Song is the radio edit from the O Brother, Where Art Thou soundtrack

Chapter 4 Man Of Constant Sorrow

It was a long drive. Just as long as Percy remembered.

He took off down the highway, the frigid wind whipping at his form as they sped down the highway. He felt Nico's grip tighten across his chest and Percy let out a sigh, taking his hands of the handles of the bike for a second as he pulled his gloves out of his pockets and stuck them in Nico's hands.

Nico mumbled a thanks into Percy's back as he slipped the gloves over his frigid fingers and Percy cranked the accelerator, picking up their speed.

The road went on. On and on out of town as they road. It wasn't a long drive, but it felt like one. The road kept changing, breaking down, de-modernizing as they rode. The first thing to go was the paving, giving was for a smooth, dusty dirt road that was smooth, bt slippery enough to warrant Percy slowing his bike.

The next thing to go was the streetlights, stopping at some point and making Percy flick on his high beams as he kept on the path.

After that were the signs, until the two of them were just riding down a blank dirt road into oblivion. It was almost poetic, like something out of a movie.

A tragedy, a voice in his mind said, but he pushed it aside as a home came into view.

It was a farmhouse, and just about the epitome of that description. A simple, two story, lumber frame, farmhouse. It had lumber shake shingles, lumber siding, and a porch that wrapped around the building. The walls were painted a soft red color, faded to a shade of orange from years in the sun, and the windows were dark, all but the one right next to the door.

She was still awake, Percy though to himself as a sad smile drew across his face, probably painting.

He came to a stop outside the home, kicking his bike stand out as he sat on his Harley, staring at the building in front of him, his eyes glazing over as memories flooded his head.

Nico slid off the bike, taking off Percy's helmet as he stared up at the old building.

"Uh, Percy..." He said, handing the gloves back to him, "... where are we?"

Percy let out a sigh as he stood off the bike, pocketing his gloves as he clapped his hand on Nico's shoulder.

"For you, Nico?" He turned to the boy, a small smile grazing his lips, "...Home."

The boy looked up at Percy, a slight look of confusion on his face.

"That's real poetic, Percy." The boy said, ruffling his hair to free it from the bowl Percy's helmet had left it in, "But really, where are we? For you?"

The smile fell from Percy's face as he turned back to the homestead.

"Don't worry about it."

Nico worried about it, but didn't say anything as Percy led him towards the house.

It was weird for Percy. Too weird. Not just seeing the house, but... seeing it like this. Old when he was still young, aged when he'd stayed the same, it made him feel wrong, much more so than Dionysus' place had. It was a reminder, a reminder that this life he was living was wrong, and that it probably would never be right.

It reminded him of that extra hard when the third step on the stairs creaked.

Just like it had 50 years ago.

Percy shook the thoughts from his head as he kept walking up the steps. He walked up to the door, staring at the numbers that hung on the door

3141

Percy couldn't help but swallow as he knocked on the door, tapping a familiar little tone that he knew she'd recognize. She evidently did, as he watched a form stand up behind the drapes and move towards the door. After a bit of fumbling with the locks the door swung open, and there she was.

She looked alright. Those were the first words that flowed through Percy's mind as he looked at her, she looked alright, just about as alright as anyone could hope to at 69. Her body was still slim and firm, a farm girls through and through as she stood there in her denim and her buttoned up, tucked in flannel.

Her face was the same as it had always been. Sure there were wrinkles, and crows feet, and a tiny scar on her left cheek from when a rooster had gotten feisty, but it was still the same face. Same green eyes too, though her hair had grayed out over the years.

There were still streaks, though. Of that fire red hair Percy remembered.

She stared at Percy, a look of many thoughts passing over her eyes, before she brought her hands up to her hips and gave him a slight pouty frown.

"What're you doing here, Perce?"

He caught his jaw and closed it back up before he swallowed and clapped a hand on the kids shoulder.

"Well... this is my friend, Nico." He said, "He's uh... he's got nowhere to go."

Nico let out a soft sigh next to him as his gaze dropped a bit, "Thanks, Percy..."

Percy clenched his jaw a bit as he tried to force a smile, and then force a lie right along with it.

"Nico, this is Rachel, my..." He paused, looking her in the eye so she'd follow his lead, "...aunt."

She was silent for a second, a painfully long second, before a smile spread over her cheeks. She stepped up to the two of them, her old but young movements hypnotizing the both of them as she approached Nico, plopping her hands on his shoulders.

"So you need a place to stay?" She asked him, in a tone that really sent an intimidated shiver down Nico's spine.

"Uh, yeah..." He mumbled, she shook her head.

"Then you're welcome here."

The boys head snapped back up, looking Rachel dead in the eye as a look of slight shock spread over his face.

"Are... are you serious?" He asked, looking back and forth between Rachel and Percy as his mouth hung open.

Rachel gave him a soft gentle smile.

"If you're a friend of Percy's then you're welcome here, kiddo." She let her eyes squint a bit as she leaned in to him, "That being said. No slackers on the Dare ranch. You wanna stay? You gotta work."

Nico swallowed as he took a slight step back, before he composed himself and firmed his stance.

"I'll do whatever I have to."

Rachel held her gaze for a moment, before it softened and she gave nico a pat on the shoulder.

"You've got grit, kid. I'll give you that." She put her hands on her hips, jerking her head upwards, "Top floor. Last door on the left. Got a bed and everything."

Nico let out a smile and went to walk past her, before her hand shot out and stopped him.

"We're up at five."

Nico's jaw fell a bit as minor terror shot across his face.

"Five?"

Rachel shrugged with a smile, "You hear the rooster, you wake up. That's the rule."

Nick let his shoulders sag a bit as he jogged into the house and up the stairs.

The second he was out of sight a look of sadness crept across Rachel's face. She turned back to Percy, who had his hands buried in his pockets and his gaze buried in the dirt, trying his best not to let his eyes flick up to her for as long as he could, becaus he just knew...

He knew this was gonna hurt.

"So..." Rachel began, finally getting him to snap his eyes back upwards.

"So." He answered.

"So... What're you doing here, Percy." She asked, drawing her hands back up to her hips.

Percy cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his neck as he rushed out an explanation.

"Well, the kid was at the bar, and he didn't really have anywhere to go, and I couldn't just leave him in town, not with the clan around, and-"

"Percy." She said, her voice vetting through his spiel like a knife through butter. He closed his eyes as she spoke, his mouth snapping shut and his head dipping slightly as he knew what she was gonna say.

"Why are you here?"

He felt himself take a deep breath, preparing himself for the conversation he knew he was going to have. He opened his eyes, flicking his gaze up to her, as he pulled dhis hands out of his pockets.

"I..." He closed his mouth, blinking a few times to compose himself, "I missed you, Rach. I missed home."

Rachel let out a soft sigh as her own gaze fell to the dirt, "And I'm guessing... she let you do it?" She said, her voice souring at the word.

He let out a grim nod, "I convinced her."

Rachel sighed, "Yeah, I saw on the news about Alaska." Her eyes closed as she shook her head, "It was a massacre, Percy..."

Percy let a scowl pull over his lips, "That's Luke for you." He said in a dark tone.

"Percy..." Rachel said, her eyes flicking up to his, "It was an elementary school..."

Percy's eyes met hers again, "Yeah. That's Luke for you. He needs to... let it out, every decade or so. Normally he calms down a bit after..." His scowl fell a bit, "That's why I wanted to come here."

Rachel sighed, running a hand through her hair as a few too many thoughts piled in her brain.

"I remember you telling her it was once every sixty years, Percy."

The young man shrugged, repeating his earlier statement, "I convinced her."

Rachel let her eyes snap up to his with a frown, "Oh, lemme guess how..."

Percy sighed out of his nose as his gaze fell, his hands going back in his pockets.

"Yeah."

All he said was the one word, but Rachel knew. She took a step towards him, clutching her hands across her chest as she approached.

"Percy..." She began, her tone low as words pulled themselves out of her "... I hope you didn't come back for me."

He let his eyes snap up to her as he gave a small shrug, "A little. Can't lie and say I didn't miss you, now can I?"

Rachel shook her head, "I hope you just missed me Percy, not us."

He copied her movement, shaking his head all the same. "There was never an us, Rachel." He said, in a tone not meant to hurt, just be honest.

"I was a stupid boy in love, that's all. You didn't feel the same."

She shook her head again, a sad expression on her face this time.

"I never said I didn't feel the same, Percy. I just wasn't ready, is all..."

They were silent for a moment. An gonizing moment, as 50 years of regret really just took its sweet time working itself off their shoulders.

"Yknow..." He said, drawing her eyes, "... I don't wanna make this sound mean or anything but... I'm not still holding out hope."

Rachel let a small laugh escape her lips, "I'd hope not, I mean, look at me..." She said, gesturing to herself, "Aunt? I could be your great aunt, Percy."

He let out a small laugh all his own, "No Rach. You still look just as beautiful as the last time I was on this porch."

They were both quiet for a moment, the regret taking a break as it slid off their shoulders.

"You still got it?" Rachel asked, letting her eyes stare at him now, as opposed to the glances she was stealing.

He smiled. A sad smile, but a smile nonetheless. He reached into his shirt and pulled something out from under it.

A ring. The ring. Looped through a simple strip of leather he had around his neck.

"I tried a silver chain..." He said, flicking around the strap, "...but it stung like a bitch."

She let a laugh breathe out her nose, "Never really could figure out how the rules worked for you."

"Oh its simple." He said, slipping the ring back under his shirt, "Everything is true, except for the sun, and being invited in. Those are just little lies we made up centuries ago, just to throw people off. Plus the silver thing. People always think werewolves, but eh..." He shrugged his shoulders to emphasize his own confusion.

She let out another laugh, him watching her as she did. He couldn't help but remember the girl he used to know, the one he used to be head over heels for. She was still so much of that girl, but just...

"I hate this, Rachel." He said suddenly, getting an apathetic shocked look from the woman, "I hate being this thing. I try not to, try to see any good in it, but I just... I can't."

Rachel felt a feeling of what felt like sadness and sympathy tug at her heart.

"Percy..." She said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "... you're still you." She let a soft smile pull at her lips, "You just get to be you forever now."

He shook his head, "I don't want to be me forever, Rachel. People aren't supposed to live like this. They're supposed to have families, grow old, die. Not live like this."

She was silent for a moment, an agonizingly painful moment as all that regret suddenly felt like climbing back up, all while another emotion tugged at her heart.

Guilt.

"Y'know I..." She began, stopping as she tightened her eyes shut, "If I'd know, that this would've happened to you. That you would've become this..." She opened her eyes, now wet with tears as she did.

"... I wouldn't have said no."

Percy was quiet for a moment, before he shot a smile her way. A forced, fake smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"It's alright." He said, putting his hand on her shoulder now, "Rachel Jackson never really had a good ring to it anyway."

She laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes as it pulled itself out of her. Her gaze dipped down a bit as she knew their little interaction would soon come to a close.

"My husband's gonna be home soon." She said, in a tone that didn't match the news that her partner would get back. Percy clicked his tongue and took a step back.

"I'll make myself scarce, then." He said, before shooting her a sad smile, "Unless you wanna introduce him to nephew Percy."

She shook her head, a slight grin forming over her lips, "No, he's already gotta meet..." Her words failed her as she jerked her thumb towards the house.

"Nico." Percy replied, "And before you start introducing him to any of your daughters, the kid don't swing that way."

Rachel let her eyebrows lift a bit, "Good to know. Don't wanna make the poor boy have to have that conversation if he ain't comfortable with it."

Percy shook his head with a grin, "You... you're really something else, you know that, Rach?"

Rachel gave him a sigh and a nod as she looked at the ground, "Yeah, I do."

There was silence. For a moment, as they both got comfortable with the fact that this was probably gonna be it for a while.

"Think anyone's left in town who'll recognize me?" Percy asked her, "I don't like the 60 year rule, but... it's effective."

She shook her head, "Most of everyone's gone. The ones left are the ones too dumb to get out. You don't gotta worry, Perce."

He let a small smile pull at his lips, "Y'know... you're still here, too."

She sighed, "Then I guess I'm the dumbest of them all."

There was a smile from both of them, then another moment of silence as the last of the regret slipped off her shoulders.

"How long you gonna stay for?" Rachel asked, to which he shrugged.

"Depends. A year, maybe two. We'll see how well we can keep out privacy, and how little people notice my lack of age." He let out a small sigh, "Then we're off to go restart. Just like every time..."

Rachel let her eyes flick up to his, "Am I gonna see you again."

His own gaze dropped to the floor, "Not unless I gotta pick up the kid. I don't wanna do that to you, Rach."

She let out a sad, understanding nod.

And there was more silence. Piercing now, as they knew that this was probably it.

He cleared his throat, breaking the lack of noise as he clapped his hands.

"Well... I'd best be going." He said, taking a few steps back as he lifted his hands to his sides, "The night is young."

Rachel smiled, "For you, maybe. For me? It's an hour past bedtime."

He frowned, "Then why we're you up?"

She shrugged.

"I was painting. I felt... inspired."

He smiled, turning around back towards his bike, but looking over his shoulder to give her one last sentence.

"I'll se you around... Red."

She stopped on the porch, smiling over her shoulder as she opened the door.

"You too... Four Eyes."

He grinned a bit more and called over his shoulder, "Haven't worn those things in fifty years, y'know!"

She paused at the door, her hand on the frame, before she looked back over her shoulder.

"I know."

With that, she closed the door.

He let the grin slip a bit as he walked off into the darkness, back to his bike. He turned it on, started it up, and peeled off into the darkness, accelerating as high as he was comfortable, then accelerating a little more.

He didn't really want to admit it, but... yeah.

There was still a little regret left to lose.

The ride back was longer than it used to be.

He didn't speed, though really he should've. It was already getting late, late enough that Zoe would worry, and Percy knew if she worried enough, she'd come out to find him.

Which was something to be avoided at all costs.

Yet still, he rode slower than he should've, watching as the stars passed over him in the night sky. He sighed, pushing the accelerator a bit as he decided denying the inevitable wasn't really worth it, but still couldn't shake the blues he was feeling.

He needed something, something to distract him, so something presented itself. A liquor store, a little po-dunk spot out in the middle of nowhere, barely illuminated by a bundle of streetlights that hung overhead.

It was in the literal middle of dogshit, nowhere. For the way he was feeling tonight, it was perfect.

Percy pulled off to the side of the road, letting his bike come to a stop as he kicked the stand and stepped off. The place was open, and thank heavens for that, because Percy could really use a beer right now, and yeah, he could still get drunk. He didn't really know how, it wasn't like his blood flowed, but he could.

Not that he was complaining.

He walked inside the store, immediately recoiling at the sharp lights inside as he fished out his sunglasses and put them on.

He wandered through the aisles of the store, eventually making his way to the beer aisle and grabbing a six pack of some bottled brew. He walked up to the counter and put it down as he looked around for the worker.

He looked left, and looked right, before he rang a bell that was on the counter.

No response.

He sighed, fishing out his wallet and grabbing enough cash for a little extra tip, before slipping it under the cash register, making sure to point at the camera above it so they knew what he was doing.

He slid outside of the store, walking back up to his bike and leaning against it before he grabbed one of the bottles and popped it open.

He drank in silence, alone, like he was ashamed to admit he was used to doing.

He let a sigh pass through his nose as he drank the brew, feeling uncomfortable and frustrating thoughts tug at his brain.

Thoughts of Rachel.

Thoughts of Zoe.

Thoughts of... well, honestly, Annabeth.

He didn't really know why he thought of the last girl. Maybe it was just because she was new, or maybe it was because she was... interesting. Was that the word? No, the right word would be enthralling. Or captivating. Or maybe eve fascinating. Honestly they'd only spoken for maybe ten minutes and it was the first time in a long, long time that Percy felt... well, anything.

He'd grown so used to a sort of nihilistic despondency. A relinquishing of any hope or, honestly, a want for hope that he'd ever feel anything again. He was numb, not comfortably so, but numb nonetheless, and yet when he saw her, and spoke to her... hell, he could've sworn that dead heart in his chest had started to beat again. He didn't know how to feel about her doing that to him. His emotions spun through his mind, swirling at every chance as the blonde farmgirl enraptured his thoughts.

Or maybe it was just from seeing Rachel.

He wouldn't lie, for him to say he was completely over her was false. He knew better than to cling to anything, to believe that the woman with a family that lived in that old farmhouse was anything more than a warm, albeit painful memory of a life he once lived, but still.

There was a time when he'd gotten down on one knee, and she'd had enough pull on his heart for her answer to break him.

Break him, and send him straight to Zoe.

Zoe.

He didn't know what to think of her anymore. There were times he'd hated her, times he'd loved her, times he'd do anything for her, and times he'd want nothing more than to personally drive a stake through her heart.

Now? He felt nothing. No passion, no vitriol, nothing at all. She was a neutral state in his life, a litmus test of normalcy. Honestly, if he went home tonight and she didn't try to seduce him, that probably would've scared him more than anything, convinced him he'd finally went and lost it, but still...

Still. She was all he had.

It was sad, it really was, but it was the truth, and the truth is often a bitter, painful thing, that washes away lies like a wave over a beach. She'd been there for him, for better or for worse these last fifty years, but that kindness went ahead and flushed itself away when he reminded himself that she took everything away from him.

Or did she?

On the one hand, she'd robbed him of course of life that both he and Beckendorf longed for. Aging, family, death. All the things that make humans, humans. Yet, on the other hand, he found that the longer he lived, the less he found he missed it. He had started to distance himself from humanity more and more, to the point where Beckendorf's words, which if said a decade or two ago would've just about broken him, hadn't done much more than drawn a somber sigh from Percy, as he admitted their truth, but found they didn't hit him quite like they used to.

He felt like he was starting to think like Luke.

That thought was enough to snap him from his daze, and make him realize that he was not only getting philosophical, again, but that he'd also absent mindedly finished his beers.

All six of them.

He sighed, wondering if he should go back into that store a few more times that night and just drink and think till the sun rose, but a voice over his shoulder shook him from his thoughts.

"You 21?"

He turned around towards the source of the voice.

It was a girl, teenage by the looks of her, flanked by another, also teenage girl. The first girl was Asian, with slim, sharp features and a rather skimpy outfit barely covered by a massive denim coat. The other girl, who was a dark brunette, looked a bit more typical to Texas. Overalls, flannel, workboots, and dirt stains covering just about every inch of her clothes, with a pair of gardening gloves in one of her pockets.

He blinked as the girls spoke to him, slowly processing their words as his mind pulled itself back to reality. He glanced over their shoulders and took note of the car that had pulled up and parked behind him, with himnbeinf so lost in thought he hadn't heard it. He turned back to them, blinking again.

"Pardon me?"

"I said..." The girl repeated, shifting a nervous look over her shoulder at the liquor store, "...are you 21?"

Percy blinked again, before he looked over at the farm girl, who seemed equally eager for his answer. He sighed, easing off his bike and dusting off his pants.

"Yeah, I am." He said. The girls immediately had smiles on their faces and reached forntheir pockets, probably to pull out some cash, but Percy held up his hand.

"Hold on." He said, drawing their gazes.

"What?" The Asian girl asked, narrowing her eyes, "You're cool, right?"

Percy rolled his eyes, "Sure. I'm cool. But just... you guys know that big house? Near the Chase ranch?"

The girls looked at each other, before looking back at him and nodding.

"Don't ever go there." He said, "No matter who brings you, alright?"

The girls were silent for a moment, before the Asian one rolled her eyes.

"Dude. What does that have to do with anything?"

Percy sighed, letting his gaze drop a bit as he waved them off.

"Nothing. You don't need me, anyways. No one's in the store."

The girls immediately had smiles on their lips as they turned to the store.

"Wait." Percy said, drawing their gazes as he fished out some cash, "Grab me some Sleeman, alright?"

The Asian girl was silent for a moment, before she slowly pulled the money from his hand, not before he glanced up and met her gaze with a warning glare.

"And pay, alright? They've got cameras."

The girl nodded and slipped the money fully from his grip, rushing towards the store with her friend.

Percy let out another sigh as he turned back to the road. He reached over to his bike and turned on the radio, hoping some music might lighten his mood.

Whe You Were Young by The Killers came on, so it really didn't.

He leaned back into the bike, listening as Brandon flowers talked about young love, about heartbreak, about a boy not looking like Jesus, but being more than the girl would ever know.

He sighed, thinking to himself about how maybe if he'd let his hair grow out a bit back then, maybe Rachel would've thought he were husband material. It made him smile a bit, his eyes turning up to the stars as he watched them sparkle overhead.

He watched them, smiling slightly as he admired their beauty, admiring the fact that for the longest time, he'd considered them one of the only permanent things in his life. He let his smile fade when reminded himself there was a strong chance he'd still be there when they went out.

He left before the girls could bring him his drinks.