Heya! This is my first Oneshot, and guess what! ITS EASTER THEME!sorry, im kinda hyper which is exactly why this is random comedy. Oh, FYI, they are in THIRD GRADE, so don't think their fifteen, then it would ruin the art of young humor. :p hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters...which is exactly why I am plotting domination!
Buahaha! I tell you! BUAHAHAHA! sorry, hyperness is getting te best of me o.O
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Of Eggs and Rivals
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Chapter number: (Oneshot)
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Yes! Finally, Easter has arrived! Easter was like a second Christmas to many young children like Sora Hikari. It was the time when you have an exception to load up on chocolates and candy that the little fluffy bunny leaves you in the morning, and not get in trouble when you realize you have gained four pounds the next day.
Yes, it was a magical holiday for kids as they would gaze up at the infalted Easter Bunnies, and pop them becasue they thought it was the real guy. Houses were decorated with colorful Easter eggs or plastic bunnies to show off how much money they had or because they wanted to see if they have surpassed the other neighbor's decorations. Some houses were even lit up with pink and yellow Christmas lights for more flavor.
One of these houses belonged to Sora Hikari, the naivethird grader who always caused michtief or trouble. He was short with adorable blue eyes that could persuade any parent, teacher, child, you name it. ( In other words he was a great liar.) He was also the one who was known as Riku Honda's best friends... or others said his side-kick. How Sora wanted to be the leader for once, he wanted to beat Riku in just one thing and he shall be dictator of their friendship! The top dog, the head honcho, the big man. He wanted to boss people around like Riku did, he wanted to scare parents like Riku did, and he also wanted to get everything Riku got. Ooooh the power.
But one thing that Riku almost had his hands on that Sora wanted even more: the cute auborn haired girl, Kairi. Sora knew that Riku would have something up his sleeve to steal the girl of his boyish dreams, and take her as his. This is exactly why Sora Hikari had a devious plan...
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Little Sora Hikari woke up with a glimmer in his eye as he creeped out of his room and looked down the hallway from his bed for any sign of parents. Just his luck! The coast was clear! Snickering, he climbed out of his rather large bed, so the top was to about his shoulder. He tip-toed spectically down his wooden stairs and into his living room.
Alas! The Easter Bunny had come! There were two basket, one blue and one pink, filled with a variety of delicious candy, adorned in wrappers of magnificent colors like pink, yellow, and gold. The young boy licked his lips and ran as fast as he could towards the blue, beautifuly crafted basket. But he paid no attention to the decorations, all he wanted was candy...aaaand get all the eggs before his little sister Selphie could even have the idea that there might be eggs.
Two feet away! He was almost there! But to his bad luck, he heard his parents come down the stairs with Selphie in my mother's arms, squeeling happily and clapping her hands together. Her chestnut colored hair was flopping up and down because of her hair's odd shape.
"Sora, what are you doing up? You know you are supposed to wait for the family before you come downstairs!" his mother scolded. A little impatient and silently scolding himself for not waking up earlier, Sora figured he could puppy dog eye himself out of this one.
"I'm sorry mommy, it will never happen again! I promise!" he said, as fake tears began to gloss his widening blue eyes. He even trembled his bottom lip for extra effect. His mother put her hands on her face as sudden motherly guilt washedover her.
"Awwwwww...Sorie-pooh! I'm sorry, I should never have scolded you! Your just a growing boy who wants his fun." his mother said pinching his little cheaks. Sora shuddered inwardly at his mother's baby name, but put on a fake smile and hugged his mother's legs, because that was all he could reach.
" Its okay mommy, I forgive you." Sora said into her legs so it was slightly muffled. But his mother couldn't see his snickering face of victory. His mother 'awwwed' and literally dropped the forgotton Selphie to the floor. Now, a flustered little Selphie was on the floor with her arms crossed as she watched her parents give attention to her suck-up brother. She slightly smirked to herself as she decided to turn the tables. And as all young children do when they wan't attention or were hurt, they cried.
His parents immediately looked over at the crying girl on the floor, and rushed to her. Yes, and according to plan! That gosh dang five year old will never know what hit her! Soea thought trumphantly. Knowing that was going to happen, he sprinted towards his basket and and started laughing manicly around the house, looking for his delicious, chocolate filled plastic eggs.
Selphie noticed her older brother's departure, and ran as fast as her little legs could to her own, over sized basket. But there was one thingl ittle Sora forgot, the best dibs go on the young kids. Everyone knew that the parents always got all the good eggs for the little ones. But...how did they know where all the were? But little Selphie didn't have time to linger on that thought as she began to look 'clueless' and her parents began to load her basket with colorful eggs. Victory is mine Sora. Victory is mine...
Sora continued to sprint throughout the house at intense speed. ( 6.4 miles per hour ) If only Kairi would see me now! He glanced down at his basket and admired his six blue and pink eggs. He looked left, and then right, and spotted a potted plant. Aha! The most popular hiding spot! A plant! Completely wrecking his while pj's, he continued to dig through the dirt of the plant until his face was brown.
"Rats! Not a single egg in that plant! The evolution of egg hiding is evolving..." Sora mumbled to himself, proud of the inteligent words he used, (although it didn't really make sense)as he looked for any other hit spots in the hallway. Aha! An egg! On top of the desk! He ran as fast as his legs could carry him as he reached the desk. But to no avail! The desk was too tall.
"Curse you my short genes! Curse you!" he said to nobody as he clenched his fists in the air. He had to focus, he looked to his left and right. Aha! A chair! He could use it to reach the egg! He dragged the heavy chair in position, as he began to climb onto of it. Yes! He reached the egg!
"Mmmmm...retail..." Sora said, rubbing the pink egg against his cheek. He figured it was the last egg, so he headed for the stairs, thinking of smart comments to say when his sister realizes he got more eggs than her.
He jumped off the bottom step and looked up. But there was Selphie! With melted chocolate covering her tiny mouth, and at least twelve empty plastic eggs surrounding her! Sora clenched his fists as he realized his defeat.
"Sora, how many eggs did you find honey? Oh... and did you pooh all over yourself again? Didn't I teach you to go on the toilet?" her mother asked sweetly, fluttering her eyelashes. Rinkled his nose in anger, and put up eight fingers to show his amount of eggs. His mother glanced into his basket and only saw seven. Sorie-poo couldn't even get the number correct or go in the toilet! Bless his little heart! His hopeless mother thought as Sora began to twitch in anger.
Selphie stuck her tongue out at Sora and continued to gorge on delicious chocolate that was left. When his parent weren't looking, Sora pushed his sister roughly so she was on her side, crying like mad. Sora smiled triumphantly.
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Darn! The worst part of Easter day! Easter mass! Sora sat slouching on the uncomfortable wooden bench that the church provided. He was dressed in a whitebutton down shirt, with a hot, navy blazer on top. He wore long, navy pants that were slightly too long, making him trip whenever he walked.
He blew a strand of hair out of his face angrily as the priest began the long sermon. He looked to his right, and saw his parents. His mom was (as usual)overly dressed in a white Coach suit, whilehis father was in a black version of Sora's attire. And of course, there was Selphie, looking her regularly cute self... it made him sick. Jelousy swelled inside him as he remember that morning and Selphie's constant snickering.
Being bored to death, Sora decided to run the plan over his head for the twentieth time that mass for what he was going to do to impress Kairi. He smirked slightly at his sure victory. He could see himself now... confetti falling from the sky like rain as little third grade Kairi with a white sun dress comes skipping up to him and planting a kiss on his right cheek. You could clearly see a twitching Riku in the backround for effect.
Sora grinned goofily as his cheeks became beat-red. He looked around the church and spotted Kairi in a pretty yellow Easterdress with a white bow around her waist. She saw him and waved exitedly. Sora, trying to act cool, slouched lower and winked. He saw some ninth grader do It once, and lets just say it had a good effect. But to his bad luck, he slipped off the back of the bench and hit his head on the floor. All heads turned towards his direction, I mean ALL, even the priest.
The embarassment! The riducule! How will he ever survive this stickey mess of attention! Slowly, all the people began to pay attention to the priest once again. Wiping the invisible sweat off his forehead, (he saw the heroes do that in the movies all the time, it made them look... heroic) and checked to see if anyone else was looking.
There was Riku, laughing his little ten year old brains out. Sora silently glared at the silver haired boy. Darn you Riku, darn you. This goes back to his diabolical plan. He twiddled his fingers evily, and would have laughed like a maniac, but decided against it because he might get worse blackmail than when Riku caught him infront of his Kairi shrine... yes, very embarassing.
The devious, action-packed plan to defeat Riku and win Kairi: (or th D.A.P.P.T.D.R.A.W.K. for easier measures.)
1) Win the egg hunt after mass and give all my eggs to Kairi.
Sora thought it was well thought out, he even made an official copy with his signed name and everything so he could hang it up on his Kairi-shrine. It could be put in a museum in the future when he is worshipped by all and all hated Riku. He snickered inwardly as the priest announced the end off mass. That wasthe cue. The cue for all children to run to the back lawn despite their parent's protests. Yes, on Easter... kids ruled all.
The swarm of kids was so dense, he could hardly breath. He began to over exagerate and choke to the floor. He felt an arm wrap around his torso and pushed the 'object' he was 'choking' on out bypunding his hands against his diaphram. The person behind him noticed nothing was coming out and began to hit his stomach harder. He must have misunderstood Soragasps for suffication from the 'object' in his throat, than from the actual cause of pain the person was inflicting.
Knowing that the person wouldn't stop, Sora 'spit out the object' and the person's 'life saving technique' stopped. He turned around slowly, clutching his aching stomach, and saw Riku snickering. Riku! Anybody but Riku! No one was supposed to save me! I was supposed to miraclously save myself and jump back into action! And worse yet! There was Kairi, worshipping Riku's attemps to 'save' his life!
"Awww...It was nothing... just doing my daily duties by saving the weak." he said proudly. The weak! Darn you Riku! Darn you! You have won this time, but I shall prevail in the egg hunt! Sora stomped away and into the back lawnand sucked in some sweet air.Ahhh...the fresh smell of Easter!
All the children were in a single filed line by age, as the mothers were snapping away at their cameras, catching each 'precious' moment like it was sport.The brunettesucked in a breath proudly and walked towards the line, chest inflated, and flexing his miniature muscles, beginning to feel a new hope. But not until Riku tripped him to the dirty ground as all the other kids laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.
" Darn you Riku! Darn you! You will never surpass my devious plan, codename DAPPTDRAWK, by winning the Easter hunt, and giving all your eggs to Kairi! Never!" Sora exclaimed, not even realizing he actually said it outloud. Riku smirked and leaned in closer to dirt covered Sora.
" Wow, thats a pretty good plan you got there. I was just going to win and think of something to impress Kairi... but I like your plan much better." he said, strolling away proudly.
"NOOOOOO!" Sora exclaimed, throwing his finst in the air while he was sitting on his knees, (he saw it in another movie once, it was when the hero was in great despair)" Why meeeeee?" He immediately recovered as theannouncer guy announced that the kids five and under to start. That meant it was his turn in... Gasp...thirty seconds!
He began to run to the line with twenty seconds to spare. This was the perfect time for the guys to show off their stretching moves while the girls were watching and giggling. Riku came up next to Sora, and started to stretch. Gasp. Riku could touch his toes! Befuddled, Sora began despirately try and touch his toes for more than three seconds. Still mad, he accepted defeat for the fourth time that day, and snatched the plastic bag from one of the kids next to him so he could collect eggs. And so the count-down began.
5...4...3...2...1!
All the six to ten year olds sprinted towards the bushes that were on the other side of the field.The eggswere always in the bushes! Picking up speed, Sora could feel the wind rip at his lungs. He must have been going seven miles per hour! That was better than his 6.4 miles per hour that morning! But this was obviously because of his grueling training he started about two weeks ago. He knew it would pay off!
But again! To his bad luck, there was Riku, quickening his pace so he was neck and neck with Sora. They were only about twenty five meters away from the bushes now, and Riku flew by him! Gasp.He must be going 7.4 miled per hour! Gotta pick up the pace! Alas! He reached 7. 2 miles per hour, a succesfull victory against time. Riku was getting closer, he was catching up!
There were the bushes! Only a few feet away! Sora heart was pumping out of sheer exitment. (Or grueling pain and exhaustion) All at once, the kids dove into the puffy bushes like a war zone. Bombs were exploding in the air, and the cried of pain were all that were heard. This was getting serious.
The fight for survival, (or eggs) was hell on a stick as kids were getting broken arms and fractured feet. (boo-boos and cuts) Deep in the depths of the bushes, (scrapping the sheer ground) was Sora, fighting for his life as a hungry pack of hyenas (blackants) attacked his ten eggs he has already collected. In the distance, he could see glittering pink egg, just in arms reach. He stretched his arm out but to his loss, a certain cocky, silver haired boy grabbed it just before Sora fingers could graze its smooth shell. Gritting his teeth, he jumped at Riku, and bit his arm. Like I said, this was serious.
Crying in pain, Riku pushed Sora away and ran out of the bushes, leaving behind the pink egg. Smiling at his victory he snatched the egg and looked around. Thats when he realized the sounds of bombs and cries were gone, and everyone was outside the bushes. But how? Of course, as Sora was viciously attacking Riku's arm, the anouncer had called in all the children to count the eggs!
As fast as he could, the little brunette ran towards the main counter and handed in his bag of eggs with a victorious smile on his face. He gave his name and age as the announcer took the microphone in his hand and started to announce the winners. Sora hardly paid attention to the winners of the five and below, eagerly awaiting the crucial results.
"And the winner of the six to ten age group is..." all of the older children were now on their toes, listening to the results. Sora looked around for Kairi so when he won, he wouls grab his eggs and give them to her. "...wow! Its a tie between Sora Hikari and Riku Honda!" The croud cheered as both boys stared at eachother dumbfounded, slightly lifting an eyebrow in the process.
The two third graders finally came to their senses and ripped their eggs out of the announcer's hands and sprinted towards Kairi. Riku was in the lead, but not by much. Sora was about to hit eight miles per hour! While Riku stayed with his dorky 7.4 miled per hour. Yes! He was going to do it! Kairi was only a few feet away now!
But someone ran infront of him, and knocked both Sora and Riku to the ground. They both sat up, shaking their heads to stop the dizziness as they stared atthe bubbly brunette thatwas infront of them.
SELPHIE! Oh no!My little sister! Whatis she going to do? All Sora and Riku could do was watch what happened.
" Hi Kairi, do you want to share all my fifteen eggs with me?" she asked sweetly, rocking back and forth on he feet while doing Sora's famous puppy dog face. The auborn haired girl glowed with happiness as she nodded her head exitedly.
"You got fifteen eggs!" Sora and Riku exclaimed at the same time. Not only did my little sister steal Kairi, she stole my puppy god face!
"Yeppers! Didn't you hear the announcer guy? He said I won over all! So I'm going to share it with my new friend Kairi!" she exclaimed in her squeeky,exited voice. The two boys watchedthe two girlsskip away like o.O Well, if there was one thing Sora learned today, it was a key moral that he would use for his own advantage next year:
The youngest rule all.
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YAY! Well, there goes my first Oneshot. I don't think it was that funny, I am just extremely hyper right now! Tell me what you think!
REVIEW!I WILL REPLY!