Hey Dad

Summary: All Liam ever wanted was to be approved of by his father. As Angelus, he killed his father and was never able to be told he was accepted. Now, Angel regrets that he killed his father and writes a letter. (And some)

Hey dad,

This time things are going to be different. When I see you next, I hope you can forgive me. I am sorry for everything dad; everything I never apologised for.

I'm sorry that I was such a failure to you, such a disappointment. I regret that I never made you proud of me, proud to say that I was your son.

The day I died, what did you do? Were you sorry? Did you miss me? To tell you the truth dad, I never even thought of you. I rose the night of my funeral, out of my grave. I became a vampire that night dad, and the first thing I did was come to kill you.

Do you know why? It was because you never had any faith in me to do well. You always said that I'd never amount to anything, and because of that I aimed to be nothing more. I did everything that a nobody does; drink, whore about and be a general waste of space. And yet, you still weren't pleased.

What does it take dad? What will it take for you to just be proud of me, for only once? Do I have to die for you to understand how this makes me feel? Must I come and tell you myself?

Dad, by Christ's name I swear that all I ever tried to do was what you wanted, what you told me to do. And I couldn't please you; make you happy and proud of me. I hate that I was never good enough for you.

And mum and Kathy had to pay the price because of what you did to me. If you had only been proud of me once and said that I was good, then I never would have become a vampire in the first place. I never would have killed Kathy, mum and then you. I never would have had to do any of the things I've done for the past 200 years, because I would have been a better person. I'd be dead right now, lying in my grave in a cemetery somewhere in Galway. Maybe my grave then would still be my grave now.

But dad, I don't hold a grudge against you anymore. My soul has now made me a better person than you ever could have, and because of that I am much better off. I have people around me who love me and want to help me help the world. That's my crusade now dad, and I hate that you're not a part of it.

Maybe one day we'll meet again, but don't expect to see me in Heaven. That's one place I won't be going. As much as I try, I won't ever get there. None of this is worth it; it's just helping the people that need it the most.

But dad, I'll say it again; I don't hold this against you. I think that it is your fault I'm like this, but I can't bring myself to say it to you. I'm wary of the fact that by saying that to you I will hurt you, and I don't want to do that.

See, I am different now. Please, I beg of you, just say to me once that you are proud. Just once, is all I am asking. Again dad I say to you that I am sorry. Forgive me father, for I have sinned.

Angel

Author's Note: That's probably going to be the last chapter, unless people want more of the "please dad I'm sorry can you forgive me" thing that is so damn easy to write. Lol. Well, hope you've enjoyed. Please review and tell me if you want more. :)