Song is by The Tragically Hip (R.I.P. Gord Downie)
Chapter 5: Boots or Hearts
The ride home was short, a lot shorter than Percy would've wanted.
He was kinda hoping that the beer would have a bit more of an effect on him. He knew it wouldn't though, it never did. It was one of the side effects of his little... status. He couldn't really get drunk, not easily at least, or really put on fat, or get hungry, or get tired, or... well, really anything.
But the unbelievable heavyweight drinker status, that was the one that stung.
It's not that he was a drunk or anything. He enjoyed being cognitive, being aware. He enjoyed the nice sober life he lived and didn't pretend otherwise, but he also enjoyed the silent moments in life, like he'd had at the liquor store. The only problem there weren't really any silent moments in his head, and that had quickly cropped up as soon as he was up against his bike, despite the brew he'd been downing.
If he weren't already coming up on the house, he'd probably have turned right back around, drank half that store, and actually felt a buzz at least. But the night was young, and he probably had things to attend to.
Zoe was probably one of those things.
He stopped short of the house and turned off his bike, staring at the massive farmhouse. He sighed, letting his shoulders slump as he eyes up the old homestead. He really didn't want to go home.
Home, he scoffed at the word, in disbelief that he'd even call that place his home. His home was out here, in Halfblood, the place he was born and raised, not in some decrepit shack that he and his group of drifters decided to settle down in for a few trips around the sun. Yet, it was the only home he had, and for a depressing majority of his life the only thing he'd ever had that was close to home was wherever Zoe was, however short those little rests-off-the-road were.
He missed it though.
He missed having a home. Settling down, he missed the concept so God damned much.
He let his gaze drift, over to his left, to the Chase Family Ranch. He let his mind drift with his eyes as a series of thoughts passed through his head.
They're probably all asleep. They're probably not gonna notice him. They'd already spied on him, at least as far as he knew...
Fuck it, it's only fair he thought, as he shifted off his bike and walked over towards the property.
It was a lovely house, if he was being honest. A simple one story rancher, low and broad, with wide overhangs and red lumber siding. It had an open frame garage off to the right with a handful of crusty old trucks parked under it.
Percy made his way up to the door before he walked the length of the house. He hit a corner and turned it, walking up near the wall that faced his den, walking toward a certain window in particular...
That was until he heard it. Growling.
He stopped, freezing in place as he turned over his shoulder and saw one of the biggest, darkest, and quite possibly angriest Rottweilers he'd ever seen staring at him.
The dog snarled, baring it's teeth as it watched him circle the property. He turned towards it, his eyes narrowing as he did, before he started walking towards the beast.
Percy liked dogs, always had. The problem was they didn't always like him. It really depended on how much he smelled like death at the time, and how much the dog disliked that. He really, really hoped this dog was one of the cool ones and not the kind that was gonna start barking.
"Easy now..." He said, holding his hand out as he approached the thing. The dog took a step forward as the growling continued, but it's teeth bore a little less ferociously.
Percy got a bit closer, then a bit closer, then he put his hand on the dogs head.
The hound stopped growling, it's ears perking up slightly, before Percy gave the thing a little scratch on its forehead.
The dogs body language changed in an instant. It's shoulders loosened, it's jaw unclenched, it's head rotated slightly, and it started panting immediately.
Percy smiled, "Good boy."
He reached down to the dogs collar, with it growling a bit, before Percy's other hand came up and scratched the pooches forehead again, making it go back to panting.
He grabbed the collar, found the tag, and gave it a read.
"Oh, sorry..." He said to the dog, "Not good boy, good girl."
The dog licked it's lips and let out a soft gentle bark.
"Good girl, Mrs O'leary." Percy corrected.
The dog licked it's lips again before it sat down in front of him, panting some more as it did so, all with a big goofy smile on its face.
"See?" Percy asked, putting his hands on his hips with a smile, "Im not so bad, am I?"
The dog let out a grumble, sneezing slightly as it did so. Percy let his smile slip a bit and let out a sigh.
"Yeah... I guess I'm not being all too good right now, am I?"
The dog looked up at him, softly barking again. Percy looked at the dog, squinting slightly as he did.
"What? I'm curious, alright?" He turned back to the window, but the dog wouldn't have it.
It barked, a little louder this time, and Percy tensed up.
"Hey now..." He said, holding up his hands, "We're friends now, alright? Don't go getting me caught."
She dog stood up and looked over, towards the house. Percy followed her gaze and noticed it, letting his eyelids droop a bit in annoyance.
It was a ball. An old tennis ball.
He turned back to the dog and maintained eye contact as he walked over and picked it up, tossing it from one hand to another as the dog eagerly waited.
He stood in front of the pooch as it stared at him.
"Sit." He said, the dog did.
"Up." He said, the dog was on its feet.
He pursed his lips and nodded, tuning away from the dog. He gave it a glance over his shoulder before he cocked his arm back and sent the ball flying. Admittedly a little farther than he normally would've, but hey, he needed some privacy.
The dog immediately took off into the darkness of the desert and Percy let out a small smile before he turned back to the window.
He peered in, taking note of what he could see from between the curtain. An old oak desk, a couple posters of the empire state building, an old Yankees cap hanging off a chair by the desk.
He tilted his gaze a bit and got a look at the bed. He smiled when he saw her.
Annabeth, the farm girl, laying in her bed, tucked into a ball on top of her blankets. She still had on the leather jacket and had, at some point, pulled it up close to her face.
He let out a small smile, not only at the sight of her in his old strip of leather, nor only at the idea that she still had it on. No, mostly it's because he had an idea she'd been snooping, and it was nice to be right once in a while.
He turned away from the window, only to be met by the dog again, sat in front of him with the ball at its feet.
He let his draw fall a bit as he stared at the pooch, wondering how on earth it had gotten it so quickly.
Maybe he hadn't thrown it hard enough.
He picked the ball up, giving the dog a side eye as he threw it up in the air with his left, holding open his right so it landed smoothly. He shot the dog a stare, and it's ears perked up. He smiled, drawing back his arm and throwing the thing. Hard.
Hard enough that the dust at his feet billowed a bit at the shockwave.
The dog immediately sprinted after the ball, Percy smiling as it did.
"Good girl." He whispered, as he let out a sigh and turned back to his bike beginning the all too short walk over to it. He had a lot on his mind, too much to get through in the short ride over to the den.
Too much to notice the caramel skinned girl, who's onyx eyes had been staring at him through a window in the den.
The girl who'd been watching him the whole time.
Percy walked into the den just about as quietly as he could manage.
Of course, he didn't really need to be as quiet as he was. His clan was, big shocker, mostly night owls.
They wandered around the den, keeping themselves busy with various tasks as they wasted away their time. Some read, some watched TV, others drummed their fingers or bounced their knees before storming off to the basement door.
It swung open at some point and he heard some... things. Things that pulled a scowl over his face and decided his destination for him.
His room. As soon as possible.
He started to the stairs, hoping he'd scramble it them before anyone could stop him. But of course, why would it ever be any other way...
"Hi Percy."
He froze immediately, his hand on the railing, his foot on the first step, and leaned into the bannister, letting his head fall a bit before he turned around to look at her.
Zoe. Still in his denim coat with a certain look in her eyes. Not a get up in that bed before I carry you there myself look, but... a look.
An familiar one, just familiar enough that he knew he'd seen it. Just... not in a long time.
She had her arms drawn up across herself. Not necessarily crossed, but enough that he decided he'd choose his next words carefully.
"Hey..."
He considered that careful, and hoped she did too.
She took a step forward, letting her eyes float up to his and, as much as he wanted to deny it, making his dead heart flutter a bit in his chest. Her eyes fell a bit, down to his chest as she spoke.
"Where were you?"
Her voice was low, not quite a whisper, and not even close to missing the power her words always held, but still... it was low.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stepped off the stairs, landing on the ground with a thud as his spurs clinked. Her gaze raised a bit, back up to meet his eyes.
"I was..." He let a breath out of his nose, trying to think up a lie that was convincing enough to make her drop it, but couldn't. He was too tired to think right now.
"I was at the bar. With Luke."
She let her grip across her body tighten a bit as her gaze remained the same.
"What were you up to?" She asked, her voice picking up its pitch a bit as she spoke.
He let his gaze fall a bit, staring at the ground now as he tapped his toe on the floorboards.
"Nothing." He replied in a dejected tone.
She took a step forward, putting herself more than within arms reach.
"Nothing?" She pressed.
He let his eyes flick back up to hers, an act that he couldn't help but notice made her lips purse and her brow furrow, if ever so slightly. Almost like she was very, very intently waiting on his response.
He sighed, letting his head fall again.
"Nothing." He repeated, in more of a grumble than anything. She didn't answer, and he took that as an opportunity to make his leave, turning back towards the stairs and taking a step up.
"Percy, wait."
He stopped again, though this time not without complaint. He let out an exasperated breath and turned back to her, a frown now pulled dover his lips.
"Look Zo'. I've had a long night, alright?" He said, pulling his hand out of his pocket, "It's already enough of a pain in the ass making sure that bayou fuck doesn't blow our cover on the first night." He said, in a frustrated tone that he didn't really care if Luke heard. Frankly, he didn't even care if the man was here or not...
"So if you're looking to get mad at me," He added, turning back to the stairs, "...then just hold on to it until tomorrow, alright?"
He wanted to walk straight up, but he couldn't. Not because she was holding him there, nor because she'd whispered one of her little brain-foggers into his ear.
He just... couldn't help but want to know what she had to say to all that.
She let out a small breath. Not a sigh, bur a breath, before she took a step toward him and lightly grabbed his wrist.
"Wanna help with dinner?"
The question caught him so off guard it nearly dropped him on his head. He turned back towards her, his brow now furrowed even more and his mouth hanging slightly open.
"Help with what?"
She smiles a bit at his answer, "Dinner. I'm making a roast. I could use a hand."
He blinked, trying to collect himself so he could wipe that dumb look off his face.
"Why are you making food, Zo'. I haven't seen you eat actual food in years."
She shrugged with a smile, "Im feeling... nostalgic tonight."
He stared at her for a moment, his mind racing as it tried to unpack both what she'd said and how she was acting. He glanced over his shoulder, taking a look up the steps of the staircase.
He didn't really mind the idea of making dinner. He missed cooking. A lot. Enough that he sometimes did it just for fun, not even to eat, but still...
This was weird. She was being weird.
He wondered how far he could sprint up the steps before she caught him and dragged him back down. The more he thought about it, he wondered if she would even try to stop him right now, too.
This was weird, but... at least weird wouldn't leave scratches in his back.
He turned back to her and gave her his best attempt at a smile.
"Sure. Why not?"
She wasn't bad.
At cooking, that was. Percy wouldn't ever let the truth be skewed for even a minute. Zoe had done some bad things in her time, lots of it in front of Percy, but her cooking?
She wasn't bad at all.
She mixed up a blend of spices in a bowl, tossing them about as she kneaded her hands through the powders. Percy couldn't help but stare, partially because she was honestly really good at it, and partially because he'd just... he didn't see her like this a lot. It was usually Percy, take off your shirt, or Percy, take off MY shirt. It was never Percy, let's cook dinner together.
It was weird, but that didn't mean he didn't like it.
He had already taken some initiative, having gotten busy chopping up vegetables to add to the casserole dish the meat would go in. It was mostly a waste, to be honest. Their kind didn't really enjoy regular food, unless it was meat. So a bunch of baked carrots and potatoes? Why bother? May as well have been cardboard.
He bothered because he enjoyed it, the cooking. He enjoyed this a lot and, shit, he couldn't lie. He enjoyed doing it with her.
He enjoyed doing something, hell anything with her that wasn't what they usually did.
This little thing, him cutting the vegetables, then sliding them into the dish all while she kneaded the roast in the spices, covering it as well as she could...
If he ignored the lack of a heartbeat, he almost felt like a person again.
"Penny for your thoughts?" She asked, suddenly bringing him out of his daze as he looked over at her.
"H'wat?" He asked, letting his accent slip again.
She smiled at his slang, "Nothing. You've just a got quite the smile on your face, Jackson."
He felt his eyes blink, before he turned back to his veggies, letting the smile grow a bit.
"Yeah, well..." He tossed the knife up, letting it spin before he caught it and went back to cutting, "...I like cooking."
"Oh really?" She mused.
"Yeah," He said, tossing the last of the vegetables into the dish as she laid the roast in it as well, "I like it a lot." He couldn't help but let his eyes meet hers as they moved a bit closer, shoulder to shoulder now, right in front of the oven.
"It's... Relaxing."
She smiled a bit more as she opened up the oven, which had at some point been preheated, and put the roast in. She closed it up and dusted off her hands, twisting up a kitchen timer and setting it on the counter.
He took a step back and leaned into the counter as a creeping bit of dread couldn't help but worm its way into his heart. The cooking was done, so it was probably only a matter of time before the touching started, and with the touching came kissing, and with the kissing came stumbling up the stairs, and with all that...
He stopped his thoughts as she left the room.
It was sudden, and though he didn't want to sound like a narcissist, she normally made sure he was as close as possible wherever she went.
It was a bit comforting then when she peeked her head out from the living room and gave him a squint and smile.
"You coming?"
It was probably just his curiosity more than anything, but he followed. He rounded the corner into the living room and took note of two things. One, the room was empty, probably at her request, two, she was in front of a cd player, putting a familiar looking cd in before she turned to him with a smile.
"Wanna dance?"
He let his brow furrow a bit before he crossed his arms and leaned into the entry of the room.
"Dance?" He asked.
"Yeah," She said, taking a step towards him and reaching out her hand, "Dance."
He was quiet for a moment, a long moment, before he let out a soft sigh and stepped forward, taking her hand as he did. She smiled, pulling him a bit closer as she moved them back over to the cd player and hit play.
He recognized the song in an instant, and took note of how she did too.
The smooth guitar, the soft acoustics, and the voice that was coming up were all things he recognized. He left her lift his hand up over her shoulders as she laid hers on his waist.
It made him tense up a bit, not just at the touch, but at the whole situation. Why did she ask to do this? Since when did she like dancing. More importantly, why did she pick this song?
It made sense when the lyrics started to kick in, the lyrics he didn't quite remember, but etched themselves into his brain as the song played.
"Well, I think that there's a problem here, her voice just don't sound right."
She swayed him back and forth as he let his legs move. To be fair, it was hard not to. He loved the Tragically Hip, ever since they'd come out.
"But I left myself on her answering machine, said 'I'm back in town tonight'."
He felt his chest clench up a bit shen she pressed herself a bit closer, letting her chest rub against his.
"I feel I've stepped out of the wilderness, all squint eyed and confused."
She pulled away for a moment, and his hands tugged at her shoulders, almost subconsciously drawing her back.
"But even babies raised by wolves, they know exactly when they've been used."
She pressed herself close again, letting a breath wash over his face. A move he really didn't want to admit almost made him blush... if he could, of course.
"See, when it starts to fall apart, man, it really falls apart."
She spun him around a bit, letting a smile play across her face, one he couldn't help but return at least a little.
"Like boots or Hearts, oh, when they start, they really fall apart."
She let her hands slide up a bit, up to his shoulders, and he let himself slide a little closer, resting his elbows on her shoulders.
"Ooh, fingers and toes, fingers and toes, forty things we share."
She let her fingers drum into his back and he responded by shooting her a small grin and cracking his own knuckles behind her head.
"Forty one, if you include..."
She shot him a sly look, he swallowed.
"...The fact that we don't care."
A little grin and a wiggle of her eyebrows made his nerves fade and his smile return.
"Now you've blocked off most of main street for your faith parade."
She held his hands, and did a little twirl, with him lifting his arms up with a smile as she spun.
"Well, everyone in town now, they probably all agree, I'm lying in the bed I made."
He pulled her a little closer, his eyes narrowing slightly as he let his hands drift a little lower down her back, not that she could complain.
"See, when it starts to fall apart, man, it really falls apart."
She let her own hands drift up a bit, now softly laying on his chest as they swayed to the rhythm.
"Like boots or Hearts, oh, when they start, they really fall apart."
The solo started, a soft, twangy thing that softly rung out through the room as they swayed to the beat. Percy couldn't lie, not to himself, and frankly if she asked, not to her either. He was really enjoying this. The dancing, the smiles, the casual mutual enjoyment they were having. The fact that the only sexual thing that had happened was Gord Downie taking about sharing fingers and toes. He loved every second of this that they spent just holding each other and taking turns leading their little dance. He enjoyed this, and it really was because of her.
He opened his mouth, trying to say something, but she pressed afinger to his lips, a smile on her face.
"Wait for the song to be over, then you can talk, Jackson."
He obliged.
"Well, you won't even let me talk to you, we've got some air to clear."
He let his hands slide a bit farther down, pulling her a bit closer as he did.
"Well, we'd probably only agree on one thing anyway..."
Her eyes flicked up to his, and he couldn't help but notice how beautiful they looked tonight.
"...That's what the hell is happening here?"
She let her hands slide up to his neck, her thumbs tracing soft circles in his cheeks.
"Fingers and toes, fingers and toes, forty things we share."
He couldn't help but let his fingers press into her back a bit as she pushed her nails into his neck in response.
"Forty one if you include..."
He led his mouth fall open a bit, and she took a shaky breath in response.
"...The fact that we don't care."
He felt himself swallow, and she bit her lip a bit in response.
"See, when it starts to fall apart, man, it really falls apart."
Her hands slid up a bit more, up to his cheeks, as his found their way to her hips, gripping them tight.
"Like boots or hearts, oh, when they start, they really fall apart."
The song started to end, the band playing off the rest of the song all while Percy couldn't help but burn his gaze into Zoe's eyes. She brought her fingers off his cheeks, wrapping them behind his head as she pulled him a bit closer, right up to her face.
"Have fun, Jackson?"
He let out a shaky laugh as he glanced at the ground, before his gaze flicked back up to meet hers.
"Yeah." He replied, a she stood up a bit straighter, "A lot actually."
She smiled, before giving him a soft slap on his cheek.
"Good. I've been saving that one for a while."
He couldn't help the chuckle that came out, "The song? Or the dance?"
She let her gaze drop for a moment, a moment he didn't want to deny made him frown a bit in concern, before it met his eyes again and her smile came back.
"Both."
They were quiet for a second, still holding each other close as they stood in the living room, softly swaying even though the song had stopped.
Percy looked into her eyes, deep into them. He looked in there and tried to see something, something new. Something that hadn't been there this morning that had suddenly showed up and had brought this out of her. He didn't really want to admit it... but he wanted nothing more than this to be something they did as often as they could.
She smiled, bringing her hand up to graze his cheek.
"We can do this whenever you like, you know."
He felt his hands righted around her waist. Her waist he didn't want to admit he really didn't want to let go of.
"I think... I'd like that." He replied.
She smiled, glancing down before she raised her gaze and met his eyes again.
"If you want, Percy..." She said, her eyelids fluttering a bit as she ran her hand up his chest, "...we can dance until the end of time."
The end of time.
He felt it come back, all of a sudden. He felt all the things that he normally felt flow back into his mind, almost in an instant.
This was permanent. Him, his life (or lack thereof), the clan, his needs, his separation from humanity. This was the way things were and the way things were always going to be. He didn't get a choice in the matter, and it was her fault.
Dance until the end of time? He wanted to dance until his time ended.
He slipped out of her grip, letting her hands fall from his chest as his fell from her waist. He took a step back as a look of sorrow passed over her face. It almost made him stop and hold her again. Almost.
"I'm tired." He said, his voice going back to the exhausted tone he'd had before, "Im going to bed."
She let her eyes glance back upwards, meeting his again.
"Want me to wake you when dinners ready?"
He had already started to walk away, making it to the stairs and stopping at the first step, before he turned back towards her, his eyes glazed over with emotion.
"Why bother?" He dejectedly asked, turning away from her, "It's not like we have to eat, anyways."
She was silent for a moment, and he could've left, but didn't. Partially because he wanted to hear her response, and partially... well, because he wanted to see if she'd ask him to dance again.
Her answer just made him think more.
"Where's my jacket?"
He sighed as his thoughts floated back to earlier in the night. Back to the blonde girl he'd spoken to, back to the conversation they'd had, back to the feelings he could've sworn he'd felt.
He once again didn't have an answer.
"I gave it to a friend."
Zoe took a step towards him as her arms drew back across her chest, properly crossed this time.
"A friend?"
He let his eyes meet hers.
"A friend."
She was quiet for a moment, her face pulled into a look of thought, before she let a slight frown pull at her lips.
"Well... get it back for me." She said, before her gaze rose to meet his again.
He felt his face tug with an emotion he couldn't quite determine, before he shoved whatever that was down into his chest and turned back to the stairs.
"Alright."
With that, he walked up the stairs, marching straight to his room without a second thought.
She made sure he was gone before she let a tear fall. Her teeth clenched. Hard. Hard enough that they groaned in her jaw. Her hand reached for the door frame of the living room and she crushed the lumber in her grip, crackling it up the length of the frame.
She wasn't angry because he'd lost her jacket, no.
She was angry because of who'd been wearing it as they'd walked into the house next door.