Disclaimer: Three guesses who these characters belong to, first two don't count
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Pairing: Roger/April, sort of
Author's notes: I'm not sure I like this very much, but I'm really, really having fun posting on my new account, so here it is.
Kindly keep your flames to yourself.
You were born of loss, you will die from loss. You will die from a broken heart, broken as your father's was. You've always known it wasn't your fault, logically. But you blamed yourself nonetheless. Until you got older, then you blamed them – doctors, nurses, all those in white who didn't save her even though they saved you. Those same doctors that crushed your April, the ones who held in their hands the power to ruin your life forever, to sentence you to death, with one test, one sheet of paper. It's why you've always hated hospitals – more people die there than are saved.
'Complications'. What the hell's a complication, anyway? You'll show them complicated – you want to join her, you want a hit, you want to go back to before this started and try again, and you want to let your friends push you into that rehab center, looming in front of you now, all at once. You know that in there, they wear white all the time, too, and you know that the people in white are murderers.
Irrational? They say you're being irrational? They're just doctors, they want to help you, they're saying. You aren't irrational. Looking at your history, you have more proof of this than most anything else. They're telling you that you will be okay, that this will help you, that you need this… you wish they'd just shut the hell up. They don't understand what it's like to have killed their mother by living, or to have provided the poison that inadvertently killed the only woman they loved.
They don't understand that, without you in the world, many more people much more worthy of life would still be around. Who are you, anyway? Another boy who's bright future choked on the New York smog. They should just let your heart finish shattering and let you join her. Join them, the two most beautiful young women in your life, the two you killed.