1 Harry Potter and Dudley Snorkack-Dursley

Chapter 2: Family Time

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or anything related to it. Duh.

The next morning, Harry woke to the sounds of a conversation in the kitchen. He wandered downstairs to find Luna and Dudley talking calmly while Mr. and Mrs. Dursley watched with expressions that showed their displeasure at Dudley talking with a girl who was friends with Harry.

"Hello, Lu- Lila." Harry greeted Luna when she looked from her conversation with Dudley.

"Hello, Harry. Would you like some breakfast?" Luna held up an empty plate at the space next to her.

Dudley glared at Harry, obviously mad that his conversation had been interrupted. He tapped Luna sharply on the shoulder.

"I'm going to my room. Talk to you later?" Dudley half stated, half asked.

"Sure." Luna replied.

"Okay." Dudley stood up and went upstairs, leaving his plate for someone else to take to the kitchen.

"Have you heard anything from anybody from school this summer?" Luna asked.

"No, I haven't gotten any, erm, letters or talked to anyone but you, erm, Lila."

The Dursleys watched, confused. Harry grinned. It must seem as if he and Luna were speaking in code to them.

"I'm not that hungry. I think I'm going to go upstairs."

The Dursleys ignored Harry, and Luna just said "Okay, I'll be up in a minute." How Luna could stand being alone in the same room with the Dursleys was beyond Harry.

As his foot touched the top stair, Harry heard noises coming from Dudley's room. He crossed to the door and put his ear to it. "Snorkack...S-n-u-r-k-a-k. Sounds right..." Dudley was talking to himself.

Curious, Harry opened the door. Dudley looked up in surprise.

"Wha-What do you want?" Dudley glared at Harry.

"What are you doing?" Harry asked.

"Noth-Nothing. None of your business." Dudley said, crumpling up a piece of paper he had apparently been writing on before Harry had walked in on him.

Harry quickly reached out and snatched the paper. On it was written:

Lila Snurkak-Dursley

Lila Dursley-Snurkak

Dudley Dursley-Snurkak

Dudley Snurkak-Dursley

"What is this?"

Dudley grabbed the paper back. "Nothing!"

"Tell me." Harry reached towards his back pocket, to trick Dudley into thinking he had his wand with him.

It worked. Dudley went pale. "I...well...Does Lila have a boyfriend?"

Harry stood still with shock, then burst out laughing. "You like Lila? Well, no she doesn't have a boyfriend. But, you should know that she's really not your type. And Snorkack is spelled S-n-o-r-k-a-c-k, by the way."

Dudley wrote down the word Snorkack on his paper, then turned back to Harry. "She is my type! She's pretty, and nice..."

"And completely not your type. She's smart. You aren't."

Dudley glared at Harry. "How do you know I'm not as smart as she is?"

It took all of Harry's self control not to laugh. "I just do. Now, I suggest you find someone else to like."

"But I love her!"