Hi guys! Sorry I did not do a mid-week post. I have had a touch of writer's block regarding later chapters and I have also been busy in my personal life as well.

Thanks for taking the time to read, review, comment and speculate. It is much appreciated.

Chapter 8

Colin laughed as Mr Winston finished telling the story of how his older brother fell into a pond while trying to catch a duck to impress a lady he was courting. He held a glass of whiskey in his hand, taking the occasional sip.

He had been coming to Mondrich's club more often even since he moved into his own home. He was still finding his new home a little quiet compared to the constant noise of the Bridgerton home.

However, he was also enjoying having Harry in town. He had not many of his former Eton classmates in town for a few years so it was nice to have a catch up and relive old memories, before they had to start being the gentlemen and potential husbands and fathers, they had been raised to be.

As Mr Winston finished his story, Colin noticed that Harry had drained the end of his drink and put his glass down, as if he was about to slip out. "Where do you think you are going Danky?" He asked.

"I um…I was about to head home." Harry replied.

"But the night is still early." Mr Winston protested.

"I have plans in the morning and I need to keep a fresh head." Harry said.

"Let me guess, with Penelope bloody Featherington!" Lord Fyfe scoffed before taking a large gulp of his drink.

Colin could feel his fists curl into a ball. He did not like Lord Fyfe muttering Penelope's name, especially in that tone and it was stirring anger within him.

"Actually yes, we will be going for ice cream." Harry replied, sounding cool and collected.

"Dankworth, the girl does not even have a ring on her finger…why are you so thrashed?" Mr Winston teased.

"She does not have the ring yet…" Harry began to retort. Colin's eyes widened; obviously Harry was planning on making his relationship with Penelope official. "…but if I want the opportunity to be her husband, I need to behave in a manner that shows her I am serious."

"Trust me, that Featherington girl is so desperate you could turn up with a scent of a woman all over you, or even a woman hanging off you and she would still take you." Lord Fyfe joked. "She has no other options!"

Colin stepped forward, ready to use his clenched fist to swing at Lord Fyfe. How dare he demean Penelope's character in such a way!

However, he never got a chance as Harry stepped right into Lord's Fyfe's face. "Lord Fyfe, I think it is you that has not had the options. I have not seen any ladies requesting your company lately…except maybe your expected child's mother…who you pay." Harry hissed. Mr Winston scoffed while Colin's mouth dropped open.

"I…I…" Lord Fyfe tried to find the words to argue back.

"Jealousy is very unbecoming on you Lord Fyfe." Harry stated. "Now, I must leave you gentlemen…and Fyfe. I have a charming, smart and witty lady to impress tomorrow." He walked out of the club.

Colin and Mr Winston put down their glasses and followed him, not desiring the company of Lord Fyfe a moment longer.

Colin's anger was still seething inside him, wondering how Harry had restrained himself not to hit Lord Fyfe because he deserved it…even though Harry's words probably did sting more than any punch. One thing was clear though, Harry was definitely interested in Penelope and it seemed Penelope was going to get her husband much sooner and it would not be Colin.

Penelope walked along the promenade with Lady Danbury. She had been in the town earlier for ice cream with Mr Dankworth when she had bumped into Lady Danbury outside the modiste.

Mr Dankworth had to leave after receiving a message from his aunt and had offered to take Penelope home but Lady Danbury suggested a walk and Penelope agreed. She liked Lady Danbury's company and it would also give her a chance to figure out if Lady Danbury could be linked to Mr Anderson.

As they walked along, Penelope was sure the couples and ladies they passed were looking at them. Penelope gave her mouth a quick wipe and glanced at her dress, wondering if she had spilt ice cream on her dress and Mr Dankworth had been too polite to tell her.

"Are you okay Miss Penelope?" Lady Danbury asked, looking at Penelope out of the side of her eye.

"Well yes but…I think people are looking at us." She quietly replied.

"Oh they are…but not at me." Lady Danbury replied.

"I knew it…I have ice cream on me, do I not?" Penelope fumed, beginning to examine herself.

Lady Danbury began to softly laugh and linked her arm through Penelope's. "My dear girl, I do worry about your innocence." Lady Danbury said. "Even though Lady Whistledown has gone, gossip in this town still exists and my dear you are the centre of it."

"Me?" Penelope exclaimed, beginning to panic inside; had her secret identity finally become unmasked.

"Yes…the whole ton is a buzz that you are going to marry the future Lord of Bedfordshire, Mr Dankworth." Lady Danbury continued.

"I…we are only courting." Penelope stuttered. "There has been no discussion…no proposal…no need for speculation." She really did not need the whole town speculating about her relationship with Harry, especially as she was still waiting for him to realise she was not pretty or feminine enough to meet the needs of his stature.

"It is only a matter of time…the boy is clearly smitten." Lady Danbury said. "And I hope you are too Miss Penelope."

"I am very fond of him." Penelope replied. "I know he may not be the brightest intellectual but he is very kind, caring and he is smart in other ways and he does make me feel special."

"Good…you deserve that recognition." Lady Danbury said. "A love match is the dream but it does not make marriage any easier, especially when married to a Lord who is responsible for a whole county."

"I am worried." Penelope softly said. "As much as my mother has been preparing me to be a lady of a household, a happy marriage is still…" She trailed off. Although most of the town knew her parents was a marriage of convenience, she did not want to speak the words.

"My child, even in a happy marriage there can still be moments of strife." Lady Danbury stated. "I loved Lord Danbury and he loved me…but marriage is not just about love. I carried four children…and I loved and lost each one, never producing the elusive heir."

"Lady Danbury, I am so sorry that you had to suffer that pain." Penelope softly said, looking up at Lady Danbury.

Lady Danbury patted Penelope's hand. "It is okay because when he comes of age, my nephew Matthew will take the title of Lord and I know he will look after me." Lady Danbury said, clearly trying not to give into the emotions she was feeling. "But my failures did strain us…and Lord Danbury had his faults and if society had been different maybe he would have had his heir…"

Penelope's eyes widened as Lady Danbury trailed off, realising she may have said too much. Was it possible that Lord Danbury could have fathered Marcus and Lady Danbury had tried to ensure Marcus' future?

"I just want you to go into marriage with your eyes open Miss Penelope." Lady Danbury said, trying to get the discussion back on track. "You are smart, probably too smart for the ton and deserve to know what to expect before any proposals."

"Thank you, Lady Danbury, I appreciate your honesty." Penelope replied, her mind still trying to process the last few moments of their conversation.

"You have good, sturdy hips Miss Penelope." Lady Danbury said, patting her hand again. "You will more than likely be okay."

Penelope sat in her usual chair in Colin's parlour, his journal in her hands. Colin sat in his usual chair opposite her, sipping tea and reading the newspaper. There was a plate of macarons in front of them untouched.

Penelope had re-read the same paragraph of Colin's journal four times but the words were not entering her conscience; she was too distracted. She had been ever since her discussion with Lady Danbury.

Marriage had always seemed so simple; her parents had made it work and they did not even like each other but Penelope was growing fonder of Harry by the day and she knew it could easily turn to love but she still had so many worries and questions.

She knew her mother would give her the talk before she was due to get married but how would she know what to do? How would she know if she was even good enough? Finally, she gave up on reading the journal and sat the book down on the coffee table, catching Colin's attention.

He peered out from behind his paper, his eyes questioning her. "Have you completed the journal already?" He asked. "Was my latest entry not satisfactory?"

"Colin, why am I here?" She asked.

"Well I thought you were reading my journal but…" Colin replied.

"No…well yes but these meetings, you are meant to be trying to help me learn the ways to please my husband, are you not?" She queried.

Colin folded up his paper and sat it down, looking puzzled. "I am sorry Pen, I thought you liked your afternoons here…" He began. "…if you do not feel you need to come over then…

"No I do…enjoy being here, I am normally quite at ease." Penelope replied.

"But not this afternoon?" Colin asked.

"Colin, I still think I have lessons to learn." Penelope replied.

"Like what?" Colin asked, leaning forward in his chair. "Pen, Harry…Mr Dankworth is courting you and he is smitten."

"But I do not know what to do after the gentleman is smitten." Penelope asked. "I do not even know how to kiss." She watched as Colin's eyes widened and he began to blush.

"Well Pen, a true lady does not normally kiss until she is betrothed." Colin replied.

"But as a gentleman you have kissed other ladies…" She stated. "…have you not?"

"Pen… He stuttered as he rubbed his fingers through his hair in a nervous fidget. "…it is different for men. And I would not say I have kissed true ladies…" He had not, not really. He had only kissed a few women and they were not ladies he would consider courting or marrying.

He remembered when he came of age, Anthony took him to a brothel, saying their father had done the same for him. A man needed to learn how to please a woman and sow his wild oats before settling down. Colin had learnt a lot that night but he also could not look at his mother or any of his sisters in the eye for a good few weeks after.

Colin had a reputation for charming and flirting with a lot of the ladies during the seasons but he was a gentleman, he would never compromise them. Even when Marina had tried, inside he could not allow it. He was not a rake like his older brothers.

And when on his travels, there had been one girl in Italy; he was homesick and she seemed so familiar so he kissed her. Now he realised that girl had red hair and blue eyes; she was familiar because she had reminded him of Penelope.

"But what if I am not good at kissing?" Penelope pressed, returning Colin to his current thoughts.

Colin got off his chair and walked towards the window. "I am sure you will be." He replied.

"Colin, you promised to help me to be exactly what a man wants in a wife." Penelope pleaded, getting off the chair and walking towards him.

"What am I meant to do Pen?" He asked, exasperated. "Do you expect me to teach you how to kiss?" He spun around to find her standing before him. Her eyes were so soft and vulnerable, pleading with him.

"Yes…I think so." She softly replied.

He watched as the words escaped her mouth. He had not noticed her full, soft and luscious pink lips before and now they were all he could picture in his mind. "Pen I…" He sighed; he could not do this; it would get messy and someone would end up hurt; more than likely him.

"Colin, I know you find me undesirable…" She began to say and when he heard those words, he knew there was nothing further from the truth, especially at this moment. He stepped towards her, cupping her face in his hands and pressed his lips against hers, silencing her.

He waited for her body to relax in his hold but her body tensed and her arms hung by her side while her lips remained firmly closed, in shock and fear. He slowly pulled away and looked down at her, her eyes slowly opening as she realised he was no longer pressed against her lips.

"Why did you stop?" She asked. "Was I bad?"

"Not bad…" He trailed off, her mouth tempting him again. "Pen, do not be afraid to touch me, to kiss back…" She nodded, following his advice. "…and do not be afraid to let my tongue in your mou…"

"Your tongue! In my mouth?" She exclaimed, her eyes widening at such a thought.

He instinctively took hold of her hand and rubbed his thumb over it as he gave a soft laugh. "Oh my sweet, innocent Pen." He sighed.

"Forget it!" Penelope snapped, pulling her hand out of hold. "I do not want to be your joke!" She began to walk away but Colin quickly reached out, took hold of her arm and spun her around to face him again.

"I am sorry Pen, trust me…you are no joke." He apologised. "I am ready to try this again…if you are?"

She looked at him, his eyes were so apologetic and kind. She nodded and stepped towards him. She let Colin place her hands on top of his shoulders and then he lightly placed his hands on her hips. He leaned into her, his eyes seeking permission and she gave a small nod before he softly pressed his lips against hers.

This time, her body slowly responded to his touch as her lips moved against his, her fingers gently gripping his shirt. His own fingers gripped her hips a little tighter, gradually pulling her body towards him.

He felt her fingers begin the soft trail towards the nape of his neck and his hands began to slip from her hips to the small of her back, pressing her body against his. His tongue softly flicked against her lips and they parted, letting him have access.

Her fingers began to gently tug on the curls on the nape of his neck while his hands began to travel up her back. He could feel the full length of her against him and she felt good; too good! He could feel himself getting hard against her stomach as she moaned against his lips.

He pulled away, quickly spinning around to face the fireplace, his mind desperately trying to think of all the things that disgust him; tea leaves at the bottom of cup, the pulp of a tomato…anything to get mind away from her womanly curves and soft, luscious lips.

"Colin?" She asked and Colin could hear the confusion in her voice. "Is everything okay?"

"Uh huh…yes" He replied, still not turning to face her. "I um…I think we should stop there…it um, the lesson is over." He walked out of the room; to sort himself out. He could not face her like this; she was practically engaged to his friend. He had missed his opportunity.

Penelope watched him leave, confused. She thought their second attempt was much better but had she disgusted him so much that he could not even look at her? She could feel her eyes beginning to fill with tears but she was determined not to let them spill here, in his home. She quickly made her exit, leaving an empty room for Colin to find a few moments later on his return.

Penelope sat on the sofa in her front parlour, her eyes feeling heavy as she tried to focus on the book in her hands but it was a losing battle, she was too tired. She did not get much sleep the night before.

Every time she tried to close her eyes, Colin's face appeared before her and then she could feel his lips against her and she would feel a warm heat between her thighs in her intimate area. She did not want to feel like this. She wanted to think of Harry when she fell asleep and recently she had been…until last night.

She was only starting to believe that Harry could genuinely care for her, be attracted to her and then that one moment, that one kiss, that one rejection with Colin, confirmed what she knew…she was undesirable, especially to Colin Bridgerton.

"Penelope, you look disastrous." Her mother said as she sat down beside her. "What will we do if Mr Dankworth calls? He can not see you like that."

"I am sorry mama but I could not sleep." Penelope replied, forcing a smile. Her mother's criticisms had to return at some point; but she was really not in the mood to listen to them this morning.

"Oh darling…are you nervous about his proposal?" Portia asked, tapping Penelope's hands.

"Yes…I am." Penelope lied. She could hardly tell her mother she did not sleep because she was getting hot and bothered in her mind about Colin Bridgerton when he was repulsed by her.

"It will come, I am sure of it." Portia tried to reassure her daughter. "But just in case he does call this morning, I will ask Mrs Varley to prep some cold spoons for your eyes."

"Thank you, mama." Penelope muttered as Portia got up and pulled open the parlour door to call Mrs Varley only to find Mrs Varley was about to knock to enter the room.

"Mrs Varley, has Mr Dankworth called?" Portia asked. "Because if he has, tell him to wait…we need cold spoons quickly for Penelope…she is not presentable."

"No, Mr Dankworth has not called but his servant did leave this note for Miss Penelope." Mrs Varley replied.

Penelope got up from the sofa and walked towards Mrs Varley to get the note while Portia Featherington watched apprehensively as Penelope returned to the sofa to read the note.

"It may be a proposal?" Portia suggested. "Granted, normally a written proposal only occurs if the man and lady are not in the same town but…"

Penelope was not listening to her mother's nervous ramblings as she read his note. Once she finished reading the note, she turned to her mother and Mrs Varley. "Do not worry about the spoons Mrs Varley, they will not be needed." She said.

"Why ever not?" Portia queried, her voice squeaking a little. "Surely he is going to visit."

"Not for a week or two." Penelope replied. "He has had to go back to the country to his uncle. He has some business to sort out. He hopes to explain all when he returns."

"What? He cannot have left town?" Portia exclaimed, snatching the note from Penelope's fingers.

"I think I need to lie down." Penelope muttered, walking past her mother and heading out of the room, to go straight up stairs to her room. She deserved this; she had dreamt of the happy ending and of course she was not going to get it; she was Penelope Featherington and happy ending did not exist for undesirables like her.

Penelope stood at the refreshment table at Lady Denby's garden party. She really did not want to be there but her mother insisted they come and show their faces. Penelope however, was sure the whole of the ton was talking about the fact Mr Dankworth had left town without a proposal. She had been publicly rejected.

Thankfully, Eloise was being a loyal friend and was not leaving her side and would join her in the walks around the gardens, avoiding the other partygoers. In reality, Penelope was avoiding Colin. She had seen him trying to approach her on a few occasions and really did not want to hear his feeble excuses for his behaviour at his home after their kissing lesson.

"Penelope, I am sure the proposal will come when Mr Dankworth returns." Eloise reassured her. "He probably had to return to his uncle to sort out the proposal and all the details of where you will both live and his income while he is waiting for inheritance."

"Lady Danbury suggested that too." Penelope sighed, her finger tracing the rim of her glass in her hand.

"Well, if Lady Danbury suggested it, it is more than likely what is happening." Eloise stated. "She is quite wise."

"Or maybe his aunt and uncle have talked him out of proposing and he has left town, hoping his absence will tell me what his words cannot." Penelope retorted. "I mean, why would his aunt and uncle let him marry me? I am a Featherington and I have no dowry."

"I do wish you would let me get Colin." Eloise said. "He has asked me a few times if I have seen you…maybe he knows something about Mr Dankworth that can reassure you."

"I think not Eloise." Penelope quickly rebuffed.

Eloise was about to speak again when the host, Lady Denby appeared on the balcony, alongside Lord Debling and Cressida Cowper and chimed her glass, getting the partygoers attention.

"Ugh…what could Cressida Cowper want now?" Eloise muttered as Lady Denby announced that Miss Cowper had an announcement to make. "It is never pleasant with Cressida."

Penelope sssshhhhed her friend, wanting to know what Cressida and Lord Debling had to share. But as Cressida began to speak, Penelope felt nausea build within her; not believing what she was hearing from Cressida Cowper's lips; her world beginning to spin.

She watched as Eloise's mouth dropped open wide, also not believing what she was hearing. Did Cressida Cowper not only just announce her engagement to Lord Debling but also claim to be Lady Whistledown?

All the partygoers that were once silent listening to the announcement, were now buzzing with disbelief, then celebrations.

Penelope could feel Eloise tightly gripping her arm as she turned to look at Eloise. "Is she trying to claim Lady Whistledown?" Eloise hissed.

"Eloise, please do not react. Someone could be watching." Penelope replied through her forced smile, even though the anger was building up within her.

"I cannot believe the town's reaction. I was sure it would be the ruin of you but they are cheering and praising her." Eloise grunted. "She has stolen your purpose…your achievement…your praise."

"I…I can fix this." Penelope muttered, her mind still struggling to process the scene in front of her.

"How?" Eloise queried.

"I am not sure yet…but I will think of something." Penelope replied. "I have already lost Mr Dankworth, I will not give up Lady Whistledown without a fight."

To be continued…if you want me to!

Please comment, speculate and review! Thanks!