Title: When the Sue Attacked

Author: ZukoKrazy

Summary: Basically a story where a Mary Sue completely terrorizes the Naruto-verse. Crack fic. Warning: Humor, not strong, but there is humor.

Rating: T

Pairings: Mharie x everybody

Genre: Humor/slight crack romance

A/N: Hey peoples. I wrote this 'cuz I was bored and I wanted to write a crack fic. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. But I do own my Mary Sue!

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Mharie Zhue was sitting in her TV room when suddenly she was in Konoha.

"Holy shit!" Mharie screamed, attracting every ninja in the village to her.

"Oh my god! That's my long lost sister!" Sasuke shouted.

"No! That's my long lost cousin!" Neji cried.

"No! That's my long lost aunt!" Sakura screeched.

"Luke, I am your father," Darth Vader said through his mask.

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" screamed Shino, dropping to his knees.

Everybody turned to stare at them. And then all eyes where back on Mharie.

"I am all of those!" Mharie cried, hugging her family members, who forgot all their differences and hugged the super-skinny, flawless skin, hair, teeth, and beautiful eyed girl.

"I am also part vampire, Uchiha, Haruno, Hyuuga, gargoyle, fay, unicorn, a host to the way-more-powerful-than-Kyuubi demon, and I am the Greek goddess Aphrodite's reincarnate!"

Immediately all the male ninjas fell to their knees and shouted, "Please go out with me!" or "I love you so much!" or "Come to my house tonight!" or "You can sleep at my house!" etc.

Mharie just flipped back her ever-changing hair and asked, "Do you want to hear my life story?"

All the male ninjas looked up at the girl with such love in their eyes that any normal girl would have been seriously a) flattered b) stricken with love as well or c) really freaked out.

Mharie sighed and started her long, tragic tail…

"I was born into the most powerful clan ever, but they were all murdered by my evil brother Itachi, who I will kill." At this point, Sasuke gave up his life as an avenger and decided to let Mharie kill Itachi.

"I was adopted, but then I was abandoned. I was then extremely poor and I was sold into slavery. Then I was kidnapped. Then all my friends were murdered in front of me, and I nearly died myself. But I was still alive. Then I was tossed into a strict Catholic school where I was bullied and came home every day to find that I had no home, only the street curb and nothing else."

A single tear fell down her face, making it seem more beautiful than ever before.

"And then I came here and my ultimate desire is to kill Itachi and avenge my clan! As well as make a new clan! And I will achieve that dream!"

She struck a heroine pose and the sunlight fell on her in rays, making everyone believe that she had a halo and wings.

Suddenly, Sakura ran forward and tried to attack me. I delivered a punch to her stomach, and she died. All the other female ninjas stared in horror and killed themselves before they could die such a horrible death as well.

Suddenly, Lee jumped out from the under-bush and proclaimed his un-dying love for Mharie.

"No Lee! She's mine!" Gai shouted, knocking his precious student out of the way.

The screen narrowed so only Lee and Gai's eyes were visible and suddenly the two ninja battled for the love of a beautiful damsel.

Mharie fluttered her eyelashes and flipped back her long, beautiful hair.

Meanwhile, Neji swooped the girl into his arms and kissed her.

Sasuke tackled Neji and fought him as well.

All the other ninja fought with various ninja while Mharie just stood there, smiling and occasionally winking at someone.

Suddenly, Tsunade jumped from a window and challenged the girl.

She accepted and activated the Byakugan in one eye and the Sharingan in the other. She predicted every move of Tsunade and easily defeated her.

Mharie activated some jutsu that made a blinding light that killed everyone and destroyed everything except for Mharie.

She suddenly broke down crying and sobbed over the loss of everyone.

Itachi appeared in the mist and comforted the girl. Then he made out with her, while Mharie completely forgot about her scheme to kill him.

The making out soon turned more and more heated until Itachi growled, "Take off your clothes, now."

Mharie complied, even though Itachi was her long lost brother.

Kisame appeared and the three had a fun time with each other.

Through the moans and groans, Mharie mumbled, "Itachi, I love you so much. I will kill you though." Itachi completely ignored this statement and continued on with his activities.

When they were done, Mharie killed them all and proceeded on to Sunakagure to see, and get laid by, Gaara and Kankuro.

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There's the first chapter…if you have any ideas to make Mharie more annoying or more of a Mary Sue, tell me. If you have any random Japanese words that can be used, please tell me.

Thanks for reading, please review!

-ZK