Chapter Fifty: Do You Believe?

Author's note: Okay, that was the end of the last "Season" of my fanfiction. This is the season premiere. Ryan would be added to the credits (unless she was already? I kind of forget). The credits would change order-with Haley coming first, then Nathan, then Jake, then Ryan,then Peyton, then Brooke and Lucas. Then there would be one more credit, stating it as "and" this character, as a mysterious older guy.

Jake loosened his tie in relief as he stepped through the door of the Scott house and heard it shut behind him. It was becoming a relief, to end every day in the family environment, while his other life was so lacking in same.

"How was it?" asked Nathan, coming into the hall. Jake was surprised. Though it was happening less and less, it was far from rare that Nathan would be at the office into the early hours of the morning.

"Good. Brooke kept texting me pictures of Devon, which made it harder to work, but it was good," said Jake, briefly summarizing his day.

After his freshman year had ended, Nathan had offered him a summer job at one of his newspapers.

"She does that incessantly. Guess living around Lucas doesn't give her a good impression of the workforce?" guessed Nathan. Jake laughed appreciatively as Leigh and Ryan ran in to join them.

Ryan, now eighteen, was much more like the Ryan of the previous summer than she had been all year. It had been a year since her parents had died and she'd grown into a woman, full of pain and feeling. Her blonde hair was longer down her back, and she was dressed casually in cutoff shorts and a tank top.

Leigh's hair had grown naturally back to its original colour. She'd dropped her gothic phase in favour of a casual, almost tomboyish look. She'd outgrown her sister, and was proud of her recent age of sixteen.

"Hey guys," said Jake, happy to see both of them. Leigh offered him a wide, honest smile. Leigh Scott was slow to trust, but Jake was finally her friend.

"Hey Jake," said Ryan, happy as ever to see him. "You staying for dinner?"

"If I'm invited," said Jake, glancing carefully toward Nathan. Their small family was still fragile, and he wasn't wholly a part of it.

"You're always invited, man. Up for Chinese?" asked Nathan, grabbing a stray portable phone off the hall table.

As Nathan began to dial, Jake's own phone began to ring. Taking one look at the screen, he flipped it open and ducked into another room.

"Peyton?" he said in surprise.

"Yeah. Where are you, I haven't seen you all summer?" she said.

"The Scott's."

"The Lucas Scotts, or the Nathan Scotts?" asked Peyton sarcastically.

"Nathan's. I'm still on this coast," said Jake.

"Did you tell anyone you wouldn't be home this summer?" asked Peyton.

"I don't know what you were expecting. A singing telegram? We broke up, and I'm making money," said Jake.

"Fine, whatever. I'm just calling to say I'm going to be living in the dorms, and the place is still yours if you want it," she said, hanging up abruptly. Jake cursed lustily to himself. He did still want the place, bad memories or not. But there was no way he could keep it by himself.

After ten minutes of silent brooding, he went back to join Ryan, Leigh and Nathan, who were playing blackjack in the kitchen, impatiently waiting for their food. Jake walked over to Ryan, who was sitting cross legged on the counter.

"Hit me," she instructed Nathan. He handed her a card, and she tore her eyes away from him to glance at Nathan.

"You okay?" she whispered, as Leigh and Nathan began to talk.

"I'll tell you later?" he suggested. She nodded subtly as Nathan turned his attentions back to her.

Ryan turned her attention to Leigh, who was lamenting over a bad card decision. Jake glanced toward Nathan, who was looking intently at him. With an almost smile, Jake remembered the Nathan of the previous summer. The cocky, self assured Nathan who'd spent his entire time trying to entice Haley. Nathan was now a father, businessman, all around good catch. Perfect for Haley, who still refused to see him.

"Peyton?" mouthed Nathan, noting Jake's sad face. Jake nodded and tried to smile. They were in the same position now, and it brought them closer. Jake had lost the only four he'd ever been close to-Chris, because of Haley, Haley, because of Nathan, Brooke because of Lucas, and Peyton. Peyton, because of him.

It was hard to believe.

Would it have been better if they'd never gotten together? Was it in fact better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? Some days, Jake wasn't entirely sure.

"Food's here," said Nathan tensely, after another pregnant pause.

Half an hour later, they'd descended back into their traditional family mode. Jake was showing Leigh the pictures of Devon he'd been texted. Ryan was telling Nathan about the article she'd read on Davis in US Weekly, about how she was back in LA, being charitable and partying. And how there were rumours she'd taken out her breast implants, and she'd dyed her hair and it looked awful.

Even later in the evening, Nathan had taken out Leigh to buy her new clothes for September. Jake was loading the dishwasher with the few dishes they'd used, and Ryan was sitting on the edge of the counter, swinging her legs against the cabinets and attempting to make him open up to her.

"How long's it been since you guys talked?" she asked.

"Months. Since she moved out. She went back to Tree Hill with Haley and I stayed here and I've been with you guys almost the entire time. It's been pretty easy to avoid each other," he said. She frowned sympathetically. Ryan was far, far out of her element, but somehow she understood.

"What did she want?" she asked softly.

"She got into the residence. Says I can have the place," he said bitterly.

"Uh, good?"

"Not exactly. I still want it, but there's no way in hell I can afford to live there by myself," lamented Jake. Ryan looked at him calculatingly.

"But we can," she countered. Jake looked up at her in surprise, and forced himself to remember that she was more than just a little kid. She was his age. Almost.

"What? Aren't you going to live at home and go to NYU?" he asked.

"No. I talked to Nathan the other day. I have money, I'm over eighteen. He supports it," she said.

"My place is tiny, Ryan. It's not exactly what you're used to," he said apologetically, glancing around the imposing, stainless steel kitchen.

"I don't particularly like what I'm used to. Come on, I'll pay half the rent and you can teach me how to do laundry," she said. He cracked a half smile.

"Fine. But you're telling your brother," he said firmly.

"Tell me what?" asked Nathan, walking in to the kitchen.

"I'm going to move in with Jake," she said proudly.

"Nice. Someone I can trust to get her home once in a while," said Nathan ruefully.

"I'll visit," she promised, jumping off the counter to hug her big brother. Nathan smiled as she nestled herself into him, and held her tightly. After everything he'd lost, it was reassuring to still have them, to be a good father to them.

Later still, Jake had yet to go home. After Ryan and Leigh had gone to bed, he found Nathan in his study, filling it with smoke.

"You okay, man?" he asked awkwardly.

"It's going to be hard to let her go," said Nathan.

"It's usually pretty hard," said Jake. They met eyes, both knowing the other wasn't speaking of sibling love.

"Take care of her," said Nathan.

"Always. You know, it's been a year," said Jake.

"Pretty much exactly 365 days in which I've almost called her," said Nathan.

"You guys could still make it work."

"She's with someone else. I left her, Jake. I never should have, but I did."

Jake considered this. Seamus was something of a tool, but Haley didn't seem to mind. He turned to go.

As his hand reached out for the crystal doorknob, he paused.

"All her life, Haley has never felt for anyone…" Jake paused, collecting his thoughts. "The way she felt about you."

Jake walked out of the room, leaving Nathan in the smoky, semi-darkness of his room. He looked out into the lavish, empty hall.

"And she never will," he said, before beginning to walk down it.