Evil, or Something Like It
By: Clever Audrey
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I don't own it.
Warnings: Akatsuki. Crack. Odd humor.
AN: This is based on a conversation that my friend Scruffy Erik came up with, so inspiration credit all goes to him. ;P
Drabble 4 - Cold Fusion
Summary: Kisame had no idea why Sir Leader went along with Deidara's schemes...
Itachi appeared in the door of the cave, face as blank as ever, and said, "Kisame," very quietly. Quietly enough that the hint of plaintiveness in his tone was nearly impossible to detect.
Kisame looked up at his partner, studied him for a moment, and then sighed.
"Itachi-san, please tell me you didn't create cold fusion in the microwave again."
The deadpan remained firmly in place, but it took on a frustrated edge. "I wanted popcorn…."
Kisame sighed and levered himself up out of his chair. "I thought we'd agreed that I would make popcorn from now on."
Itachi did not reply. Kisame sighed again and slipped past his partner into the kitchen. /I'd better figure out whether or not we'll need a new microwave. Again. Having a genius for a partner is all well and good, but in some ways it makes life more difficult. How the hell did you get from popcorn to cold fusion, anyway/
Bending down, he peered into the microwave. /Yep, definitely need a new one. Maybe I should just put the electronics store on speed dial./
He straightened. "Itachi-san, how about I take care of all microwaveable stuff from now on?"
Itachi's deadpan shifted into something that might have been, 'I don't like to bother you.'
"It's less of a bother than getting a new microwave every other week. Okay? Or at least until you can come up with something useful to do with the cold fusion."
Itachi nodded curtly.
"But…but…" Kisame blinked as the TV screen faded to black, and gave Leader-sama and Deidara a very perplexed look, "what's it for? What's the point?"
Itachi was still staring at the screen with slightly narrowed eyes and as close to a confused expression as he ever got. "I can't make cold fusion." A pause. "I don't think." His eyes wandered toward the kitchen.
Kisame groaned.
"It's an advertisement, un!" Deidara explained, grinning.
"What?"
"An advertisement," Leader-sama repeated, calm in the face of Kisame's outburst.
"For what? We're a closed organization of S-class missing-nin! What do we need to advertise?"
"I have decided that all of you spend too much time sitting around here doing nothing. If we advertise, I imagine we'll get some good side jobs and accumulate more resources while you continue to search for the jinchuuriki. Deidara thought it would be amusing to do it this way."
"But what does the commercial have to do with any of that?"
"It shows the genius of our members, un!"
"But…but…" Kisame could feel a headache coming on.
"This is just a preliminary sketch, of course. Sasori and Deidara did quite well with the henge, didn't they?"
"Do I even want to know how you talked Sasori into doing it?"
Leader-sama smiled gently. "No."
Kisame eyed the man for a moment, then nodded quickly. "Whatever. It's not like anything we say will change your mind anyway."
"Excellent, un!" Deidara grinned again and darted out of the room after snatching up the tape.
"Good. And now, you might want to go see what your partner is up to." With that, Leader-sama smirked and swept out of the room after the Iwa-nin.
Kisame, realizing abruptly that Itachi was indeed no longer in the room and hearing the noise of popcorn popping in the kitchen, groaned and rose from his seat. He shot one last dark glance at the television and hurried out of the living room.
AN: Yeah...that's pretty random. Hope you like. :)