XV:

"By the power vested in me by the State of New York, I pronounce you husband and wife," the judge said with a smile. "Mr. Barba, now you may kiss your bride," he added pointedly.

Rafael had the good grace to look a little embarrassed at having been called out, but he chuckled nonetheless, leaning in to whisper, "Te adoro todos los días en todos los sentidos."

"Liar," Liv accused with a deep throated chuckle. "You hate when I leave my toothbrush on the vanity."

He grunted and kissed her anyway; where was the fun in any of it if there weren't a few bumps along the way? "Because it's gross – and the toothbrush goes in your cup, mi amor."

"Fun as this is, they need to get ready for the next couple," Cragen commented wryly. It had been quietly agreed between them that Lucia, Cragen, and Ree would be their witnesses to the actual wedding, then the party would be a much larger affair. "How are you holding up, Olivia?"

"Oh, I could dance all night," she said sarcastically.

"Don't even think about it," Rafael scolded. "You're sitting down as soon as we get to the hotel."

"Excuse me?" Liv shot back, raising an eyebrow.

He sighed and his hand fell to the small of her back, steadying her without asking – as if he needed permission to touch her in public before then, ha! – his words low and tight as he said, "Olivia, I had to talk you down from wearing heels because your back was hurting so badly this morning."

She frowned and muttered, "You don't have to order me around."

"I'll be gentler next time," he said, "but…"

"She's fine," she assured him, moving his hand from her back to her belly so he could feel their child happily moving up a storm. "Happy, just like us."

"Momma," Ree interrupted, "are we gonna go have cake now?" She was smiling hopefully.

"Ree, baby, how about we go have some lunch first," Liv suggested, "and then we'll have cake?"

Ree sighed a little. "But daddy said –"

"I did say you'd get the first slice of cake," Rafael agreed. "You know why?" Ree shook her head. "Because you're the reason mommy and daddy are together again."

"I am?" she asked.

"Don't listen to daddy: he's ridiculous," Olivia huffed, shoving him gently but fondly in the shoulder. "We would have gotten back together again anyway. You were just a quick catalyst."

"What's a cat-a-list?" Ree asked with wide eyes.

"It's a thing that makes other things happen," Rafael explained gently, getting down on his daughter's level to smooth back her unruly hair and fix her loose ribbon. "Like if you're setting a fire, you have to strike a match to light the kindling to set the fire."

"Oh," Ree murmured thoughtfully.

"You, mi dulce querida niña, were the reason mami and I came together again," Rafael said softly. "We love each other very much, and you, and because of that, we're going to have your little sister soon, too."

"I know," Ree said.

"We need to go," Liv murmured, eyeing the court employees who were on the borderline of throwing them out. "Sorry –"

"No, don't be," Rafael said with a smile. "We were getting a little sappy there, anyway. Right, kid?"

"Yeah," Ree said solemnly. "Momma?"

"Yeah, kidlet?" Liv asked as they headed out into the corridor.

"Did you and daddy want me like you want my sister?"

It was like all the air had been sucked out of the hallway. Liv's hand immediately sought out her daughter's, clutching it with all of her strength as she awkwardly dropped to her knees on the floor, despite her back's protest and knowing she would struggle to get up again. "Baby," she whispered, stroking Serenity's face, "I wanted you from the moment I knew you were there. I did everything I could to keep you safe and happy inside me; I even made Grandpa Don turn on the air conditioner in January when I got too hot. Everyone was so mad because they were absolutely freezing, but my little girl was snug as a bug in a rug in my tummy. It's always been you and me, Serenity, even if daddy hadn't come back – but he did, and he wanted you just as much as I did, or we wouldn't be here together. You hear me?"

"And daddy?"

"As soon as I met you, I knew I wanted you to be a part of my life," Rafael said softly, joining them on the floor. "I didn't know you were mine yet, but you were your mami's and that was enough. You are the best parts of us, mija, and I love you so much for being you. For being here. You stubborn little thing." He was smiling and he gently tapped Ree's nose.

Ree's smile was still small and uncertain, and Liv hated that it still wavered. "Sweetheart?" she whispered. "I know it seems like we're focusing on the baby more, but it's because there's so much that could go wrong between now and when she comes. We need to be prepared for anything. It doesn't mean that we love or care about you any less. In fact, daddy and me getting married and signing all the paperwork making sure your custody and parental arrangements are solid means that if anything happens to me again…" She paused and swallowed hard. "If anything happens to me, daddy will always take care of you, Serenity. Do you understand?"

"But I don't want anything to happen to you, Momma," Ree said earnestly, throwing her arms around Liv's neck.

"I know, baby," Olivia murmured, hugging her back. "But it's always good to have a plan just in case." She looked over at Rafael and smiled tearfully. "Aren't you glad Daddy's here now and not just me?"

"Yeah," Ree admitted quietly. "But you're still my favorite."

Rafael laughed and said, "I mean, I can't compete."

"You don't have to: we're a family," Liv said firmly. "Now, help me up. Little miss in here is getting hungry – I'm surprised you can't hear my stomach growling from Mars."

"Baby keeps kicking me," Ree complained. "What are we going to name her?"

"We haven't decided yet," Rafael said softly. "Names are very tricky things – sometimes, you can have one picked out and it's all wrong."

"And sometimes, it's all right," Olivia interjected.

"Like mine?" Ree said as Rafael helped Liv to her feet again, her body protesting.

Olivia paused; originally, she had wanted to name her daughter something simple, but then the weight and gravity of knowing that she was probably her only child, the only legacy and family she would have to carry any of it forward, had weighed heavily into her decision making. The guilt had been a factor, but she had twisted it into something beautiful, and Fin and Munch had sensed that and called her "kidlet" – a smash-up of "kiddo" and "piglet" (after her greedy half-hour feeds), and Ree, because Fin was lazy and Serenity was "too damn long for any sane person to say day in and out".

Her pause was clearly too long because Rafael slid in. "You know your mami named you after your Nana Serena and me, right?"

Ree nodded. "Yes," she said. "But not really because I'm a girl and I can't have a boy name, dad."

He laughed and looked at Olivia for help. "Mi amor –"

Liv smiled and said, "Ree, let's go get some cake. Debating with daddy might be an Olympic level sport, but your sister is really getting hungry."

"As long as you don't name this one Piglet, I think we're okay," Cragen spoke up teasingly. Lucia just offered a knowing smirk.

Liv had her feet propped up on a chair, a smile on her lips as she watched Rafael dance with Ree. She was on her second small slice of cake, having spaced it out with better food choices, and had balanced the plate on her growing belly like a table because – let's face it – what was the point of not doing that if you could get away with it at your own wedding reception?

Dodds came over and settled into the empty seat beside her. "Congratulations. Great party, good food… your kid is adorable with him."

"He's a wonderful father," Liv commented dryly. "And was already a good husband. We didn't need the paper except to make it official by law, Bill."

He heaved a sigh and said, "I don't suppose your Captain told you that you passed the Sergeant's exam."

"No," she said. "I'm sure he was saving it until after the wedding. After the incident at the courthouse the other day, and this, he didn't want to add to my stress."

"How is Calhoun?"

"Acerbic as ever," she replied. "Pissed that she's missing the party, but they aren't discharging her from the hospital till tomorrow. Lucia and Catalina are going to take her some cake, though."

"Shitty business."

"Yes," Liv agreed quietly. "But, I mean…"

"Cragen won't tell you, but you placed 48th out of 8000."

Her lips twitched upward into a wry smile. "Mmm," Liv said noncommittally, taking another bite of cake. "And now you want me to do at least that for the other exam?"

"No, I want you to at least pass the fucker," he muttered. "So when you come back from maternity leave, I know that the unit is in good hands – hands I can trust."

She paused, her fork hovering near her lips. "You're giving me SVU?"

"1PP approved, conditional on your passing the Lieutenant's exam."

She exhaled slowly and murmured, "Good thing I was cramming for both at the same time, then."

"Were you, though?" He raised a critical brow. "Family life, work, studying, wedding preparations, a new baby – it all seems like a lot."

"Oh ye of little faith," she muttered. "Didn't I get a fuck awesome score on the sergeant's exam? Take a deep breath: I've got this." The baby kicked insistently, and she took the bite of cake she'd been putting off, then rubbed her belly gently. "Yes, yes, sugar, I know. I know. Momma knows, sweetheart."

Dodds smiled at her then, really smiled, and it was a little disconcerting. "Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? Or are you waiting?"

"It's a girl," Liv replied. "I wanted to know; Rafael didn't care one way or the other." She vividly remembered the single-minded reverence and awe with which Rafael had watched the monitor and had nearly wept when the tech announced that it was a little girl. He had asked a million questions; they were all the same ones she had asked before when she had been pregnant with Ree, so she appreciated his concern and his desire to provide her with comfort and to ease her burdens. And he was with her at every scan, eyes shining with delight as they saw their child together.

"Every man wants a son, don't let him lie to you," Dodds said with a low laugh.

"No," she interjected, "don't. This conversation is over." She struggled to lower her feet to the ground and when he moved to help her, she shrugged away from his touch. "Do not touch me," Liv hissed. "I want you to leave, please."

Dodds held up his hands in surrender even as Rafael came off the dance floor at the disturbance. "Olivia?"

"I need to go to the ladies' room," Liv muttered, still struggling to get upright. "Chief Dodds was just leaving."

"I left a present on –"

"Take it with you," Liv snapped.

"Liv?" Rafael said, helping her to her feet.

"He does not get to disrespect you at our wedding," was all she could say politely without devolving into the pettiness she was feeling.

Dodds was frowning. "I'll just –"

"Yeah, it might be better if –" Rafael said.

"For the record, Olivia, I didn't mean it like you clearly think I did," Dodds said.

"Just go," she spat, heading toward the restroom.

Rollins was in the ladies', and she looked up when Liv came in. "Hey – you okay?"

"No, I need to pee and Dodds is a motherfucker," Liv snapped, going into a stall and slamming the door shut with fury. She went to the bathroom and was surprised when Amanda was waiting for her when she came out of the stall. She washed her hands, then braced herself against the counter. "He ambushed me when I was eating cake."

"What a dick," Rollins said. "Do I need to kick him in the nuts for you? Shoot him?"

Liv sighed. "No, he was leaving under his own power."

"Okay…"

"I'm tired of everyone acting like Barba and I are a convenient thing," Liv muttered. "Like this is going to poof away at midnight like Cinderella's coach and four."

"Well, you have to admit, after years of living like a hermit since you and Dickhead broke up, you just jumped all in with Barba – it was pretty sudden," Rollins said with a small smile. "And, I mean… not to be rude or anything, but even I was wondering for a little bit if it was just because you wanted a daddy for Ree."

Liv inhaled deeply, then exhaled in a rush of air. "You never met Casey Novak, did you?" she asked.

"Name's not familiar," Rollins said.

"She was our ADA for a while," Liv said. "Set me up one night with a nurse friend of hers from Mount Sinai, but he never showed and I was sat at this really swanky bar in the Flatiron waiting for him, getting more wine drunk by the second. This guy sat next to me, and I started talking, and he just looked at me like I was insane to include him in my conversation – but we ended up leaving the bar together, a little worse for wear, but still sober enough to know that we wanted to have sex together." She paused, licked her lips, bit her lower lip and whispered, "Rafael made me feel better about myself in that one night than anyone had before or since."

"That doesn't mean that you shackle yourself to him, Liv."

"No, it doesn't," Liv agreed. "We are so… so much more complex than that," she tried lamely to explain. "But I know it seems quick to everyone, and it's really not. It's easy and comfortable and I'm sorry to give you all palpitations and worry you –"

"We were just concerned because he just came out of nowhere."

"He really did," Liv conceded. "But I'm so glad he did."

"You wouldn't think that Barba would be a good dad just to look at him," Amanda commented, "but he's… he's so good with Ree. And he obviously loves you. I just worry that it's all a little much, too soon."

Olivia paused, hesitated, then murmured, "You weren't here when Trevor left, you've just been here when he keeps blowing chaos into my life."

"Yeah, and I'll shoot him if you want me too," Amanda said. "I'll even make it look accidental. He's a prick."

Liv fought a smile. "It's my fault. That he left. I… We… were back to having sex regularly after I was cleared by the doctor and, um… I had two miscarriages. One right before the kidnapping case; in fact, I got called from my PTO day to handle the first day of the search. He was pissed, and rightfully so. And after 96 hours of me pushing myself past the limits of what my body was capable of handling, he dropped Ree at the station, left a note with Munch, and told me to keep the ring and sell it to put in kidlet's college fund. Because he's not entirely a heartless monster." She paused, held her breath for a moment. "I'm not giving Rafi up, Manda. I love him with all my heart; I always did. Trevor knew that and he was still going to try to give us a good life because he loved us. I fucked up so much. I always fuck shit up."

"Hey," Rollins whispered, throwing her arms around her and holding her, "no you don't – you don't, Liv. You got married today to the man you love, right?"

"Yeah."

"And you've got a beautiful, smart little girl who thinks you and her daddy are the best thing since sliced bread."

"I guess so."

"And another little one on the way. Now – what's something else?"

"I passed the sergeant's exam," Liv forced out.

"Seriously?" Amanda asked, her lips splitting into a wide grin. "Liv, that's amazing news!"

"I don't know how amazing it is," Liv sighed, sniffling. "I'm sitting behind a desk doing grunt work all day. All I do is read and file paperwork and do computer searches. Of course I was going to pass."

"Did they tell you where you placed?" Amanda inquired.

"48 of 8000," Liv said quietly.

"Well, shit, girl, that deserves a celebration in and of itself!"

"No, I don't want to make a big deal about it," Liv said. "Not when I still have the Lieutenant's exam next month."

Rollins looked at her curiously. "Why the sudden rush to –"

"Don't," Liv warned.

"It's a lot of pressure. Are you sure you're up to –"

"I'm fine," Liv lied, her voice softening as her hands moved to her belly, rubbing soothing circles where the baby kicked. "It's the least of my worries right now. Ree thinks we don't love her because we're so worried about getting all the legal shit taken care of, and because I'm having to go to the doctor every week with the diabetes nonsense."

Amanda pursed her lips together and frowned. "She needs some Auntie Manda time," she said. "Next weekend, we're going to disappear for a while and let you and Barba have some quiet time."

"I'm not sure that will help," Liv sighed, "but okay."

"Fin and I can take her to Coney Island or something. She loves him."

"He's not going to like you voluntolding him," Liv warned.

"When it's for your kid? He doesn't mind," Amanda said. "You feeling any better? Dodds is a dick. I can shoot him, too – maybe in the foot. That way he has to think about what he's done."

"You can't just shoot people."

"I mean, it made you smile."

"The thought of you walking up to him and shooting him did, yes," Liv admitted. "I just hate that he obviously has it in his head that Rafael and I being together is inconvenient to his plans, whatever they may be."

"Fuck his plans," Amanda said decisively. "Now, let's get you back out there."

The party was beginning to break up when Cragen got a call and called the squad together – except for Olivia, who caught the exchange from the corner of her eye and broke away from Rafael and headed over when she realized what was happening. "What's going on?" she asked.

"We caught a case," Cragen said. "You're off duty, Mrs. Barba."

"Do you need me to –"

"Olivia, go home with your family," Fin said gently. "We've got this handled. If we need you, we'll call you. But we won't need you."

Cragen caught Rafael's eye and gestured at Olivia. "Barba," he called out, "you'd better take your girls home." He smiled and pressed a kiss to Liv's forehead. "Blessings on your house, Olivia," he said in the gentlest manner possible. "Now, go home and rest. Don't come in tomorrow unless I call you."

"Yes, sir," she said. "Thank you – everyone –"

"You're family," Rollins said softly. "We wouldn't be anywhere else, Liv. And if Barba does anything…"

"You'll shoot him," Liv filled in.

"Oh no," Amanda said. "They'll never find the body."