I Should Tell You
A/N: Well this is a fic that combines Gilmore Girls with Rent. I mean what better combination? I love them both and an idea popped into my head of how they could be related. The setting is the middle of Season 6, shortly after Luke finds out about April. I also did a fan art of a similar idea back in January and you can find the link at the end of the story. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls belongs to ASP and the wonderful people at the WB. All lyrics from Rent songs belong to Jonathan Larson.
"Oh, my god! I cannot believe that you've never seen Rent before," Lorelai said incredulously to Luke as she placed the disk into the DVD player. They decided to stay in and have a movie night together. The coffee table was completely full with food from Luke's as well as some leftover take-outs that were in the fridge.
"What can I say…" mumbled Luke in reply, who was already sitting down on the couch.
"I am just in shock that there are still Rent virgins out there," Lorelai said smiling as she joined him on the couch.
"First Pippi Longstocking, now this," Luke said shaking his head, referencing their double date with Rory and Dean from way back when at the "Black, White, and Read" movie theater. "Hey wait a minute," he began. "Didn't you say that you just saw this recently for the first time when it was in theaters?"
"Well, um, I might have said that…" she answered nervously. Luke only smirked at her. "But at least I've seen it!" she finished triumphantly.
"I give up," he said smiling.
"Good. Now you remember all the rules for watching a movie, right?" she asked him.
"How could I forget?"
"Okay, but, uh, you can't squish during the movie because it's distracting. That's rule number one," Lorelai said.
"There's rules?" Luke asked aghast.
"Oh, yeah, especially for a true classic like 'Casablanca'." She continued, "Okay, the rest of the rules - no talking during the movie. No exceptions during a true classic. And minimize distraction. You know, no shifting around a lot, no phone calls, nothing. No going to the bathroom. If you go, you miss the movie 'cause we're not pausing the movie. That's the only way to get the flow of the thing, okay?"
"Fair enough," he replied.
"Okay. Here we go," she said as she started the movie.
They had both been watching the main menu screen as "Seasons of Love" played in the background.
"That's a cool menu," he said as he watched the collage of characters and scenes from the movie.
"Yeah, it is," she agreed. She turned to him. "Alright well since this is your first time watching it, I'll try to refrain from singing along to every single song 'cuz you know that I know all the lyrics. And because this is such a great movie, there will be minimum mocking from me." Luke gave her a doubtful look. "I promise!" she insisted.
"Okay, let's start it." Lorelai pressed the 'play' button and set the remote between them on the coffee table. She then took a big bite out of one of the burgers from Luke's and leaned back against the cushions on the couch, tucking her legs underneath herself.
He watched her eat and a slow smile began to spread across his face. Even in the dark sitting on this couch, she still looks so amazing, he thought. He still couldn't believe that she was his, always and forever, and that one day soon they would be joined in holy matrimony. But one small thought kept creeping into his mind. He decided to ignore it for now and he turned his attention back to the movie.
The movie was progressing. Every now and then, Luke could see Lorelai lip-synching the words to the songs or the dialogue. And even though it was kind of distracting, he just thought it was, well, cute.
They were now at the scene where Roger and Mimi first meet. They were both walking around Roger's apartment singing "Light My Candle."
Mimi:
It's nothing
They turned off my heat
And I'm just a little
Weak on my feet
Would you light my candle?
What are you staring at?
Roger:
Nothing
Your hair in the moonlight
You look familiar
Can you make it?
Mimi:
Just haven't eaten much today
At least the room stopped spinning
Anyway. What?
Roger:
Nothing
Your smile reminded me of --
Mimi:
I always remind people of -- who is she?
Roger:
She died. Her name was April
Luke sat there, his whole body frozen at the sound of that word, that little word, which had such newfound significance for him. Quickly, he shot Lorelai a panicked look. But, of course, she was still watching the scene, completely oblivious to the sudden suffering Luke was going through. As she should be, he thought miserably to himself. I probably should have checked through the names of the characters before watching this. But why on earth would I ever think to do that? Suddenly that little gnawing thought was back in his brain. The feelings of guilt, secrets, lies, distrust, and honesty. Yes, honesty. And with that thought came back the memories of their talk, the "no more secrets" talk.
"I'm never going to be okay with Christopher being in your life," he told her, as they sat in his apartment.
"I'm always going to have Christopher in my life," she replied sadly.
"Yeah."
"He's Rory's father. I can't change that. Today was the first day I heard Christopher's voice in a year and I would have told you!"
"We can't hide things from each other," he said in a serious tone.
"I know," she replied softly, nodding her head.
"I'm not going to like it when Christopher calls, but we have to tell each other everything."
"Agreed."
"That's the only way this is going to work."
"I know," she repeated.
"You really hate the bedroom set?"
She shuddered. "Oh, I really hate the bedroom set. I'm sorry I told you like that."
"Yeah, well." He sighed. "So how are Sookie and Jackson doing?"
"I think they enjoyed watching a show for once that didn't have La-La playing the guitar."
"Come here," Luke said smiling as he motioned for her to join him in the chair.
"I want a Barbie and a pony and roller skates and roller skates for the Barbie and for the pony - ,"she said, pretending he was Santa, as she sat on his lap smiling back.
"No secrets," he said kissing her gently.
"Cross my heart and hope to die," she quipped.
"No, I hate that saying.
"No secrets," she agreed as they kissed again. "Luke."
"Yeah?"
"When I was in fifth grade, I told everybody that Eric Estrada was my boyfriend and that we used to make out on his motorcycle."
"Shh," he said, silencing her with a kiss.
He smiled, remembering her sitting on his lap, when they had made up in his apartment. But his guilt instantly brought him back to the present. Jeez, how could I do this to her? I'm such a hypocrite! he thought angry at himself. But he couldn't tell her here, not in the middle of the movie.
He turned back to the TV screen and heard Mimi sing, "They call me, They call me Mimi." Luke gave a small sigh of relieve, happy that the scene was over and that there had been no more mention of, that name.
They were now up to the "Life Support" scene. The character (Luke couldn't keep track of them all, even though they had all just introduced themselves) was standing up, singing:
Look - I find some of what you teach suspect
Because I'm used to relying on intellect
But I try to open up to what I don't know…
Lorelai was leaning forward on the couch, inching her face closer to the TV screen.
"What is it?" Luke curiously asked her.
"That guy looks so familiar!" she replied.
"Which one?"
"Gordon, the guy singing. Doesn't that actor look familiar?"
"Maybe you've seen him somewhere else before," Luke answered reasonably.
"Hmm, yeah maybe," she said, eyes still locked on Gordon.
The whole company was singing now:
No other road
No other way
No day but today
No day but today, hmm? That last phrase seemed to stick in Luke's head, mixing in with all the other things he had racing through his mind.
The big dance number and song "La Vie Boheme" had just finished. Lorelai had asked permission to sing along because really, who could resist singing along to such a sing along song? That's repetitive and redundant, thought Lorelai. Luke had granted her permission dirty, if you must since she had been quiet during most of the movie. She was now sitting back down on the couch, tired out (because how could one resist dancing to such a song too?). Luke had his arm around her back and she rested her head on his shoulder, snuggling into the crook of his neck. He leaned his head on top of hers and subconsciously rubbed her shoulder with his thumb. This is nice, they both thought. Lorelai was happy, a little sleepy, but happy.
Their heads were still both facing the movie. Roger and Mimi had just stepped outside into the winter night and started singing "I Should Tell You."
"Snow!" exclaimed a joyful Lorelai. Luke only rolled his eyes in response.
Roger:
I should tell you I'm disaster
I forget how to begin it
Mimi:
Let's just make this part go faster
I have yet -- To be in it
I should tell you
Roger:
I should tell you
Mimi:
I should tell you
Roger:
I should tell you
Mimi:
I should tell I blew the candle out
Just to get back in
Roger:
I'd forgotten how to smile
Until your candle burned my skin
Mimi:
I should tell you
Roger:
I should tell you
Both:
I should tell --
Well here we go
Now we --
Mimi:
Oh no
Roger:
I know -- this something is
Here goes--
Mimi:
Here goes
Roger:
Guess so
It's starting to
-Who knows-
Mimi:
Who knows
Both:
Who knows where
Who goes there
Who knows
Here goes
Trusting desire - starting to learn
Walking through fire without a burn
Clinging - a shoulder a leap begins
Stinging and older, asleep on pins
So here we go
Now we--
Roger:
Oh no
Mimi:
I know
Roger:
Oh no
Both:
Who knows where - who goes there
Here goes - Here goes
Here goes - Here goes
Here goes - Here goes
Mimi and Roger share a small kiss
Luke sat there, slightly in disbelief. Is this movie trying to tell me something? he thought. And what's up with that scene, anyhow? They both go on and on about how they should tell each other something and then they don't say anything at all, besides the candle stuff, and yet he still wins the girl in the end and they kiss? Not very realistic, if you ask me. Normally Luke would share this rant with her, but he couldn't. He didn't want her getting suspicious over anything. Yeah, because I have nothing to hide, he thought sarcastically.
But the truth was, he did have something to hide. Something he had been keeping to himself for a little while now. And though he hated to admit it, those lyrics were now permanently stuck in his head. He should tell her. He knew he should. But how would he begin? What would he say? And most importantly, how would she react to his news? He remembered how his sister, Liz, had reacted happily when she found out.
"I don't know what to do. I'm just so confused," Luke confessed to Liz.
"Well, what did Lorelai say?" she asked. Luke glanced down. "You haven't told her," she said, somewhat shocked that he would tell her this news before Lorelai.
"We're engaged, we're on track here, her and me. And Rory's back, so that's settled now. We're in a good place! You know, this could wreck it," he rambled on, admitting all his fears and concerns.
"It won't wreck it. Not unless you let it."
But had he let it wreck it? Suddenly, little pieces of dialogue and lyrics from Rent songs bombarded his head:
"She died. Her name was April…"
"We can't hide things from each other."
"No secrets."
"No day but today."
"I'm sorry, did you say your father?"
"I should tell you. I should tell you. I should tell you."
"I didn't know about you. If I did I would've, uh - "
"She's back. We can set the date. We can get married now, because Rory's back!"
"Here goes - Here goes."
It then just became all too much! He had to sort this all out, no, there was no time for that. He needed to tell her. He needed to tell her soon before it got any worse. He needed to -
He picked up the DVD remote that had been lying on the table. He quickly pressed the 'pause' button.
Lorelai lifted her head up from where it had been resting on his shoulder. She sat up, looked at him, and gave him a puzzling look. She noticed his serious face. "Luke?" she asked somewhat surprised, shocked, and concerned.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Lorelai, there's something I-I should tell you…"
A/N 2: Haha, my very first cliffhanger! You might think you know what happens next, but you might not be right. What if Luke chickens out after all? What if he doesn't tell her what you're thinking he's going to tell her? Or what if he does? I guess you'll have to wait and see!
I hope you liked the 9-page first chapter of this story. Well you know what you have to do, just review! (yes that rhymed) But seriously, your reviews motivate me to write and make writing this all worth while!
I'm thinking of making this a two-part story, maybe longer. All depends on those lovely reviews from you, my reader.
A/N 3: Here's that link I promised you guys in the first Author's Note. Again, I made this GG art back in January (during the winter hiatus) and it has the same name as this story (it was my inspiration)
http/img48.imageshack.us/img48/6166/ggishouldtellyou15062yf.png
OR
http/i22. link will work, the first is a larger image)
Feel free to leave in your review your thoughts of it :)
A/N 4: Gordon from Rent is played by Wayne Wilcox. You know, same actor that played Gilmore Girl's Marty, the Yale "naked guy." Maybe you've heard of him? So no, Lorelai wasn't imagining things. ;)