Author's Note: Yes, I am alive! Shocking, is it not? But I am hoping to update more. Note, I said hoping. Not promising. I also have an Easter one-shot planned. Chocolate and albino rabbits abound! Thanks to Kristen Sharpe for an idea for this, and as for Kisskitty….yep, what you said pretty much sums it up.
NB: This chapter will focus a bit on what happened before Inuyasha met Kagome, and what the deal really is with him. Flashbacks galore! Hopefully the will clear some things up, because I think a few people are confused.
So, without further ado, the next chapter!
Oops….had a mix-up in the first upload…XD Oh well. Tis fixed now! Meryet, REVIEW!
()o0o()
Horrible. Ghastly. Vile. That was how he felt at that moment. 'But no longer,' Inuyasha thought, clenching and unclenching his fists slowly. He moved silently towards the two bathing girls. He ran his tongue over his fangs, savouring the bitter blood as the points of his teeth pierced the flesh. Soon, it wouldn't be his blood that he tasted…it would be theirs.
But the sharpness of his blood instilled a memory in him; a memory so powerful it forced him to his knees, his now-golden eyes wide, with one word ringing in his ears: Mother.
()o0o()
"Mama, is Father watching me? Right now?" The small boy tipped his head on one side, squinting up at the bright light of the moon. He gazed around at the castle grounds, and then twisted his head to glance inquisitively at the woman who stood beside him, her long black hair flecked with snow.
"Of course, Inuyasha." Izayoi pulled her son into a warm embrace and rested her hands on his shoulder. "Your father is always with you. Just like I will be. Remember that." She scooped Inuyasha into her arms, lifting him up to catch the flakes of gently falling snow.
"But you're not going anywhere, are you Mama? You're going to stay right here." Inuyasha said firmly, entwining his fingers in his mother's raven hair. "I bet Father can wait a while, anyway. He knows I need you more than he does."
Izayoi smiled sadly and kissed the top of her son's head. "You'll have me forever, little one. You will always –" She broke off suddenly with a cry of pain. Her grip on Inuyasha loosened until he fell to the ground, turning in time to see a spattering of blood stain the snow as his mother collapsed, the feathered shaft of an arrow protruding from her back.
"Mama…?" Inuyasha whispered in a daze, rubbing his head where it had hit the hard ground. Izayoi's chest heaved as she coughed up blood, but she turned her head slightly and reached for Inuyasha's hand. "You will always…" she gave another pain-wracked gasp, "…be loved." As she spoke her last words, she sighed and her body went limp.
"Mama?" Inuyasha whimpered again. The sound of footsteps crunching in the snow made him look up. A group of his mother's soldiers stood before him, one holding a bow. "Leave the child." One of them said, yanking the arrow from Izayoi's back and tossing it into the pond. "He won't survive much longer." He kicked Inuyasha in the stomach and then signalled for his men to follow him.
As they walked away, Inuyasha got to his knees and shuffled closer to his mother's body, cringing as his ribs protested in agony. He reached out a hand to pat her shoulder tentatively. "Mama? It's time to wake up now. The bad men are gone. Mama?" He gently nudged Izayoi's head with his. "Mama, I don't want you to go with Father yet. Please stay with me. Please?" Tears stung at his eyes and made their way down his cheeks.
With the taste of his own blood in his mouth, Inuyasha curled up next to his mother and wrapped himself in the folds of her kimono. "Mama's not coming back." The scent of her blood burned his nose, but he ignored it and nestled into her, closing his eyes against the sight of blood staining the snow and the water in the pond.
The mind of a child cannot register the effect of death, nor can it comprehend how or why it happens. But something born into the hearts of each of us tells us what we don't want to believe; that someone who was so dear to us can never return.
It is not until we are older, when we have experienced loss in its greatest form, that we know the true infinity of death. It will take us all; in fact, it is the one thing we can be truly sure of. For a race that so longs to force dominance over all else, death terrifies us. It is inevitable, and in itself has the power to destroy us. But is that why we seek to control the demise of others? To wrench them away from the grip life has on us, to destroy all sense of hope in those left behind.
To live is to die, to die is to live. That cruel knowledge seeps into the heart and threatens to destroy all we have worked for. With each passing day, the heart is weakened, and weakened further still, until there is nothing left but to wallow in all that we have lost.
There is no escaping death.
There is no delaying death.
There is no redemption but death.
There is nothing to wait for but death.
()o0o()
Inuyasha gasped and dug his claws into the soft dirt beneath him. He shook his head wildly and rubbed furiously at his eyes, attempting to banish the painful memory.
/Mama's not coming back/
The flashbacks hadn't happened for a while now. Just another sign that he was getting weaker. /Mama's not coming back/ No matter how hard he tried to forget, the brightness of the white, the hollowness of the black, and the sickening, hideous glare of the red were seared into his eyes.
/Mama's not coming back/
Inuyasha drew in another deep breath, his lungs screaming for air. 'Mother…' His head was burning, and he gripped a tree for support. /Mama's not coming back/ The grief built up inside of him until he let out a scream of anguish and lashed out at the nearby trees.
Nearby, Sango glanced up from the steaming water of the hot spring. "Kagome? Did you just hear something? It sounded like someone was out there."
"Uh…" Kagome frowned. "I don't think so. Maybe it was a bird?"
The thrashing noise came again, and Sango raised an eyebrow at Kagome. "Must be a pretty big bird. That guy just doesn't know when to quit." She sought out a nice, large boulder, complete with pointy protrusions, and hoisted it above her head.
"Sango?" Kagome warned, wringing her hands uneasily. "You don't want to do anything you'd regret."
"Trust me," Sango snarled, "I am in no way going to regret this. Houshi-sama!" She hurled the massive chunk of rock in the direction of the noise. At the sound of a satisfying clunk! and a yelp of pain, Sango dusted her hands off. "That takes care of that little nuisance. Come on Kagome, we'd better get back to Kaede's."
"Uh, sure." Kagome laughed nervously.
()o0o()
Kagome, still wringing out her wet hair, pushed aside the flap to Kaede's hut and stepped inside. She tipped her head quizzically at what she saw. "Sango?" She called over her shoulder. "Miroku's in here."
"Is he?" Sango slipped past Kagome and frowned at Miroku, who was speaking with Kaede about a relatively boring and unimportant herb. "What are you doing here, Houshi-sama?"
Miroku looked up. "I'm minding my own business. I decided I'd rather not have any more concussions tonight."
"Oh." Sango glanced back in the direction of the hot spring. "Well in that case, it was probably just a random peeping tom I hit. No matter." She put her hands on her hips, eying Miroku sternly. "It serves them right."
Kagome ignored the pair and seated herself beside Kaede. "Kaede?" She asked, propping her chin on her hands. "Where were you today? Before Sango and I went to the hot spring?"
"Hm?" The old onna turned slightly. "Oh, that." She said softly. "I was at my sister's grave. It be the anniversary of her death today."
"Your sister?" Sango and Miroku stopped arguing and turned to listen. "I didn't know you had a sister."
Kaede sighed wearily. "Kikyou was her name, though she died a long time ago."
Kagome exchanged glances with Sango. "Do you mind if I ask how she died?" She asked gently.
Shaking her head, Kaede ran a wrinkled hand through her thin hair. "She was killed, by the same monster that be now haunting the dreams of humans. She was the only human he actually killed."
The other fell silent. "That's horrible." Kagome rested a hand on Kaede's arm. "But at least she's at peace now."
Kaede sniffed and nodded. "Yes. That be one thing we can be thankful for."
()o0o()
"Ow…what the hell?" Inuyasha felt droplets of rain hitting his face. He opened his eyes to stare up at the falling rain. "What the hell happened?" He sat up and rubbed his head, feeling the large bump on the back of his skull. "How'd I end up here?"
He got to his feet and looked around him, sniffing the air for anything to get his bearings. 'Kagome…' he thought as the familiar scent flooded his nostrils. 'And…Kaede…' He leapt to a nearby tree, clinging to the trunk as he scrutinised the hut from which the smells were coming from. 'It's her…'
From inside the hut, Kagome hummed to herself as she prepared breakfast for everyone. Kaede helped by bringing her the wooden bowls for the rice. The process was interrupted by the bamboo flap being shoved roughly aside. "Oi, Kagome!" Inuyasha exclaimed. "Where's the brat?"
The bowl in Kaede's hands clattered to the ground, and the old woman stared at him, her eyes wide and hands shaking.
"Huh? Inuyasha?" Kagome blinked at him. "What are you doing here?"
"Looking for the little monster! Where is she?" Inuyasha glanced around the hut, his eyes moving quickly over Kaede, Sango and Miroku.
"Inuyasha." Kaede spoke quietly. "It is I. I have grown old over the years, but I be still Kikyou's sister."
Inuyasha stared incredulously at her. "You're Kaede? 'Grown old over the years', huh? I'd say that's the biggest understatement I've heard. You must be about to cark it any day now."
"Inuyasha!" Kagome whacked him over the head with the pot she was holding. "Don't be rude! And don't I even get a hello? And how do you know Kaede?"
Inuyasha grumbled and rubbed his head. "Don't freak out Kagome. I'm just saying; she looks like she's already dead. Or pretty near it, anyway. And hello." He glared at her, crossing his arms. "And me and that old hag go way back. Don't we, Kaede?" His eyes flicked to Kaede, who still stood staring at him.
She ignored his question. "It was the anniversary of Kikyou's death yesterday. Did ye know that?"
Inuyasha stopped, his insides turning to ice. 'How could I forget?'
()o0o()
"Inuyasha." Kikyou spoke quietly. The hanyou turned at the sound of her voice and smiled. "Yeah? What is it?"
Kikyou quickened her pace to walk beside him. "You know the temple won't approve of us…being together. Does that trouble you?"
"Why should it? They don't have any say over what I do." He stopped suddenly. "Why? Does it bother you?"
"Not at all." Kikyou stopped as well. "I merely wanted your views on the matter." She smiled and reached for his hands, drawing him towards her. Inuyasha responded by wrapping his arms around her upper body, resting his head in her hair.
The two sank to the ground like that, with Inuyasha leaning against the sturdy trunk of the Goshinboku, and Kikyou sitting in front of him. They fell asleep in the same position.
That night, as the wind screamed through the trees, Inuyasha awoke with a start. His amber eyes were now blood-red, the pupils an unearthly green. His grip on the sleeping miko tightened slightly, then more, until his claws were digging into her skin.
Kikyou stirred in her sleep, and opened her eyes. "Inu –" her protest was cut short as Inuyasha pressed his lips to hers, clutching the back of her head. Kikyou melted into his kiss, but stiffened when she felt his claws pierce the nape of her neck.
She pulled away, fear evident in her eyes. "Inuyasha! What are you –" There was a muffled cry as Inuyasha thrust his hands through her back until the tips of his claws showed through her chest, and then roughly wrenched them back out. Kikyou gazed up at him as blood rushed from her wounds, seeping into his haori. A few tears glimmered at the edges of her eyes.
Inuyasha kissed her once more, until he felt all signs of life fade from her body. He let her head drop to the ground in a pool of blood, where he placed one last kiss on her forehead. Inuyasha got to his feet, and without looking back, took off to the branches of the trees, that still screamed in fury.
()o0o()
Author's End Note: Sorry it's not that long. It's late and I can't be assed writing any more. So, just to clear things up:
Kaede knows Inuyasha was in love with Kikyou - she knows that whoever killed Kikyou is the one after Kagome - she doesn't know that person is Inuyasha
Inuyasha knows all of the above - he doesn't know how or why that happened though
Kagome doesn't know anything.
If you're still confuzzled as to why Izayoi's own soldiers killed her, all will be revealed! O In the meantime, leave me a review with all your comments!
NB: I will still update even without reviews, but reviews make me update quicker and help me improve my writing. All you scabby buggers who just read the fic and leave…..curses! You are so not getting a cookie anymore. Hah, bet you're upset now, aren't you! OO So if you guys get a chapter, I get a review! Sounds fair, right?
Aufwiedersehen!
0o0 Miko-chan