Chapter Thirty: Again and Yet Again

At the end of the day, after Haley had been released from the hospital, they were all forced to go home. Bound together by tragedy, the six of them went together to the hotel.

"Why aren't Mom and Daddy here yet?" asked Ryan nervously. She was sitting by herself on the bed with her knees drawn up against her chest. Jake and Peyton were sitting together on a sofa and Haley sat on the ground, leaning against the door. Brooke was in the bathroom throwing up.

"Sweetie, Lucas called them. They were detained in London, remember?" said Haley. Ryan frowned.

"Every time I hope I'll get a different answer. Surprisingly I never do. I wish Leigh was here," said Ryan.

"Is she close to Nathan?" asked Peyton, eyeing the stranger warily.

"No. Not like I am. But she'd want to be here. And she's close to me," said Ryan.

"And your parents took her to London with them?" said Jake.

"I guess. Haley, are you okay?" asked Ryan nervously. Haley looked up.

"I will be, if he is," she said softly.

"Whatever happened to Davis?" asked Ryan in surprise. Haley cocked her head sideways and considered this. Probably the last time Ryan had talked to her brother, he'd still been with Davis, living the life in LA. Of course this was confusing.

"They broke up. I think she left town or something, I haven't been able to reach her," said Peyton, reassuringly squeezing Jake's hand.

"Weird. She tends to cause the drama, not avoid it," said Ryan bitterly. Haley held back a smile.

"So I guess this proves that Davis Ryan can turn pretty much anyone into a bitch," said Brooke, coming in to the room with Lucas.

"How're you doing, kid?" asked Lucas awkwardly, sitting on the bed beside Ryan. She threw her long, shiny hair over her shoulder and turned to him.

"Don't call me kid. And I think I'll be okay," she said. Brooke eyed them sitting awkwardly on the bed together, and recalled the few times she'd seen Nathan and Ryan together.

"So have you two actually met?" she asked, dropping down onto the sofa beside Peyton.

"He's closer to Leigh," said Ryan kindly.

"She's closer to Nathan," said Lucas. Haley nodded understandingly. She was one of seven siblings and was close only to Taylor, who'd been cut off by their parents and disappeared.

"You two look alike, you know," said Brooke.

"But Ryan has Nathan's eyes," said Haley softly.

The next morning she woke up early to go visit Nathan at the hospital. Before his parents or siblings could crowd his room, his almost but not quite girlfriend was at his side, holding his hand, willing him to awaken.

Haley stared into his peaceful pace, listened to his slow, steady breathing. What was it about him? Though she'd never admit to it, he'd broken up the only real relationship she'd ever been. He'd made here hate more powerfully than she'd ever dreamed of, made her want more than she thought possible.

He wasn't nice. He wasn't courteous. He was crude. He was spoiled. Nathan Scott was used to the whole world kissing up to him. Haley knew that she had power over Nathan as much as he had power over her. Was this why? Had her being a petulant bitch during their entire acquaintance caused his fevered desire of her? Or was it just a game?

Intertwining her hand with his, Haley knew she'd give anything to have the answers to these questions.

Ryan arrived next.

"I'm guessing he hasn't woken up yet?" asked the younger blonde from the doorway.

"No. Is everyone here?" she asked.

"No. Lucas is trying to find someone to talk to, but we left Brooke, Peyton and Jake at the hotel," said Ryan slowly.

"Can you go find Luke? I need a moment," said Haley, staring at Nathan.

"Sure," said Ryan softly, running off down the hall.

Haley brought Nathan's hand to her lips and willed him to open his eyes.

"Hey. They say you're going to be fine. Can't you just wake up?" she said.

Nathan didn't move. The beeping of the machine beside him quickly filled the silence.

"I guess you need more than that. I'm here, Nathan. I'm here for you. It's me, Haley. I want to be here for you, Nathan. I always have. Even when I shot you down and yelled at you and called you names, I've always wanted you in my life. I was so afraid you'd go back to LA and I'd never see you again. I wouldn't be able to tell you ever. I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you again, how much I need you. Maybe we communicate better when you're unconscious?" she suggested, laughing gently.

"Okay. Ryan's here too. I don't know how you ended up being such an asshole toward women growing up with her. She's tough. I wouldn't think she'd take it, you know? Like I don't. That's got to stop when we get together. And you've got to move to Providence with me so I won't be lonely. Because I'm not so good at making friends. I used to be, and then I stopped needing to. Brooke made friends and I just kind of existed near them. Really pathetic, now that I think about it."

Haley sighed. How could he be sleeping through this? She brushed a kiss onto his forehead before laying her head on his chest, listening to the reassuring beating of his heart.

"Wake up, Nate. I need you," she begged silently.

Haley was dreaming. Dreaming wishes mixed with nightmares, memories littered with wishful thinkings. She dreamt back to the days of Brooke and Mouth, to the days of Chris and Haley. And forward, to the day of Jake and Peyton, the days of Nathan and Haley.

All these dreams were shattered when she felt a slight pressure on her right hand.

Haley sat up, immediately alert. His eyes didn't open. His heart beat hadn't change. But the faintest flutter of his hand was enough.

"Nathan?" she whispered, her voice sounding foreign even to her own ears. His eyes still didn't open.

"Haley?" he said. She reached and cupped his cheek in her hand.

"Wake up baby," she whispered.

"What happened?" he asked.

"A bullet. They're looking into it. How do you feel? It hit something and you bled a lot and you needed an operation," she explained.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I haven't been able to leave, Nathan. I'm here to say what I wanted to say what I should have said in the car. We've spent too much time "almost" getting there. It's time we got there. I think it's time we gave it a more honest shot. I'm here to try again, Nathan, if you'll try with me," she said. As she spoke, he opened his eyes and she was struck by the cobalt blue, the colour she could never let herself forget.