DCE 13 - IF THOU KNOWST IT, TELLING…
Author's note: This is primarily a case centric chapter - so no canoodling. There is some frank talk about what it can be like to be fat. To be clear - I am fully aware this is not the full range of experiences being represented - but I can attest that the majority of points included are based on my own first hand experience as a very fat person or the research I have done over the years. Mentions / Examples of Fat Hate.
…..
Saturday - December 23 - In San Antonio on a Case
Plan: PRACTICE BEING FRIENDS AT WORK / COUPLE AT NIGHT
Days to Friendship: 9
Relationship Status: Working it!
…..
Penelope and Luke did indeed have that shower - actually three - one together before bed and one each in the morning before meeting with the team… and, yes, they did enjoy "being a couple" several times between last night and this morning and, more importantly, in the wee hours of the night they spoke about the case - Penelope working through her horror and anger and Luke comforting her and asking smart questions to help him understand some nuances of the case that Penelope is uniquely positioned to intuit compared to the rest of the team - she even at one point pulled out her laptop to check on some of the searches she had set whirring before bed. But, since the details of all those happenings, my friends, would take several chapters to recount and so (at least for now)... I will simply assure you that they were responsible enough to ensure they got enough sleep amidst their various nocturnal adventures… and we will leap to them leaving their hotel rooms in the morning - each from their own door - staggering their exits not so much to hide their relationship - but because Luke had promised to meet Matt for a run and Penelope took the time to dress properly and prep herself for what promised to be a taxing day.
Luke is only slightly disappointed to see that Penny has left while he was out with Matt, since secretly he knows it will likely make it easier for them to adhere to the professional boundaries they had agreed to maintain between themselves. He has already kissed his Penny goodbye this morning - so now it is time to get dressed, join the team, and then - as soon as he can - go find if Pen-GARCIA needs any help preparing for the host of family and friends who would be interviewed today.
Luke arrives third to their corner of the Ballroom-Turned-Crimefighting-Hub that the BAU had staked out yesterday for their homebase. Tara, Emily, and Rossi are sitting there going over their notes and reminding themselves of key details of the case - each gives him a nod and a quick "morning" then returns to their reading. Luke swings a chair around so the he can straddle it comfortably - sitting in one yesterday proved that these chairs, being as they are designed for wedding guests not cops, are too well padded to be conducive to critical thinking (at least for him) - and lights up his tablet so he can join the impromptu silent study society.
While Luke looks through the files of the victims he's been assigned to focus on, a good portion of his brain is mulling over how to bring up the insights he and Penelope fell upon last night without overtly indicating that they spent last night together. Not that it matters, he knows that the team knows… and THEY know that HE knows that THEY know… and HE knows that THEY know that HE knows that THEY know and... PROFILERS CAN MAKE YOU CRAZY …he should know… he is one.
O.K. First Things First… he'd better find out if there were any developments overnight or theories hatched at the bar that he needs to be apprised of - he goes to toss his tablet down on the table but "GENTLY! GENTLY!" says his brain in a voice that sounds suspiciously like Garcia - so he catches himself and instead carefully places the tech on the table. He puts on his best "case voice" and asks:
"So Boss - did I miss anything by hitting the hay early last night? New clues? Hypotheses? Has Spencer left for the morgue yet?"
Rossi answers for Prentiss, "Our resident genius headed off hours ago, and as for last night, just some surprisingly good top shelf scotch."
Tara smiles and adds gleefully, "And Rossi was buying!"
Rossi looks wistful - remembering, "Aye, t'was a bonny dram. Bunnahabhain Eich Bhanna Lir. Believe it or not… a 46-year-old single cask beauty. Thick and creamy mouthfeel - fruity - and not too strong oaking - odd for such an aged scotch. Truly worth sharing. The things you come across at random hotel bars… astounding."
Prentiss gives her team a nonplussed look - then reaches across the table to hand newly arrived Matt and J.J. their tablets - and gets them up to speed with her most no-nonsense tone. "There's nothing new on the case since last night. Spencer left about 20 minutes ago. A local detective went with him. How about you two? Any epiphanies?"
J.J. mutters a quick "Nada." then quirks an eyebrow questioningly at Matt, clearly hoping he's got something to share, but the tall agent shakes his head and then reinforces the motion with a handful of words. "Nothing more than yesterday. Just "hellos" from Kristy and the kids and hopes that by the end of today we'll have a few fresh leads and a potential start on the profile. We are seriously behind the count on this one. Twelve bodies before we even hit the tarmac is way too many."
Luke knows it's now or never, but he's just opened his mouth when Penelope bursts into the room with her tablet held like a clipboard and her "let's get this thing started" face.
Good, he thinks, she can tell them.
"Good Morning Crime Fighters! It is 7:57 am Central Standard Time - we are due to join the People in Blue at 8:15 am once they've done their roll call. You'll have 15 mins to do your briefing and then you can break off and meet one on one with your assigned partners - while I and some very fabulous officers will be greeting folks who have agreed to be interviewed. At 8:55 you will all be invited to Ballroom C which will be the designated waiting area where we will introduce everyone and explain how the day will work. The grief counselors will be holding one-on-ones and various group sessions throughout the day, while me and the tech folk will be collating the information you send us. Uniforms will also be speaking with folks to get background details and general info - so you all don't need to worry about that. The only thing I ask is that if you believe someone can go home - you let the runner know so that we don't keep people longer than we need to since it is going to be a hella long day for everyone. Capiche?"
Prentiss smiles for the first time this morning. "Yes, ma'am. Thank you. Have I ever told you I love you, Penelope Garcia?"
"I believe you have and I'll say it again: Get in Line." Everyone laughs - even Luke - and Penelope turns beet-red and glares at them all - but mainly Luke - hissing. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!"
This just makes them laugh harder - but aware that they are in a corner of a very full room, she ruffles herself back into her uber professional persona and adds curtly. "Anything else I need to know from y'all?"
"No-"
But Luke sees his chance and, like the man of action he is, interrupts his Boss without hesitation.
"Yes. We were just all sharing that NONE of us had any new insights. Did you have any thoughts or stumble across anything new last night, Garcia?"
Penelope looks at him with an owly blink. They had sort of left it open which one of them would pass on their thoughts to the team - but she had pretty much assumed that he would be the one to bring forward the ideas as the profile was being hashed out.
"Um."
The profiler's heads all come up - like hounds scenting a quarry. Penelope's expression has gone still and distant - the way it had when she got transfixed on the photos during the briefing on the jet. Luke jumps up and pulls out a chair for her and she plunks down in it without acknowledging him - as if on auto-pilot. When she starts to speak her voice is high and clear - but rounded with a huskiness that belies wells of emotion.
"San Antonio, like many places in North America, is in the middle of a "Fight against Obesity". Like most places there has been significant focus on the health crisis in recent years and much of the language - like that of "the war on drugs" - is confrontational and alludes to battle: Parents are to be armed with facts about healthy eating and organizations will lay siege to food deserts. That's not to say that San Antonio isn't doing great work - I'd say the city has put in place some pretty incredible programs and the focus is on tackling issues around food availability and access to fitness programs and equipment at the community level but there is, of course, a lot of conversations about "making it easy to make the healthy choice". Which is great and true - but I could see how easily someone could jump from "well look at all the amazing things making it easier for you to not be fat - so if you are fat ipso facto you must be making the wrong choices". See, the problem with the whole "war on" approach is that there always has to be an enemy and it also doesn't particularly acknowledge that we will probably never get rid of fat people completely - nor does it acknowledge that fatness is not always something that needs to be vanquished by any means necessary. Sure we have more people who are fat than we would if people weren't too poor to buy food and had reliable access to education, healthy produce, and were supported with being active… but… it's a long term thing… and even once we tackle those things - there are so many complex reasons why people are fat. Hell, did you know that your fat is an organ - like your heart or your liver? People don't think about it like that. It's just something to be minimized, gotten rid of…hated. But it's not. It's not. Fat is not just something in you that sits there allegedly being ugly and waiting for a famine hit so you can come out on top. It's an organ. AN ORGAN! and it plays super key roles in your bodies - a woman without enough body fat may lose her period or struggle to get pregnant - it helps control and trigger appetite - it cushions our organs - it helps regulate our body temperatures… Gosh Darn it… scientists don't even know all the ways it impacts our brains and bodies - but they are sure that it is important and plays a huge role in our bodies."
Penelope looks around and sees she has everyone's attention. They are listening attentively, their brains clicking over her words. She shakes herself. She knows from her conversations last night with Luke that this is a topic that when she gets going on it - she can really get going - it's all so much - all so muddled - a mix of book knowledge and personal experience and feelings - so many feelings. And on the scale of fat or not - she knows she's huge relative to the team - but to the majority of fat people? She is on the smaller side and she has a variety of advantages - like her fat is relatively well distributed around her body - and she's tall-ish…which helps too. Gah. She needs to focus on what they really need to know - what she as a fat person can tell these fit perfect gorgeous people - what will help them.
"Look. This is a giant subject but IF - and that's just one theory - but IF the unsub is targeting these people because they are fat - because.." and here she quotes the lines of the unsub's letter that she and Luke went over and over last night… "We are at war… then my guess is the person has bought the rhetoric that surrounds us about fatness and so it was a fairly easy jump for them to see these people as the enemy because they have allowed themselves to be fat. I know the amount of casual disapproval and flat out hate most fat people have to put up with is not a secret - I mean just think fat is one of the worst insults in most people's arsenal and adding it to any bad name you can call someone makes it automatically worse. How many times have you - oh super fit team of teams - called yourselves fat pejoratively in your head?" Penelope takes a breath and realises how uncomfortable her team appears. It's pretty unusual for her to call them out about anything… and while she's not exactly doing that - she knows how triggering this subject can be for oh so many… "Look, I am not attacking you guys. And I am super well aware that you guys are not just any jerk off the street and you all intellectually understand that losing five or ten pounds is extremely different than someone regularly being told that they need to lose well half of their current body weight to be even at the high-end of what is commonly considered healthy for their height - but you… none of you are that type of fat and you need to keep remembering throughout this case that fatness makes people simultaneously more visible - an easy to see target - and erases them as worthy in our society. Study after study has told us that not being fat once you are is a lot more complicated than Eat less - Move more. And while you all know that I hate doing that jumping into messy minds thing you all do, I am pretty sure that if this evil killer is targeting fat people, this unsub is one of three things: either ONE someone who is, or at least thinks of themselves as, pejoratively fat and has turned self-loathing outward - or TWO someone who can't understand that these fat people aren't evil or immoral because they themselves have either never had to worry about losing weight or (THREE) they did and were one of the few statistically who were successful - but…AND THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART…but the supposed rewards they expected for making the journey from fat to thin were not all they were cracked up to be. There is a reason eating disorders affect people of all genders - of all shapes and sizes. Why diet and fitness cultures are so pervasive. Why a fat kid is almost guaranteed to be bullied by their peers"
Matt is looking at Penelope with fresh eyes - he looks like he wants to say a lot more - like he's thinking about the world his kids are growing up in - but all he gently asks is. "So what do you think this means for today's interviews?"
"It might - no it will be - messy and uncomfortable - but you ask about how the victims saw their bodies - were they resigned or even happy at the size they were - or were they unhappy? Were they actively trying to modify their body or weren't they…because I'll tell you one thing - from what I have found so far from their digital footprints these folks were just living their lives - i.e. no one seems to be drastically on the weightloss wagon around the time they were killed - and with this many fat people in the pool - that strikes me as unusual. There's so much pressure to hate yourself and change…" Penelope swallows hard but keeps going "...it's odd that none of this group seems to be trying some sort of gimmick diet or fad exercise program or is on a medically monitored program - I'll keep digging but, so far, there's been nothing."
Penelope is finally done. There were a few more things she and Luke touched on last night but for now that's enough. She looks around the table at the serious expressions of her coworkers and makes a sign that they don't need to say anything - she ducks her head and stands up.
"I'll go see if they are ready for you on the other side of the room. You should have a few more minutes. I'll signal you when you should all mosey over."
"Pen?" J.J.'s voice is tight. Penelope looks at her hard. Trying with all her might to shut her friend up - it's not like they haven't talked about bodies before - women do - and fat friends have heard it all - and Penelope has not been shy explaining some of her darker experiences - but being the fat one on this case - and she is hardly even someone who is seen as "bad fat" is something else. J.J. gets the message and steps on whatever she was going to say and instead just throws out a "Thanks. Pretiss is right - you are the best."
Penelope nods and turns. They all watch as she crosses the room with purpose - her loud perfectly tailored outfit and too tall shoes and perfect hair somehow seen afresh.
Prentiss turns to Alvez. "You two talked about the case last night didn't you?"
"Yeah."
"Anything else we should keep in mind?"
"I think that was the crux. I thought it was better if you all heard it from her - but damn if I wish I could have made it easier."
J.J. rips her eyes off her friend - as women they all have played that game of "I look so yuck - no you look gorgeous, darling." but she wonders now if it cost her friend more than she knew - if it costs all of them - no matter their size or feelings about their bodies - more than they knew.
"You do. I don't know if she could have said that with such poise when we first started working together…or even a few months ago."
It is then that Rossi - sensing they are in dangerous waters - that things that can't be admitted are being almost voiced - intervenes.
"So we are all on the same page? We ask about the victim's health and their feelings about it? Tara - any advice there?"
"I'd say make it broad to start. Ask if they had any hobbies… played sports…danced… then maybe were on any meds… had any conditions… did they feel comfortable in their body…that type of thing…the remember one thing we do know is that only one family resisted the exhumation - that these people were not surprised when told that the deaths may not have been natural. Go from there. Build on it."
Prentiss "And links - we need to make connections between these victims - so the better we know what their routines were, where they had been in the last week or so of their lives - the better we'll be able to find something other than these people's weights that links them together."
Just then - Luke who hasn't taken his eyes off Penelope - sees her wave. He stands and a beat later, so does everyone else - it's show time.
The next hours go by in a series of snapshots as the same scene replays over and over - each a little different - but each interview heart-breakingly similar:
"We're so sorry for your loss."
"Did she have any medical issues?"
"Did he have any hobbies? …yes I know it feels like an arbitrary question - but you have to trust me - we've been doing this for a long time and it does matter."
"Was she happy?"
"Would you say he was someone who felt comfortable in their own skin?"
"When was the last time you saw them?"
"Had anything changed recently? Any new activities? Friends? Routines?"
Again and again the answers were the same variation on a theme:
"We're just glad someone is looking into it, Bobbi-Jean was a lawyer you know - contract law mostly - she'd appreciate that you're seeking justice."
"That bastard needs to be caught - Clay wasn't perfect but he didn't deserve this! I'm just lost without him."
"I am just thankful someone cares about the truth - this one guy told me that Alea deserved death for getting pregnant when she was clearly not healthy - it was a good thing my buddy was there to hold me back. Not healthy? Not healthy? So she was heavy. She was a nurse damn it - one of the few I knew who didn't smoke or mainline coffee. There was nothing was wrong with her. Our doctor even said he'd rarely seen an easier pregnancy."
"Not really. I mean the doctors were always worried about Luisa's weight - but they were always shocked she had such good blood pressure - especially for a 77 year old."
"...tested every year for diabetes - but so far nothing. I guess he's safe from that one now."
"...we've paid for so many thyroid tests I've lost count. But they always come back normal. He used to laugh…"
"...I've never seen anyone with such a "comfortable in her skin" pregnant woman. For all three she barely showed and boy did the doctors worry…but everything was fine in the end. Healthy mama - healthy babies."
"...the doctors had to replace a heart valve last year and we were worried that his weight might be a problem..but the surgeon told us that at his age they were happier with patients with a little extra rather than not enough."
"The doctors were always after her about her weight. So she always got super stressed about seeing them. She used to laugh that she could go in for a broken arm or a cold and the prescription would be "lose weight". For a long time she wouldn't talk about her body - but recently she's been into the whole body acceptance thing… so we were talking about it - y'know - like you do… and I remember she said two things that hit me. She talked about how when she was younger she was terrified that if she did anything too fierce about dieting or exercise she would fall into an obsession - she felt like a potential eating disorder was always hanging over her… so it was either caring about everything or nothing. No middle ground….and by the time she got to a time in her life where balance might be possible… it was too late - she had so much on-the-go and a life she loved - she couldn't make getting skinny her life's work - so she just focused on eating well and moving - staying healthy and happy at the weight she was at. I really admired her for that y'know? The second thing she said was that she felt worse - more guilty - over the fact she liked…loved… her body… when she knew she wasn't supposed to…than anything . Like if only if only she had been able to summon up enough self-hatred, maybe she wouldn't have gotten fat… there is something really screwed up about that, isn't there?"
"He didn't talk about it much. I know he got teased for being fat and that was hard. Brutal. Kids can be awful you know. But he was so shy just in general… I think in some ways being…soft…protected that you know? Made him feel safer in some ways. Less seen."
"Fishing."
"Cooking? Carla could bake like a dream. Oh and quilting and she loved to go out dancing - ever since we met - every Saturday night I'd take her dancing. That woman could move. People used to tease me that I had married a fat woman - but no one who saw her dance ever said a thing"
"You name it. Martin was always busy. Volleyball twice a week. Logic and math puzzles. Coin collecting. Water skiing. Urban hiking. He volunteered at the local food bank and was a leader for our local scout group."
"Cathy was big into the theatre club at school. She never got the lead but she was writing a romantic comedy about video games where she was going to play the lead and a friend of hers was also going to star. She was so proud that the script was going to have no lines about how she looked."
"She loved boxing. Volunteered with the woman's program down at the rec center where on staff. I'm in sports medicine and a certified nutritionist."
"Reading, mostly? He was a bit of a happy loner."
"Yes. Very happy. He was part of the school band. He was applying to colleges."
"He was confident, you know? Happy with who he was."
"Enrique and Zahida had just gotten together - they were both teachers you know - came home for dinner - met first our family and then his. They were so happy. We really hoped this relationship would work out."
"We went for a hike. Samantha was writing a paper on local rock formations and wanted to do some field research. She was always the first person to say she was the last person who looked like a hiker and the world's slowest. But she loved the woods and even if you might now go as far or as fast - you always saw so much with her."
It is early afternoon and the Agents and their assigned partners from the local force have all completed the majority of interviews on their dockets, Penelope and her team of techs have been collating like mad, the translators have been providing excellent service, and the grief counselors have gone above and beyond.
Most teams have generally seemed to click, but J.J. and the local officer that she's been paired with have been not seeing eye-to-eye. He's young, fit, and while he hasn't said it overtly - clearly believes that the investigation is a lot of effort over nothing terribly important and sure to be confirmed as nothing more than a prank once the autopsy reports were finalized.
During one of their breaks he had made a big deal about telling her about this one case "a friend of a friend" had worked where it had appeared to be murder by poison but turned out to just be an accident. "Not that that was going to happen here of course."
J.J. is doing her best to keep her temper - which considering two victims she had been assigned were the two youngest - and the people they have been interviewing are clearly shattered by the deaths - is getting harder and harder. So unlike some of the other Agents from her team who were taking their break with their assigned "partner of the day" - J.J. has excused herself and is standing to the side of the general waiting area. She is half keeping her eye out for anything notable to bring back to the team - half just trying to clear her head before the next interview which was sure to be heartbreaking as the last few. As she stands off to the side, taking long pulls from a bottle of water, she muses about how this group of survivors differs in some key ways from others they have met over her years with the BAU. There is the usual sadness, shock, anger - but somehow there is something else missing. She tries to reach for what it is - but nothing is coming to her. As she stands there, one of the groups, parents of victims it looks like, returns from a session with one of the counselors who had been brought in.
Maybe that's part of what it is that J.J. can't put her finger on. She knows if asked and everyone had been truthful, most of her team and the cops would have admitted that they believed that the presence of the grief counselors was more "pro forma" than anything else… but the sessions - both the one-on-ones and the group sessions - had, by all accounts, been accessed by the majority of the family and friends. These folks are joiners. J.J. checks the schedule Penelope had given to all of them that morning. One of the last group sessions of the day was going to start soon - specifically for partners of victims - and one of runners who had been ensuring that the right people were in the right places at the right time was just gathering participants from the central waiting area.
The group consisted of Cathy Barlow's once secret highschool soccer-playing boyfriend - J.J. had interviewed him that morning and found him a nice young man who was slightly bowled over by the kindness Cathy's parents were showing him. Then there was the other "partner" she had interviewed - Carlos Ricci's girlfriend - who had been in the marching band with him - they had been dating since freshman year and she was pretty fierce about the whole thing.
J.J. had to check against the list that Penelope had put together to confirm who the rest were - but she did so. Mentally checking off identities from the list as she linked them up people in front of her.
There was Carla Fortsmith's second husband a bluff handsome man in his late 50s and Bobbi Jean Ramirez' leggy blond fiance - a 30 something nutritionist who kind of looked like a barbie doll come to life with her southern girl next door vibes - both of whom would have been interviewed by Prentiss.
Then that had to be Kim Cho next in line; a petite young asian manga designer who Rossi had described over lunch as being "set adrift" by the death of her older speedrunner boyfriend - apparently they had been something of a geek super-couple.
Matt had interviewed two partners that morning and there they were getting into line: the first had been Luisa Santos' husband who had been 5 years her junior. "Her trophy husband" who had been away on a hiking trip for seniors at the time of her death. The second had been Martin Sanchez' husband. J.J. smiled a little when she saw that Martin's husband was reassuring Chloe, the couple's adopted daughter that he would be "right back" and "to stay with grandma while he went to talk to these nice people about Daddy".
Another man who was being gathered into the group by the runner could only be Alea Abbas' husband. J.J. was secretly glad Tara had been the one assigned to him. J.J. would have done it - but it would have been particularly heartbreaking as Abbas was not just grieving the loss of his wife, but also their unborn child.
Of all the Agents, only Luke hadn't interviewed at least one of the members joining this group. His victims had been each other's partners.
The group is heading across the room - following the runner towards the double doors of the hotel banquet halls - when the cop J.J. has been avoiding siddles up to her.
"Surprisingly good looking group, huh?"
She turns toward him,.eyebrow arched, tone arch. "Surprisingly?"
He either doesn't notice the undercurrent of hostility and disbelief in her voice or flat out ignores it. His boyishly handsome face - that does absolutely nothing for J.J. after spending time with him - breaks into a grin. "Yeah surprisingly. I mean you've seen the vics' photos - who would guess that in a group of tubs like that - so many would end up with such fine partners? I mean I get wanting a little 'cushin for recreational pushn' but as a life partner? I, for one, would want someone a little more responsible in their day to day choices. Someone who knows how to take care of themselves. But, to each their own I guess?"
J.J. has finally had enough and is about to bring down this disgusting officer a peg or two - when what he has said - disgusting as it is - triggers something in her profiler's brain. She checks her watch - hopefully she has time to catch up with Emily. Five minutes left before their next interview - it is tight but doable - especially if Prentiss and Alvez are still where she last saw them.
"Look, Chad. I need to go talk to my Chief for a minute. I'll meet you back at the interview room in three minutes."
The cop nods but calls after her rapidly departing form with a puzzled look. "OK! But my name is Allen. Remember?"
Then, muttering "Dizzy F.B.I. Bitch" under his breath...he turns away to find another cup of coffee - something to help keep him awake while he listens to her question their next supposed witness.
…..
J.J. is in luck. Emily and Luke are still standing chatting with their assigned cops. Everyone looks to be getting along - so J.J. flashes the locals an apologetic grin as she draws her boss away from the group. Luke, looking concerned, joins them. J.J. gives him a thankful look - trying to make it clear that he's welcome.
"Look - I am glad I caught both of you. I have to run to my next interview but that neanderthal they gave me as a partner has finally said something which might mean something to the profile. He pointed out that the romantic partners of the victims are generally quite attractive. Not the sort of people many would expect to be interested in a fat person. I don't know exactly what to make of that. It might be nothing - especially since two of our victims were dating… but maybe Garcia…?"
Prentiss is vaguely nodding but looks troubled. Luke's expression is verging on homicidal - but he is the one to speak up - his tone light.
"I have an hour until my next interview. I can go run this by Garcia?"
Prentiss gives a final decisive nod. "Perfect. I have got my next interview now, so I can't. In fact, I had better head off - I was assigned the furthest room - I'm definitely getting my cardio in today - dessert for me tonight! God, I just did it, didn't I? Look. We'll tee up afterwards alright? But J.J. do I need to speak to someone about getting you a different partner?"
"No, I am fine. I can handle it. Thanks, Em."
Prentiss gives them one of her "boss smiles" and heads off.
J.J. needs to go too but before she does, she grabs Luke's arm to keep him from heading right off. She pitches her voice low - not wanting to be overheard by any of the San Antonio force.
"I'm not lying. I'm fine. But Luke? If I was Penelope's boyfriend? I wouldn't let Sergent Allen Joice anywhere near her. And frankly - if those two do meet? I'm not sure if I would be more worried about the health and safety of Penelope or my charming officer friend."
