke up first, to find herself curled up in Malfoy's arms. She was surprised at the peacefulness in his face and found herself smiling at it. As she reached over to brush a strand of hair out of his face, he leaned into her touch, sighing.
Then suddenly he jolted awake. Both felt a strange tingling sensation.
"Did you feel that?" Hermione asked, looking at Draco thoughtfully.
"What do you mean?" Draco replied.
"A tingling sensation." Hermione explained.
"Oh, I merely thought it was an ominous feeling or something." Draco replied, yawning sophisticatedly.
Hermione laughed, "Only you."
"What?" Draco demanded.
"Only you can wake up, like that. Most people are totally groggy and tend to either throw pillows or use them to block out the sound of their alarm clocks. I guess we DO have something in common." Hermione grinned, "anyway, I gotta pee."
Suddenly, she froze and shrieked with glee. Draco looked mortified, "What is it?"
Hermione dashed up to Draco and hugged him, "Look!" She exclaimed, running across the dormitory.
Draco just shrugged about to repeat his phrase when it hit him. "We're free!" He exclaimed gleefully, doing a sort of happy dance which Hermione joined in on, "We're free! That's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it."
"Alright. Let's go to breakfast! Separately!" Hermione exclaimed, taking Draco's hand (out of habit) and rushing down the stairs and out the portrait hole.
Snape let out a sigh of relief, a look of horror plastered on his face. Granger and Malfoy had almost bowled him over as they ran out of the common room. Thank god for invisibility charms and his quick reflexes. Unfortunately for Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger….
"Hey Harry! Hey Ron…. HOLY HELL!" Hermione shrieked.
"Hey Crabbe. Hey Goyle… BLOODY HELL!" Draco yelled in a similar manner to Hermione.
There were suggestive photos of the two blown up and plastered all over the Great Hall. Most of them were of them in the bathtub although there were still a few of them just close to each other. Under each blown up pictures there were captions in bold, each completely untrue.
Hermione was studying one of the pictures, her moving closer to Draco glaring. The caption read – no! You're not hitting the right spot! Ooh. That's better.
Despite themselves, both Draco and Hermione found themselves feeling peeved but also, to their utter horror, longing each other in a way that was entirely sexual. Both muttered "Shit" simultaneously and left in opposite directions before anyone could comment.
Dumbledore and Snape smirked at each other and started their commencement on Snape's plan. Dumbledore cleared his throat and put a sonorous charm on himself. He waited until he was sure both Draco and Hermione were far away enough that they wouldn't hear his announcement and then boomed, "GOOD MORNING! PROFESSOR SNAPE AND I WILL NEED THE GREAT HALL TODAY, AS WELL AS THE AID OF SEVERAL TEACHERS. WE WILL ALSO NEED THE HELP OF SOME OF THE STUDENTS. THAT BEING SAID, I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE--WOAH!"
Dumbledore's arm was suddenly pulled by Snape, who hissed something at him with an utter sense of urgency.
"I HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED THAT MY VOICE SOUNDS LIKE A MALE BANSHEE AND IS HURTING YOUR EARS, SO I SHALL CONTINUE IN MY NORMAL TONE OF VOICE. I APOLOGIZE." Dumbledore boomed, taking the sonorous charm off, "All students except for those on this list, are free to go do whatever they want for the day, but stay out of the Great Hall. Have a wonderful day students!"
Confusedly, the students chosen to stay headed towards the front of the Great Hall, wondering what the headmaster had in mind. "Now. I shall be assigning roles to all of you individually." Dumbledore told the confused students, "all shall be revealed in due time."
"Psst! What do you reckon Dumbledore needs us for?" Ron hissed to Harry.
"Dunno…I guess we'll find out soon." He replied.
"Miss Weasley, Miss Patil, Miss Brown, Miss Patil… if you'd follow me for a moment." Dumbledore called.
The four girls shrugged and followed Dumbledore only to be given a most peculiar set of instructions.
"Ladies, your job is of utmost importance. You are to go to Hogsmeade and purchase decorations of an extreme romantic variety. When asked, do not answer that it is a mission that you are doing for me. Do you understand? It is absolutely necessary for you to buy items that are romantic. So romantic that they may appear even too romantic for you!" Dumbledore said solemnly.
"Erm, sure Professor. But why do we need all of this?" Padma asked curiously.
"Can't we just transfigure the Hall like we do at the end of the year ceremony?" Ginny asked suspiciously.
"We will, but I would also like some genuine decorations to use as a model, as to what additions I'll make with magic afterwards." Dumbledore responded.
"Are we going to be having another ball?" Lavender squealed with excitement.
"No, all will be revealed in due time. But for now, I shall give you this money," Dumbledore said, handing the four girls a small pouch of money, "and let you be on your way. Tell no one that it is for me! And most importantly, do NOT choose decorations that clash with each other. We want sickly romantic décor that will transform the Great Hall into a hall of love!"
Harry and Ron watched the confusion on the girls' faces. As the other students were called, their faces were also left rather puzzled; some looking as though they thought Dumbledore had gone insane!
Finally, Ron was called along with a few Ravenclaws, a few Slytherins and once Hufflepuff. Harry watched as Ron's face portrayed the same emotions that all the others had. Then Ron shrugged and walked back over to Harry.
"What'd he say?" Harry asked.
"Oh. We're the potions crew. We're going to be brewing potions all day. Funny thing is, we're brewing love potions, aphrodisiacs and stuff." Ron said, wrinkling his nose.
"What! Why!" Harry demanded.
"He said that it would all be revealed later. I swear, he's gone nutters!" Ron said, looking scared, "d-d'you think that maybe… m-maybe…"
"Hmmm? What?" Harry asked reassuringly.
"M-maybe… Dumbledore's in love and wants us to help him out!" Ron suggested.
Harry let out a laugh. "With who? McGonagall? SNAPE! Hooch?" Harry scoffed, "I don't think so."
"Yeah, but you can totally see it happening, can't you? I know I can! Dumbledore, dancing around in frilly pantaloons, singing love songs to McGonagall as she blushed delicately. Dumbledore with a ukulele, stroking McGonagall's cheek, flirting." Ron's face grew increasingly horrified as he told Harry of the scenario he was thinking of to the point where he looked as though he'd seen a ghost.
"Ok Ron, EW! Too much imagination there, mate. Ugh. But yeah, I know what you mean. Or Snape and Dumbledore. I can imagine a ton of bondage there." Harry mused, laughing "Both in leather, handcuffed to the bedpost, Dumbledore with his wrinkly balls. Bet you he has an erectile dysfunction though. Probably can't get it up anymore, what, being over 150 years old?"
"And you say MY mind is too imaginative?" Ron questioned, "Harry, Dumbledore's just called you."
"Oh right. I'll be right back then." Harry replied, heading towards the Headmaster.
"Hello Harry. Do you notice how you are not in any specific group?" Dumbledore inquired, his eyes twinkling madly.
"Er, yeah. Why is that?" Harry asked nervously.
"Well my boy, I'm glad you asked. I have a very important job for you." Dumbledore paused, for dramatic effect.
"Yes?" Harry asked.
"I want you to follow Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore started.
"He's a death eater, isn't he?" Harry stated darkly, "that bastard!"
"Oh no Harry. Not at all. My intentions aren't nearly that dark. No, my boy. I want you to go and attempt to woo Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore informed Harry.
"You what!" Harry exclaimed.
"I would like for you to attempt to romance Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore repeated.
"WHY!" Harry demanded, in obvious distress, "I'm not gay! And I'm not attracted to Malfoy. I hate him actually, in case you haven't noticed. Have you completely lost your mind!"
"Oh no my dear boy. However, the author of this fanfic, clearly has. She has control over us." Dumbledore told Harry gravely.
Dumbledore leaned into Harry and kissed his lips. Harry pushed Dumbledore away, looking absolutely mortified.
"See? She has TOTAL control." Dumbledore stated.
"What! The! Fuck!" Harry exploded angrily, "You're a perverted creep!"
"No!" Dumbledore protested desperately, "I'm not a perv! I admit, I DO check out Miss Weasley's behind occasionally and I find Miss Granger exceedingly alluring, but I'm NOT a perv! It's the author! She's doing it! Her and her stupid OOC fic!"
"Who is 'she' and what's a fanfic? And what's OOC? I don't believe that for a second!" Harry argued firmly.
"She? Why she's Draco-Malfoy-Severus-Luva a.k.a. DMSL. She's a Draco/Hermione writer who's turned to the dark side of slash! She now adores Draco/Harry! And she's obsessed with Brokeback Mountain!" Dumbledore explained.
"What! Ewww. I'd never like Malfoy… although… his blonde hair is so lovely… and NO!" Harry shouted, fighting the air, "I am NOT attracted to Malfoy! This is a DM/HG fic DMSL you PERV. And what's Brokeback?"
"It's a movie about gay cowboys. It's a wonderful movie." Dumbledore responded, although he had no clue what it was but was just saying whatever words were put into his mouth.
"Oh." Harry responded, "so what do you really want me to do?"
"Just stalk Mr. Malfoy. It's good practice for Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, seeing as how you'll become 'increasingly obsessed with Draco Malfoy'." Dumbledore shrugged.
"WHAT!" Harry exclaimed.
Dumbledore just shrugged. As did Harry, "I suppose just keep Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger busy all day, away from the Great Hall. And hit on Mr. Malfoy. I would like to see if there's any attraction between Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger."
"Uhh… okay. But I'm NOT gay!" Harry argued.
"And I'm not the Headmaster." Dumbledore responded cheerfully, "now off you go!"
Meanwhile, Draco and Hermione were waiting patiently at the end of the Great Hall.
"I wonder what Dumbledore's talking to all of those people about." Draco pondered.
"I don't know, but judging by their faces, he's asking them to do something quite weird." Hermione replied.
"Oh. My. God. Look!" Draco pointed gleefully, looking as though Christmas had come early.
Hermione's jaw dropped. "I-is Professor Dumbledore s-snogging Harry!" She sputtered in disbelief.
"Yeah." Draco supplied cheerfully, clearly enjoying Potter's suffering, "look how scared Potter looks!"
"Poor Harry!" Hermione sympathized, "I wonder why Dumbledore's doing that though. Is it some sort of code?"
"You mean the nerdy Granger doesn't know the answer for once?" Draco teased in mock surprise, "isn't it obvious?"
"No. Why? Do YOU know why they're snogging?" Hermione asked.
"Yeah. Number one, Potter's a horny gay pervert. Number two, Dumbledore's a horny, gay perverted, pedophilic old geezer." Draco replied, "so obviously, they're meant to be together. They're like soul mates!"
Hermione was highly disturbed. "I don't think so Malfoy. You're wrong. Ugh. Well, they've pulled apart. I guess we'll just ask Harry later."
"No. You'll ask. I'll taunt." Draco replied, grinning maliciously, "Hey look! Potter's coming towards us. We can ask now."
Harry was indeed strolling towards the pair, with a frown marring his features.
"Hey Harry. What was that all about with Dumbledore?" Hermione asked in concern.
"I have no idea. Something about a crazy author, DMSL." Harry replied.
"Potter, I bet you enjoyed that kiss." Draco taunted, leering at Harry.
Harry grimaced, then forced a flirty smile. "Not as much as I'd enjoy kissing you… Draco." Harry replied, leaning into Draco's personal space.
Draco leapt backwards as though he'd been scalded. "Stay back Potter!" He warned, eyes glinting in panic, "I have a wand and I'm not afraid to use it!"
"Ooh, a wand you say… is it long, baby?" Harry grinned, not knowing why he was acting that way.
Suddenly, a high pitched shriek was heard as Pansy came running to Draco's defense. "AIEEEEEEE" She screamed, sounding like a mixture of Tarzan and Xena the Warrior Princess, "Don't worry Drakie, I'm here to save you!"
She grabbed Draco possessively and pulled him away from Harry, cooing, "I'm here baby, don't worry about that Potter. He'll NEVER turn you gay!"
Pansy attached herself to a struggling Draco's lips and tried to deepen the kiss. She shoved her tongue into Draco's mouth when he gasped in shock. Hermione didn't know why, but she suddenly saw red. She glared angrily at Pansy and cast a hex at the girl. Suddenly, Pansy began to breakdance uncontrollably.
"Drakie nooo! I mustn't be drifted away from you! I shall… breakdance back to you! I love you and will always be yours and yours only! I-" Pansy was cut off as she suddenly sprouted a very dense beard.
The beard was black and very thick. Somehow, it managed to shut her large mouth too. The silent, bearded Pansy drifted away, breakdancing all the while, finally stopping when she danced into a pile of steel sheets, which coincidentally, toppled over onto her, "Ahhghh!"
Hermione let out a snort of grim satisfaction, before frowning. Why had she done that? She wasn't the owner of Draco. But yet, she felt.. jealous. No. She wasn't jealous. She didn't like Malfoy. But… those eyes! Those beautiful, piercing eyes! No! He was a prude and an ass. But his body was sculpted and just begged to be worshipped. And his hair! Where to start. His hair epitomized perfection. NO!
Hermione shook her head. She was NOT attracted to Malfoy. He was NOT hot.
Draco watched Hermione's facial expressions with an amused look. She seemed to be having an inner struggle. Her face went from dreamy, to angry, to frustrated, to dreamy, to frustrated and back again. He grinned slightly, at her cute display of emotion. Wait a minute. Did he just call the Mudblood CUTE? No. He didn't. He didn't even like her. But she was so fun to be around despite her background. And you had to admit, she COULD dress up and look pretty decent. Draco shook his head. No. That was forbidden. He was NOT attracted to Hermione.
Harry broke the silence, clearing his throat awkwardly and strangely like Umbridge's, "Hem, hem."
"What?" Draco snapped irritably, his mask back in place.
"Erm. About that flirting. Uh, I don't know why I did that." Harry grinned sheepishly.
"Well I think that's quite obvious. I'm gorgeous, so it's only natural, of course, for you to be attracted to me. I bet you that you're secretly filled with undying devotion for me." Draco responded haughtily, hoping that the normal Potter would stay.
Unfortunately, Harry's demeanor suddenly changed as though he'd been imperioed. He was suddenly looking at Draco hungrily, "Draco baby, wanna shag?"
"Hell no Potter. In your dreams!" Draco snarled.
"Oh but I do dream Draco. I dream about you every night, in my bed. Don't you want to ride my broomstick?" Harry purred.
"No Harry. He doesn't. What's wrong with you today?" Hermione demanded, stepping between Draco and Harry.
"I-I don't know. I can't seem to control myself." Harry said in a panicked voice.
"Well this is a Draco/Hermione story so YOU'RE either supposed to be single, shagging that annoying Weasley brat, shagging Chang or not shagging anyone!" Draco retorted, "so go find someone else to shag. I REFUSE to be deflowered by you!"
"And I refuse to let you deflower him!" Hermione added, glaring at Harry for some reason unknown to her.
"Why are you so concerned Herm?" Harry asked, brows furrowed in confusion.
"I'm not." Hermione blushed in denial, frowning, "But think about it Harry. It's Malfoy. Draco bloody Malfoy, the guy we dislike and who dislikes us."
"Oh right. Yeah. He's an ass." Harry agreed wholeheartedly, drooling, "A nice ass."
"Yea-No!" Hermione exclaimed, "he's our enemy who likes to torture us and we like to torture him!"
"With whips, handcuffs, whipped cream and bondage?" Harry grinned enthusiastically, licking his lips.
"No! With pain, suffering and humiliation!" Hermione all but screamed.
"We can humiliate him by making him be the bottom in sex!" Harry replied.
"No! No sex with Draco Malfoy! He's NOT yours!" Hermione shouted.
"Oh, so he's yours?" Harry challenged.
"Uh, excuse me, I'm STILL HERE." Draco cut in, rolling his eyes.
"Oh I'm sorry Draco, darling, were we neglecting you? Let me make it up to you. We'll have make-up sex!" Harry grinned, sauntering over to Draco.
"NO!" Hermione and Draco snarled in unison.
"Okay Potter, look. I'm NOT gay. I'd rather fuck fucking Parkinson than you." Draco paused, grimacing, "okay, maybe not Parkinson, but I'd rather fuck Granger than you. So stop trying to seduce me!"
"I'm not. I can't control myself Malfoy. It's the stupid author." Harry shrugged, completely normal again.
"ARGH! What are you bloody talking about? Stop blaming it on nonexistent dumbass authors! She does NOT exist and if she does, she's probably a bloody troll!" Draco burst.
Harry suddenly burst out laughing.
"What?" Draco snarled.
"You shouldn't diss the all powerful DMSL." Harry laughed, conjuring a mirror.
"Give me that." Draco snapped snatching the mirror from Harry.
Draco's jaw dropped. His beautiful hair… it was gone! It'd been replaced with a horrid bright pink Mohawk. "M-my beautiful hair!" He cried out in anguish, "Nooooo!"
Hermione laughed, "I think it's better looking now. Maybe add a few piercings and wear some leather and you'll be the perfect gothic-emo poof."
"A what?" Draco demanded.
"Never mind. It's part of muggle culture." Hermione explained, "beg me and I'll charm it back for you."
"Never." Draco retorted, "I'll do it myself."
Draco brandished his wand and muttered the counter-spell. Nothing happened.
"Why isn't it working!" He growled.
"Cos that's the wrong counter-spell." Hermione replied, smirking.
Draco tried several more counter spells before he hissed, "What's the counter spell!"
"Not until you beg me." Hermione grinned.
"Never!" Draco exclaimed stubbornly.
"Suit yourself." Hermione shrugged.
"…"
Hermione just smiled serenely, waiting for the begging that she knew would ensue moments later. And it did. As if on cue, Draco suddenly began to beg, "Please Granger, PLEASE. Remove this ruddy mohawk from my head! I beg of you! PLEASE."
Hermione just shook her head and said, "Too bad Malfoy, the stakes have been raised now. If you want the spell removed you now have to polish my shoes and tell me how great it is to have that privilege."
"Never!" Draco immediately argued.
Harry grinned from behind Draco and gave Hermione a thumbs up. Hermione laughed and said, "I'm waiting."
Draco just glared menacingly at Hermione. "Hmmph. I'd rather just have this hair thanks."
"But what if all your friends see it?" Hermione argued, smirking.
"They won't!" Draco insisted.
"Oh yeah? Why not?" Hermione challenged.
"Because… I won't be in the Great Hall. I'll be in… an empty classroom!" Draco replied, rushing out of the Great Hall and into the safety of an empty classroom.
Hermione followed him, grinning. She'd make him polish her shoes yet. Harry was nowhere to be seen and seemed to have wondered off to find Ron.
Draco glared at Hermione as she entered.
"My offer still stands Malfoy. Polish my shoes and I'll reverse the spell." Hermione grinned.
"No!" Draco protested.
"You know you want to." Hermione taunted.
"Never!" Draco retorted.
"Alright, but what about when you have classes?"
"No! Never! Non! No way!" Draco shouted.
Hermione just smiled.
"Okay, okay fine!" Draco gave up, "I'll polish your bloody shoes, but you'd better take the spell off!"
"Okay, fine." Hermione agreed, motioning to her feet, "polish!"
"I don't have anything to polish them with." Draco replied, with gritted teeth.
"That can be arranged, no worries." Hermione grinned, conjuring a rag and some shoe polish out of thin air.
Draco grabbed both and knelt down, dipping the rag into shoe polish. Hermione held out her foot and Draco began to work, brow furrowing in concentration. Strangely, he found himself not minding polishing her shoes. Draco unconsciously began to rub Hermione's ankle a bit, massaging it as he polished. He didn't notice it though. His mind was focused on other things. Like why he wasn't minding this punishment.
Hermione watched Draco as he polished her shoe. His face was concentrated on the task, no animosity showing. She was surprised as her body reacted to it. She suddenly felt rather warm and wanted to get out of the situation. Draco was holding her ankle softly in one hand and polishing with the other and it was making her uneasy. Then he began to massage her ankles. "Uh, Malfoy?" Hermione inquired softly.
"Yeah?" He replied, halting his movements.
"I-uh." Hermione started.
"What?" He demanded.
"Never mind. I'll undo your hair now, if you want." She replied, blushing.
"Good." Malfoy responded, "I don't want a single hair to be different from how it was before."
Hermione laughed, "Of course."
Hermione did the counter-spell and his hair was instantly normal again. "You're welcome." She laughed as Draco rushed to a mirror to check his hair frantically.
"Yes! My beautiful hair! It's back!" Draco exclaimed triumphantly.
"No really?" Hermione replied sarcastically.
"Ha." Draco said dryly, "ha."
Hermione was contemplating what to say when Filch suddenly burst into the room. "Draco my love! There you are! I've been thinking about you all day!" He exclaimed, "I just can't get you out of my head! Boy, your loving is all I think about! Everyday! Every night! Just to be there, in your arms!"
"Hmmm… that sounds vaguely familiar." Hermione mused.
"Oh no! Not you!" Draco paled as Filch advanced, "Save me Granger!"
"Kylie Minogue!" Hermione exclaimed, unaware of Draco's panic.
"Ahhghh! Help! He's trying to kiss me!" Draco screamed.
"Don't worry Malfoy! I'll save you!" Hermione shouted, pausing, "After I watch you suffer for a few more moments."
"Granger!" Draco howled, as Filch swooped down to kiss him.
"Okay. Moment's done. Petrificus Totalus!" Hermione bellowed.
Filch went rigid, his lips still puckered. His eyes still danced with love, and his face was left, distorted, as though he was maniacally trying to make out with someone.
Draco looked as though he'd be scarred for life. "Granger, you almost let me be molested!" Draco whimpered in horrified awe.
"Psh. As if. I just let you think that." Hermione winked, "You alright?"
"Yeah. Just peachy." Draco glared.
"Good." Hermione grinned.
Meanwhile, Dumbledore and Snape were overlooking the redecoration of the Great Hall. The girls had arrived back with an assortment of romantic decorations and the potions were nearly brewed. Now, all they had to do was charm the hall with the proper spellwork, and they would be ready to rock Mr. Malfoy and Miss Granger's world.
A/N: Hi again. Hope this chapter was okay. looks very sheepish… I'm sorry if it's very different from what I used to write, but I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. Please review with your feedback and honest opinion. P I'm open to suggestions. To be honest, my heart's not totally into writing this anymore, but I will write if you insist via. reviews or comments on my live journal. Once again, my livejournal is green-loofa. livejournal. com/ minus the spaces. Please visit there and feel free to comment. I warn you in advance, my journal has several slashy pictures so beware. Oh, and you can also just click on my fanfiction profile's homepage. P
Anyway, reasons I haven't updated this in AGES:
I forgot about it due to the immense amount of homework I had at the time
Lost interest in Draco/Hermione… I'm now a Draco/Harry shipper… I'm a total slasher. Lol, sorry. XD
No motivation to write this
My sense of humour changed
Didn't know how to end this… writer's block
I'm totally lazy
Hmmm, what else do I have to say? Well, does anyone want any specific scene to occur? I'd love to hear some suggestions because I can easily incorporate them into the next chapter. I'm not sure what I'm going to do in the next chapter, but I have ammunition in the form of love potions, romantic décor, and the genius of Snape and Dumbledore, so feel free to suggest! I'll write as much of what you suggest as I can as long as they do not conflict with each other. P
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I tried to make it longer to make up for the time I haven't written in, and build more of an attraction between Draco and Hermione so I hope it fits. I'm not sure what I wrote in previous chapters, so it may conflict with the timeline of the story, so tell me if it does and I'll modify it. Review and/or comment my livejournal! ) I look forward to hearing from you!
I was told that the kiss that Draco and Hermione shared was a little too quick so I'll try to slow it down although the potions and romantic setting may lower their inhibitions in the next chapter. Lol. Tell me if I should change the rating to M.
Alright, I hope to hear from you all, and I'll try to update soon again! I await you're onslaught of criticism/praise. XD
-DMSL/loofa P
(green-loofa.livejournal .com) XD
ETA: I'm so sorry. Several of you seem to be confused and think I'm turning this story into a Draco/Harry. clears throat THIS STORY WILL DEFINITELY STAY DRACO/HERMIONE! LOL. I wouldn't just change the plot so it fits with my new tastes. There will also be no more of my strange Draco/Harry ness. I was at a loss as to how to make Draco and Hermione connect, so I decided to use Harry as a tool to help it along. Hehe. Sorry. Won't happen again. Will keep it to the insane Filch, and Pansy-torturing you seem to love. XD