Ed knew that his life seemed perfect. He had a girlfriend who adored him and he adored her. Spending time with Kristen Kringle was everything Ed had thought it might be whenever he had gazed longingly at her. When he was with her, holding her hand and walking by her side, he realised that this was what he had waited for. He had waited for months for her to be his and now she was. She was completely his. She was all his. But then when he was with her, his mind would wander. They would be sat on the sofa, watching films together and he would let his gaze drift to his cell on the arm of the seat.

Olivia hadn't called him days. She hadn't even text him. They usually didn't go longer than a day without speaking to each other. Ed had gotten into the habit of texting her daily after they had found her and stopped the Ogre. But now, ever since he had started dating Kristen, they had drifted. He missed her too. He missed her more than he thought he would.

"She's just a phone call away."

Ed tried to ignore the voice, focusing on the movie on the screen and Kristen leaning against his side, head on her shoulder.

"Don't even pretend that you are interested in this, Eddie. You'd rather it was Olivia sat next to you, pressed against you like this. You'd rather have her here…perhaps you'd have forgotten about the film by now."

Ed ground his teeth together as Kristen laughed softly at the screen.

"Do you think she has moved on, Ed? Do you think that was why she hasn't bothered calling? She has someone else right now. Someone else touching our little Olivia…pleasing her…giving her what she needs."

"I just have to pop to the bathroom," Ed said to Kristen, uncurling his arm from around her as she nodded. He moved into the bathroom and closed the door, locking it for extra security. He stood over the sink and began running the tap, pooling cold water in his hands and then throwing it onto his face.

"Stop this," he hissed into the mirror as he saw the other figure staring back at him, his face cocky and his eyes narrowed.

"What is it, Eddie? You know I'm talking sense. Just walk out of here, go to Olivia's and tell her what is going to happen. Stop letting her dictate the relationship. She is not the one in charge here."

"I respect her too much…she said she wanted time."

"Respect is not going to get you what you want, Eddie. She doesn't want that either. We both know she wants you."

"No. She is not a possession," Ed said into the mirror. "She is Olivia. She is Olivia…and I care too much to hurt her."

"You're never going to get her. Let me take over. Let me do what needs to be done."

"Never," Ed said with a shake of his head, hands holding onto the sink until his knuckles turned white. "Never."

…

"Where is she?"

Lee looked nervously to Jim as he entered her own apartment. She did her best not to feel worried at what she was going to tell them. Olivia and Lee were supposed to be going out for dinner, but something had come up at the morgue. She had asked Jim, who had been having lunch with Olivia anyway, if both of them could go back to her apartment and they could just order a takeaway instead. Jim said he would love to stay, but as soon as Lee got back he had to go again. He was part of task Strike Force and they worked all round the clock.

"Just in the bathroom," Jim said, brows furrowing as Lee quickly pressed her lips to his. "Why? What is wrong?"

"I kind of did something stupid," Lee said just as Olivia entered the kitchen and smiled.

"Hey," she said to Lee. "You okay?"

"Fine," Lee nodded. "Listen, I have something to tell both of you." Looking to Jim, she pointed at her boyfriend. "This will annoy you," she said to him and then looked to Olivia. "And this might make you nauseous."

"Lee," Jim complained, wanting to know what was going on.

"Okay, okay," she held her hands up. "I was talking with Kristen Kringle earlier and she asked if we," she said, looking to Jim, "wanted to have a double date with her and Ed."

"Jeez," Olivia muttered and reached for the bottle of wine she had bought as the couple watched her grab two glasses, one for her and one for Lee. "Seriously?" Olivia demanded, pouring the wine. "A double date? With you guys? You know that Ed hasn't even called me in…I don't know how long…and now he wants a double date with both of you?"

"Please tell me you said no," Jim begged as Olivia handed Lee a glass of wine.

The doctor held onto it and bit down on her bottom lip, her silence speaking volumes as Jim groaned and dropped his hands to his hips. Olivia's eyes widened in response, her mouth gaping.

"She had me cornered!" Lee defended herself.

"Lee," Jim complained.

"Sorry," Lee said, "but then I was thinking that this might be a good chance to see what Kristen and Ed are like as a couple and find out if…well…you know, they're serious."

"So you want to perform some kind of social experiment?" Jim checked and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Fine, where is this date happening? Do we need to book a restaurant?"

There was silence again and Jim looked concerned as Olivia sipped on her wine.

"I kind of invited them here," she said.

There was a collective groan from both Jim and Olivia then.

"Your apartment?" Olivia checked. "Why does it need to be so intimate?"

"We can't leave," Jim complained. "We're already here."

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," Lee said and took a drink of her wine as Jim reached for his coat from the back of the chair. Shrugging into it as Lee moved towards him, he watched her place a hand onto his arm. "But it will be fine."

"Yeah," Jim said, not sounding convinced. "I've got to go. I'll be back late tonight, okay?"

"Be safe," Lee urged and kissed him quickly.

Jim embraced his sister quickly and left the apartment, leaving both Lee and Olivia. Looking to Olivia, Lee watched as she looked off to the side, her eyes gazing out the window in the kitchen. She was clearly in a world of her own. There was something going on.

"Are you okay?" Lee asked.

"No," Olivia said honestly to her, finally looking back to her. "He hasn't called me in ages, Lee. I'm not jealous of him dating Kristen Kringle, but I thought that we were friends. I thought that we were closer than this and now it is like he has forgotten me."

"Come on, we need to sit down and discuss this," Lee said, both of them heading towards the sofa. She picked the bottle of wine up on her way and placed it on the coffee table. Both of them sat down on the sofa, curled up at either end. "What's going on, Liv?"

"I kept trying to make plans with Ed," Olivia said. "I asked him to lunch and everything else and I know that he has a girlfriend now so we won't spend as much time together as we might have before, but it is like he has dropped me. He has completely dropped me, Lee. I thought he was my friend."

"I know," Lee said. "And he…he asks after you when I am at work."

"Then why does he not call me?"

"I think it might be because of Kristen Kringle," Lee admitted to Olivia, swirling her wine in the glass absentmindedly. "You and Ed are really close and both me and Jim were shocked when you did not actually get together. Sometimes other women can find those types of relationships threatening…particularly because…well…we both know that you and Ed have something more."

"It scared me," Olivia admitted to Lee, chewing the inside of her cheek and looking down to her lap. "I know that Ed is nothing like Jack or Jason. He would never hurt me or treat me badly…but maybe that is what scares me more…the idea that we could be happy and I might do something to mess that up. I don't want to do that to him."

"Liv," Lee sighed as Olivia wiped her eyes, feeling tears beginning to collect. "You deserve to be happy."

"And I want to be happy, but I feel like I don't deserve it," Olivia said as Lee placed her wine glass down and moved closer to Olivia. She wrapped an arm around her shoulders and Lee felt Olivia drop her head to her shoulder. "I'm scared of a relationship with him…but the thought of him with Kristen…the idea of him going out with her…doing God knows what with her…I'm lying, it does make me jealous, but I have no right to be jealous. I have no right whatsoever because I told him not to wait for me…I can't have him now…I don't deserve to have him."

….

Olivia knew that she had drunk too much. She had drunk far too much and had fallen asleep in the guest bedroom. She woke up late in the morning with a note o the bedside table. She squinted as she managed to read it, raking a hand through her hair. Jim and Lee had gone to work, but Lee had urged Olivia to stay in her apartment for as long as she liked considering Olivia didn't have her car as Jim had been the one to drive them to Lee's apartment.

Moving to her feet, Olivia felt unsteady before she realised she was about to throw up. Rushing into the bathroom, she bent over the toilet and emptied the contents of her stomach. Closing her eyes, she stood up and moved to the sink, running the cold water and letting it splash her face.

She could walk back to her apartment. The fresh air would do her some good. She went back to the guest room and sat back down on the bed, taking a deep and shaky breath before closing her eyes. She could have ten more minutes before she had to go.

….

Olivia woke up to the noise of her cell ringing on her bedside table. She opened her eyes once more and reached for it. She managed to answer the call without looking at the screen.

"Hello?" she said.

"Olivia, are you okay?" Lee asked, voice slightly concerned. "I have been texting you for the past couple of hours and you haven't replied."

"Couple of hours? What time is it?"

"Almost six," Lee said to her.

"Christ," Olivia complained. "I am so sorry, Lee. I didn't feel great when I woke up so I went to sit back down and have ten minutes. I must have fallen asleep for the entire day."

Lee chuckled. "You did drink two bottles of wine," she responded.

"I know," Olivia complained.

"I'm on my way back to my apartment now. Kristen and Ed are due to arrive at seven if you want to be gone, but if you still don't feel well then you can stay, Liv."

"And play gooseberry on your date?" Olivia asked and went to stand up. "I don't think so. I am going to head home."

"Well text me when you get back," Lee urged from her.

"Will do."

Olivia hung up and placed her cell down. Reaching for her ankle boots, she slipped them onto her feet before her cell began to ring again. Rolling her eyes, she picked the phone up once again and then looked at the caller ID. It was Ed. Olivia gulped and picked up.

"Hi, Ed."

"Olivia," his voice was soft. "I need to talk to you. I need you."

…

Sitting in the guest room, Olivia could hear the conversation down the hall. She had asked Lee if she could stay over for a while longer, claiming that she didn't feel well still. Lee had told her it was fine. Olivia had no intention of leaving the guest room, but she knew that she had to talk with Ed. She had told him that she would. The idea of going out into the dining room and seeing them all sat there was enough to make her feel queasy once again.

Ed sat around the table with Kristen, Jim and Lee. The four of them were having pleasant enough conversation, but Olivia had said that she would be here. She had told them that she would be at dinner. But then Lee had said that she was ill and sleeping. Ed wondered if that was true.

"Lee, may I use your bathroom?" Ed asked after the main course.

"Down the hall, door on the left," Lee said and Ed nodded. Kristen squeezed his hand as he moved to his feet and walked down the hall, closing the door to the kitchen on his way. He looked around before noticing a light from underneath one door.

He ignored the bathroom and pushed the door open to find Olivia sat on the bed, legs pulled up to her chin. She had a book balanced in her lap and wore checked pyjamas that she had borrowed from Lee. Her hair was hanging down her face and her cheeks were pale. She peered up as soon as she saw Ed stood there.

"I thought that you were going to have dinner with us," Ed said to her.

"I suddenly felt ill," she said. "Lee said I could stay here. You should go back to them. I don't want to pass what I have onto you."

"You're not sick," Ed said firmly, knowing when she was lying as she looked away from him. "You're avoiding me."

She scoffed then, trying to keep her voice down as Ed folded his arms over his chest, crumpling the blue shirt he wore as he wandered further into the room.

"You're one to talk," she hissed at him, not entirely certain if she wanted this conversation at that moment in time. "You've been avoiding me, Ed. You haven't even called me or wanted to spend time with me."

"I'm sorry," he said and Olivia's eyes widened. She thought that he might try to deny it, but he wasn't. "But…Kristen…well…she was jealous of us."

"We're friends, Ed," Olivia said to him.

"She thought that there was something else going on. She thought that I…well…wanted more than friendship and she was not wrong," he said to her. "And the more I thought about calling you or trying to see you, the harder it became and before I knew it we were just distanced…because I knew that if I saw you then it would ruin everything with Kristen."

"Because she is jealous?"

"Because she isn't the one I want," Ed interrupted her, shifting from one foot to the other as he did his best not to look too anxious. Picking his gaze up, he let it move to settle on her. "Because I knew that if I saw you then this fantasy I built up in my head of being with Kristen would crumble, because that is all it ever was before you came along…a fantasy…and I've realised that living in a fantasy is not the same as living in the real world, not when you're in the real world."

Olivia said nothing, feeling her breath begin taken away by his words. She didn't know how to respond. She couldn't respond. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Ed looked at her as she closed her eyes and spoke, blurting out the truth before she became too afraid.

"I was jealous," she admitted to him, looking him in the eye finally as he adjusted his glasses. "The idea of you spending time with Kristen upset me, but it made me jealous because I want to be the one who is with you…I want what we have…had…"

"But you said that you weren't ready for a relationship."

"And that is why that makes me feel so selfish," she said to him, "because I told you not to wait for me. I didn't want you to wait for me. I wanted you to be happy."

"But I told you that I would be happy to wait for you," Ed protested to her. "What are we doing, Olivia? Why are we doing this?"

"Because of me," she said. "Because I am convinced that I don't deserve a happy relationship. I have dated people who have hurt me and I know that you would not do that to me, but that doesn't mean that something won't happen…that something won't go wrong and I like you too much to hurt you."

"You cannot live in fear, Olivia," Ed said to her, a hand moving to rest on top of hers for a moment as she dropped her book off to the side. "We could be happy if you just let us be happy. We could be together…just say the word…"

Ed let his fingers link into hers and she did her best to keep her breathing steady as she moved a hand to his shoulder, her fingers resting there. Looking to him, she let her eyes linger along his sharp jawline and up to his eyes again.

"Your girlfriend is sat right out there," she reminded him.

"I know," Ed whispered back to her.

"You should go back to her."

"I know," Ed repeated. "But the issue is that I have spent an hour out there faking how I feel…sitting here…with you…it's the happiest I have felt since I entered this apartment."

He moved his free hand to her cheek then, brushing her hair away from her face and tucking it behind her ear. He bent down then, his lips pressing to hers as he felt her hands run down his shoulders to hold his upper arms. He moved his hand from her cheek to the back of her head, cupping it gently in his large palm.

"Liv, have you seen Ed…Lee wants to serve…"

Jim's voice trailed off as he entered the guest bedroom and his eyes widened at the sight he was seeing. He remained stood where he was. Olivia pulled back from Ed quickly, her hands dropping his arms as he let go of her and jumped to his feet, hands raking through his hair.

"I should go," Ed said and made his excuses, sweeping from the room as Jim stood to the side and let him go.

Olivia remained settled on the bed and watched him go. Jim did the same before turning his eyes back to his sister, hands moving to his hips.

"What are you playing at?" Jim hissed at his sister, stepping further into the room and closing the door as he made the motion.

"It just happened," Olivia said, making her excuse as she shrugged.

"You make my life so difficult," Jim complained to his sister. "I have to go out there and pretend I didn't see anything. Why did you do this?"

"It wasn't just me," Olivia said to him, voice a hiss back to her brother. "Ed kissed me back."

"And why could you not do this another time?" he demanded from her. "Why could you not do this when we weren't in the middle of dinner? His girlfriend is sat out there, Liv, and I know that you don't like her and clearly Ed isn't that keen judging by the performance I just witnessed, but that is not the point. The point is that she is sat out there and regardless of everything it isn't nice that her boyfriend is in here kissing another girl."

"I get it," Olivia said, holding her hands up.

"You've had time to decide if you wanted to be with Ed. He made his feelings clear, Liv, and you pushed him away. Now you decide all of a sudden that you want him?"

"I know," Olivia said. "I know how it looks."

"It looks pretty selfish, Olivia," Jim said and she felt his words sting as he told her. "It looks like you're toying with his emotions."

"I don't mean to."

"Then don't," Jim said. "Because you'll both end up hurt if this carries on."

Jim moved from the room then and Olivia laid down, flopping onto her back and placing her hands over her eyes. She had no idea what to do now.

….

A/N: Do let me know what you think!