Between the Earth and Sky

by Kira Douji

HIATIS If you never take the last step, you will spend the rest of your life wondering if you would have fallen. Kuchiki Byakuya x Abarai Renji.

4. When The Moon Reaches Back

Title: When The Moon Reaches Back
Rating: MAPP: NC-17, Fiction Ration: MA
Pairing/Character/s: Byakuya x Renji
Disclaimer: The author holds no license of nor makes claims to any of the characters, concepts, or story the above originated from in any way. The characters are used without permission of the original creator for the sake of entertainment only. No profit is gained from the writing found hereafter, nor any personal credit taken for the character designs, personalities or concepts stemming from the original story used. All situations below, unless otherwise stated, have no bearing on the creator's original work, and are solely the creation of the author based on personal interpretation of the above mentioned works or are parodies exempted from copyright laws. It is the responsibility of the reader to observe all warnings before proceeding to the fiction below, as it may contain any number of situations, themes, ideas, views, or lifestyles not suitable for those under the age of 18 or which may be contrary or offensive to the beliefs of some. In the event that the following is the author's original work, or contains an original character, the author holds the copy write and should be contacted before either is used or distributed in any way. All questions and comments concerning the written work or otherwise can be made directly to the author.
Warning/s: Spoilers for the Bleach manga from chapter 140 on, the Bleach anime episode 51 and up.
Word Count: 8,074
Summary: Sequel to "I Feel You". Fear is a strong motivator.
Author's Note: The title comes from the story Byakuya tells Renji about how the monkey always reached for the moon but no matter how he tried, he only ended up at the bottom of the lake after chasing it's reflection instead. Obviously, the comparison is Renji as the monkey and Byakuya the moon.
The original scene for this story has been stuck in my head for ages and just now escaped. The dialogue is based around Urahara's teaching technique when he was training Ichigo. "Your sword speaks to me only of abused fear." It reminded me very strongly of that one page spread before/during Renji's big scene with Byakuya which read

"I have always been afraid...
always been pretending to follow you closely,
always been pretending to sharpen my teeth,
when the truth is, I am...
scared to death just treading on your shadow."

I mentioned before that I didn't think Byakuya could fall into another relationship without somehow healing before or because of it. This theme carries over from my previous stories of the two. I also want to point out that due to the nature of Byakuya's loss and the absolute torture he put himself through to keep both of his conflictin oaths, I don't believe he would have possibly been open to another relationship with anyone until after the Soul Society arc, which finally puts some sort of closure to that section of his life. That having been said...

When The Moon Reaches Back
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear."
- Mark Twain

Renji couldn't remember exactly how he'd ended up in this position. Maybe it was because of the alcohol he'd already had making his head pleasantly woozy, or perhaps it was the still damp, warm breeze that is slowly drawing him to sleep. Either way, he couldn't quite figure it out; and while he was sure he should have been more attentive at the moment, the Sixth Division's vice captain just couldn't focus on the situation no matter how hard he tried. Because even though he's absolutely certain that it should be strange and unusual to be at ease leaning against a sakura tree in Kuchiki Byakuya's private garden drinking sake with his captain who sat just to his right leaning against the same tree, Renji just couldn't bring himself to care about the absurdity of a moment he was enjoying so much.

For the past few hours, Byakuya's voice had thrummed softly in the evening air. It was probably the most it had been used for quite some time, Renji had thought briefly about an hour into his captain's quiet retelling. It had started simply, that much he remembered. The offer of sake after he'd been invited outside, his suggestion to sit for a bit, the beginning conversation of Division Six's recent work which had led them quickly to still far too recent events. There was an obvious pause when the topic was breached, or rather, when each new topic was breached.

Renji remembered, too, how surprised he'd been to find that the sake had loosed Kuchiki Taichou's inhibitions enough to continue their conversation on from the discussion of the damage done to the Court of Pure Souls through the obvious segue of those who had caused the damage, directly into the matter of Rukia's brush with death. His voice hadn't altered no matter how many topics he'd changed to since then. Its monotony kept Renji spellbound to the unfolding story: listening to each tale as if he were dreaming it. He could remember adding things in here and there, but exactly what he'd said escaped him at the moment, so he took another sip of his sake and continued listening.

Kuchiki Byakuya, on the other hand, was very much aware of every word that came out of his mouth. He wasn't the kind to drown his thoughts in sake and then spill over at the slightest nudge, but the day had been long and the work intensive. And, much as he was loath to admit it, the previous day's events had dangled in the back of his head through each and every headache the day had brought. The conversation replayed in his head when he tried to do paperwork, and Renji's rain drenched profile sneaked in when he was giving orders or dealing with the newest fiasco that the intense rains had brought. No matter how he looked at it, he just couldn't see the offer for anything but what it was.

It made him think of the days he'd spent in the Fourth Division recovering from his fights with Ichigo and Gin. Each day was a struggle to wake up again, but he'd forced himself to each time he felt the sun on his eye lids. Each day, his lieutenant would sit in the chair by the wall and talk. He'd talk about anything, tentatively at first, but with more and more emotion when he saw that it wasn't bothering the stoic noble. Byakuya had never said anything aside from what was needed to keep the other man going, and they hadn't spoken about it since, but those days were the first time in years he'd actually been grateful for company.

"I told you before, Taichou. You're so used to being alone. You don't need to be."

Byakuya was starting to see in Renji what had made Rukia decide to be apart of his family. It was simple, and rough just like the street rat it came from, but it was also warm, and warmth was something he hadn't felt in a long time. Renji's offer had been friendship: the companionship of the lonely, so to speak. He knew that Renji was far from alone, that the man often hung out with his old team members or the other lieutenants, but he also knew that Renji didn't look at Rukia the same way he did before. There was still affection and loyalty, still worry and care, but the love had been muted somehow. The yearning was gone, and with it an awkward distance had grown. And so, Renji was without a family again, intentionally or not, giving it up to the Kuchiki home once more.

For some reason that just didn't seem right. Renji had too much passion to be forced to devote it in only one direction. In ways, it seemed like his dedication to becoming stronger, to eventually beating his captain was nothing more than an outlet for his intense energy. Byakuya knew, of course, that it wasn't merely an outlet – nothing the man put the entirety of himself into could be – but he also knew it was the only passion his vice captain had left. That for all the man's casual attitude and exuberant disposition his features could so easily turn serious and sad, his eyes so easily reflect the pain Byakuya rued how easily shown in his own gaze. His eyes slid left so that he could catch his lieutenant's profile again and he belatedly realized that somewhere amidst his own ponderings, he'd stopped talking.

Tension tried to slide back into place as it was want to when neither of them spoke. It was hard, sometimes, to remember to make the effort to keep it at bay. Despite all that had happened, there was still such a distance between them. Byakuya hadn't expected much else, to be honest: such things usually took a long time to overcome, but still… it was something that nagged him every now and again on the rare moments when they were together and nothing was being said. Now that he had stopped talking, though, he couldn't find the words to start again. Instead, the sixth division captain took advantage of the pause to observe his subordinate, who hadn't moved since they sat down.

Renji had instinctively reclined against the tree in a rather casual position, his left leg bent so he could rest his arm on it. His right hand sat on his lap, holding an empty sake dish he hadn't bothered to refill again. He was still in his uniform for the most part, Zabimaru off his hip but not far away on the ground. He'd undone the outer tie of his robes when they'd first entered the garden, so now both his black gi and the white cloth beneath it were open enough to show some of the tattoos on his torso. Renji had since found a hair tie again, so the unruly red mass was tightly bound in his usual high pony tail. His visor like sunglasses weren't yet replaced, so he had substituted with the equally as common white clothe tied like a headband around his forehead. His eyes were open, gazing up at the foliage above them and the night sky beyond that, but it didn't look like he was actually seeing any of it.

"… Ne, Taichou…" Renji's deep tenor broke the silence suddenly.

"Yes, Renji?" Byakuya answered in his normal manner, turning forward once more.

Renji paused for a moment, as if rethinking what he was going to say. The silence stretched out; Byakuya could almost feel the uncertainty radiate from his vice-captain as the man finally settled on a thought. It was strange, since Renji usually didn't show any weakness around him if he could get around it at all. Eventually, the other man just sighed, shifting in his spot as he seemingly rethought what he was going to say and instead asked quietly, "Why'd you do it?"

Following his lieutenant's train of thought seemed like something that would take him a longer time to master than his ban kai. "Why did I do what, Renji?"

"Why did you become a captain?" Renji dropped his head down again, chuckling a little nervously under his breath. "I mean, I just don't get it. You're the only one in your family to have ever gotten this far and you're – it's amazing, Taichou," the man's voice shuttered a bit, making it harder to hear what he said, but he continued. "But you've never said anything about why you pushed yourself so much. It was easy for you to join the Gotei 13… it would have been just as easy to stay that way. Then it's almost… almost outta the blue that you became a captain."

Byakuya turned to his left again, this time with more of his body than just his head, noting that Renji's position had changed to a taunt mimicry of defense. He frowned slightly, wondering not for the first time what was going through his subordinate's mind. "I did what was expected of me-"

Renji's somewhat harsh laugh cut him off. "Don't give me that bullshit, Kuchiki Taichou; you know I know better than that."

"Abarai-" the noble began again, but was again cut off.

"There was no one left to expect anything of you, Taichou," Renji continued more quietly this time. "I remember the day you became a captain. It felt like no matter how hard I chased… you just kept getting farther away. But there was no one there breathing down your back to become better, there was no one encouraging you to keep expanding your power, so the only person who could have made the decision to try… was you."

The captain of the sixth division frowned again and allowed himself to lean against the tree, this time on his left side, so he could watch his vice-captain's reaction. "I did it because I needed to," he began softly, watching as Renji relaxed, hearing the truth in his words. "I needed to become better than what I was… it hadn't been good enough."

Renji leaned back again, this time with his eyes closed and though he had relaxed a bit at his captain's words, he was still tense. "I can't imagine you ever not being good enough, Kuchiki Taichou," he spoke softly, a slight tremor in his voice, "but I know the feeling. I told you before… that the reason I fought so hard for Rukia was because I… I was terrified of losing her, and you already know that I want to surpass you, but that's not the whole reason." He took a somewhat shaky breath and opened his eyes again. "'cuz the truth is, Taichou, no matter how close I get… I'm still just scared to death." Renji hazarded a glance back at his captain, adding quietly, "I guess I was just hoping there was a chance you might've been scared too."

The heir to the Kuchiki clan remained silent for a long moment, digesting everything that had been told to him. His expression didn't change, but he sat up slowly and turned so that he was facing his lieutenant completely. "Having no fear only makes one a fool or defeated," he stated finally, "Continuing on despite fear is true power, Renji, and that's exactly what you have done."

Renji straightened a bit, surprised by his captain's words and somewhat embarrassed by the hidden compliment: the noble had never complimented him before. He opened his mouth to reply, but then closed it sheepishly, unsure of how he should answer. He hadn't even expected to say that much, and so hadn't anticipated that kind of reply. Instead, the best he could do was meet his captain's gaze unflinchingly.

"And, to answer your real question: yes, I have been afraid. I was scared when my parents passed away. I was frightened when Hisana took ill. And I remained that way for years after she left me as well," Byakuya continued, his voice taking on a tone Renji had never heard before. I seemed… fragile, but somehow still stern and determined. "I was terrified of again being placed in a situation I couldn't do anything about… and I am afraid of what I'm about to do."

"Kuchiki Tai-" Renji tried to question, but was cut off by his captain's lips suddenly covering his own. Auburn eyes widened in surprise, but then slowly recovered from the initial shock and slid half way shut. His arms moved of their own accord and grabbed the front of Byakuya's gi, pulling the other man closer. As if following some unseen queue, their lips parted simultaneously to deepen the kiss. He wasn't thinking anymore, because if he did he might have to come up with a reason or excuse for his or his captain's actions and he wasn't sure he wanted one.

They broke slowly, but didn't pull away. Renji's grip tightened, bunching the pristine white material of Kuchiki's captain over-coat. He leaned forward suddenly, pulling his captain against him as he did, so he could hide his face against the crook of Byakuya's neck and avoid whatever expression it was that had spread across his captain's face. More than anything, he didn't want the other man to see what was written on his own, because now he was more frightened than ever.

-----

For some reason it made things easier. For some reason, seeing his captain the next day went much smoother. For some reason, talking to him and joking around a bit came effortlessly. Nothing really changed, but somehow it was different. Kuchiki Byakuya was still the same cold noble he always was and Renji, well, he knew he knew he seemed to be the same, but there wasn't any tension left in him. He was terrified underneath it all: didn't know what it could mean or how it could progress, but for some reason it just didn't bother him as much anymore.

And when Kuchiki Taichou decided to cut off the day's work in the afternoon, Renji didn't have to ask to know it was because his captain had chosen to step up his training a bit. And somehow, it was easier to strike out at his captain way out in the middle of nowhere, Hihiou Zabimaru spun out over countless yards around him, a wall of swords constricting his movement. Somehow, it was easier to attack. Somehow, he wasn't hesitant to slash or block. Somehow, the fear in him didn't matter anymore.

When Byakuya announced the end to their practice long after the sky had blackened, both ban kai's still solid and straining against each other even as their controllers paused, Renji didn't feel as disappointed as he usually did. He grinned and joked that, yeah, it'd be a good idea since he'd probably need yet another uniform if Kuchiki Taichou kept slashing him like that. To which his captain had suggested he be more concerned with learning how to avoid said slashes than replacing his clothing. Renji had released his ban kai with a heartfelt laugh and agreed, but thought maybe Kuchiki Taichou had agendas other than teaching him how to dodge. When said captain suggested they return to his residence to eat, bathe, and perhaps find the truth of that, Renji had to grin, because he was finally starting to see the subtleties of Kuchiki Byakuya's moods and couldn't help appreciating them.

And so an hour later saw them finishing a rather large, traditional meal on the tatami mats of one of the many rooms in the Kuchiki estate that Renji hadn't quite set to memory yet. As per their upbringings, Renji spent most of the meal with a rather relaxed sitting position, talking expressively in-between eating and complimenting the chef. Why didn't they serve stuff like this to the Gotei 13, anyway? Because it was far too expensive for that many people, Byakuya had quite calmly informed his companion, never breaking his seiza for a moment as he slowly and gracefully consumed his portion of the delectable dinner. He did mention, though, that Renji could probably give his cook some tips on how to make stir fry. Renji somehow managed to keep a blush down, and muttered something intelligible despite the warmth that spread through him at the compliment. He was still getting used to those.

Byakuya carefully set his chopsticks on the wooden rest in front of him and elegantly rose from his refined sitting position. Renji looked up at him curiously, still finishing his tea. "Taichou?"

"Join me for a bath?" He offered casually.

Coming from any of his friends it wouldn't have stood out. Renji swallowed his tea and set the cup down, stretching as he stood up. "Sure thing, Taichou."

Without another word, Byakuya turned and left the room. Renji followed silently, looking around as they entered another desolate hallway so he could try and memorize yet another part of the grand estate. In the end, he decided it really wasn't worth his time, as it wasn't likely that he'd ever be wandering around without his captain. For some reason, that thought was rather comforting. They stopped at a door halfway down a short hallway that ended in a doorway. Renji took note of it, because every other hallway either led outside or to a ridiculously huge room with the door open.

A soft waft of steam drifted out when Byakuya opened the door and walked in, glancing back for the first time since dinner to watch Renji follow him in. The first area was moderately sized for a simple cleaning area. There was a small shelving unit against one wall which held lidless baskets of towels and another next to that in which all the baskets seemed to be empty. Renji pondered this as he swept his gaze across the rest of the room.

"There are two ways into the bath," Kuchiki Byakuya's deep voice interrupted his subordinate's thoughts suddenly as the noble selected both an empty basket and one with a few towels in it. Renji blinked at him. Byakuya fought down a smirk and gestured to the other end of the room which had a noran covered doorway identical to the one closer to their side. "Take your time," he added and turned on his heel, taking the closer doorway and disappearing behind the long noran.

Renji shifted in place for a moment before following Byakuya's lead and taking one of each basket and pushing aside the other noran. A short hallway later, he found himself in a room much like his own back at his apartment. The flooring was wooden, as were the single stool and box of various soaps set in the middle of the room. There was a heated tub nearby with a bucket next to it and the whole room was filled with a light steam that wafted off the water in the tub. All and all the room was comfortably familiar, while at the same time showing little bits of the noble home it belonged to in such details as the type of wood used and the craftsmanship within.

Renji set the two baskets down and quickly stripped, guessing the empty basket was for his clothes. With each piece of clothing removed, he took stock of the injuries received that day. There were three shallow slashes on his left arm and four on his right, all of which were closing relatively quickly do to some spot application of whatever ointment Kuchiki Taichou had handed him. His right stomach had a good nick in it, but he was steadily ignoring that with relative ease. Removing his gi had also enlightened him to a few "scratches" on his back that should probably be cleaned soon. The hakama came next, under which Renji was glad to find no new injuries had sprouted up. The gash in his left leg acquired a few days earlier was healing well, and although there were a few scrapes here and there, nothing looked like it needed more than a good cleaning.

The lieutenant of the Sixth Division filled a bucket full of hot water and sat down on the stool in the middle of the room, wondering why it was the better his captain and he got along, the more wounds he seemed to accumulate. With a sigh, he dipped a wash cloth into the bucket and started a vigorous scrub. Nothing really stung noticeably until he added a little soap and used a longer towel to get his back. It wasn't anything he couldn't ignore, but still hurt a good bit. Renji grumbled a few obscenities. When he trained alone he'd never managed to get his back. He worked his back anyway, rubbing the towel over the wounds until they were either thoroughly clean or numb, whichever came first. Finally satisfied that they wouldn't bother him again, he rinsed with the rest of the water in the bucket and undid his hair tie.

A refilled bucket quickly emptied over his head and he took a moment to search through the box of soaps to find some sort of shampoo. Eventually landing something that smelled faintly of sandalwood, Renji refilled the bucket and sat down again, briskly rubbing the soapy concoction into his scalp. It felt surprisingly good. Better than his stuff at any rate. The full bucket next to him was quickly utilized to rinse out his hair, and as he squeezed out the excess water from the rinse, he noticed the red mane had grown again. For a moment, Renji contemplated cutting it, but then decided against it. If it ever needed a trim, his captain would likely end up fulfilling that task during one of their spars.

With that thought curling his lips, Renji grabbed the two baskets, one full of clothes and the other now only half full of towels, and took the second exit indicated by a noran simply marked with a "ゆ". The next room that greeted him was somewhat large for what seemed to be a rather private bathing area. A bath more resembling indoor hot springs was built into the floor of the room, taking up most of it from the middle outwards. The entire room was lined by tiled walls, an unbroken row of small windows topping each one. A light breeze drifted in from some of the open windows, but didn't cool the room by more than what felt nice.

Frowning slightly, Renji noted that he was the only person in the room. It seemed odd because he was sure that he'd taken longer than needed cleaning up. Not being able to do anything about that, however, he just found some stands set aside for his baskets, set them down, and grabbed a medium sized towel before making his way over to the bath in the middle of the room. There seemed to be a bench built into the side of the tub, which lined it entirely. Using this as a step, Renji entered the wonderfully hot water, wincing a bit when certain wounds were scalded, and noted absently that there seemed to be some sort of mineral mix in the water as well. With a content sigh, he leaned back against the side of the tub and set his head on the bunched up towel he'd brought with him.

It was hard to tell how much time passed before he felt the gentle swish of displaced water, but it had to be at least another few minutes since he'd gotten in. Renji cracked an eye open and then sat up a bit, surprised. Byakuya was already mostly in by the time his lieutenant had opened his eyes, but it was neither the relaxed expression he held nor the fact that he had chosen to sit fairly close to Renji that had startled the red haired shinigami. It was simple yet stark absence of five small yet very significant pieces of white. While it answered his questions concerning why the captain had taken longer than him – surely the complicated head piece would take a while to unweave from his hair – the fact remained that Kuchiki Byakuya never appeared without his kenseikan. It was a subtle but potent admission that he considered this to be private.

Renji slowly leaned back against the edge of the bath, unsure whether that was a good thing or not. He thought it would be harder thinking of Kuchiki Byakuya as anyone other than the powerful heir to the Kuchiki clan, but he was finding it surprisingly easy. Easy or not, however, the effect was only helped along by the fact that his captain looked undeniably… sensuous with his hair down and still wet enough to stick to his neck and shoulders. Some of the raven tresses still managed to feather the front of his face even without the help of the kenseikan, the color contrasting alluringly with the noble's pale skin. Renji closed his eyes and leaned back before his wandering eyes could add much more than that.

It wasn't too much later that the wondrous sensation of lips ever so lightly brushing his neck caused Renji to crack an eye open again. It looked like his decision to not act earlier had not been appreciated. With a smirk, Renji leaned his head a bit to the right and opened both of his eyes just enough to watch his captain take advantage of the new expanse of skin. The brush of lips continued followed by the addition of teeth tracing a path up his neck until the other man paused to gently tug on the bottom of his ear. Renji let a soft sigh of pleasure escape then and turned his head back towards his companion to catch those wandering lips in a deep kiss.

Byakuya gave a soft rumble of approval and tilted his head to better return the kiss. He turned his body so that he was more completely facing his vice captain, sliding his right knee on to the bench against the other man's thigh and broke the kiss. A free hand snaked around his neck, and abruptly forced him down into another kiss, this one more heated than the last. He could feel Renji smile against his lips, amused at being able to catch his captain off guard. Byakuya let his hand drop down to Renji's shoulder and tightened his grip there, simultaneously pushing the other shinigami against the edge of the tub and forcing his head down, all but demanding control of the kiss.

Renji broke away then, panting softly for lost breath. Warmth pressed in on him even as it started to grow inside him. His captain pressed closer, unheard words ghosting past his ear that made him turn his head enough to look at the other man. An unseen hand trailed down his side and skidded across his stomach, the muscles there clenching automatically. Using the hand still buried in the hair at the base of Byakuya's neck, Renji changed the angle at which he dragged the other man closer and pressed his lips to the exposed Adam's apple, immediately parting his lips just enough to suck gently on the skin there. He felt a shiver run through the other man and grinned against his neck. Pealing his lips away slightly, Renji let his teeth drag along the sensitized flesh all the way to where neck met shoulders and paused there to alternate nipping and soothing the juncture.

A soft gasp giving way to an equally quiet moan escaped Byakuya's lips, his grip on Renji's shoulder tightening. His free hand ghosted up the taunt muscles of Renji's torso until it brushed over a nipple and paused there to tease the responsive nub of skin. The mouth trailed to his shoulder and when he twisted, the sharp pressure of teeth digging into his skin sparked through him. Byakuya in turn smoothed his fingers along the sensitized skin, soothing and stimulating at the same time. Renji's teeth were quickly replaced with lips again, mimicking the gesture received by relaxing the bitten skin. Byakuya's hand slid from Renji's shoulder to the nape of his neck, fingers threading through the thick red hair for a good hold before forcing his head back enough for his captain to catch his lips in a rough kiss.

Renji didn't have a chance to fight this time, Byakuya's skilled tongue quickly making him both incapable and unwilling to push for control. With a low moan, he relented, letting himself be pushed against the wall of the tub by the noble's warm body. Then suddenly, the heat and weight shifted off him and the lips vanished from his. Renji blinked his eyes open in confusion, glancing up and to his left to catch sight of his companion as he carefully climbed out of the water.

"Taichou?"

Byakuya turned and passed Renji a towel, "My room is just through that door," he answered, gesturing to the only door left which rested snuggly in the nearest corner. "I assume you would prefer it to a bath?" The noble didn't let the tone of his voice change much, but the look he was giving the other man said enough.

Renji took the offered towel and climbed out as well, not being able to keep a chuckle down. His captain was the only person he knew who was prim enough to ask before continuing and yet commanding enough to make it sound like an offer of comfort. With a shake of his head, and feeling slightly more relaxed than before Renji answered, "Yeah, Taichou, I'd like that."

-----

Renji slipped quietly into the hallway, making sure to slide the door shut behind him. He hastily readjusted the slippery silk house robe he'd managed to find and tightened the sash again. His tired muscles protested weakly when he started walking down the hallway, joined adamantly by some sharp jabs of pain from the cuts he'd ignored earlier as well as other places that hadn't hurt in a long time. As usual, he ignored it all and kept walking down the dimly lit hallway, not quite sure where in the large home he was or where, particularly, he was going.

The thing was, he'd simply never let himself fall asleep: his mind just kept going and despite or perhaps because of everything that had happened he was still a little… confused. When he was confused, usually, he hit stuff. Well, he worked out, and if he was lucky could convince someone to spar so it was like hitting things, and he always thought better when he was fighting or at least moving, so it worked out best in the end. He couldn't quite do that this time, though. If he hit anything in this house, he was pretty sure he'd owe more than he was worth no matter what it was, and the only person who he could think of sparing was asleep and damned if he was going to wake Kuchiki Taichou from the slumber of the sated.

Which, really, only left walking, and since he hadn't been able to locate his basket of clothes, he was forced to do so in a thrice damned robe that kept moving and sliding every time he moved. No wonder his captain hardly seemed to move when he walked! That aside, his mind was really only stuck on one thought: now what? The most unnerving thing was not knowing if he should stay. Kuchiki Byakuya was a fickle combination of propriety and defiance, and Renji wasn't quite sure where he fit in that. It was fine back when they were just captain and lieutenant: then he could easily fall under the rules of propriety (not that he knew the particularly well) and that was that. Now, though… now it was a matter of whether Byakuya meant to keep this under wraps.

Despite what most might think, Renji wasn't exactly the type of guy to go around announcing who he was involved with: he was simply too protective. That aside, his captain was far more private than he was, which left him to question if the man intended for him to simply pretend everything was not what it had just become. That one was a little harder to sort through, since this faucet of their relationship definitely fell under the defiance category. Renji knew he wasn't the first person Byakuya had taken into his life whom his family wouldn't exactly approve of, yet still had to let slide because of his captain's position, but somehow that knowledge didn't help the situation much. He wasn't an adoption and he wasn't a fiancé, hell, he wasn't sure what he was, but he was pretty damn certain it wasn't "proper".

So was he supposed to stay or go? Was he supposed to sneak out before the servants woke up or stay defiantly in the Kuchiki estate – in the head of the clan's own bed – until they left for work in the morning? Did it matter to him? Oh hell yeah; he wanted to just go lay back down on the surprisingly comfortable futon and sleep, thinking be damned. …But he was too far in now not to care. What a mess. He ran a hand through his hair and grumbled.

"… Renji?"

Renji's head snapped up at the familiar voice. "Ru-Rukia?" Aw… fuck.

The small woman drew closer, peering up at him, as if making sure she was seeing straight. Not that he blamed her, considering there was no damn reason for him to be wandering around her house in the middle of the night. Well, just one. Maybe. Not acceptable. Shit. "What are you doing here?"

"I, uh… er…" Renji stuttered, trying to come up with an excuse and failing miserably.

"And why are you walking out of Ni-sama's quarters?" She was peering suspiciously at him now.

"I… isn't it a little late, Rukia?" he finally managed, "what're you doing out this way, anyway? Shouldn't you be asleep?" There, if he had to go down, he was taking her with him.

"I just got back from my shift," she gestured pointedly to her uniform. "Does Ni-sama know you're here? He'll be upset if he-"

"He knows," Renji interrupted quickly, knowing full well that he was blushing head to toe now. "He, uh, invite-"

"What are you wearing?" Rukia stepped closer, grabbing at the material. "Is that silk? I didn't know you owned silk!"

"Rukia!" Renji hissed, grabbing the material back before it could slide too far out of position. "Oi, if you want to see me naked that badly-"

Rukia flushed at that, but didn't relent, "Are you kidding? Who'd want to see that?"

Renji growled, just about prepared to tell her exactly who would and did like to see 'that' when he felt a hand on his shoulder and damn near jumped out of his skin.

"What are the two of you conspiring about so late at night?" Byakuya drawled from behind him, and then added, "Other than stealing my clothes."

"N-ni-sama!" Rukia bowed automatically. "I was just returning from my shift and found Renji in the hallway-" she paused. Looked up again. Blinked. Looked at Renji. Looked at Byakuya, and then back at Renji who was giving a very nervous smile by this point… and grinned. "There's no way…"

Renji scoffed, crossing his arms. "It's not that surprising."

"So you wouldn't mind if I told-mpphh!" Rukia clawed at the hands covering her mouth.

"My what a lovely night for a walk don't you think, Rukia?" Renji spoke loudly over her muffled indignities. "Ah, I thought so too: how about I walk you back to your room and you can never mention this ever again? Good? Good! I thought so: let's go!"

"Renji."

The red head stopped mid step and glanced over his shoulder.

"If you keep yelling like that you will wake the whole house," Byakuya calmly pointed out.

"Oh… yeah… uh, sorry, Taichou…" Renji sheepishly apologized, but before he could go anywhere, the hand was back on his shoulder pulling him away from the main hallway.

"Renji."

"…Yes, Taichou?"

"I would also prefer it if you didn't strangle my sister."

"… Oh." He took his hand off of Rukia's mouth and she pushed away, gasping harshly for air. "… sorry," he added, though unsure to whom he was apologizing. Rukia glared at him as he set her back on the ground.

"You should get to sleep, Rukia: I will see you tomorrow," Byakuya intoned formally.

Rukia looked a little uncertain now and maybe a little embarrassed, but bowed anyway and kind of made a quick step backwards as she did, mumbling something that sounded like, "Good evening, Ni-sama," and then spinning around to walk down the hallway as quickly and quietly as possible.

"We should get to sleep too," Byakuya pointed out once she was a significant distance away.

"… All night?" Renji asked quietly, turning slightly to look back at the elder Kuchiki.

Byakuya frowned lightly, "Yes all night, what else would I mean?"

"I mean…" Renji sighed and just asked, "I mean you want me to stay the whole night, Taichou? You don't want me to… leave before you or anything?"

"… That's why you were out here?"

Renji looked down, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well I… I wasn't sure, so I thought maybe if I went for a walk I could figure things out, but I-" He stopped short when jaw was caught in a gentle but firm grasp and tilted up so that he was looking straight at his captain again.

"I don't take risks for things I don't think are worth it," Byakuya interrupted with the simple statement. "You are worth it."

Renji's throat dried up almost instantly, leaving him without a way to speak if he could even find the words. So that was it. He grinned. He just couldn't help it. Without another avenue of expression, all he could do was grin at the other man and eventually lean forward to capture pale lips in a quick but fierce kiss. When he pulled back, his voice finally returned. "Let's go to bed, ne Taichou?"

Byakuya smirked back at him, just a slight upturn of the lips, but still more than the usually stoic man let show. "That sounds wonderful, Renji."