Disclaimer: I don't own Sakura.
MASK.
Sakura.
I don't love Sasuke.
Not really.
I mean, I love him, but in the same way I love Naruto and Kakashi.
He's a teammate.
A friend.
A brother.
Someone I would risk my life for, and would trust with my life.
I've never loved Sasuke more than that. I just pretended to because I thought I had to.
Everywhere I looked, girls were swooning. Girls loved him. Wanted him. So I thought I did, too.
But the more I spent time with him, the more I realized I didn't love him.
He doesn't know how to treat people. He doesn't understand his words and actions are insulting, degrading—even humiliating. And if he does realise it, that's even worse.
How can he say he wants to revive his clan when he shows no interest in anyone? Who would want to be with such a cold, uncaring bastard?
No, I don't love him. He's a friend. He's important to me, but I could never truly love him the way other girls do.
But I don't want to be different. I have pink hair, and a large forehead. I'm different physically, and I don't want to be picked on anymore.
If everyone loves him, then so will I.
Kakashi knows I wear this mask. Not at first, my mask was too perfect. But as time went on, he did notice.
"Why do you pretend to be something you're not? A crazy, lovesick Sasuke fangirl. You don't love him."
It's true.
But I don't want to be different.
If they knew I loved Lee—they would pick on me. Even more than they already do.
And they would pick on him, for having two people so different physically from other people in love.
I can't do that to him.
I can't do that to myself.
So, I do this instead.
Admittedly, it's not any better, but it keeps me safe. It keeps him safe, too.
By pretending to love Sasuke, I can blend in with everyone else. It's all I want. I'm just lucky that constant rejection from Sasuke doesn't hurt me the way it hurts other girls.
I can't imagine loving Sasuke as much as they do and being rejected constantly like that. Why bother? It's too painful, which is why I'm thankful for this mask.
With this mask, I can run around pretending to love someone when I'm in love with someone else. It hurts me to pretend, and it hurts both the person I pretend to love and the person I truly love. But it's for the best.
When I grow up, this mask will come off. I have no doubt in my mind that I will begin not to care about others and focus on what I want.
I won't follow others just because I'm afraid. I'll change, and begin to care more about what matters to me, and less about what others think of me.
Why should I care?
I wish I didn't care now.
But I do.
So I continue to wear the mask.
Wait for me, Lee-kun.
One day soon, this mask will come off.