Chapter 9: Latte and Doughnuts/Smith's Birthday

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or quotes that are used in this script. If I did, I would be rich, but as I don't, I'm not. The only thing I own here is my own words and it takes a long time to put things like this together, so please don't steal. If you do however, and I find out…(grins manically)…I have friends that have friends…

I really am sorry 'bout this story not been added to for so long. -- I'm working hard to finish it…

Dedicated To: John Constantine (Constantine) and Vince Noir (The Mighty Boosh)

Constantine: No.

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Author: (VO) And now, you join us aboard the Nebuchadnezzar, as we divulge into another episode of: MATRIX-ENDERS!

Theme Tune: Dun dun dun dun dun!

Trinity: Shut up.

Author: (VO) Sorry.

Link: Latte and doughnuts.

Neo: (to Sid) Well, we cured Morpheus and made a tidy profit from E-Bay.

Link: Latte and doughnuts.

Trinity: (to LS) And we stopped off in a Starbucks.

Link: Latte and doughnuts.

Morpheus: (to LP) AND WE MET A NEO IMPERSONATOR!

Link: Latte and doughnuts.

Neo: …What now?

(Everyone stares up at the ceiling, in some vain attempt to contact the Author, which actually works.)

Author: (VO) Don't look at me. I only write this thing.

Link: Latte and doughnuts.

Author: (VO) The first toothbrush was invented in 1498 for an Emperor in China.

Neo: You're a mine of useless information, aren't you?

Author: (VO) Yup.

Link: Latte and doughnuts.

Morpheus: I've had a thought.

Author: (VO) MORPHEUS! WHAT HAVE WE TOLD YOU ABOUT THINKING?

Morpheus: I think it's Agent Smith's birthday today.

Author: (VO) Who's a mine of useless information now Mister One? Huh? Huh?

Link: Latte and doughnuts.

Trinity: Morpheus, how do you know that?

Morpheus: I went to college with Agent Smith.

Everyone: (GASP!) You never told us!

Morpheus: I tell you on a regular basis.

Everyone: Oh, right, yeah..

Link: Latte and doughnuts.

Morpheus: I feel a flashback coming on…

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Screen ripples and a 70's style college hallway appears. Two students are in the centre of this screen- one wearing dark sunglasses with shaggy brown hair and the other with no glasses and a large black afro)

Young Morpheus: So, I said to him 'How about I give you the finger and you give me my phone call?'

Young Smith: Heh, good one Morph. Speaking of dodgy suits in suits, the principle says I've got a bright future in IT, but he thinks I should learn to control my anger and stop being so power-hungry.

Young Morpheus: Man, just ignore him dude. He doesn't know anything- look how he turned out!

Both: Huh. Huh. Huh. Huh.

Neo: (VO) Morpheus, what happened to your afro?

Morpheus: (VO) I lost it down the back of the sofa when I was twenty.

Neo: (VO) Oh.

YS: So, it's my birthday today.

YM: Dude!

YS: Yeah, you wanna come round to my place and get drunk on coca cola like last year?

YM: Well, I'm meant to drive my mom to the hospital 'cos she's expecting the baby today, but what the heck. I'll come.

Neo: (VO) So that's why your sister was born on the freeway!

Morpheus: (VO) I said don't take the freeway for a reason.

Trinity: (VO) Oh, I get it now.

Link: (VO) Latte and doughnuts.

(The flash back ends, and fades into the Nebuchadnezzar)

Morpheus: We should bake him a cake.

Neo: And buy him a present!

Sid: And make him a card!

LP: And make paper chains!

LS: And paper plates!

Trinity: And hold him a party!

Link: Latte and doughnuts!

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I know it's not very long. Please review. Flames will be extinguished. And this is the second to last chapter! Sorry...hope you've enjoyed it. The last will be out before September.