Chapter 11: Is This The End? (Final Chapter) "Your Eyes" is made by Alexz Johnson
The cab stopped in front of my house and paid the cab driver. I stepped out of the cab and the cab sped off. I walked in front of the steps and looked through my pockets for my house keys. I opened the door and Sadie is watching TV. She just ignored me as I went inside the house, eating ice cream. Mom was upstairs folding her clothes and mine. The phone rang and Sadie yelled:
"I got it!" She picked up the phone and gave the phone to me, "It's for you…"
"Hello?" I asked.
"Hi…Jude Harrison…this is Erving Mickelson from All Star Tonight and I would like you to answer some questions…if it's okay for you I mean…"
"Oh…sure…" I went to my room upstairs and closed the door. "What's up?"
"How is your career so far, Ms. Harrison?"
"Oh…it's going fine and…yeah…It's great…"
"I heard from G Major's owner, Darius that he cancelled your second album…but then wants you to work on it again…You felt very relieved to work on your album again, huh?"
"Well…I would've gotten a seizure if I didn't work on my album…" I joked. He laughed and I laughed softly. He continued asking questions.
"Ms Harrison, you ever think that you a starting a relationship with William?"
"I just wanted to start a friendship, not a relationship with William…"
"Oh…you just want to be friends with William?"
"Yeah…We just wanted to be friends…"
"Since William is gone…what do you want to do from here? You still want to work on your second album?"
"Well…I can't even talk right now…I got no comment…"
"I am sorry to hear about William's death…and good luck with the rest of your career…" He hung up the phone and I turned off the cordless. I can't believe that someone would ask about someone's death…It's stupid. The phone rang again and this time it was from another TV show:
"Hi…Jude Harrison…This is Tom Waits from Access Toronto and I would like for you to answer some of these questions…"
"NO…I can't take any calls right now…I am in a busy schedule right now…try to call me back sometime…" I interrupted.
"Oh…sorry to interrupt you in a time like this…goodbye…" He hung up the phone. God, these guys are annoying, I thought. The phone rang again and I yelled abruptly:
"Look…if you try to make me ask questions right now…"
"Jude…calm down…" It was Mr. Turner, "Looks like the tabloids are trying to get you…These media people…You can't even sleep well with these guys breathing down your neck…"
"Tell me about it…" I agreed. Somehow, Mr. Turner isn't really bothered about William's death, "What can I do for you, Mr. Turner?"
"Jude…this is really hard for me to say…is it okay for you to make a song about William?" He asked austerely.
"You mean me?" I asked, "I don't know…It's hard to face life without William already…"
"Jude…so it's a no then?" He asked.
"I'll try…But …"
"I know life can be hard if you lose someone dear…I already did twice…my wife and now William…I got used to it quickly just like my dad…I didn't even bother to remember…But when William died, all hell broke loose. I lost my only pride and joy. He was my only son…My only son…" He wept silently and continued: "Jude…I set the schedule for the funeral for next week…so you have a lot of time in your hands…See you soon, Ms Harrison."
"Right…see you soon…" He hung up and ended the conversation. I think that Mr. Turner trusted me more than ever, I barely met him and he trusted me…Let's just skip this week and go on to the funeral service…God I hate it…
The night before the funeral service…All Star Tonight made a tribute to William and me with a short yet sweet segment:
"Tonight on All Star Tonight, a look at Jude Harrison and William Turner's love life…It wasn't a relationship…but a friendship. Recently I talked to Jude Harrison about their 'friendship.' " Then the phone call from last week came out of nowhere and I felt embarrassed. After the interview, they showed a picture of me and William kissing in the rain in the car. Another, when we rode that motorcycle 2 weeks ago. The news anchorman continued: "This is really a friendship to remember. Coming up next…" I turned off the TV and sleep in the living room couch.
I was dropped off by my mom and she didn't want to go to the funeral because she's too busy with a new boyfriend of hers from Italy. Sadie didn't want to go because Tommy is there. I had to go because Mr. Turner wanted me to make a song about William. Tommy was in the service because I was there. Darius was there because he wanted to talk to Mr. Turner. A lot of people had a reason, other than seeing William for the last time, to go to the funeral. The funeral started at noon and Mr. Turner's brother, John C. Perkins III, is the emcee for the procession. I wore a red dress and black shoes. I brought my guitar case, the guitar that William gave me, and my amp. I looked stupid because I am wearing a dress and I carry a guitar and an amp. I saw William's body right next to the emcee and I felt my heart go down to my knees. I don't want to see him again…I feel so nervous…I can't even sing right now…I can't…I just can't…I sat down right next to Tommy and he said:
"Jude…you ready?"
"I don't even know if I am…" Mr. Perkins speaks:
"Welcome all to William Turner's funeral service…right now…we have 2004 Instant Star winner Jude Harrison singing 'Your Eyes.'"
"Well...here I go…" I stood up from my seat. I walked right down to the stage as the crowd went silent. When I got up onstage, I spoke a few words about me and William, with my guitar on my shoulder:
"Well…this song is really for William, he sang the first words for me...he told me that this song is for everyone that I trust…" I quoted William's words, exact words, "He asked me 'Will someone risk everything just to keep you safe?'" I strummed chords and I began to sing:
"Your Eyes"
Words by Alexz Johnson (originally)
If I was drowning in the
sea
Would you dive right in and save me?
If I was falling like
a star
Would you be right there to catch me?
If I was dreaming
of your kiss
Would you look right through me?
On the street
I'm waiting
In my heart it's raining
Your eyes are holding
up the sky
Your eyes make me weak, I don't know why
Your eyes
make me scared to tell the truth
I thought my heart was
bullet-proof
Now I'm dancing on the roof
And everybody knows
I'm into you
If my heart was sadder than a song
Would you
still listen?
If my tears fell on you, one by one
Would you see
them glisten?
On the street I'm waiting
In my heart it's
raining
Your eyes are holding up the sky
Your eyes make me
weak I don't know why
Your eyes make me scared to tell the truth
I
thought my heart was bullet-proof
Now I'm just dancing on the
roof
Every single thing you say makes me want to run away
Sometimes love's a rainy day but life goes on
As I sang the chorus one more time…my voice began to break…I shed a couple of tears and I held my tears for a little longer but I sang my heart out and let the people know I love William…
Your
eyes are holding up the sky
Your eyes make me weak, I don't know
why
Your eyes make me scared to tell the truth
I thought my
heart was bullet-proof
But I'm dancing on the roof
And
everybody knows I'm into you
"Thank you…" I left the stage and the crowd fell silent still. I got used to hearing enormous crowd cheering for me, but this is the first time the crowd didn't cheer for me. I sat down back in my seat next to Tommy. Mr. Perkins came up and congratulated me:
"A fine performance by Jude Harrison…We now have Mr. Phillip Turner, William's father, to have short speech about his time with young William…" He leaves the stage and in comes Mr. Turner.
"I was glad that all these people came here on this tear-jerking time…First of all, good afternoon to all of you who came…When William came in this world, my wife and I felt really comfortable that we have a gift from God. The day after William is born…my wife, Linda Turner, died from an infection. William didn't know who his mother is, even today.
I always talk to him on the phone when I am always away on business trips, talking just about anything. From TV shows to finding the right girl, we talk about it…Then Jude Harrison came in his life…" He pointed at me, "He met Jude at work and he just kept talking to her and complementing how much of good artist Jude really is…" He sighed:
"Losing William is really a big burden for me as a father…I lose my only son…He was young and talented. It was too early to lose him…He would've had a great future if he still lived…That is all that I can say…thanks for listening…" he leaves the stage and Mr. Perkins said his last remarks:
"Well…William turned out to be a cool nephew…He wrote a lot of plays in college and let me tell you…he wrote the plays about himself and his sorrows…I just hope that William can live a little longer so he can see his future… I would like to thank you all for coming to see William one last time…and see you all soon…" The crowd walked to William's casket and formed a huge line. Every person walked by and prayed for William. Others touched his cold hands and said their final goodbyes. Me…I looked at him and touched his hand and said:
"William…is this the end for you and me? Will I see you again?" I walked away from his casket and Darius, Tommy, Kwest, Liam, Mr. Turner, and Mr. Perkins carried his casket. They carried it a few yards away to William's burial ground, and then dropped the casket with care. I followed the crowd to William's burial ground and I went right next to the priest. The priest poured holy water on the casket as it was slowly sunk to the ground. Roses and lowers were dropped with the casket. I left the crowd and Tommy followed me.
"Jude…what's wrong?"
"I feel terrified…"
"Terrified about what?" Tommy asked. I didn't answer and walked away, "Jude…" He left me alone and I went to a nearby tree to sit down. I thought to myself, Is this the end for me and William? I didn't even say 'I love you' back to William?
The end?