A/N:This Aikino and I came up with while killing dinosaurs.

Black Sheep: Alternative Methods

Robin was slouching in the couch, relaxed to the point of almost falling asleep, idly riffling through a science magazine. He had picked it up while shopping because it had promised some interesting new dinosaur finds, but the article had been old news. Paper magazines had the internet to compete with after all. Slade had scoffed at him, asking what was so important about animals dying out billion of years before humans ever existed, but Robin simply found these things fascinating.

Suddenly he felt watched and glanced up. Yup. Slade, who had taken position of one of the soft chairs but otherwise seemed to be in the same state of relaxation, was looking at him.

"What?" Robin asked.

"Just mentally fucking you," the man smirked. "I have you over the side of the Sofa right now."

"Well, since I didn't give my consent does that mean that your are mind-raping me?" Robin chuckled.

"Whatever works."

"Hey!"

"Well, it's been a week."

"I am very well aware of that, I was the one doing all the puking and shitting what felt like fire water thing…" Robin muttered. He had gotten the stomach flu, and it had been bad. Slade, of course, hadn't been affected, no more than being cut off from sex. Not that the man had minded, he had actually taken care of Robin quite well, but now the teen seemed better and apparently old urges had reawakened.

"Still feeling sore?"

"Like my ass was literally on fire. Sorry Slade, it will be a few more days."

The man actually sighed rather sadly, which made Robin burst out laughing.

"Hey, I can blow something else, besides your mind?" he added, showing his good will.

"You can, can you?" the man smirked and spread his legs. "Then get over here."

Robin groaned. "But I'm comfy! You get over here!"

"I'm comfortable too," the man pointed out and then they were both grinning at each other.

"We're so sad, aren't we?" Robin laughed.

"Pitiful," Slade agreed.

"Besides, we've gone longer than this without sex," Robin claimed, trying to think of a time.

"Not with both of us in the same place," the man said. "If I can see you wiggling your ass in my direction, I want it."

"I do no such thing!" the teen exclaimed. "Well… sometimes…" he admitted. "But not lately. Sex has not been on my mind, trust me."

"Oh, I know, likewise. Not that it's not sexy when your partner's stench makes the tiles in the bathroom crack."

"Thank you. I feel even sexier now," Robin muttered.

Slade just chuckled, though, and then stood up. "I'm going for a run, want to come?"

"I'm still not one hundred percent sure I should be away from a toilet," the teen sighed, shaking his head. "Can you get me some soup on the way back?"

"Will do, but you should start eating more solids now, maybe?"

"I will. Tomorrow," Robin promised. "Don't have sex out there now, alright?"

"I'll try not to," the man smirked.

The teen just laughed and waved before going back to his magazine.

Two days later Robin was completely fine again, everywhere, apart from one thing… he wasn't feeling particularly in the mood. That was bothersome because it didn't normally take that much to get him in the mood. Even rejoining missions didn't quite do it. There was an adrenalin rush but nothing else.

"What's wrong with me?" Robin complained to Slade after the man had kissed him and the teen had loved it but didn't want to drag the man into the bedroom.

"Brain tumor?" Slade suggested jokingly.

"Hey, fuck you!"

"Only kidding, Princess. Changed personality and such. Are you on drugs, then?"

"No!"

"Just checking."

"No, you're just making fun of me. You'd better not get laid somewhere else."

"Not unless you count my hand."

Robin sighed. "I don't blame you… feels like a personal failure, but I don't blame you."

The man laughed. "Give me a week. I'll get you back on track."

"Really?"

"Yes. Just go with it."

"Mmmm…" Robin moaned a while later.

"Feels good?"

"Very… you should be a professional masseuse, Slade. Give up this silly mercenary thing."

"Any tingles yet?"

"Not really no. Hey, why did you stop?"

"I'm the kind of masseuse who only does happy endings," Slade told him.

"Get back here!"

Slade did, grudgingly. "I don't normally work for free," he muttered, making Robin chuckle.

The next morning Robin woke up in Slade's arms, with light kisses on his neck. The teen practically purred.

"Cuddling?" he smiled lazily up at the man.

"Getting desperate," Slade grinned back and kissed him properly. Robin highly enjoyed about half an hour of this until he sat up.

"Well, I need to pee and I'm hungry too. Breakfast?"

Slade groaned and sank back into bed. "Yes, Princess," he sighed, defeated.

Robin's head bobbed up and down on the man's shaft, licking, sucking, tasting and took great pleasure from it. As a salty emission landed on his tongue he hummed appreciatively.

"I love sucking you off," he grinned up at the man.

"Want me to return the favor?" Slade asked.

Robin shrugged. "Meh."

The teen hero narrowed his eyes. His opponent was three times his size, with two pairs of arms and reminded him of some sort of ancient god statue. And there were five of them. The rest of the Titans were all busy with their own so their leader was left without backup, but he didn't mind. This was going to be challenging, exhausting, dangerous and fun. He needed it badly.

"Where did you get that bruise?" Slade asked, carefully lifting the teen's chin, looking at his cheek from different angles.

"An amazing fight," Robin grinned.

"Are you sure you won?" the man asked, his voice a bit dark.

"Yeah, yeah, eventually. Don't worry, nothing's broken."

"Very well," the man nodded. "Go clean up, I've made reservations."

"Oh? Where?"

"Just dress nicely."

The restaurant was fancy, the food delicious, the wine sublime, and once they got home Robin kissed Slade deeply and fell asleep.

As he was preparing breakfast the next morning Slade came up behind him and caressed his ass.

"Not working," Robin said.

"Alright. Time for the heavy artillery," the mercenary grunted and half an hour later Robin found himself on the couch watching two strangers fucking.

"Watching a porno when you're not in the mood is one of the grossest things ever," he declared, making a face.

"Not working then?"

"Not at fucking all."

"Fine." Slade turned off the movie and leaned back.

"Giving up?" Robins' tone was both teasing and worried. He didn't want to feel like this, he just couldn't find the spark.

"Never," Slade growled.

"That's my tiger," the teen grinned.

They sparred, they went on dates, they even went on a picnic, which made Robin want to snicker but he played along. They parasailed, skydived and went cave exploring (though not the cave Slade wanted to explore the most). It was all good, it was all great, but… no spark. Robin had to admit that the man kept his cool, didn't show the frustration he had to feel. Much. The teen himself, however, got more and more on edge and his temper shortened for every day. So did his attention span and he more and more often came home with bruises and scratches.

When he limped in with a shallow gash across his shoulder Slade had had enough.

"Do you want me to ground you?" the man growled.

"Like you can," the teen snorted.

"Watch me."

"Will be kinda hard since I'll be out on missions," the young hero snarled.

"I have no idea what you think you're doing but you'll get yourself killed!" the man barked, striding towards the teen.

"Yeah, well, good for you, then you might finally get laid!" Robin snapped.

The next moment his body hit the wall with a hard thump.

"Don't you fucking dare!" Slade roared in his face. The teen fought to get lose but his wrists were caught and slammed against the wall on either side of his head.

"Don't even try, princess," the man growled. "There's nothing you can do. If you go out there to get hurt, just to feel something, then I'd rather hurt you myself. Right here. Right now."

Robin was about to spit something back when his eyes widened.

"Tiger-"

"Don't! You won't get out of this one, Princess, not-"

"Fuck me."

"What?"

"I need you! Now!" Robin keened and when the man pushed their bodies together he could feel that it wasn't a lie.

Their lips smashed roughly into each other and what followed could hardly be labeled 'making love'. It was brutal, partly painful, but oh so satisfying. When Robin became aware of his surroundings again they were both naked on the living room floor, on a rug that had previously held their now broken coffee table. Neither of them remembered how that had happened. Robin's gash had opened and bled a bit so there were smears of blood here and there both on them and in the apartment, including Slade's lips. The teen was also quite sure he was going to cry when going number two next time, but hell… it was worth it. Actually…

"Slade?"

"Hmm?"

"Wanna go again?"

Slade gave him a smirk. "Meh."

The End