Chapter Forty-Three: Into the Fire

With trepidation, Brooke looked sideways at Lucas. They'd recently left New York, but he had yet to get back to what he was. Brooke didn't blame him. But she wished she could help him.

She sighed, thinking of the gloominess of the house in Manhattan. Of the girls listlessly going off to prep school every day in their plaid skirts, of Nathan coming back late at night in his long black cloak, looking like the dignified business man he was becoming. Of Lucas, trying to make his sister's lives normal and failing miserably, because he himself could not be normal.

Brooke tucked her head into his shoulder as he slept, wishing she could sleep as much, to cut down on her worrying time. It would be a relief, to sink into oblivion with him. He'd been so worried about her when he'd thought she was sleeping too much. Brooke didn't even know how to worry over someone.

Part of her wished herself back in New York. The house was huge and somewhat depressing, but it was beautiful. Peyton and Jake were nearby, Haley was in visiting range. In New York she could supervise Nathan and Haley, manipulate them into getting back together as had always been her plan.

The other part of her had missed her beautiful ocean view apartment. Missed the alone time she had with the man she loved. Her Lucas. Her boyfriend? Her lover? Her partner? She never could quite determine his status to her satisfaction. Brooke's hand slid down to where she hadn't yet begun to grow. It was the wild card, it was what changed everything.

She pulled away from him as he stirred in his sleep and slowly awoke.

"Brooke, what're you doing here?" he asked.

"I didn't want you to wake up alone," she admitted. He'd gone to sleep in the early evening, and it was now almost eight.

"Thanks, baby," he said, kissing her lightly.

"No problem. Do you want to order in?" she asked.

"I was actually thinking I might go out. Want to come?"

"Like to a party?" she asked in surprise.

"Yeah, or something."

"No, you go," said Brooke, eager he was finally taking an interest in something again.

Many hours later, at three in the morning when he hadn't yet returned, she was less pleased.

Brooke frowned as he came in the door, tired but obviously not intoxicated. He looked surprised to see her still awake.

"Why are you still up?" he asked, walking toward her.

"I was waiting for you," she said in annoyance.

"Oh."

"Luke, it's three in the morning! If we're supposed to suddenly be grown-ups you can't go clubbing all night!"

"I didn't realize you were in a position to tell me what to do," he said, his voice cold. She stood, wishing she could match his height and stare directly into his eyes.

"Lucas, I'm so tired of this. If you want to mourn, mourn. Cry on my shoulder, I'd welcome it. But you need to grow up. I need you to grow up," she pleaded.

"It's not so easy, Brooke! You expect me to suddenly be a different person, and I don't know if I can ever be who you expect me to be!"

"This was your idea. I was fully prepared to have it by myself, until you came back and spewed about how we could be a family. You can't back out now," she threatened.

"I'm not. I never will. Why can't you trust me?"

"Because I still can't trust that you're truly dedicated to this," she said softly, her green eyes beseeching him. Suddenly he fell to his knees in front of her.

"Marry me."

Brooke stared down at him in shock. The thought had crossed her mind, but they'd never so much as discussed it. It always seemed like a distant idea, something to be talked about in the gray area that was "after".

"What are you on?" she demanded.

"I'm serious. I'll do anything to make you believe in me, Brooke. I love you," he promised.

"I'm not going to marry you to end an argument," she said stubbornly.

"I was hoping you would because you love me," he said. She looked down at him. He took her hand and pulled her down to the floor so they were at roughly the same height.

"I do love you. I just don't know if I can trust you."

"You can. You always can. This is what this has always been about, isn't it?" he pressed. She leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss onto his lips.

"I'm eighteen," she protested, her voice feeble.

"It would have happened eventually," he said. She leaned forward and kissed him again, this time more deeply. It was this kiss that he took for his answer.

Brooke clung to Lucas in the taxi on the way to City Hall the next day, but by the time they arrived, she was calm. Serene. Prepared.

Lucas, ever her rock, smiled as he slipped the diamond onto her ring finger. He was sure of her. The day without her, when he'd left Tree Hill, had been the hardest of his life. Even after he'd gone back to discover that everything he'd feared was true, he still hadn't stopped loving her. He knew now that he never would.

Brooke slipped him a covert wink as he took her in his arms and kissed her, their first as a married couple. He smiled back, enchanted by her green eyes, the thick dark lashes that framed them. Lucas wondered if Brooke would ever stop surprising him.

As he put his arms around her and lengthened the kiss, Brooke couldn't help but wish he'd never stop. Hold her there forever, where she felt safe, prolonging the most beautiful moment of her life.

The taxi ride back to the apartment seemed much, much too long. By the time they got back they were all over each other, kissing wildly, unable to break apart even for the short elevator ride.

"I need you," he whispered into her ear, before letting a kiss fall on her neck. She blindly put her hand on him, causing him to let out a gasp of surprise and pleasure.

"Screw it," she said in annoyance. Leaning back, she firmly hit the emergency stop button and fell happily into her lover's arms.

"That wasn't exactly conventional," said Lucas hesitantly, as the elevator started again and they rode up, hastily fixing their clothing.

"Baby, we just got married. We've been dating four months and I'm eighteen. None of this is conventional," she teased. He glanced at her hurriedly buttoning her shirt over her black lacy bra, and pulled her toward him again.

"But it's good…" he said, smiling in relief as they finally reached their floor.