The Adventures of a Homosexual Draco

'Draco Lucius Malfoy! Come downstairs AT ONCE!' His mother's voiced boomed around the house, magically enhanced.

'Yes, Mother?' Draco looked down at her, changing his eyes to form wide, appealing…

'Don't you puppy eyes me! You don't think I know what you did? Well, trust me, my son; I know that you know that I know about what you know you did!' Her glare was blinding.

'And, what… did I do Mother dearest, darling of my heart, keeper of my soul, my mother, my protector, my…'

'You do realize how many times you've done that to me now… next you're going to pretend to be truly sorry, aren't you?...'

Shit.

'…hmm, let, me, think. When you stole Lucius' broom, when you fell down the stairs and ripped up you robes, when you messed up your hair and blamed me for brushing past you, when you…'

'Yes, yes I get the point, Mother. What do you want?'

'WHY were you in MY rooms trying on MY dress-robes! What WERE you DOING! Tell me, TELL ME!'

'I, was, well, um, I was, just…'

'NOW, you blabbering idiot! Did I say in 5 minutes! NO! I said NOW!'

'Mother, you must understand….'

'I am in NO mood for UNDERSTANDING! Explain yourself!'

'I have been meaning to tell you something… Mother, I…'

'Spit it out, boy!'

'FINE! I'm GAY! HOMOSEXUAL! BI! WHATEVER! I. AM. GAY! Do you understand me, DO YOU? Huh? Huh-huh?'

'Finally, Draco dear. Honestly, that took you a long time to figure out.'

……………..wtf?

'B-b-but… What? You're not going to disown me, or torture me, or shout at me even?'

'Of course not darling, I have known for a long time. I mean, at the age of 3 you were playing with barbies more than you were with brooms. You learnt how to apply lipstick properly when you were 4. You could pout before you could talk, for Merlin's sake!'

'I could!'

'Yes, no need to flaunt it, especially to your father.'

'So, he doesn't know? He wouldn't care if you don't care.'

'Oh, I care alright; he never did spend enough time with you. He's on a little assignment for the Big-V. He'll be back in a few days. It would be, better, if you weren't here when I break the news.'

Both were deep in thought…

'I suppose I could go back to Hogwarts…' Oh yes… plenty of cute guys there. Especially that hot Harry Potter… Now is not the time for this! But he has got the best arse, if I say so myself. Apart from mine of course. I wonder what he does to get it like that. Maybe it's all the Quidditch… Not the time! NOT THE TIME!

'That's a great idea! I was thinking that actually. ENLEY!' A little house-elf scurried into the room. 'Pack Draco's trunk for school.'

'Yes, missus!' The squeaky voice made their ears ache.

'Now, Draco, darling. Tell me about your love-life…'

'WHAT!'

'Draco, you look a bit… different.' Draco scowled at the towel clad Blaise as he entered the dorm. He couldn't help but notice how defined Blaise's muscles had become.

SHUT UP! Blaise Zabini? I can do better than that! Surely. Like that Harry Potter. Mmmmm, yes. He would be one nice catch.

'Draco… I was just thinking, there's this spell I looked up that makes you look better…'

'Better? Than I am already! Oh Blaise...' He was laughing silently at his friend's foolishness. 'It's practically impossible! I mean, seen yourself in a mirror recently. You mean to say that, I, moi, Draco Malfoy, the best-looking boy in the school, need to get a makeover? Please, don't embarrass yourself more.' Draco then turned back to the mirror and gave himself a once over. It was true that he looked a bit… different, but that was all for Pott… Harry. Harry was always a bit unkempt, a bit rugged. So Draco started going for the same look… It wasn't going very well.

'Draco, I know you that you're trying a different look, I saw it in the Warlock's Men's Fashion Magazine. Rugged is the new cool for the summer, I know that, but it just really doesn't suit you.'

'AND why-ever not! Hmmm? I'm wai-ting. Nothing good to say? Then don't say anything at all!' Just stand there looking gorgeous for a while so I can gawp.

'I'm just going to… go now. He..he… Bye!'

Blaise Zabini left in what some would call a hurry, in what some would call a sprint.