Published February 7, 2021 as part of the next chapter. Re-posted as a separate chapter on July 1, 2021.

"Home"

Daylight at first can be shocking and painful to the night-conditioned; it hurts the eyes; burns the skin; it takes a while to want it. And once we decide that we want the light, we must learn to trust it. ~ Madeleine L'Engle, Walking on Water

As Rey regained consciousness, she became aware of three things: she was human; she was wet and cold, shivering in fact, though something heavy covered her upper body and lent a little warmth; and someone was holding her in their arms, carrying her as they walked. "Ben?"

The voice that answered was different but not unknown to her. "It's Han. Chewie has Ben. We're going home."

Home. The word was strange to Rey's ears. Until a few months ago, home for her had meant Jakku. Lately she had come to think of Takodana as her home. But Rey reasoned he must mean Leia's living quarters on Hosnian Prime. Either that, or the Millennium Falcon, which had been a shelter and cornerstone for the Skywalker-Solo family longer than any particular location.

Despite her exhaustion, Rey lifted her head and tried to speak. "Han … the others …"

"We're all fine."

"But Snoke …"

Han stopped walking to deliver the news: "Snoke is dead." He adjusted his jacket around her, smiling as she gaped at him. "He won't hurt you or any of us anymore."

Rey felt close to laughing, or crying, or both. Instead she sighed and relaxed against Han, who held her a little tighter and resumed the trek to the ship. Rey caught a final glimpse of Nymeve Lake before they went up the ramp—it was beautiful with the sun sparkling on the water. Once they crossed the threshold he murmured, "You're safe now, kid."

He carried her into the lounge, where Ben sat on a bunk, stripped to the waist, one hand holding a blanket around himself, while Chewbacca taped a bacta patch to his wounded shoulder. Maz was laying out another blanket and some towels on the dejarik table. BB-8 and R2-D2 were in a corner, exchanging hushed but animated beeps as they recounted their experiences of the past several hours.

Seeing Han and Rey, Ben stood at once, pushing against Chewbacca's restraining arm. "Dad! What kept you? Is she—"

"She's fine," Han answered quickly.

Rey turned her head outward and met the eyes of the one person she most wanted to see in the galaxy. "Ben," she breathed.

"Rey." His voice was choked with a myriad of emotions, chief among them relief, as he reached for her.

Han hesitated. "Are you sure you can—"

"I'm strong enough," Ben insisted. With that, Han passed Rey carefully to Ben, supporting her weight until his son held her securely in his arms, then took back his jacket. Rey arched her back and put her arms around Ben's neck, hugging him as he cradled her. They did not speak—words could not do justice to everything they felt—but held each other tightly. He kissed her cheek, then looked over her shoulder at the man who had given her to him. "Thank you."

Han half smiled, then cupped his son's cheek in his hand. Ben leaned into his touch, thanking him again, not just for bringing his love to him, but for what his father had allowed him to do for her a short while ago. Then Han stepped back to let them reconnect.

Ben sat back down on the bunk, still holding Rey, so she ended up sitting on his lap. "Is this okay?" he asked, realizing this was closer than usual for them.

She rested her head on his shoulder. "More than okay."

Maz handed them another blanket and a towel. "Get those extra layers off," she instructed. "You'll get dry and warm faster without them."

Later on they might giggle at the fact that they had basically been told to undress each other, but right now they were too tired and emotional to joke about it. Rey just took off her outer tunic, and Ben unwrapped the cloth strips on her arms. Once her arms were bare she wrapped them around his middle, and he pulled the blanket around both of them as he hugged her back.

"I was so afraid …" Rey began.

"I know," Ben said. "It's okay. We're safe now."

They were both bruised and battered, but they were alive, human, safe, and together. That was the greatest joy they could have asked for in that moment.

Luke ducked in from the cockpit. "Ship's ready. Are we all here?"

"Yup," Han answered. "Maz, are you coming or staying?"

"Staying. You're welcome to stay too," Maz said.

"Thanks, but Leia will want us back as soon as possible."

The prospect of seeing Leia again lifted Rey's heart, but the thought of leaving Maz behind troubled her. The diminutive pirate met her eyes and seemed to know what she was thinking. "Go with them," Maz said gently. "You've worked long enough."

"Maz—I don't know how to thank—"

"Don't start, child." Maz's smile was small, but her eyes were full of affection. "This was one adventure I was glad to be part of."

BB-8 rolled up to them and chirped, asking what it should do.

"You go too," Maz told the droid. "You waited for your master long enough. Now you must seek him out." She took Rey's hand and promised, "We will meet again."

Rey managed a smile. "May the Force be with you."

Maz nodded, then hugged Chewbacca before disembarking from the ship. Han and Luke wasted no time taking off. Chewie excused himself from the lounge with the promise of getting some hot water bottles and tea, but this may have been his tactful way of giving the younger humans some privacy.

When the others were gone, silence filled the lounge, except for the mechanical hum of the ship. For a while they did not make eye contact, but huddled together under their blankets, trying to lend each other warmth.

"Are you really alright?" Ben asked.

"I'm fine," Rey assured him. "Just tired. It's been a long night."

"When we get home, you can sleep as long as you want." Ben relished the idea of finally having her nearby, being able to take care of her, provide for her, be with her. She would never have to work again unless she wished to do so. "Do you want to lie down? Or do you want me to hold you?"

"Hm. Both sound good."

"Here." Ben turned, set her down on the bunk, and lay down next to her. Rey rolled onto her side to face him and snuggled under his left arm, her head resting near his heart. Keeping one arm firmly around her waist, his other hand grasped hers and held it against his chest. "You feel comfortable?"

She smiled. "Better than that. I feel safe."

Ben closed his eyes, tightening his arm around her. "Good." He would have gladly dedicated the rest of his life to making sure she never felt unsafe again.

"I still can't believe what you did," Rey muttered.

"Are you mad?"

"Maybe a little. I wish you'd at least told me what you were trying to do."

"I was pretty sure you wouldn't let me if you knew the details."

"You're right about that." Rey lifted her head to look at his face. "Thank you," she whispered.

He touched her face tenderly. "No, Rey. Thank you. I went there to save you—"

"And you did."

"—but you also saved me."

"We saved each other," she conceded.

"I hope we never have to again. But if we do, I'll be there for you."

"And I for you."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "Always."

Rey laid her head down again and dozed while Ben's fingers trailed across her hair, her neck, and her shoulders. She was almost asleep when Chewbacca came in with the hot water bottles and drinks. He stopped when he spotted them lying together on the bunk. Meeting the wookiee's gaze, Ben held a finger up to his lips, begging him to stay quiet about this. Chewbacca gave him a knowing look, though Ben could not tell if it was meant to be reproachful, indulgent, or amused. He did not say a word, but handed Ben a hot water bottle and put another blanket over the two of them.

The young lovers were both asleep, or close to it, when Han's voice roused them. "Kids? We're touching down on Hosnian Prime." When they did not answer or stir right away, he went on, "I know you're tired, and you'll get to sleep soon, but Leia will want to see you."

"Leia," Rey murmured, extricating herself from Ben's embrace. They sat up and put on the rest of their still-damp clothes. Chewbacca half-jokingly offered to carry them again, but they had enough energy to stand and walk, though they still supported each other as they disembarked.

Greer Sonnell was at the hangar with a speeder to transport them to the apartment complex. She stood at attention as they approached. "Captain Solo. Master Jedi." She eyed Rey warily. "Is this the real Rey?"

"The one and only," Han replied with a smile.

"Hi," Rey said. She did not look like much, after taking part in so many fights in less than a standard day and then being dunked in a lake. She certainly looked nothing like the seductive warrior who had infiltrated the party.

Perhaps that was what won over Greer, who smiled and inclined her head. "Greer Sonnell, at your service. I'm glad to meet the real you."

The speeder ride was quiet, as no one had enough energy for conversation. More than one person dozed and nodded off, only to jerk awake when they reached their destination.

C-3PO let them into the apartment. Inside, Leia stood in her dressing gown, flanked by Korr Sella and Tai.

Before the droid could make any introductions, Leia came up and pulled Rey into a hug. For a minute they held each other without speaking, looking for all the world like a mother and daughter. It struck Ben how deeply and genuinely they cared about each other. Rey herself appeared rather childlike as she held onto the older woman, but there was also a trace of guilt in her expression that Leia could not see.

Finally Leia released Rey and opened her arms to Ben. He bent down to hug her, and she kissed his cheek. When she let him go, she clasped his hand as well as Rey's. "I'm so glad you're both safe," she said, looking between them with equal affection.

"I heard the Knights of Ren were here. Was anyone hurt?" Rey asked anxiously.

"No. The knights were arrested, and everyone went home safely. Tai was very helpful with that," Leia said, tossing her head at the young Jedi. He held up his hand in greeting.

Korr Sella cleared her throat. "Um, I have something to say." Everyone, including Leia, turned to her in slight surprise. "We haven't met, Rey, but I work for Princess Leia, and—I feel terribly responsible for what happened. I let the wrong person enter Princess Leia's home and brought them to the party. I'm very sorry."

"Oh—that's not your fault," Rey exclaimed.

"You had never met Rey, you couldn't have known what she's like," Ben reasoned. "I should have known better."

"Don't start that again," Rey scolded him. Her exhaustion coupled with her deep gratitude made her voice sound somber but admiring as she told Leia, "Your son is a hero."

Ben shook his head and said, "I didn't do anything she wouldn't have done."

"What did you do?" Leia asked, with more curiosity than apprehension.

Her question was met with an uncomfortable silence. Suddenly it seemed like none of the rescue party could meet Leia's or each other's eyes.

"Well?" Leia's voice was clipped.

Han stepped in. "Leia, we'll fill you in tomorrow. The kids have been through a lot."

"Right. Greer, will you drop off Korrie on your way home?"

"Of course," her chauffeur said.

Luke spoke up then. "Leia, may I use your computer? I need to send a message to my students." He explained to Ben and Tai, "Anyone can go back to the temple when they're ready, but I'm going to extend the vacation by a few days—give us some time to debrief and tie off loose ends."

Ben nodded. "Good idea."

"I guess I'll take my leave then," Tai said. "Ben—I'm glad things worked out." He smiled gently at Rey. "I hope to know you better."

For a while there was some bustle as the family and friends cleaned themselves up and made sleeping arrangements.

"Rey can stay with Leia in our room," Han offered. "Chewie and I will sleep on the Falcon. Luke, if you're staying, you can take the couch."

"Thank you," Luke said. "I think I will."

The returning heroes each took a turn in the fresher—Rey had to be shown how the shower worked, and marveled at the luxury of warm running water—and, at Leia's urging, drank some calming tea. It was close to morning on Hosnian Prime when they all finally went to bed. Rey and Ben embraced and kissed each other one more time, and then went into their respective rooms. Reluctant as they were to part, they understood the necessity of it—if they slept together it would be difficult to keep from touching each other after sharing such an intense experience.

Ben fell asleep almost as soon as he lay down, so he did not hear Rey's words or sense her emotions as she sat on the bed facing Leia and said, "I need to tell you some things."

Ben was not sure how late he had slept when he finally woke. His sleep had been remarkably dreamless. When he opened his window blinds with the Force, he judged from the sun that it was about midday. When he focused on the life signatures in the apartment, he sensed Rey still asleep in his mother's room, and Luke snoring in the living room, while Leia bustled around the kitchen.

He was still lying listlessly on his bed, wondering whether to get up or continue resting, when Leia knocked softly on his door and entered his room, holding a plate of breakfast pastries. "I felt you wake up," she said, by way of explanation.

"You're not at your office," Ben observed. Was she actually taking time off?

"I'm working from home today." She set the plate on the side table. "How are you feeling?"

Ben sat up and answered shortly, "I'm fine. How's Rey?"

Leia sat down on the edge of his bed. "Still asleep. I told her last night to rest as long as she wants."

Ben nodded, but pressed, "She's really okay? She wasn't—angry, or afraid, or sad, last night?"

"She didn't seem so. But she told me she had to make a confession, before I did her any more favors."

"What?"

Leia looked at him knowingly. "She told me what you did for her. And what she almost did to you."

"… Oh." Ben did not know how to respond. He had, in fact, been hoping to gloss over the fact that Rey had attacked him and considered killing him. "W-why did she do that?"

"She wanted to come clean. She feels guilty for her actions, and for yours. She thinks it's her fault that we almost lost you." Leia smiled in assurance. "Don't worry, I set her straight."

"So you're not mad at either of us?"

"Hardly. I hate that monster Snoke for what he almost made her do to you, and what he drove you to do for her. But as for you, Ben … I'm proud of you. We all are. More than I can say."

He stared at her, almost afraid to believe those words that he had longed to hear for so long. She had spoken similarly before the party, but now he had actually done something that merited her pride.

Leia smiled at his incredulity. "Lady Carise thinks nobility is some abstract quality that you inherit. But what you did last night, offering yourself in Rey's stead—that's the most noble thing I've ever heard."

The mention of her colleague reminded Ben of what had happened at the party, and Rey's reaction to learning about it. He knew she would want him to make amends, and seeing how forgiving Leia was being made him want to do so. "Mom … what I said at the party, about not needing anyone … I shouldn't have said that, especially so publicly. I'm sorry."

Leia nodded slowly. "I accept your apology. And I'm sorry we've made you feel like you had to carry those weights."

Ben was not sure any words could absolve so many years of pain and discomfort. So instead of answering, he asked, "What about what happened afterwards? Are either of us in trouble?"

"No. I'll have to sort out the knights' situation—that might be a bit complicated—but we didn't break any laws; we defended ourselves and our esteemed guests. My friends have agreed to vouch for us if necessary."

Ben looked down at his hands, remembering how close he had come to having blood on them, both literally and figuratively. "When we arrived on Takodana, I attacked the knights' leader. It wasn't really necessary, and it wouldn't even have helped us. I was so easy to bait—all he had to do was mention Rey, talk about hurting her or—" He broke off, unable to finish the horrendous thought. "Then Snoke found me and offered a deal … I came so close to giving in. I would have, if Rey hadn't talked me out of it—she figured agreeing would be even worse than refusing him. If she hadn't been so brave and willing to sacrifice, I don't think I could have been."

Leia laid a hand on his shoulder. "That confirms what I suspected: you and Rey are good for each other. I don't mean that you make each other feel good, as important as that is; I mean you help each other to be better people."

"I guess. She seems to already think I'm a better person than I really am. She said she believed in me, even before she had much reason to." Ben shook his head. "Everyone thinks they see things in me that aren't there. Even her. She showed me what she sees in me, but our perception is so different … I don't know if I'm really that person. I'm selfish and cynical, and after what happened at the party, I'm probably going to be paranoid for the rest of my life."

They both laughed a little at that, but then Leia said seriously, "You're human, Ben. Everyone feels those tensions between selfishness and selflessness, hope and fear, light and dark. It's a lifelong struggle. That's what being a Jedi is truly about—turning toward the light. And that's what you did last night."

Hearing Leia talk about the Jedi reminded Ben of what he had seen her do at the party. She did not just have power in the Force, she had the skill and knowledge necessary to wield it. And yet she continuously chose not to. "You should have trained me. Not Luke."

Leia suddenly lost her calm, self-assured manner. She lowered her eyes and said, "I didn't think I could. I didn't finish my own training."

"You're just as brave, just as skilled, and even wiser than he is," Ben insisted. "I'm not flattering, that's the truth—whatever that's worth to you." He looked at her with reproach. Leia did not understand his words or his expression, until he stated, "You didn't tell me about Darth Vader."

Leia's shoulders sagged, and suddenly she looked much older than her fifty-some years. "No. I didn't. I owe you an apology for that."

"Yeah, you do."

"I am sorry, Ben. I don't really have an excuse, this late in your life. But if it makes any difference … for me, it wasn't just because I was worried about how it would impact you. It was because … it hurts me to know it, and it hurts even more to talk about it. That's why I never do, unless it's absolutely necessary with your father or uncle. And I didn't want you to have to carry that pain—the anger, the shame, the hurt—even if it was a lesser degree for you."

"I guess I can understand that," Ben said grudgingly. But then something occurred to him that made him groan, pressing a hand to his forehead. "Now I have to tell Rey."

Leia's eyes widened; she had not thought of this either. "Do you?"

Ben would not even consider hiding this knowledge from her. "If she wants to have a future with me—if she wants to be part of this family, and maybe have kids someday—she has the right to know whose blood she'd be mingling hers with."

Leia raised her brow at him. "Are you planning to pop the question?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"I'd like you to be happy," Leia said simply. "And I'd like Rey to be happy. You both deserve that, after everything you've been through."

For a moment Ben seriously considered it. He could improvise a ring or some other token. But a few nagging thoughts held him back.

"I found out something last night. Rey and I don't just have a Force bond. We're a dyad in the Force."

If Leia understood what that meant, she took the news quite calmly. "That sounds like a good thing. Why do you seem upset by it?"

Ben smiled wryly and shook his head. "It explains so much. No one in their right mind would love me as much as she does, unless there was already some connection between us."

Leia's voice lost all its softness. "That's the most nonsensical thing I've ever heard you say." Ben looked at her in surprise, and saw her reproachful expression. "She fell for you because you were kind to her. You gave her your time, attention, knowledge; you even shared your home and family with her. And I'm sure your good looks didn't hurt either. Whatever this connection is, it may have enhanced your relationship, but it didn't cause it."

Ben considered this, but still had a difficult time believing it. Then, to prove his point, he decided to ask something he had wondered but never dared to voice. "Would you love me if I wasn't your son? Suppose you hadn't raised me, and we just crossed paths, like you and Luke and Vader. Would you like the person I am?"

Leia met his gaze steadily and answered with conviction. "Yes. As a matter of fact, if I got to know the man you are now, I would like you very much. I would love the boy who wanted to be a pilot, gives me a run for my money at sabacc, and writes better than anyone who can use a pen. And I respect any man who fights for what he loves."

Ben felt the sincerity of her words.

Leia took his hand, which rather dwarfed her own. "You may not be a little boy, but you'll always be my son. And last night, you were everything I ever hoped you would be. And while your uncle would preach humility, I say you should be proud of yourself. I know I am, and so are Rey and Luke and your dad."

Ben turned his hand to hold hers, squeezing slightly. "Thanks, Mom."

Leia pulled him into a hug, and suddenly Ben felt like a child again, secure in his mother's arms. "I love you, Ben. You know that, don't you?"

"I do, Mom. And I love you, too. Thanks for—well—everything."

"You're more than welcome. And so is Rey."

The rest of the day passed slowly, as Rey and Luke continued to sleep, while Ben hung out in his room or outdoors, not wanting to be far when Rey woke.

Han and Chewbacca came in and out, picking up food and cooking enough for everyone. At Ben's request, Han brought the gold dice from the Millennium Falcon—he had an idea for something that would require them.

When Luke woke in the early afternoon, he made some calls and errands, and otherwise tried to help Ben pass the time with sparring, meditating, and calligraphy.

Leia worked from the kitchen table, exchanging messages and having her staff run errands for her. The two Clawdites were in the custody of the New Republic, and she was working out a way to transport the Knights of Ren currently being held at Maz's castle.

"The Mandalorians used to have containers that could subdue a Force-user. That might be the safest way. And these knights should be able to tell us more about the First Order." She sighed, rubbing her temple. "It's my worst fear realized—the galaxy is heading toward war. I only hope this will make the Senate listen to reason."

"You've said so often that the Senate is a lost cause," Han cautioned her.

"I've never said that. Implied it, maybe. But even if that's true, I still have to try."

Her family could only marvel at her unflagging perseverance.

The only one who seemed to share Ben's restlessness was BB-8. The droid shared its own story while the organic beings ate dinner. It said that its owner was a pilot named Poe Dameron. That name was familiar to the Rebellion veterans, though it took them a few minutes to piece together their memories: they had known a Sergeant Kes Dameron and his wife, pilot Shara Bey.

"They had a young child when the war ended," Luke remembered. "It might have been this Poe."

"If he's in the New Republic, it shouldn't be too hard to find him," Leia said.

Ben, who had never liked droids, actually knelt down to pat the astromech's sphere. "We'll get you back home," he promised. "I owe you after your help with the porgs. Thank you for that."

A few times, Ben went into Leia's bedroom for a minute to see Rey, more to assure himself than to check on her wellbeing. She seemed to be sleeping soundly. Ben would have loved to get into the bed and fall asleep with her, but he did not dare test that boundary with his parents or her. Instead, he touched her hair lightly and kissed her temple. "Sweet dreams," he whispered to her. It was a phrase he remembered from his childhood, but it was exactly what he hoped for her.