Title: Ramen and Chocolate
Author: Rikugou
Pairing: Neji+Naruto
Fandom: Naruto
Theme: 19 - red
Summary: Neji dislikes Valentine's Day and has to deal with fan girls while on guard duty.
Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me.

Notes: Characters may be OOC. I'm still trying to get the right feel of them. This was written as part of the 30kisses theme on LJ.

Neji had always believed Valentine's Day was a pointless holiday. It was one of two days in the year in which everyone had an 'accepted' excuse to drown someone in love letters, assorted boxes of chocolates (which, depending on their culinary skills were possibly deadly to the stomach) and other such frivolous things.

It turned keeping guard in the Hokage building into a living hell. Fending off your own admirers was difficult enough on a daily basis. Doing so while also trying to get rid of the Rokudaime's admirers made him consider imaginative ways to get rid of them--most of which included bodily harm. Kiba was already spoken for and thereby gained immunity (he got a box of chocolates from Hinata-sama in the morning and practically shoved it in his face every chance the dog-user had).

As for himself, Hyuuga Neji of the Hyuuga Clan was prime bait (despite being a branch member) and quite single so therefore, was free to date any of them. For some reason, that seemed to fire up their determination to see him accept the tokens of their adoration (though it seemed more like obsession to him). Personally, he had already accepted all the chocolates he was willing to take that very morning (a box from Sakura-san, Tenten and Hinata-sama) and had no wish to obtain any more (or test the strength of his digestive system. Chouji was the one with the cast iron stomach, not him).

All he could do was stand stoically at attention and try his best to ignore the females (and a few courageous males) around him. Neji had attempted several times to tell them to go away but it only made the mob of females giggle and push closer (He suspects that the Valentine fumes in the air must have gotten some wires crossed in their brains if they thought trying to squish him would make them any more desirable in his eyes). If it wasn't for the fact that Konoha had had no immediate enemies or any underground plot threatening the Rokudaime or the village for the past year, his fellow Anbu members would have rescued him. As it was, his predicament was going to be the topic of jokes for the next month or until it got old (the third option would be until he snapped and tried to kick someone's face in though that wasn't really his style).

Just as his temper was about to get the better of him, another pair of Anbu appeared to relieve Neji and Kiba of their post. The Byakugan-wielder almost sighed in relief (but didn't because the throng of crazed fans were sure to realize they were wearing him down). Part of the crowd around him shifted at their sudden appearance. When they realized it was their precious Sasuke-kun, the throng got impossibly louder. Neji repressed a small smirk at the overwhelmed look on the Uchiha's face and took a few moments to savor it before teleporting himself away, ignoring the brief protests of those who recognized the hand seals he made for the jutsu.

The familiar walls of the Hokage's office manifested around him, along with a quiet he had been missing for the past 4 hours he was on duty. His shoulders finally relaxed from the tension he had been feeling for his entire shift. The only sound that broke the comfortable stillness was the negligible scritch-scratch of a pen on paper and the occasional dull thump of a stamp.

After a moment, a spiky blonde head looked up from behind his pile of papers and scrolls and smiled in welcome. "Hey, your shift's over?" Blue eyes glanced briefly at the clock, mildly surprised at the hour. When they turned back to Neji, however, the smile on Naruto's face quickly became a smirk.

Neji stalked over to sit on the corner of the desk, arms crossed slightly in annoyance. "What did I do to warrant guard duty on Valentine's Day?" he said, jumping to the punch. No need to beat around the bush. A slow widening of the irritating smirk told him all he needed to know. Naruto may be Hokage for the next couple of decades, but the prankster inside was eternal. The Rokudaime could be 60 years old and he would still be playing jokes on people. At least he wasn't the only one to suffer from a close encounter with crazy fan girls (and boys).

"I need to get my entertainment somehow yanno," Naruto snickered.

He repressed the impulse to roll his eyes and opted to comment instead. "Watching a movie would have been easier."

"But then I wouldn't be able to have so much fun!" Naruto gave him a fox grin and pillowed his head on his arms, blue eyes looking up at the Hyuuga mischievously.

Neji gave into the urge and rolled his eyes, kicking at the (all too amused) Hokage's chair in irritation. Really, his friend needed a new hobby rather than playing 'see how long it'll take to annoy the hell out of Neji'.

"Shouldn't you get back to work?" Neji warily eyed the stack of papers piled across the desk. Konohamaru was probably going pitch a fit if he saw that Naruto didn't make any inroads to the work.

"You're the one who interrupted me!" The Rokudaime smugly declared.

"You were the one who told me to come after my shift," he drily replied. The shorter man probably wanted to admire his handiwork. Sometimes he thought his friend was still 12 years old rather than 28. Some people just never grew up.

"I just wanted to see how much chocolate you got," Naruto pouted.

"Three."

Blue eyes blinked in confusion. "From that mob?"

"I didn't take any from them," Neji said in an unamused tone.

"Aww, why not?"

'I might get poisoned,' lingered on the tip of his tongue but he held back from saying it. Naruto was the type to accept any and all gifts from practically anyone so he probably wouldn't really understand (which was why Sakura-san was busy making sure each and every piece of chocolate was free of contamination minus the bad cooking. The Yondaime already died young, there wasn't any need to let the Rokudaime follow in his footsteps). "I didn't want to get their hopes up," was a more diplomatic response.

"Oh," Naruto said, as if the thought had never occurred to him. Choosing to take advantage of the other's preoccupation, Neji prepared to leave the office. No point in hanging around to give the Hokage an excuse to procrastinate.

However, before the Hyuuga could move, Naruto stood abruptly. Leaning in close, the fox grin turning just a tad flirtatious, he asked, "Hey, come to think of it, where are my chocolates from you?"

Neji let one eyebrow fly nearly to his hairline. Chocolate? From him? Intrigued, he decided to play along. "After that stunt you pulled, you'd be lucky to get a--MMPH!" He froze at the sudden press of lips against his but by the time his mind could properly register the sensation, it was over.

Naruto backed away slightly with a self-satisfied smirk on his face and brazenly swiped a tongue cat-like over Neji's bottom lip. Smiling serenely, the younger man danced away. "On second thought, I think I want ramen instead."

The pleasant press of Naruto's body against his disappeared immediately as the Rokudaime sauntered over to the exit and left the office. It wasn't until Neji was alone in the room that his brain finally caught up with the strange events and proceeded to repeat, 'Oh my god. Kiss' in random, chaotic intervals.

The silence in the room was nearly deafening and quickly broken when the door opened again and a spiky blonde head poked inside. "Neji!" Naruto said, annoyed. "I'm not gonna wait all day for you to get a clue. Stop thinking so much and let's go to Ichiraku's!"

Shaking his head wryly, Neji followed the hyperactive blonde out. He'll have to worry about the entire thing later. Right now, he had a demanding mouth to feed and later, a Hokage to drag back to his office after he had been fed.

-end-

Finished: 04.05.05
Editted: 04.07.05