Chapter Thirty-Two: I Won't Let Go At Any Price
Only mild disgust with herself propelled Haley to go into work the next morning. She was mostly inclined to stay in bed all day and wallow in self-pity.
Brooke couldn't have had worse timing to move. When a girl is rejected, she needs nothing more than her best friend's shoulder to cry on, her best friend's helpful hands to help with the burning of photographs. But Haley couldn't bring herself to burn the photographs.
Because deep down, she couldn't make herself believe that it was truly over.
Nathan plagued her all day at work.
He was such an ass sometimes. He didn't deserve her obsession.
"Stop wiggling. I'm not going to hurt you. It takes the fun out of it. I'm just letting you now that you're not going to play me. No one does. But that doesn't mean we can't play."
"Most guys have a problem with being a boy-toy without the benefits."
"There are lots of rooms. But of course, all that only matters until you move into my room."
"You don't have to be so high on yourself, little girl."
"Woman, has anyone ever scolded you in your entire life?"
"What, you're saying you don't remember?"
"Bit high on yourself?"
Never before had she felt as demeaned, as cheap as Nathan had made her feel in the last month. Never before had she felt so desperately wanted.
She still didn't know if she could trust him. If all his passionate relationship talk was really anything more than talk. Could he really be trusted to keep his hands off Davis? Off every other girl? Haley was almost certain she'd caught him glancing in Peyton's direction a few days ago.
Briefly she recalled his smile. His wide, beautiful smile that never failed to make her smile in return. His blue eyes, his chest without his shirt, his voice, his cocky smirk. It was all part of the Nathan package, he would never be Nathan if he didn't have all of it, down to the irritating lift in his voice when he knew he'd won.
"Haley? Nathan's better, why aren't you down there?" asked Peyton in surprise, coming into the café, Haley's workplace, in the middle of the day. Haley looked up and scowled. "Oh."
Haley looked intently at a table she was wiping down, attempting to block out her friend's presence.
"So you're going to torture him for a little while longer before giving him another chance?" asked Peyton.
"No. I'm giving up on him. Know of anyone single?" she asked, moving on to another table.
"Oh, you're in such denial…" said Peyton.
"Of what?" demanded Haley.
"Hales, you're in love with him."
"No I'm not. And like you're the expert. Jake's been in love with you since the fifth grade and you didn't even register his existence until last week. He's broken his heart a thousand times over you and you've taken him for granted," said Haley.
"Okay, I deserve that. But we're together now. And it's great. And you know that you and Nathan would be great, Haley. We've all known it since you jetted off to LA with him. And came back with that hickey that you've never talked about. Is he a good kisser?" she asked eagerly. Haley frowned at the memory.
"He never actually kissed me. Just gave me the hickey. This is all irrelevant, Peyton. He doesn't want me anymore."
Peyton left. After all, there was only so much a girl could be expected to do.
Haley had hoped that her abysmal performance would cause her boss to let her go early, but she had no such luck. Her employer left early, leaving Haley to shut down the café.
Dismally she wiped down the rest of the tables and put up the chairs, imagining an entire summer of doing the same thing. Or, a summer half. Time was passing. It would slip by her soon.
Haley looked up in fear when the door to the café was banged open loudly. But her heart rate didn't still when she saw who it was.
"Nathan? What are you doing here?" asked Haley as he entered the café, oblivious to the "Closed" sign on the door.
"I'm just here to tell you I've done hiding," he said.
"What?" she asked, her voice shaky.
"You're the one, Haley. I know that. I think I've always known it. And even though you're too young for me, too innocent for me and definitely too good for me, I'm going to stop fighting it. In fact, I'm going to start fighting for it," said Nathan.
"What about Davis?"
"Davis has never been a part of this. It's always been us, Haley. And Chris, who you're only holding on to because of memories. Let go," he said.
Haley paused, caught between his declaration of desire and his put down of Chris.
"I hate you," she said at last. Nathan smirked self knowingly.
"You love me," he countered. Haley paused again, for a second that was an eternity.
"You know I think that what it all comes down to is that they're pretty much the same emotion," she said shakily.
Nathan grabbed her unwillingly shoulders and pulled her toward him in one swift movement.
"I'm not giving up. And I always get my way," he said, before crushing his lips onto hers.
Even after his speech, Nathan had been fairly sure that she'd resist, at least once more. But finally, they fit. Fit perfectly. His intense grip on her shoulders fell to a light one at her waist while their passionate kiss deepened. As she wove her arms around his neck, he lifted her slightly until their lips were at the same height.
Nothing in Haley's life had been in preparation for this. Nothing she'd ever experienced had warned her of what love could be like. Or whatever it was that they shared. Was it love? Was it lust? Was it merely coincidence?
Whatever it was, it was heaven to both of them.